Living Here Gets Better for Some and Worse for Others - Why

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, luckyluke said:

I am rather suspicious to the ones who claim they have it here "oh so good". 

I think it depends on the priority of these people.

I.e. I like (in no specific order) warm weather, friendly people, beaches, good food, pretty girls, no speed controls on every corner, relaxed atmosphere, service people like maids, no aggressive feminists, 24/7 opening hours, affordable prices in the middle of the city in high-rise buildings, 7/11 on every corner and and and.

I don't know too many countries but I don't know any country which is better considering my priorities.

 

If I would look i.e. for museums, affordable schools, strict law and order, etc. then Thailand would obviously be not optimal. But at least for me that are no priorities.

If someone has a couple of school aged kids then I can understand when they live i.e. in Europe.

 

[JTXR]

There has been a lot of psychological research that indicates that different people have different basal levels of happiness.  If something really great happens (winning the lottery for example) they're much happier for a while, then they adjust and over time revert to their basal level, whatever that was.  If something really terrible happens (losing a limb for example) they're very unhappy, even depressed, for a while but then adjust and over time more or less revert to their basal level of happiness.

 

Also a lot of research that indicates if you expect something outside yourself to happen in order to be happy, you're going to be disappointed.  Happiness usually comes from accepting and learning to how to be happy with what you have, whatever that is.  There are endless examples of people who are generally happy people even though they are poor, or sick, or have suffered a loss.  And endless examples of wealthy, healthy people who are constantly complaining and miserable.

 

That said, there actually are practical techniques for improving your basal level of happiness.  Look up some of the recent serious work in "positive psychology."

[Logosone]

1 minute ago, Madgee said:

I'm quite content with my simple life in a fairly quiet town suburb. Meet up with some friends now and then, potter around in my little garden and keep abreast of local and world news. 

Got to admit, things like this do p!ss me off ........... 

 

Now I'm going to have a long chat with my Thai dog and let him know how I feel!     ????

I actually quite like this Thai sense of cohesion and national pride.

 

When that general was saying no vaccine against hatred of your country I know just what he meant. Back at home so many people literally dislike their own country they trash the place.

 

Thai people's sense of pride, national pride, their graceful manners those are all good. Of course that can spill over into exclusion of foreigners, that's a pan Asian thing, with Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, some of them anyway, thinking foreigners should not mingle with us. Of course you get that in Europe as well.

 

For me I don't see dislike of foreigners as a problem, more the bad air, driving, lack of education, no English, lose dogs, the usual. That's not being negative, that's just being realistic. 

 

 

[spidermike007]

This is an entirely subjective topic, of course. But some of us live very good lives here. Some of us have been fortunate enough to find an outstanding woman, who is delightful to be around, on a daily basis, always has our back, and is fun, smart, and lovely. For me, that likelihood of finding that back in the US, would be very low. So, that is a big factor for me.

 

The second factor is just the quality of life. Sure, I miss alot of the culture back home. The theatre, independent film (which I can download here with no issues at all, and a super fast 550mbps fiber optic connection, at under 800 baht per month!), stand up comedy, live jazz, etc. But I have a lovely home that I rent, for about 10% of what I would pay in California, I live very well on an income which is not huge, have access to great health care, at a tiny fraction of what it costs in the US, and do not have to put up with alot of the aggravation that I had to when I lived back there. I would not want to move back there, unless I was either being paid a million dollars a year, or the situation was dire.

 

Sure, Thailand has changed. My first trip here was in 1976! It was so much different than now. The politics here are absolutely regressive. The army is horrendous. Will that ever improve? I think so. I think the youth will eventually oust them, as they are virtually useless to Thai society, with the exception of protecting the elite. those in power and the super wealthy. But alot of things here have improved since then. The infrastructure here is quite good. Sure they could use a high speed rail. That would be amazing. Hopefully it will happen. The whole world is different now. The whole planet is being affected by a greatly expanding population, inflation, environmental issues, politics, and congestion. So, we are going to experience some of that no matter where we are. All I know, is that every day I wake up, I am very glad to be here, very glad to be with the woman I am with, and thankful for my life. Would I feel the same way in the US? I seriously doubt it. Most of my friends back in the US, say they would trade positions with me, in a heartbeat, if they could. I believe them. And I feel for them. The quality of life where I came from is a pale shadow of what it used to be. No thanks.

 

 

And what about the standard of living? Thailand is still reasonable. It used to be cheap. Has not been cheap for a long time. But, it is still reasonable. I know people who pay 10,000 baht a month for newer 3 bedroom houses in nice towns. In major cities in the US? $2000-3800 a month. That is 120,000 baht!

I had my motorbike seat recently redone on my scooter. 400 baht. A friend of mine had similar work done in the US. $275.

 

I recently had a guy come over and insulate my ceiling. I bought the insulation and paid him 2000 baht for labor. In the US? $500 and up.

I recently had an electrician do some work on the house. Nearly a full day of work. Paid him 1000 baht. In the US? $500 and up.

 

An oil change for my scooter costs me 200 baht, with Castrol oil. In the US? $50 and up. 

 

When I travel here I stay in nice four star hotels in Bangkok. 1800-2000 baht. And now those same rooms are 1200 baht! In the US? $130 for a crappy motel! $200 and up for a nice room.

 

I eat well here. In a smaller town you can get a three course meal for 200-250 baht. In the US? 2000 baht and up, plus tax and a nearly mandatory 15% tip.

 

I visit the emergency room here to visit a specialist, and with x-rays I am out the door for 2000 baht, at a private hospital. In the US? $300-3000 for a visit to a clinic or emergency room. 

 

Friends of mine, who are single, enjoy the company of a young, beautiful woman for a couple of hours, for 2500 baht. In the US? $800 an hour now for a moderately attractive woman with alot of attitude and anything but a light heart! 

 

I could go on and on, all day long. I live at a level here, that I would never be able to live at, in the US, in most of Europe, in Oz, or Canada. Yes, the higher baht is an annoyance. And yes things are more expensive than they used to be. But, it is very relative.

 

There is one more consideration. No matter where we go, we still have to contend with ourselves, our attitude, our issues and our minds. So, some will always be seeking greener pastures. Nothing wrong with that. But, it does not insure fulfillment.

Edited August 7, 2020 by spidermike007

[OneMoreFarang]

19 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

he says that he definitely doesn't want to be back in his home country ( Germany) but clearly isn't happy here either. We all feel sorry for him, but we don't know what his friends can do to help. 

Are you sure he wants help?

Just imagine for a second he would be in an alternative happy world. Would he be happy? For how long?

There are many people out there who want to constantly complain and maybe they say life would be so much better if this or that would change. But in reality they want to be miserable and they want to complain. They don't want real help. They want people to listen to their daily "I am unhappy. I would be happy if only..." Same same next day ad infinitum.

 

If you like buy this great book from Paul Watzlawick for him:

In German: Anleitung zum Unglücklichsein

In English: The Situation Is Hopeless, But Not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness

 

Maybe it will give him some direction.

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

This is an entirely subjective topic, of course. But some of us live very good lives here. Some of us have been fortunate enough to find an outstanding woman, who is delightful to be around, on a daily basis, always has our back, and is fun, smart, and lovely. For me, that likelihood of finding that back in the US, would be very low. So, that is a big factor for me.

 

The second factor is just the quality of life. Sure, I miss alot of the culture back home. The theatre, independent film (which I can download here with no issues at all, and a super fast 550mbps fiber optic connection, at under 800 baht per month!), stand up comedy, live jazz, etc. But I have a lovely home that I rent, for about 10% of what I would pay in California, I live very well on an income which is not huge, have access to great health care, at a tiny fraction of what it costs in the US, and do not have to put up with alot of the aggravation that I had to when I lived back there. I would not want to move back there, unless I was either being paid a million dollars a year, or the situation was dire.

 

Sure, Thailand has changed. My first trip here was in 1976! It was so much different than now. The politics here are absolutely regressive. The army is horrendous. Will that ever improve? I think so. I think the youth will eventually oust them, as they are virtually useless to Thai society, with the exception of protecting the elite. those in power and the super wealthy. But alot of things here have improved since then. The infrastructure here is quite good. Sure they could use a high speed rail. That would be amazing. Hopefully it will happen. The whole world is different now. The whole planet is being affected by a greatly expanding population, inflation, environmental issues, politics, and congestion. So, we are going to experience some of that no matter where we are. All I know, is that every day I wake up, I am very glad to be here, very glad to be with the woman I am with, and thankful for my life. Would I feel the same way in the US? I seriously doubt it. Most of my friends back in the US, say they would trade positions with me, in a heartbeat, if they could. I believe them. And I feel for them. The quality of life where I came from is a pale shadow of what it used to be. No thanks.

 

 

And what about the standard of living? Thailand is still reasonable. It used to be cheap. Has not been cheap for a long time. But, it is still reasonable. I know people who pay 10,000 baht a month for newer 3 bedroom houses in nice towns. In major cities in the US? $2000-3800 a month. That is 120,000 baht!

I had my motorbike seat recently redone on my scooter. 400 baht. A friend of mine had similar work done in the US. $275.

 

I recently had a guy come over and insulate my ceiling. I bought the insulation and paid him 2000 baht for labor. In the US? $500 and up.

I recently had an electrician do some work on the house. Nearly a full day of work. Paid him 1000 baht. In the US? $500 and up.

 

An oil change for my scooter costs me 200 baht, with Castrol oil. In the US? $50 and up. 

 

When I travel here I stay in nice four star hotels in Bangkok. 1800-2000 baht. And now those same rooms are 1200 baht! In the US? $130 for a crappy motel! $200 and up for a nice room.

 

I eat well here. In a smaller town you can get a three course meal for 200-250 baht. In the US? 2000 baht and up, plus tax and a nearly mandatory 15% tip.

 

I visit the emergency room here to visit a specialist, and with x-rays I am out the door for 2000 baht, at a private hospital. In the US? $300-3000 for a visit to a clinic or emergency room. 

 

Friends of mine, who are single, enjoy the company of a young, beautiful woman for a couple of hours, for 2500 baht. In the US? $800 an hour now for a moderately attractive woman with alot of attitude and anything but a light heart! 

 

I could go on and on, all day long. I live at a level here, that I would never be able to live at, in the US, in most of Europe, in Oz, or Canada. Yes, the higher baht is an annoyance. And yes things are more expensive than they used to be. But, it is very relative.

 

There is one more consideration. No matter where we go, we still have to contend with ourselves, our attitude, our issues and our minds. So, some will always be seeking greener pastures. Nothing wrong with that. But, it does not insure fulfillment.

Great post!

It's probably the only long post which I read on TVF from beginning to end and I like what you wrote.

Carpe Diem!

[BritManToo]

27 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

If someone has a couple of school aged kids then I can understand when they live i.e. in Europe.

No, I've got a couple of school age kids, they're both happy here, and so am I.

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Some of us have been fortunate enough to find an outstanding woman, who is delightful to be around, on a daily basis, always has our back, and is fun, smart, and lovely.

I've found several ...... why limit yourself to one, when there are so many hungry women around in Thailand.

[CorpusChristie]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

No, I've got a couple of school age kids, they're both happy here, and so am I.

Shes your wifes daughter and shes 23 years old, hardly a "school age kid"

[cyril sneer]

it gets worse if stay in the same area too long

[worgeordie]

"Living Here Gets Better for Some and Worse for Others - Why"

Because that's life,with all its ups and downs,you just have got

to make sure there's more ups.

 

regards worgeordie

[Olmate]

54 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

Big C and Foodland- living the dream ????

Guessing you grow your own (rice that is)! By the look of most they are pretty content with their lot.

[OneMoreFarang]

21 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

No, I've got a couple of school age kids, they're both happy here, and so am I.

I wouldn't be able to afford a decent school even for one kid in Thailand.

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, cyril sneer said:

it gets worse if stay in the same area too long

It seems that depends on the area.

I live in Bangkok in the same area (less than 1km distance) since 25 years. And I still like it.

[CorpusChristie]

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've found several ...... why limit yourself to one, when there are so many hungry women around in Thailand.

He was talking about real proper long term  relationships , NOT two hour relationships in short time hotels ????

[Timwin]

Older Brits and Germans especially seem to be most unhappy. ???? They have this idealized version of their home country in their heads and continuously compare Thailand to that fiction. On the other hand Thais and Asians in general are not the most open people to foreigners and can be quite xenophobic.

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, Pilotman said:

For me, the longer I stay here, the more comfortable  I get.  Yes it has frustrations, but it is clear to me that I am in the right place, living the right life for me.

Great topic and well done as it opens up how we all feel here.

 

I moved here 5 years ago after many years of planning it my wife who lived with me in Sydney for 9 years.

 

To be honest we were fine until the likes of the TM30 thing started, that left a bad taste in my mouth as I am sure it did others coming from a free country, then we had the Covid lockdown and f course our favorite Minister Anutin and his xenophobic comments, suffice to say one would agree that I and other farangs didn't really feel welcome here, and I have had no illusions about the need to feel welcome anywhere, but that was about as much as I was prepared to take, albeit it was a wake up call for me, that said, I know deep down that Thai's I have met, welcome farangs, they are not as xenophobic, moreso curious about us, not really sure of us.

 

Over the years there have been many frustrations, the biggest of us is the smoke from burning of sugarcane and rice fields when it's "the burning season" no need to go into them all, you get it, day to day stuff on the roads, police corruption etc etc, that said there was a lot of build up, and I have to say we were ready to make the move back to Sydney with the family, (plan B) a few year early of the pension age, all I had to do was book the tickets, and then I pressed the stop button and said to myself, hang on a second, we planned for this for years, we built a big house to live in with all the comforts we want, I don't work, as I planned my retirement at 55 years of age with no regrets, we are financially very comfortable and I have been making an income from tax free investments which meet our monthly budget and some for the past 5 years, so that we have lived here for free.

 

Having put a stop on the early exit plan and having changed my mind set as to the way I see things here, has so far paid off, albeit it it's not "the burning season" yet, so we are enjoying the fresh country air vs the polluted city life, no traffic on the roads vs congested roads in the cities, lush greenery around everywhere as opposed to brick and concrete buildings surrounding us.

 

Thailand is not perfect, it has a long way to go, but it does have that kind of freedom which attracted all of us to Thailand, plus the affordability of living here, even though the cost of living has gone up and the $ down along with other currencies.

 

Once you get your mindset right which is always being fine tuned, and don't allow the s-h-i-t-t-y day to day stuff and that loss of face stuff get in your head, it's all good, it's positive, and I think I the better for it so far, and hope that I can keep it that way because the last thing I would want would be to return to a house 1/3rd the size of this, expensive real estate and or rent back home, have neighbours and buildings all around us, traffic, police cameras, speed cameras, random breath tests, parking cops, and probably a higher cost of living, especially the beer 

 

I am still working on the wife, as she keeps telling me daily she hates Thailand, and I understand her frustrations, but she will change her mind set as I did ????

 

[JWRC]

I think this is just the state of a persons mind. Some people see the glass as half full, others half empty. Of course there is always boredom, it's up to the individual to address that with whatever appeals to them. A family member who is Australian, travels with 3 Englishmen to meetings, usually a 2 - 3 hour car trip, well he was travelling with them, but he cannot stand the constant whinging and complaining about anything and everything to the point where he just drives himself now. I have noticed that some breeds of people are prone to this negativity, sad really. Then again some people get in a rut, a lot of the time they don't even know they are in it. If it was me I would be having a word with the bloke, he probably won't appreciate it, then again it might make him take a fresh look at his situation. At the end of the day, these people are not really happy anywhere as they will always find something that doesn't suit them.

[Logosone]

20 minutes ago, Timwin said:

Older Brits and Germans especially seem to be most unhappy. ???? They have this idealized version of their home country in their heads and continuously compare Thailand to that fiction. On the other hand Thais and Asians in general are not the most open people to foreigners and can be quite xenophobic.

It's a terrible thing. I lived outside Germany for many years and had built up this idealised version of Germany. When I returned, from a tax haven, and experienced the reality, it was good, but it was not as good as the ideal. So I left again, to Thailand this time.

 

I like Thailand, I like the people's friendliness and graceful manners, the food, the shopping, the massages but there are things you discover when you live here that are not altogether ideal.

 

The driving. The air. The dogs. The noise. The lack of education. Don't love the language. Still, no vandalism, no ice cold winters, no oppressive policing. It's not perfect by any means. But Thailand still has a lot going for it. 

Edited August 7, 2020 by Logosone

[jadee]

I agree 100% with this: 

Quote

At the end of the day, these people are not really happy anywhere as they will always find something that doesn't suit them.

That's exactly right - it is how it is and it's how you deal with it that makes all the difference. Sometimes all it takes it to meet new people or old buddies to get a different perspective. Or a trip back to your home country to realize the positives/negatives of Thailand vs wherever you are from. 

[CorpusChristie]

6 minutes ago, JWRC said:

but he cannot stand the constant whinging and complaining about anything and everything to the point where he just drives himself now. I have noticed that some breeds of people are prone to this negativity, sad really. Then again some people get in a rut, a lot of the time they don't even know they are in it. If it was me I would be having a word with the bloke, he probably won't appreciate it, then again it might make him take a fresh look at his situation.

Maybe some people dont realise they are doing it , moaning and complaining just becomes normal and they only realise they are like that when someone points it out to them 

[CGW]

2 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

Happiness doesn't come from outside. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. If you are not comfortable with who you are, it will make no difference where you are, what you are doing, or what you have. You will still be unhappy.

If you ARE happy in yourself, it won't make that much difference where you go or what you do. Happiness comes from within. Sure, there may be hard times, unhappy instances, depressing situations, but a person who is satisfied with themselves will realize those things are transitory, and satisfaction with life continues.

Reminds me of some advice I was given many years ago by, who to me at that time was an "old fella"!

"You gotta love yourself" he stated, as there will be times when you need too"

So true, "loving oneself" isn't always easy though, you have to have values and principles that you stick too regardless of what others say and think!

Being kind to women, children and animals helps also! ????

[Skallywag]

LOL - just change "Here" to "Anywhere" and there is you answer.  Some people will always think the grass is greener or life "was" better somewhere else, etc..etc..  I laugh at stories from those who claim everything is better or was better somewhere else.  They do not even accept that those other "places" have changed as well as the fact they were younger back then. 

Stay positive and make moments in your life that are memorable.  It is that easy.

Living Here Gets Better for Some and Worse for Others - Why

By Pilotman, 

Edited August 7, 2020 by Skallywag

[opalred]

i look back /the first few years i was like a australian wombat eats roots and leaves/then found a perfert women here 10 yrs marrieed now and will die here /dont want to go back to oz even have children and grand children there/ i would be stressed 

[rumak]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

At 90 there's not a lot left to life that isn't negative.

Saw a 72 year old chap at the CM transport office earlier this week, couldn't walk, couldn't stand up on his own, was a bit deaf .... what's he got to be positive about?

Was that you ?   I thought someone said something, but i wasn't sure

[Skallywag]

2 minutes ago, opalred said:

then found a perfect women here

Good to know.  Is she willing to be cloned? PM me if she says yes ????????????????

[madmitch]

There are days when I regret locating here 17 years ago, there are days when I'm glad I'm not back in the UK. I'll never get it right!

 

But I want my daughter to go to the UK for a better future; sixth form, university and employment. And I'd go with her for the first three years. That's when I'll really find out where I want to live out my remaining years

[RichardColeman]

4 hours ago, Pilotman said:

He cannot afford to go back and live in his home country.

Is he one of the foolish ones that sold their homes to finance a life in Thailand ? 

[BritManToo]

45 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wouldn't be able to afford a decent school even for one kid in Thailand.

I couldn't afford a decent school in the UK either.

Mine (all six) have always gone to government schools and done pretty well out of them.

 

But if you're going to whinge about poor schooling ......

How many Aussies posting on this forum don't appear to know lose and looser are different words with different meanings?

And back in the UK I used to teach in council estate high schools that couldn't recruit full time teachers for more than a month or two because they were so awful. Thai government schools were paradise in comparison.

Edited August 7, 2020 by BritManToo

[Hank Gunn]

2 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

Happiness doesn't come from outside. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. If you are not comfortable with who you are, it will make no difference where you are, what you are doing, or what you have. You will still be unhappy.

If you ARE happy in yourself, it won't make that much difference where you go or what you do. Happiness comes from within. Sure, there may be hard times, unhappy instances, depressing situations, but a person who is satisfied with themselves will realize those things are transitory, and satisfaction with life continues.

 

 

 

In other words:

”No matter where you go, there you are.” 
-Buckaroo Bonzai