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Genuine friendships in Thailand.


WineOh

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How do you have friends at home....it's through hobbies, gym, golf, squash whatever...neighbours sometimes or work colleagues....same same anywhere...my friends here I met them all through work...used to have many drinking buddies but as soon as left the bar, the "friendship" and use that word loosely ended there until the next time.

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1 minute ago, Liverpoolfan said:

very true Charlie. it' a sad fact of life that most people only care about themselves.

Maybe i'm the same. I like to think not but it could be the case.

However, I would say my level of selfishness pales in comparison to the many people I meet out there in the big bad world. 

i'm drinking coffee so take all this with a grain of salt, BUT i'll SLIGHTLY disagree.  

 

1.  I've given over 100,000 Baht to Thai people.  NOT money, but computers, phones, clothes, electronics, etc.......  i consider that being very nice.  i don't have any idea the names of the people who i gave the gifts to.

 

2.  BUT to other farangs, i might appear very selfish.  I didn't come to Thailand to help farangs.  Sure, if i had a good friend i would... 

 

3.  So i think "using" each other is case-by-case.   in general, i think it's a fair statement, but I know I could be labeled as both.  

 

unless you say they are "using" you for your company, then we all use each other.  

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6 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

1.  I've given over 100,000 Baht to Thai people.  NOT money, but computers, phones, clothes, electronics, etc.......  i consider that being very nice.  i don't have any idea the names of the people who i gave the gifts to.

I would argue that merely giving things away to strangers is not a nice gesture, more a fool hardy endeavor that labels you an easy target.

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@Liverpoolfan

 

You're not the only one as I have also faced similar situations.

 

It's impossible to make close Thai friends because our Thai language is just not good enough and their English is of very low proficiency.

 

Stay clear of bar girls as they are just gold diggers.

 

Unless you look like Tom Cruise or have body like Arnold Schwarzeneggar, the chances of Thai girl marrying a much older men for love and not money is near zero.

Edited by EricTh
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1 hour ago, Liverpoolfan said:

I don't know about you lot but i struggle to make any meaningful, worthwhile friends in Thailand.

Most of the people I meet are either tourists or what most people would consider 'undesirables.'

I've made 3 really great friends in Thailand,

One died from cancer age 49 (we had coffee or lunch nearly every day), one died from HIV age 59 (we messaged each other 3-4x a week while he was banging his way around the world, I'd join him when he was in Asia), one still comes to cycle and hike with me every day in his works holidays (December and August).

 

I've become a bit tired of friends dying on me, probably won't bother to make any more.

Edited by BritManToo
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49 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

I think that counts for life doesn't it?  count the number of true friends on one hand? now 'mates' are a different thing (drinking, trips, dinners etc. but you don't really know them). I truly never think about it and i'm cynical anyway and, yes, I'm here because I like girls and booze (sorry).

Having worked in 17 states across the USA coast to coast I echo your comments.  Sure I made some acquaintances at work, did some outings, went to the local county fairs, a casino night, the Del Mar race track, but close friends?  nah with two exceptions.  I did make good friends with two fellow contractors.  One I do call my best friend and over the years we helped each other a lot.  I got him jobs, he got me some jobs, I stayed at his home, got to know his family, helped him build his retirement home in Canada.  He put me up now and then between jobs and I put him up when starting jobs on the road where I got to the place first.  And the other guy I was the best man at his wedding (RIP BIll).  All the people I grew up with, well of course most we grew apart.  They stayed in Rhode Island I moved out.  Keep in touch with some.

 

  On my 15 or so trips to Thailand, the longest stay was two months.  So I was not expecting nor going there to make friends with expats.  Ran into a few over the years that I would see on and off, some from the UK some from the USA, but I had no plans or desire to share personal stuff.  I mean, we really are strangers.

 

  As far as any Thais, I was friendly with some on my first few trips but they moved on, the bar we all hung out at changed owners, etc. Not much permanent there.  If I were to expat more full time there, things might be a little different, but the language and cultural challenges are not small.  Would not mind sharing and exchanging things with fellow expats as both can profit from information, how to do things, etc.  On some of my long plane rides or bus rides in the country I have had some fine chats with people from various countries.  But friendship.. nah doubt it

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