Is there anything I should know about spending christmas with my Thai mother in law?

[Skallywag]

9 hours ago, hexhex said:

also be the first time I'm meeting her! I don't wanna look dumb or disrespectful,

Learn some basic thai, i.e. sawadee ka, and kop kun ka. and learn how to wai correctly.????

Gifting? ask your husband.  Always tough to know how to spend enough but not too much. 

 

[Suradit69]

10 hours ago, hexhex said:

re there any traditions or gifts I shouldn't give, or things I shouldn't do

Maybe she celebrates Chanukah or Kwanza.  

[malt25]

9 hours ago, bendejo said:

Maybe not xmas style gift giving.  If you're coming from an occidental country, bring some kind of treats they don't have out here.  A sampler box of chocolates for example, but be aware the tropical heat.

 

 

Am I missing something here ? Tropical heat ??? OP is meeting future MIL in the US. Northern hemisphere last time I looked. You know, white Christmas & all that, especially in a northern state. 

[Gandtee]

Will the wife be with you?????

[DUNROAMIN]

What ever you start, that will be the norm from then on. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ TIT

[Kwasaki]

12 hours ago, hexhex said:

Or I guess future mother in-law, I just wanted to keep the title short.

My Thai mother in-law didn't know what Christmas was she didn't know how old she was either she said she was born in the summertime.

[spidermike007]

15 hours ago, malt25 said:

"who was born and raised in Thailand, but has lived in the US for a while now."  I suggest the OP should be read thoroughly prior to offering advice. If future MIL is living in the US, me thinks an envelope stuffed with green backs would be more appreciated than Thai Baht !

I disagree. Giving cash in Thailand is considered normal for lower or middle class families. For the most part, it would he considered crass in the US. Like you are trying to buy her approval. It is a different world.

 

Give a gift. Or a gift card of some sort. Costco, Walmart, something practical like that. 

[rwill]

thai's don't give stuff like knifes and scissors as gifts.  Even if you are giving an old set away they want to make a token payment for it.

[Yinn]

16 hours ago, nikmar said:

My kid had a maths test on Christmas Day last year. How we laughed as I told him of what his English cousins would be doing.

 

However, you could give a few thousand baht ot New year. I dont mean that to sound cynical. i give a percentage of my New year bonus to my in laws out of appreciation. It is well recieved.

 

15 hours ago, fishtank said:

Most Thais have no idea about Christmas.

Just another day.

 

15 hours ago, bendejo said:

Maybe not xmas style gift giving.  If you're coming from an occidental country, bring some kind of treats they don't have out here.  A sampler box of chocolates for example, but be aware the tropical heat.

 

 

I think all the above not read OP. Mother in USA 10 years already. 

 

My recommend. 

Smile a lot. Learn to wai (for meeting parent first time, the “level” of wai. And you wai first). Not need hug and kiss when first meet. Wai enough. 

Hug goodbye ok, (not to much)

 

 

polite joke ok. 

Not get drunk.

Not smoke. 

Not show tattoo. 

Dress not sexy. Not show breast. Not show shoulder.

Not talk to loud.

 

gift not important. Some snack/food enough. (Someone say buy gold. Really not need do that. Not give cash) 

Not worry about color of the paper. 

 

Relax, polite, friendly and fun the best way. IMO

Not worry to much. Thai people friendly and polite.

Good luck.

 

 

Edited September 24, 2019 by Yinn

[ericthai]

Why dont you ask your boyfriend? He knows his mother better than anyone here...

As stated Christmas isn't really celebrated in Thailand nor is it considered a holiday.

However, I've seen allot more Thais starting to participate in Christmas over the years

(not the religious part, but having parties, giving gifts, decorating etc.)  Good luck and I hope you enjoy your trip, I'm sure you will fall in love with Thailand too!  

[amykat]

Dear OP, I assume you are a polite and thoughtful person or you would not be worried about this.  Please do exactly the same as you would for the Mother of any other boyfriend in the US.  Bring a hostess gift, bring her a gift according to your age and financial standing, for example if you are still a college student, this will be less than if you are a practicing physician and 40 years old.  If you were dating a Mexican guy who was born in the US but his Mother was not, would you be freaking out?  Why are you?  Don’t overthink it. If your boyfriend was born and raised in the US, then he is American.

[Momofarang]

This is a forum for western males exploiting Thai females.

[Momofarang]

On 9/24/2019 at 11:52 PM, Yinn said:

I think all the above not read OP. Mother in USA 10 years already.

So why should she bother? She is in her country, just ignore the Thai BS, get drunk, have fun, and make all the classic racist stereotypes.

Worse, her MIL could be one of the "despicable foreigners" who walked all over hot water springs in a National Monument.

Edited September 26, 2019 by Momofarang

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎24‎/‎2019 at 12:20 PM, hexhex said:

so I've been googling what gifts not to give and such, and came across things like "don't wrap your gifts in green, blue and black",

What a load of <deleted>.

She lives in the US, so do exactly the same as you would if she was an American. She does want to be an American, right?

 

Don't wai her- you don't know how to do it properly, and she lives in America, not Thailand.

 

The best subforum to have posted on would be the Farang Pub, where we could say what we really think.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 4:52 AM, Yinn said:

Smile a lot. Learn to wai (for meeting parent first time, the “level” of wai. And you wai first). Not need hug and kiss when first meet. Wai enough. 

IT'S NOT NECESSARY FOR A FARANG TO WAI.

Farangs don't know how to wai. MIL lives in America, not Thailand. Live with it.

 

If OP think that farangs should wai, she should also ask that her future husband pays her parents to buy her, as it is the Thai custom of sin sod.

It's also the custom of Thais for the husband to pay for the wedding party ( at least it is when the husband is a farang ).

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 4:52 AM, Yinn said:

Dress not sexy. Not show breast. Not show shoulder.

Not talk to loud.

Seriously? So what Thai girls do in Thailand doesn't apply.

My ex wife was plenty loud.

Your suggestions are from 30 years ago when Thai girls didn't have sex before marriage, didn't expose their midriffs or shoulders, and waited on their husbands hand and foot, while ignoring his visits to the Mia Noi.

 

If MIL is that difficult to go meet, if I were the OP I'd be avoiding going at all.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If MIL is that difficult to go meet, if I were the OP I'd be avoiding going at all.

No mention of the OP needing to negotiate her bride price then?

I'd ask mom for $100,000 cash plus $50,000 in gold before even considering marrying her son.

[Davidvs]

On 9/23/2019 at 9:05 PM, neeray said:

But maybe future "mother in-law"  is Christian. There are some in Thailand, I know, first hand.

Yep, my wife's family is Buddhist, but her cousin's father is from one town over and the whole village is Catholic.

 

I still have trouble getting my wife to understand why she gets gifts on Christmas and she's been in the US for 7 years ????

 

[Davidvs]

On 9/23/2019 at 10:12 PM, wgdanson said:

And what about all the Muslims in UK or USA, do they celebrate......serious question.

Not in the US, but I know many Jews who do. (in addition to Hanukkah)