Neighbour was angry with me today. Dont know what to do.

[The Theory]

On 7/15/2020 at 8:33 PM, bbabythai said:

1. Put on my ugly angry face and extend my arm / hand and wave them away-as has been done to me.. Basically dont say anything and tell the workers to continue. 

2. Offer her some plastic to put over the area.

3. If they do try to stop us I will have to get very angry and raise my voice and show my <deleted> off face. 

 

I know number 3 is not the go in thailand but sometimes it does get results over here. 

No wonder ...... ????????????

Edited July 16, 2020 by The Theory

[FritsSikkink]

4 hours ago, bbabythai said:

we wrote them a letter a week ago to which they did not respond. They are beyond reproach. As discussed above they are rude and put their hand up like a stop sign. 

You wrote a letter, in your language or theirs?, they live in the same building, what was stopping to have a talk. You want something done which invades their privacy and ruined their property. You think writing a letter would be enough?

Get of your high horse and have a normal conversation between equals (actually , I am getting the idea they are way more civilized than you attitude wise). 

Edited July 16, 2020 by FritsSikkink

[pacovl46]

Well, I’m not familiar with Thai law, but I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to do necessary maintenance work on your house! Get a Thai to talk to them, if they refuse again, get the work done, but see to it that you protect their property as much as possible and clean up the bits that couldn’t be prevented and that should do the trick, if not, consult a lawyer.

[ChaiyaTH]

I remember a angry bar girl saying, you farang look down on us bar girl bla bla bla. I replied, I think you should be more concerned with Thais over that. Silence...
 

Edited July 16, 2020 by ChaiyaTH

[samsensam]

2 minutes ago, ChaiyaTH said:

I remember a angry bar girl saying, you farang look down on us bar girl bla bla bla. I replied, I think you should be more concerned with Thais over that. Silence...
 

 

haha, i remember one of my first thai girlfriends used to do uncomplimentary impersonations of 'issan' girls, how they walked, how they posed for photos... at the time i had no idea what 'issan' girls were but her impersonations were pretty humorous  ????

[bwpage3]

There are some Thai's that just don't like foreigners and nothing you can say or do will change that.

 

The may resent the fact they have to live next to you for that sole reason. 

 

Covering up a window because it was leaking?

 

There was probably a reason that window was there to begin with.

 

Anyways, if you own, the house and stay off their property, you should proceed without giving them a second thought.

 

Sounds like older Thai's who just don't want to live never to a foreigner and you will never change that.

[bwpage3]

5 hours ago, Bigz said:

I do wai to 'lower' class people when I feel appropriate out of respect. Obviously not going too silly by wai-ing everyone (including the cab driver) You however stated that no wai should be given for lower class or poorer people than you because it makes you look weak...this makes you an arrogant, ungrateful <deleted>. And don't forget that one day when you are weak those 'dalits' will remember how you've treated them. 

Your not Thai why Wai anyone?

[Kadilo]

7 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

Your not Thai why Wai anyone?

You’re not Thai so why pay sinsod?

 

Because you will say it shows respect and it’s a cultural thing. Well there’s your answer to your own question. 

Edited July 16, 2020 by Kadilo

[PatOngo]

8 hours ago, ravip said:

Where do you come from?

Edit

Waiting...

Twilight Zone. Khup Phom! ????

[ravip]

This thread has the 'best' advice on how to live in Thailand successfully. For that matter, in any foreign land. Super advice by experienced super expatriates?

[hotchilli]

As you have done already, send them a letter stating your intentions with the "cherry picker" and what work will be done, and time frame. Make sure you take all precautions to protect their property with either sheeting or whatever is needed. Tell the workers to be extra careful and avoid anything dropping.

Buy her some flowers & fruit, a bottle of something for the husband. and thank them for the understanding that this work was necessary.

Clean up after everything is done.

[KKr]

. They are both very unfriendly. 

did you try to figure out why they are unfriendly?
(could it be that your building is too close to the land border, or at four stories the building is too high and taking light away, are you running a business in a residential neighbourhood, etc. etc. ?)

In normal circumstances, one would put a bamboo scaffolding to get the work done.
However, from your description it seems the wall is less than two meters from the edge of the land, hence the need for a lifting device.
If so, that is indeed "no-good" and I'd recommend to resolve the issue.
last thing you need is the Land Office getting involved for building too close to the neighbours land.

I did involve the Landoffice to stop neighbours building too close, and that was very effective. 
Neighbours stopped construction and talking. ????

Edited July 17, 2020 by KKr

[KKr]

8 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Your not Thai why Wai anyone?

ever had someone refuse to shake hands with you when meeting ?

[1FinickyOne]

On 7/15/2020 at 8:40 PM, BritManToo said:

Never initiate a wai to someone of lesser social/financial/educational status than yourself.

They will see you as inferior or weak.

one of your young Brit ladies did a documentary in Phuket about the horrible life of maids there... this lady not only walked around wai-ing to children but got so many things wrong by having no idea about the culture... or that it wasn't Britain... and the maids did not seem to have a bad life.. though I never really had the concept that maids anywhere had a really great life... 

 

I don't know the children saw her as weak or inferior... but they sure looked confused.

[faraday]

1 minute ago, kenk24 said:

one of your young Brit ladies did a documentary in Phuket

That'll be Stacey Dooley, a drip by any other name.

[1FinickyOne]

3 minutes ago, faraday said:

That'll be Stacey Dooley, a drip by any other name.

ah... you saw it too? what did you think?

[KKr]

On 7/15/2020 at 8:40 PM, BritManToo said:

Never initiate a wai to someone of lesser social/financial/educational status than yourself.

They will see you as inferior or weak.

not if your Wai clearly states your perception of relative status of the interlocutor.

[faraday]

28 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

ah... you saw it too? what did you think?

Doe eyed Stacey presenting her western bias.

[bwpage3]

1 hour ago, KKr said:

ever had someone refuse to shake hands with you when meeting ?

Nope!

[KKr]

2 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

4 hours ago, KKr said:

ever had someone refuse to shake hands with you when meeting ?

Nope

 

Same with Wai.

As everywhere else, it is extremely rude to refuse greeting someone properly.

hands together, have thumb just below the lower jawbone is sufficiently friendly.
higher up are for defined segments of people.

[bbabythai]

21 hours ago, innosiem said:

don't forget to give her a gift
a simple fruit basket will do
mother in law could bring it????
then they could talk about you????

This morning the workers turned up and the machine as well on time. I had the MIL (wifes mother) as a backup and 2 policemen 500 baht each. So anyways, they started work and then she came out and saw the police and everyone else. It worked a dream. Our other (friendly) neighbour came to chat as well. He said to me he can walk around with my mother in law and talk to them. The thais took charge of the situation and I didnt go along. They came back and told me she is ok now. She is glad to have chatted about it. She said to the friendly neighbour 'is this your cousin'. He lied and just said yes... It was all sorted out in the end. And then after 1 hour the sun disappeared and heavy rain started and we have to finish it tomorrow. More money for the machine but Im just relieved that she is not blocking me fixing my building. 

 

cheers nad thanks

[bbabythai]

18 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

You wrote a letter, in your language or theirs?, they live in the same building, what was stopping to have a talk. You want something done which invades their privacy and ruined their property. You think writing a letter would be enough?

Get of your high horse and have a normal conversation between equals (actually , I am getting the idea they are way more civilized than you attitude wise). 

duh. do you think I would give them a letter in English. Ha ha

 

No, they dont live in the same building. Their residence kind of runs adjacent to ours. Nothing to do with one and other. The back of our building looks at their back yard. 

 

I dont own a horse by the way. cheers

[FritsSikkink]

10 hours ago, bbabythai said:

duh. do you think I would give them a letter in English. Ha ha

 

No, they dont live in the same building. Their residence kind of runs adjacent to ours. Nothing to do with one and other. The back of our building looks at their back yard. 

 

I dont own a horse by the way. cheers

Making a joke about your utter failure to solve your mess doesn't make you look smart.

[rumak]

 

 

The thais took charge of the situation and I didnt go along.  

 

nuff said

 

 

Edited July 17, 2020 by rumak

[bbabythai]

3 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Making a joke about your utter failure to solve your mess doesn't make you look smart.

It was  solved in the end. Dont think too much mr fish stink

[Andrew Dwyer]

Not the approach many would have used but sounds like it all ended well.

Glad you got it sorted without any ill feelings .

[steven100]

15 hours ago, bbabythai said:

He lied and just said yes...

a thai that lied .....   who'd of thunk that  !

[ravip]

On 7/16/2020 at 3:05 PM, chilli42 said:

You should follow the standard Thai cultural behavior in this instance.  Just do the work and ignore them.  If they hassle you get indignant and speak angrily.

Brilliant advice! Should apply internationally when you mess up the neighbours property!

[ravip]

Small bits of concrete must have fallen down. They have black mesh over the top of some plants/ trees and I did notice some minor spots of concrete down there. 

 

Just to recap...

'A' did some maintenance work on his property. During the course of the work, the neighbours 'B' property was messed up with cement droppings. Continuation of the work, it is obvious 'B's property will get more messed up.

 

• Before starting any work, should not 'A' evaluated how he could have avoided messing up 'B's property?
• If 'A' messed up 'B's property, isn't he obliged to clean the mess up? Is that not the most ethical thing to do?
• If it is obvious that continuation of the work will make more of a mess, should not 'A' take adequate precautions to avoid same?

It is incredible how such a simple and a very basic issue attracted such racist, demeaning, arrogant and insulting 'solutions'!

Who initiated this thoughtless mess?

Who are the racists here? Who are 'loose faces' here?

Are they the Thai individuals? I absolutely think NOT!

[Kadilo]

2 minutes ago, ravip said:

Small bits of concrete must have fallen down. They have black mesh over the top of some plants/ trees and I did notice some minor spots of concrete down there. 

 

Just to recap...

'A' did some maintenance work on his property. During the course of the work, the neighbours 'B' property was messed up with cement droppings. Continuation of the work, it is obvious 'B's property will get more messed up.

 

• Before starting any work, should not 'A' evaluated how he could have avoided messing up 'B's property?
• If 'A' messed up 'B's property, isn't he obliged to clean the mess up? Is that not the most ethical thing to do?
• If it is obvious that continuation of the work will make more of a mess, should not 'A' take adequate precautions to avoid same?

It is incredible how such a simple and a very basic issue attracted such racist, demeaning, arrogant and insulting 'solutions'!

Who initiated this thoughtless mess?

Who are the racists here? Who are 'loose faces' here?

Are they the Thai individuals? I absolutely think NOT!

Calm down it’s all done and dusted. ...............well not exactly dusted, more kinda cleaned.