Has the sexpat scene totally destroyed the dating scene for 20s-30s farang? (Younger guys not getting any love in Thailand due to negative association)

[bkk6060]

Comments I get from TG are many of the 20 to 30 year olds seem very effeminate.

They lack sufficient funds, are selfish and seem to talk about themselves too much.

Makes sense to me.

[david555]

14 hours ago, Scott said:

Interesting.   I've worked with a lot of farangs, all the way from one as young as 19 (and technically shouldn't have been working), up to their 70's.   The young guys tended to be quite good looking.   They came from everywhere, but the last several years it was most commonly from South Africa.  

 

I'd say about 40% of them were in a relationship/dating a Thai girl and the rest seemed to have better luck with Western girls.   I know the ones with Thai girlfriends had what seemed to be more trouble.  

 

The older guys I worked with always seemed to find someone, but I suspect that had more to do with money or security than anything else.  

 

Not all to do with money , but a lot …., I am sure if a young  Thai girl could  choose between a young guy with money or an old guy with money  ….they should pick the young ones with money   

 

But sad for them most of young ones need still to make their way to building up that money bucket 

[Curt1591]

Yes; they have ruined it. You're just fine.

[bbi1]

5 hours ago, andy72 said:

a face only a mother could love

 

your giving off gay signals

 

you know desperation is setting in when you've started on the 7-11 girls

 

you know desperation has set in when you ask TV for dating advice, its like asking your grandpa how to pick up girls

Haha......lol. So true when apparently the age group of most posters on TV are grandpas.

[bbi1]

1 hour ago, Drax said:

Not so easy to date a hot girl long term unless you have a big wallet. Maybe that’s your target?

That ain't true bro. Depends on your standards if you wanna aim low but I have high standards and surely don't have a big wallet. They have to contribute financially to the relationship making it fair, and all my past ones have without having to ask.

[Salerno]

Sorry to say OP, it's not them, it's you 

[HeyHeyHey]

I'm in this age category and I feel like a candy in kindergarden

 

OK looking, but not CK model material. Polite but always ready to tell someone to <deleted> off if they cross the line.

 

You must be doing something seriously wrong

[HLover]

4 minutes ago, HeyHeyHey said:

I'm in this age category and I feel like a candy in kindergarden

Like a sucker?

[Antonymous]

Just tell them you are looking to buy some land or a house and need their help. Never fails.

 

 

[Antonymous]

1 minute ago, Antonymous said:

Just tell them you are looking to buy some land or a house and need their help. Never fails.

 

 

Of course if you look like someone who doesn't have the wherewithal to buy land or house, that could be your problem right there????

[HeyHeyHey]

11 minutes ago, HLover said:

Like a sucker?

Someone who puts "Lover" in username and uses a celebrity as his photo can't relate to it, as you are likely bald, 260 pounds piece of art 

[FritsSikkink]

The sex industry has nothing to do with love. 

[nauseus]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

The sex industry has nothing to do with love. 

Now you tell us!

[soalbundy]

Love ? are we being a little naive here ? I'm friendly with a lot of women here, of all ages and I find it easy to get chatting and laughing with the 7/11 girls (helps if you speak Thai) because they know I don't want anything from them.

[Denim]

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

 

Try buying and wearing an expensive gold chain or bracelet, that often works as a lure

 

And if it does work and you get her as far as the bedroom a gold stud in the scrotum should see you to the finishing post.

 

No need to thank us , our good advice is free.

[HLover]

21 minutes ago, HeyHeyHey said:

Someone who puts "Lover" in username and uses a celebrity as his photo can't relate to it, as you are likely bald, 260 pounds piece of art 

Nice Yankee baiting try. ????????????????

Edited October 10, 2019 by HLover

[sweatalot]

16 hours ago, Genmai said:

wrinkling their face until it looks like a shriveled anus

????????????

[Beardog]

Sounds like you are in the wrong country. If your looking for romance read a Tim Robbins novel. Thai's are not really famous for hot steamy romance only on Thai soap operas.

Gemnai you need to have some cash &  game.Have you ever tried speed dating , you get 1 minute to impress the girl or of you go talking to yourself down the road.

You need to have wit & be able to captivate the gals with your wit. At least 6-1 gals to guys but the Thai girls if you haven't noticed already have one or 2 kids by the time they are 18(a rough estimate) But seriously Thailand will be a bust for you if you are headlong on a steamy romance. Almost 16 years here & I have never seen a European or American steamy romance. but that being said you do need to have game & here you need money,partyables & a great wit. Best to hone in on someone that speaks some English if you do not speak Thai somewhat or you are an instant loser to her. Moved here when I was 50 & never had any problem scoring or getting in a good long term with a regular girl(not a bar girl) Very easy to strike up a conversation with a Gal here.Make her laugh buy her coffee, lunch or dinner & take it from there. 7-11 gals do not speak to much English but there are bunches that may find the allure of a farang(that has something to offer) cause if you are tits up mate -the girls can get a broke hoser here that they don't have to speak English with. If your after romance  I would stay in Europe or Spain maybe U.S. very easy since the girls are western & all dream of being swept up by a charming guy. Try looking for an semi-English speaking gal & get her to laugh. Fish on!

[Isaanbiker]

"Now, there's nothing at all wrong with any of that.

But what about the young(er) guys here in their 20s and 30s looking to date "normal" women in their age bracket?" 

 

Is your Thai perfect that you can communicate, wallet filled, never ending cash flow? Can you make jokes in Thai and a girl seriously laugh, etc.???

 

  Why would a good looking Thai girl prefer a 20-year-old foreign backpacking greenhorn who'd never had sex before he came to Thailand to an excellent looking Thai guy with cash, somebody she can understand and communicate with?

 

  Do you believe the fable that Thais have a short one and all foreigners are so well fitted and so handsome in their sandals and wife-beater shirt, some fake Rasta dreadlocks and no idea about girls in general? 

 

Why do people believe that Thai girls are so much different to the others in Western countries?

 

Aren't they all looking for the same?

A guy with a brain they can communicate with well, have a lot of fun, sex is just one part of a relationship and for Thais it's not the most important one.

 

 

Now I'm not talking about some bar girls who tell you what you want to hear now. "i love you too much."

 

  Would a girl in the UK prefer to date a poor Russian man she can barely understand?

 

  I hope that you get my drift. If not, don't take it personally. 

 

  

 

   

 

   

 

 

 

   

Edited October 10, 2019 by Isaanbiker

[HeyHeyHey]

10 minutes ago, Isaanbiker said:

Why would a good looking Thai girl prefer a 20-year-old foreign

Because there are many many of them

 

10 minutes ago, Isaanbiker said:

to an excellent looking Thai guy with cash

Because there are very very little of them

 

11 minutes ago, Isaanbiker said:

Is your Thai perfect that you can communicate

I can say like 10 words after years here, yet my gf looks like a supermodel. Irrelevant

 

She learned fluent English pretty fast. Even if relationship breaks she gained valuable skill. Me learning Thai? I can congratulate myself on learning third language, wasting months and gaining nothing.

[cyril sneer]

you should start looking at a younger age group

 

perhaps get a job teaching at a high school or wait outside the gates for them to finish

 

forgot what the rule is, half your age minus 7 years, might be the opposite, not sure..

[whitemouse]

"Has the sexpat scene totally destroyed the dating scene for 20s-30s farang? (Younger guys not getting any love in Thailand due to negative association)"

 

If you are reasonably good looking, reasonably fit and not an a$$hole, you have no difficulty dating women or men here. Actually it is easier here, then parts of the West, especially Scandinavia, where people tend to be more reserved. 

The impression you give is important, I know lot of guys in the West, under 40, and they can not form a relationship. These guys may have find it difficult in Thailand, too. Often a very average guy is looking to score a girl much higher in food chain, and he will the world for not succeeding. We have to have an honest perception how we come across to other people. It's hard to accept that I am a very average guy, and my best shot at the relationship is with someone fairly average looking. Money and social status would change that, of course.

[brokenbone]

1 hour ago, Isaanbiker said:

 

Is your Thai perfect that you can communicate, wallet filled, never ending cash flow? Can you make jokes in Thai and a girl seriously laugh, etc.???

 

  Do you believe the fable that Thais have a short one and all foreigners are so well fitted and so handsome in their sandals and wife-beater shirt, some fake Rasta dreadlocks and no idea about girls in general?

1] most thais below 40 and very many above speak english perfectly well.

2] its a fact that they arent well adapted to our size,

the vast majority dont fancy pain, which suggests they are used to much smaller equipment

[whitemouse]

OP says "There's been a number of posts made on TV about the supposed availability of eager beautiful Thai women who flock to farangs."

 

I don't remember reading those posts. People meet and reletionships are formed, but Thailand is not different from West, unless you mean commercial scene. It is hard to form a long term relationship, where partners are on equal standing, in the West, and in Thailand. What complicated Thailand especially, culturally, male is expected to "take care" of the female, and that care is expected to extend to her family. It may be hard to detect if you are taken advantage of, or what is a legitimate role of a man. 

[Lacessit]

Women are attracted to good looks, power, intelligence and money.

In Thailand, I'd say only movie star looks or money will get one to the finish line.

[ilms]

You say your Thai is basic. That probably means that many Thais won't understand you when you try to speak Thai, especially if you try to go beyond the most simple of phrases. Get your Thai better (really work on pronouncing things clearly) and I think you'll see that you have access to whole groups of Thai women that you currently don't. 

[metempsychotic]

5 hours ago, IvorLott said:

The main problem here is the OP is trying to homogenise the thoughts of 30 odd million women into a single conscience stream. 

There is no 'right or wrong' here. 

I remember a time (1980s) when it was almost impossible to meet, let alone date 'normal' Thai women. (I'm that old) as there was the popular connotation that Thai woman + Western bloke = hooker. Thankfully that mindset is a thing of the past, though still exists in some older Thais. 

To address the OP's question, no is my answer. It is easy to blame 'sexpats' and 'sex tourists' for our failings. Every generation blames the one before, as the saying goes.

My advice would be try not to 'overthink' the issue, be yourself, and see what rolls along. It sounds like you're having a 'barren spell'. Don't let it get you down. Even Warren Beatty has those. I'd say don't try and force the issue. If you are low on confidence, try the 'bad girl' route until your 'mojo' comes back.

Meeting 'good local girls' has been the 'Holy Grail' of expat life for decades (across the globe) some have more luck than others. Take the experiences of others with a pinch of salt. 'Good girl' tales are the expat equivalent of 'Angler's tales' i.e. often highly embellished.

Bottom line is that I'm sure that if you fill the criteria of being a 'good catch' in your home country, it will only be a matter of time until you're clicking in Thailand. 

What exactly is a conscience stream?

 

Not too sure about your reccomendationto pay for sex or date prostitutes to learn how to cope with women either. 

And the op has no experience with others as he has indicated that his social group has about as much luck dating Thai women as he does so there aren't really that many grains of salt for him to be taking. 

 

 

 

Edited October 10, 2019 by metempsychotic

[metempsychotic]

6 hours ago, ylmiri said:

To be more precise, "and live happily until you divorce lost all your money, or murdered by your missus ex-hubby whom she secretly still in contact.  Or murdered by your wife while you were sleeping because she found out you keep a younger girl somewhere.

No, it's no a joke, the above did happen but not that often, you read them in the newspaper.

Murdered indeed. What are the stats on that like 1 in 3?

[Nyezhov]

4 hours ago, Isaanbiker said:

Do you believe the fable that Thais have a short one and all foreigners are so well fitted and so handsome in their sandals and wife-beater shirt, some fake Rasta dreadlocks and no idea about girls in general? 

if I was a Thai girl, I would just swoon over some "English" teacher who makes less per month than my bar bill on a weekend.

[donnacha]

8 hours ago, metempsychotic said:

9 hours ago, donnacha said:

German soldiers could manage that with shop girls in occupied France, it is just a natural thing between men and women.

seriously, you couldnt come up with a better parallel than this?

No, that is the best parallel precisely because it is so extreme. If the natural attraction between men and women is so strong that it overcomes even being a hated occupier, I think the OP has a pretty good chance of making a connection with a Thai woman if he just relaxes and plays it smart.
 

 

6 hours ago, nauseus said:

I was completely sucked in there, until you mentioned.....the Irish! ????

Well, I see from your avatar that you are a Brexit supporter but you should not let the recent virtue signaling from the (unelected) prime minister of Ireland turn you against a people who are fundamentally warm friends of the British. Our genes and our histories are intermingled to a ridiculous extent.

Personally, I feel that the current Irish leadership are missing the chance to extend a real hand of friendship to a country that will be important to us long after the EU has collapsed. These idiots have entirely missed the big picture and think it is more important to be praised by The Guardian and the BBC.

If you put aside all the current politics, and really think about it, what I am saying is borne out by the enduring popularity of Irish presenters on British TV, all the way from Eamon Andrews to Terry Wogan (even during the troubles) and through to Graham Norton and Dara O'Brian today. The tiny country of Ireland consistently produces some of the most-loved personalities in British media precisely because the Irish are good at a certain style of easy-going charm. For someone like the OP, that is not a bad template to start from.