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Don't move your Thai wife to the West if you want to come back .


sirineou

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If you ever want to move back to Thailand , think twice before you move your Thai wife to the US

I had read the warnings many times on TVF and elsewhere , but I was different, this are things that happen to others, I am by far a superior human being.

So we moved to the US, because I wanted to work.

  I love my my wife and want nothing but the best for her,  We bought a  nice house in Florida, taught her how to drive, got her a car, send her to school to learn english and then learn  a trade, made sure she got her US citizenship......

We also have a comfortable  house in Thailand, where we spend some time every year.

 So now I am ready to retire, and mentioned to the wife that I would like to close down the house in the US and go and live in Thailand for a couple of years see if we like living there full time.   

   Wife is finding all sort of excuses why Thailand is not good, Too dangerous, too much crime, Government crazy. etc .

  I don't blame her, she is making good money here, weather is nice ,Big Asian market near her,   she has everything she need, plus the US is exciting to her as Thailand is to me. Why would she want to go back, especially now that her parents passed away.

  We have two  Farang/Thai couples here with which we are close friends, and neither of the girls really wants to go back.

Even knowing what I know now, I still would have brought her here , I love my wife and I would want her to become a citizen for when I am gone, but I can't help but think that I made a mistake, 

 Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away. 

 

 

   

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Taking a Thai out of Thailand is often like trying to take a fish out of water, they don't do too well. Compared to which your story is one of success. Congratulations! I would not complain if I were you!

 

Furthermore, she is correct, the Govt is <deleted>. Plus the pollution not good for the health. Thailand is not what it used to be, why come back?

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You plan a short-term trip, round-trip plane tickets for only a few months.  Then she will be happy since she knows she's coming back.  However, while you are in Pattaya, sell the house ASAP, transfer the cash to your offshore bank account and give her 200 baht for some good somtam.  But, really, she might realize Thailand is where her heart is......but remember to buy 10 burn phones.  I have 18.  

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On 1/18/2020 at 8:29 PM, sirineou said:

^^^^^^

I guess the same might apply to other western countries. 

it always depends on the money.

it takes much more money to feel comfortable in the West than in Thailand.

of course if you make enough to spend with not too many restrictions, why go back ??

 

I know Thai ladies that are in Germany and Switzerland where the husband earns an average income, not one of them wants to stay.

There are just too many restrictions in personal liberties and the "price of doing something" is way too high.

 

In Switzerland, I was in the top 1% earners, but spending about 25% of my income on a mortgage for a 3 bedroom house would have taken 40 years to pay it off. So I left.

 

And for the little things, the transportation pass for Zürich costs about 24000 baht per year, 3 very small cokes, a portion of fries and a couple of sausages in the Swimming pool, 2000 baht. Large communal outdoor pool, the water is icy, must at around 20 or 22 °C.

When sightseeing with the kids in the mountains, all roads have fences so you can't stop the car without blocking the road, and there are stops every 1 or 2 Km... except they are mostly all full.

 

Without a large amount of money, Switzerland is hell.

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2 minutes ago, DaRoadrunner said:

Taking a Thai out of Thailand is often like trying to take a fish out of water, they don't do too well. Compared to which your story is one of success. Congratulations! I would not complain if I were you!

 

Furthermore, she is correct, the Govt is <deleted>. Plus the pollution not good for the health. Thailand is not what it used to be, why come back?

I am not sure if taking a girl out of thailand is like taking a fish out of water is correct. We know several thai couple and as far as I can tell they all seem to thrive. for two of the couples the wife males more money than the Husband, One is a Hairdresser for the Hair cuttery and makes crazy money, the other got a job a seamstress at a parachute factory, and now runs the whole place, wants my wife to go work there, This little Thai  girl jumps out of planes!!! They are required to jump out of the plane with their product, I guess you do a real good job if you are required to use it on yourself LOL

Point made, Give Thai people a chance and they excel.  But that's not good for for me, I love Thailand , I want to be there.

   

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21 minutes ago, sirineou said:

^^^^^^

I guess the same might apply to other western countries. 

No, my wife wanted to go back Thailand after her being in Uk for 2 & 1/2 years she wanted to be back with her family. 

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8 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Maybe your wife likes farang men and there are just so many over there.

 

Why would you say that? you might have that problem but when you are a stud muffin like be why would she even look at another man?

 

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49 minutes ago, sirineou said:

Any way, just wanted to make that warning, you bring her here, you might not be able to peel her away.

If you've got a woman, and a house, I can't imagine any reason to come back to Thailand either.

I certainly wouldn't.

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25 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Maybe your wife likes farang men and there are just so many over there.

this is the other problem = divorce = loss of minimum 50% assets for what?  And at a late age when some cannot recover....dangerous risk....vagina/love is an expensive gamble.  Not saying marriage is wrong, as I am NOT god.   I know, wrong is right sometimes; we need to fail to succeed...you get me?  Everyone has a path only they can take.   Great OP topic. 

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2 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

No, my wife wanted to go back Thailand after her being in Uk for 2 & 1/2 years she wanted to be back with her family. 

Good for you, we should have came back after a couple of years also. We have being in the US for 10 years now, boy how time flies? 

 if my wife's parents were alive, I am sure she would to go back ,  parents are very important to the Tais I know.

Even though it has being a year now since her mom passed away,  she buys half a dozen yellow roses every few days and puts them on a shrine she made for her Mom and Dad , they have to be yellow because her Mom told her in a dream that she likes the Yellow ones. When we are in Thailand we take her parents favorite foods to the Wat, She believes her parents eat it. I am sure the monks love it, but as long as it makes my wife feel better, i am all for it. 

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2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If you've got a woman, and a house, I can't imagine any reason to come back to Thailand either.

I certainly wouldn't.

I love Thailand, I guess if i lived there for a while, it might wear out, that's why I don't want to sell the house, 

Give it a try for a couple of years and see how it goes.

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1 minute ago, sirineou said:

I love Thailand, I guess if i lived there for a while, it might wear out, that's why I don't want to sell the house, 

Give it a try for a couple of years and see how it goes.

You've been gone the last 10 years, I've been here the last 10 years.

It's changed, and not for the better.

 

If I could afford a woman and a house in Florida (and a US passport), I'd be there like a shot.

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I know several married couples UK German and Swiss, the guys come back for extended holidays but wives prefer to stay in adopted country.(some have jobs)

Sure family is one tie but if thats not strong or there, foreign countries seem popular and Thailand is ok for holiday if they must!

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You have treat her too well !!

What’s that saying “ treat her mean and keep her keen “ !!

 

Seriously though, it depends on your location outside of LOS and her situation here, some are gonna want to come back but I think more will want to stay outside.

 

25 years ago I was working with an American guy in Brazil and we started dating two sisters. 
Long story short, we both married, I moved to Brazil and he shipped his over to the US.

 

I took my wife to the uk for short trips 4 or 5 times, she loved it .... but..... wouldn’t want to live there.

Then we started visiting her sister in Denver... yup... she could live there all right !!

We divorced in 2015 she made a beeline for Denver, now legalised, and lovin’ it !!

 

It’s all about location, location, location !!

 

My Thai gf would love it in the uk ...... until she went somewhere better ...... and believe me .... there are plenty of better places !!

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10 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I love Thailand, I guess if i lived there for a while, it might wear out, that's why I don't want to sell the house, 

Give it a try for a couple of years and see how it goes.

Thanks for the honest post... we had 3 trips to USA for 6 months each... I think we both missed Thailand and eventually I sold my home there and we moved to my wife's village... never looked back... and I still find life as charming here as I did many years ago. 

 

that said, in that aspect we were on the same page, but in a 20 year relationship, that is not always going to happen... I think it rare that in any relationship, any 2 people will continually want the same thing... stuff happens. 

 

Life and relationships have serious challenges sometimes and as yours, there is no fault. 

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How are you even surprised by that? You educated her, got her a good life, good paid job, lives in a country with much more freedom and stability compared to here. 
Obviously she does not want to return lol, aside of short holidays. I would not come back either, why do you want to? Cravings for Soi 6 haha?

That aside: I do get your point, I am very aware that if I do bring my wife over to Amsterdam, the chance of her wanting to return permanently is very small.
As of having found out a loophole that makes me able to do this, thanks to a member here recently, I am carefully considering that this year.

Edit: Just a few weeks holiday in TH a year would be more than enough for me to not miss it. The food can be cooked anywhere.
Better healthcare, building up more financially too. Free education. Clean air. Clean water. Cheaper and healthier groceries etc etc etc.

Thailand simply is no longer the place it used to be, I doubt it will return to what it was anytime soon as well.

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yeah.  I believe I know the area he is talking about.  Warm weather, not far from the ocean and beach.  Much much less traffic.  Lots of Thais about, including a pretty big Wat Thai.  Going back to Thailand for a middle aged or older Thai woman would be a step backwards by many measures.  She knows there would be less to do.  Would not be able to do any decent work or make any decent money. This is not the case of a young bar girl missing the action and hanging out with the girlfriends.

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OP. Are you suggesting you  made a mistake?  From my observation of the  various experiences of those who come to Thailand and at some point end up exiting as ex  expats with a Thai partner/wife  seem to experience generalized standard  outcomes.

Those are that get the "Thanks  for  getting me outa there and now bye bye", "Thanks but no thanks I wanna go home", " Thanks and I am happy to be where I am with you". The last  can include those who never leave Thailand. 🙂

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, tgw said:

it always depends on the money.

it takes much more money to feel comfortable in the West than in Thailand.

of course if you make enough to spend with not too many restrictions, why go back ??

 

I know Thai ladies that are in Germany and Switzerland where the husband earns an average income, not one of them wants to stay.

There are just too many restrictions in personal liberties and the "price of doing something" is way too high.

 

In Switzerland, I was in the top 1% earners, but spending about 25% of my income on a mortgage for a 3 bedroom house would have taken 40 years to pay it off. So I left.

 

And for the little things, the transportation pass for Zürich costs about 24000 baht per year, 3 very small cokes, a portion of fries and a couple of sausages in the Swimming pool, 2000 baht. Large communal outdoor pool, the water is icy, must at around 20 or 22 °C.

When sightseeing with the kids in the mountains, all roads have fences so you can't stop the car without blocking the road, and there are stops every 1 or 2 Km... except they are mostly all full.

 

With a large amount of money, Switzerland is hell.

I meant "without" of course...

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3 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

OP. Are you suggesting you  made a mistake?  From my observation of the  various experiences of those who come to Thailand and at some point end up exiting as ex  expats with a Thai partner/wife  seem to experience generalized standard  outcomes.

Those are that get the "Thanks  for  getting me outa there and now bye bye", "Thanks but no thanks I wanna go home", " Thanks and I am happy to be where I am with you". The last  can include those who never leave Thailand. 🙂

The real life stories I know are only happy stories of where the Thais do not want to go back (mainly because they can now earn decent money). They also told me they finally found REAL friends, something they often said to never really had in Thailand (even they thought they had while still in Thailand). 

Funny how these things differ so much from online topics, I guess we rarely get to hear the good news.

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I think ideally, spend 6 month in each place would be perfect.

 

You US guys have the advantage that you can stay somewhere warm in you own country, me coming from Scandinavia don't have that option. Spending the winters there is not nice, hunkering down inside your house/apartment waiting for spring.

 

As it is now, I gonna stay in Thailand when I retire, I still love being here all things considered.    

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2 minutes ago, guzzi850m2 said:

I think ideally, spend 6 month in each place would be perfect.

 

You US guys have the advantage that you can stay somewhere warm in you own country, me coming from Scandinavia don't have that option. Spending the winters there is not nice, hunkering down inside your house/apartment waiting for spring.

 

As it is now, I gonna stay in Thailand when I retire, I still love being here all things considered.    

Well, you could as easy do cheaper and easier short holidays in southern Europe too right. At least, that is what I will do if we move, during winters.
I actually started to miss the seasons, to always sit in extreme hot weather isn't everything after many years as well.

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2 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

The real life stories I know are only happy stories of where the Thais do not want to go back (mainly because they can now earn decent money). They also told me they finally found REAL friends, something they often said to never really had in Thailand (even they thought they had while still in Thailand). 

Funny how these things differ so much from online topics, I guess we rarely get to hear the good news.

True enough. But as anywhere the most important factor of everyday life is the attitude of  community regardless of location.

 

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49 minutes ago, poohy said:

I know several married couples UK German and Swiss, the guys come back for extended holidays but wives prefer to stay in adopted country.(some have jobs)

Sure family is one tie but if thats not strong or there, foreign countries seem popular and Thailand is ok for holiday if they must!

Yes I have many friends here in OZ they all have been here for years and none wants to go

back to Thailand. My good friend lived in Thailand for many years(has a huge house in Thailand)

and a few houses here in OZ his Thai wife does not want to live in Thailand anymore. My wife

(ex now) lived here for 15 years, still has family in Thailand and does never want to go back.

Also my nephew who is here for 7 years now, never wants to go back. I also have friends in

Germany, Austria, Croatia who have been in holiday a few times to Thailand decided never

to go back for holidays.

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53 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Well, you could as easy do cheaper and easier short holidays in southern Europe too right. At least, that is what I will do if we move, during winters.
I actually started to miss the seasons, to always sit in extreme hot weather isn't everything after many years as well.

Fair points, but the cold season in Thailand is very nice, not extremely hot, actually sometimes under 20 in the evenings.

 

Yes I am also considering that option, southern Europe in the summers, rent an apartment somewhere for a month or two just to get away from Thailand, getting new views, impressions.   

 

 

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14 minutes ago, guzzi850m2 said:

Fair points, but the cold season in Thailand is very nice, not extremely hot, actually sometimes under 20 in the evenings.

 

Yes I am also considering that option, southern Europe in the summers, rent an apartment somewhere for a month or two just to get away from Thailand, getting new views, impressions.   

Well yes but the cold season is generally very short or combined with heavy air pollution like right now in CM. That same weather is also available in Spain / Portugal. Edit: Ok well, maybe you would still be better off in the south of Thailand during winter time indeed.

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