Longer term expat question -- have you burned your bridges or were they burned by others?

[Jingthing]

Maybe op should define "don't burn your bridges" it probably has different meanings to different people

No.
Define it for yourself.
That makes more grounds for a diverse discussion.

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[luckyluke]

1 hour ago, madmen said:

Air bnb has made expensive rental contracts obsolete.

AirBnB rentals can only be used as "holiday" rentals, not as a permanent stay, in Flanders.

Permanent stay is 3 months guarantee.

 

I go now end of this month to Belgium for 2 months, I stay at the Belgian coast in a seasonal rental apartment,

no problems because I paid the 2 months in advance and my principal residence is Thailand.

 

Those rules may of course be different somewhere else.

[Gecko123]

One takeaway I'd share after living here for the past 16 years is that the viability of your Plan B plans needs to be constantly re-evaluated and updated. Just look at all the changes worldwide in terms of immigration policy, climate change, entitlement program reliability, consumer price and asset inflation, interest rates, currency exchange rates, potential social unrest, etc. which have occurred just in the past decade. May sound like nervous nellie talk, but if you don't keep a close eye on what's going on wherever you might land next, you could be in for a vey rude awakening.

 

Edited October 26, 2019 by Gecko123

[scubascuba3]

No.
Define it for yourself.
That makes more grounds for a diverse discussion.

Ok, well I've never burned down one of these

[nakluapattaya]

I did burn my bridges by accident, and i regret it. As i was 22 years old when i came to stay for 4 years on a ED visa back then.

When i came back to my own country at age 26, all my former friends had reached an age of not going out anymore, stuck at home with their GFs, babies, became full blown wage slaves, stuff like that. As i wasnt around for 4 years they werent much interested in rebuilding the relations. They already had replacements from work, fitness, etc. I got rejected by just about everybody. THB it hurted, got a bit depressed feelings from that. The older you become it also seems to be harder to (re)build relationships, find friends. Im pretty lonely now here at a young age. So my bridges in life are actually in Thailand now, besides my family. Luckily is visit my family often, and spend every year 3 to 6 months in Thailand now. And its OK. Prefered to have friends here as well, but life just became this way. Not much i can do about it now.

[FarFlungFalang]

I haven't burnt all my bridges yet as I still have a rickety suspension bridge I'm keeping to skip back to OZ to secure the pension and once that's done I'll have a nice little bon fire and bid the land down under a fond farewell!

Edited October 26, 2019 by FarFlungFalang

[Lacessit]

16 minutes ago, FarFlungFalang said:

I haven't burnt all my bridges yet as I still have a rickety suspension bridge I'm keeping to skip back to OZ to secure the pension and once that's done I'll have a nice little bon fire and bid the land down under a fond farewell!

I trust you have done all the research w.r.to Centrelink, the ATO, and Medicare.

Bear in mind hospitals here will cost an arm and a leg if anything serious happens to you. Keep your options open.

[sirineou]

1 hour ago, giddyup said:

If I'm forced to go back I'd survive, probably just rent a small condo. You have to play with whatever cards life deals you.

 Then I would say you have not burned  all your bridges and still have a small one just in case. Good for you

[madmen]

2 hours ago, luckyluke said:

AirBnB rentals can only be used as "holiday" rentals, not as a permanent stay, in Flanders.

Is that a law? After the first month I would ask the landlord if we can continue monthly but outside of Air bnb , no point paying them commission. The arrangement is cash in hand for the landlord so cant see anyone knocking that back

 

 

[luckyluke]

20 minutes ago, madmen said:

Is that a law?

 

 I can go on visit to Belgium many months, stay at an Airbnb, or seasonal renting place, but my permanent living place will still be Thailand. 

If I want to move again permanently to Belgium, I can buy a property, or than renting. 

When renting, 4 months rent has to been paid in advance in Flanders. 

3 months in Wallonia.

T.I.B. ???? 

This is law. I will only be registered as living in Belgium again if there is a contract stipulating I paid the 3 months guarantee (Flanders). 

Edited October 26, 2019 by luckyluke

[dimitriv]

21 minutes ago, madmen said:

Is that a law? After the first month I would ask the landlord if we can continue monthly but outside of Air bnb , no point paying them commission. The arrangement is cash in hand for the landlord so cant see anyone knocking that back

 

 

 

Probably you will not be able to register yourself with the authorities. Unless the owner of the Airbnb agrees with this. If you rent long term, and the owner agrees that you will register yourself with that address than it is not really an Airbnb anymore.

 

You can of course stay a long time in a country without registering yourself. But without registered address you will not officially live there. 

 

[sunnyboy2018]

Ive been away since 2002, living in North Africa,  The Middle East and Asia. I kept my links with the UK, return home to my flat for two months a year, drink at the same pubs, with the same people  shop at the same corner shop etc. My modest income stream remains UK based as does my property base. I have not burnt my bridges and nobody could against my will.

[wisperone]

When he used Chuck Schumer as a example, that kind of killed his credibility. If anyone does what he is saying, it would more than likely be on the Republican side of the aisle.

[wisperone]

I think age has a lot to do with it. It's one thing if you are young like this guy, you can get established and settled in another country if desired, and it will become normal and natural to you.

 

Doing it later in life...wouldn't consider it. Would never burn my bridges now...not when older. There is no place like home. Especially if health issues creep in with age. To each their own though.

[Number 6]

Pretty much burnt. 30 years abroad, half my life.

 

3-4 friends but only one good one left.

 

I've a friend my wife and I could stay with but he's in California and I don't want to settle back there $$$. An uncle I might be able to rent a condo from for cheap. A few cousins I might be able to stay with a few months. My elderly mother, but family drama with useless drama queen brothers. But in a pinch. Have some good banking connections still.

 

Credit rating long disappeared. No credit cards. Hate credit.

 

Looking at Florida. Wish I could settle on an island state like Utah or Idaho. But taxes and NO beach

Edited October 26, 2019 by Number 6

[Number 6]

3 hours ago, nakluapattaya said:

I did burn my bridges by accident, and i regret it. As i was 22 years old when i came to stay for 4 years on a ED visa back then.

When i came back to my own country at age 26, all my former friends had reached an age of not going out anymore, stuck at home with their GFs, babies, became full blown wage slaves, stuff like that. As i wasnt around for 4 years they werent much interested in rebuilding the relations. They already had replacements from work, fitness, etc. I got rejected by just about everybody. THB it hurted, got a bit depressed feelings from that. The older you become it also seems to be harder to (re)build relationships, find friends. Im pretty lonely now here at a young age. So my bridges in life are actually in Thailand now, besides my family. Luckily is visit my family often, and spend every year 3 to 6 months in Thailand now. And its OK. Prefered to have friends here as well, but life just became this way. Not much i can do about it now.

Don't feel down.

 

If the alternative is being some Babbitt wage slave with a fat wife and a bunch of little monsters you're ahead of the game.

 

You'll find someone..don't compromise. I was 49.

 

Just earn money. Save.

[sunnyboy2018]

5 hours ago, Jingthing said:

What do I mean?
It's more of an open ended concept.
It means different things to different people.

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Burn you bridges is a well known saying with its origins in classic mythology and history pertaining to a Roman General's decision, when beating a retreat,  to burn bridges behind him  thus preventing his enemies catching him but preventing him from returning.

[Mansell]

I kinda burned my bridges when I moved from England to the USA in 1973. When I return to England I pretty much feel like I’m living in a time warp, especially how the costs have zoomed up so high for food and rent etc. When I left I paid five pounds a week for an apartment for two people, and another five pounds for groceries for the week. It seems now that a pound is worth 20p. or less. I have a one niece there, and two friends I am in contact with. When I walk down the street in Cheltenham where I lived I am a stranger in a strange land.....places look the same to a degree, but the people walking around bare no resemblance to what I left in 1973.

Now I live here having left America behind...haven’t burned that bridge. Still in contact with many friends mostly in a spiritual based church I am a minister in, and that will continue most of our lives. I talk online usually a few times a week with them, and we have a Ministers Meeting each month hooking up through Zoom, folks are in Alaska, Hawaii, Australia, Mexico, Japan, New York, and here. So a large part of my consciousness is still connected to America and my friends. I have a wife here and two boys, and we are about to foster a third boy for a while. I am 75 and love life, love this country, love the Tropics, feel blessed every day. If I had to return to the States I would probably buy a used Kawasaki Ninja 400 as my main transportation and still enjoy life, but would miss my family here......they inspire be every day and I plan on living to ninety......if my health is still good, maybe past ninety. Thanks for reading.

[Nyezhov]

As long as the Big Orange Meanie keeps shoveling coal in the USA economic engine, Im building more bridges.

[Sydebolle]

My bridges faded away over the last 35 years. Sitting on a PR but never gave up or changed nationality as "aliens" here remain what they are and never will become Thais. 

Have not visited my country of birth for almost ten years and have no dire wish to do so. Quite happy the way things are, specially when seeing, what happened to my "home" country. 

I live in a parallel society here with little interface to the local community as far as friendships or social interaction is concerned - and it seems to be quite OK for both sides. 

[Jingthing]

42 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

As long as the Big Orange Meanie keeps shoveling coal in the USA economic engine, Im building more bridges.

So you're no longer an expat?

[The Theory]

Just keep the savings back in the US as an insurance. 

[gearbox]

22 hours ago, taxout said:

 

Most other bridges are also financial. In particular, long-term expats tend not to be on the property ladder, and that can make returning to the US really difficult. Nobody wants to live in a trailer park.

 

The Aussie trailer parks (caravan parks) are not that bad at all.  A lot of them are at the beaches, and the people seem well behaved. In fact some of them like the ones near Bowen are booked years in advance.

I still remember a rustic caravan park near Dingo beach QLD and the oldies there....fishing and beer, fishing and beer....

[gearbox]

5 hours ago, FarFlungFalang said:

I haven't burnt all my bridges yet as I still have a rickety suspension bridge I'm keeping to skip back to OZ to secure the pension and once that's done I'll have a nice little bon fire and bid the land down under a fond farewell!

How quickly you can rebuild the bridges with OZ depends on whether you have a family or assets here in Thailand. If I need to move back to OZ and I'm in good health I would do a Crocodile Dundee style walkabout - so many things to see, so many adventures possible ???? 

 

[scubascuba3]

Is that a law? After the first month I would ask the landlord if we can continue monthly but outside of Air bnb , no point paying them commission. The arrangement is cash in hand for the landlord so cant see anyone knocking that back
 
 

I stayed at an airbnb place in London for 6 months on a separate contract. Easily done, depends on the landlord

[Mike Teavee]

14 hours ago, Jingthing said:

Why did it happen? Did I want to lose it? No. If of course not. But keeping it current with the new real ID requirements at least in my state made that almost impossible. If I could have gotten past that with some games then I would have had to sign a document stating I'm a state resident but obviously I'm not. Isn't that a felony?

Exactly the same thing with me , I lost my UK license 6 years ago when it expired, could have signed a form that says I was living at my parents house & provided proof like utility statements (I have the same name as my Father) & bank statements (I use my Parents house for my Bank correspondence) but am not comfortable with lying to a Government agency (especially as I take great pains to be non-UK Resident for Tax purposes) plus I feel like I shouldn't have to if I'm doing things right (And I didn't have to, I should have transferred my license over to a Singaporean one within 6 months of getting here).

 

 

Other than that I've not burnt any bridges with the UK... 

• Keep in touch with family & a small number of friends (I visit 2-3 times per year so not just "electronically")
• Kept my house (though it's rented out, so I couldn't return to it without notice but I wouldn't do anyway as I'd rent somewhere smaller & closer to family)
• Kept up with state pension contributions (AVCs - Additional Voluntary Contributions), though I think this year puts me on 36 years which is 1 more than I need for maximum state pension 
• Kept my bank accounts & credit cards 

Things I don't do because I don't live in the UK...

• Renew my driving license (As above)
• Add anything to my tax free saving schemes (ISAs)
• Rely on NHS when I visit (I always take out an annual travel insurance policy, I travel so much that I do this anyway, the fact it covers me when I'm in the UK is a bonus)

I could do all 3 of the above but again, I try to do things the right way if for no other reason than that way I know how things (are supposed to) work.

 

 

 

Edited October 26, 2019 by Mike Teavee

[Blue bruce]

Why would anyone want to give up their citizenship ????

[sirineou]

4 minutes ago, Blue bruce said:

Why would anyone want to give up their citizenship ????

So that they would not have to comply with the rules and regulations of that country , or they might have moral objections. Meny do it to escape taxation.

[Jingthing]

Why would anyone want to give up their citizenship ????

It's an extreme step but the main reason for US nationals seems to be to divorce from US tax and treasury department filing obligations that are considered by many to be unreasonable and onerous. Very few countries bother their expats in that way. Obviously you need another passport to do that. Personally I never would do that although I would be interested in a second passport.

 

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[soalbundy]

On 10/26/2019 at 7:24 AM, sirineou said:

To me it means not to sell your house, or if you do, invest the funds in a safe investment vehicle and dont touch it, so that if needed you can comeback and buy another.

People sell their houses and come to Thailand build a McMansion  buy an expensive SUV and don't work then if something happens and they need to go back, they cant liquidate their assets , and by that time things back home have become much more expensive since they left anyway , and they are trapped in Thailand or cant return to the same lifestyle they left. 

Also keep in touch with family and friends, sucks to be old and not have anyone.

Keeping in touch is a fragile thing. I have found emails to friends and family gradually die off after 10 years or so. My life in Asia is so different to their lives in Germany that we can't relate anymore, one starts to hear such delicate words as "It's all very well for you but we live in the real world" etc. jealousy and misunderstandings arise especially when they are working for a living and you aren't so I don't bother anymore. I can't relate to 'being old and not having anyone', I was always fiercely independent even now in old age, being alone has never held any fears for me. I have my family here but it's nice when they all go out somewhere to the temple or a funeral and I can be alone. If you are old and ill, it is as it is, NHS or medicare won't save you from death, I certainly wouldn't return for a few more years on crutches or a hospital bed.