Paying for company daily or monthly - is there a difference?

[sungod]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

+ all legit expenses.

She gets a nice house to live in, car and m/c to drive, children to love her.

And no longer lives the life of an alcoholic 'tweaker' working in a bar.

Her family are over the moon that she now has the facade of a legit housewife.

Even if her 'husband' is an elderly foreigner.

You are all heart ????

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, sungod said:

You are all heart ????

I'm not sure single women have that happy a life.

No matter how strong or independent they are.

...... and she can still play with her phone if she wants.

[sungod]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

...... and she can still play with her phone if she wants.

Show her how much you love her, buy her a 'fast charger'!!!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, sidjameson said:

I think your friend is playing a slight of hand on himself.

If you see women, sex, money and love as a Venn diagram along a spectrum hahaha then paying the bar every night no matter how you slice it, he is a punter and she a sex worker.. If you start from the other end of that spectrum; the wife who shares a life and bank account with her husband then giving an ex bargirl a housekeeping budget that includes money for her can feel like something far closer to a "normal" relationship.

Of course it's delusional on his part, he is paying for company that would never look twice at him if there wasnt financial compensation. But we all get thru life with a few fantasies replacing the harder to swallow reality don't we.

 

Thank you, that is a good explanation.

 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Of course it's delusional on his part, he is paying for company that would never look twice at him if there wasnt financial compensation. But we all get thru life with a few fantasies replacing the harder to swallow reality don't we.

Would any woman have ever looked twice at us without some financial compensation?

Without the money, I'm thinking they'd choose cats every time.

[Dart12]

13 hours ago, sidjameson said:

 

Of course it's delusional on his part, he is paying for company that would never look twice at him if there wasnt financial compensation. But we all get thru life with a few fantasies replacing the harder to swallow reality don't we.

 

I had a short, little, balding  friend in college who was loaded money wise.  Even bought himself a club in a major college city.

Someone tried to insult him by saying the girls. were only with. him for his money.   He didn't mind at all. 

HIs thought process, which is valid, was "Hey, they are with Tom cause he's good looking, Brian because he plays football, Jack cause he's funny.  My thing is money.  At least my thing isn't gonna fade.  And I seem to be doing just a bit better than any of them in the woman department."

So, yeah, who cares why if she always answers when she is supposed to.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Now he is looking for another girl. He has already one girl in mind. She told him something like: Pay my bar and I will visit you.

But he doesn't want to do that.

He wants a monthly contract with her. He does not want to be one of those guys who pay girls for an hour or a night.

He doesn't get to make the rules.

She will be considering that if it doesn't work out she will want to return to the bar.

He needs to try for a week at daily rates first- sometimes familiarity lets them think they can stop trying. If he wants to make it longer term he'll have to pay to take her out of the bar long time. IMO forget about "contracts". He can't make her do what he wants or stay longer than she wants to. His only option is to ask her to leave if it doesn't work out.

Anyway, still use a condom or risk a pregnancy.

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I'm not sure single women have that happy a life.

No matter how strong or independent they are.

...... and she can still play with her phone if she wants.

Women can survive being solo better than men. They also get better solo sex as it lasts longer than 30 seconds.

[thaibeachlovers]

15 hours ago, sidjameson said:

I think your friend is playing a slight of hand on himself.

If you see women, sex, money and love as a Venn diagram along a spectrum hahaha then paying the bar every night no matter how you slice it, he is a punter and she a sex worker.. If you start from the other end of that spectrum; the wife who shares a life and bank account with her husband then giving an ex bargirl a housekeeping budget that includes money for her can feel like something far closer to a "normal" relationship.

Of course it's delusional on his part, he is paying for company that would never look twice at him if there wasnt financial compensation. But we all get thru life with a few fantasies replacing the harder to swallow reality don't we.

 

I was never delusional about it, but the sex was better than with the western woman I loved before.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

For me it also doesn't make sense.

The amount of money for the bar is not the issue for him. It's the principle. 

He is willing to pay a lot - but only for a monthly (and longer) contract.

I don't see a problem to rent for a day or a week before doing the same for a month. But for him that seems to be a big difference. 

If he can't accept the rules, than he's going to be frustrated. She's no fool.

[Henryford]

The 10k might seem a low amount but if she is living with you long term there are many more expenses. Food, clothes, drink, make up, medical, holidays, phones, motorbikes (maybe) etc etc. These amount to much more than 10k. My arrangement is that i pay her no "salary" at all but pay all these other expenses, as you would for a real wife/gf.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, Henryford said:

My arrangement is that i pay her no "salary" at all but pay all these other expenses, as you would for a real wife/gf.

You've had a 'live-in' wife/gf that didn't expect spending money as part of the deal?

[BritManToo]

28 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I was never delusional about it, but the sex was better than with the western woman I loved before.

Yes, I always found it odd that the sex I paid for was always better than the sex I was given for love.

[Dart12]

15 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yes, I always found it odd that the sex I paid for was always better than the sex I was given for love.

Did you forget a word?

Yes, I always found it odd that the sex I paid for was always better than the sex I was WITHHELD for love.

Makes it less odd ????

[wwest5829]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away ... OK, OK ... when I first came to Thailand I was a fat boy in a candy store. I am sure many here can identify. I tried being with girls I liked when the mood hit and found that Thai girls really treat you great ... never mind, yes the money thing is definitely there ... but still. When I retired here, I continued to test the waters. Taking different girls as the fancy suited. Then made arrangement for a uni student to come down from Chiang Rai on the weekends. Then contracted monthly for a girl from a bar to "service" me 2-3 times a week. But after being here 8 months I found I really was happier having a steady one lady with me ... for trips but even to go to the mall, have coffee, etc. So, was with my ex gf 4 years, she then had to go take care of family ... no good for me. I now am with the best girl I have ever had in my life. We have been together 3 years already and we are planning to formalize by marrying within a year's time. At 73, I am well pleased to be with a young Thai girl. 555 She, of course sees herself as old. 26 years age difference still brings a smile to me. Best of luck to all in the LOS.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Henryford said:

The 10k might seem a low amount but if she is living with you long term there are many more expenses. Food, clothes, drink, make up, medical, holidays, phones, motorbikes (maybe) etc etc. These amount to much more than 10k. My arrangement is that i pay her no "salary" at all but pay all these other expenses, as you would for a real wife/gf.

I did the same when I met my gf. But at that time I was still relative young. Now, many years later, I am older and she is older and we are still together and I pay "only" the cost of life.

But I am pretty sure if I would be single again and if I would look again for a pretty young gf then likely my charm won't be enough to convince her to stay with me. But I think that is fair and not uncommon around the world. Only in Thailand that company is a lot cheaper then in many other countries.

[Dart12]

7 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I did the same when I met my gf. But at that time I was still relative young. Now, many years later, I am older and she is older and we are still together and I pay "only" the cost of life.

 

I was quite curious if, or when, these agreements morphed into a traditional relationship.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 minutes ago, Dart12 said:

I was quite curious if, or when, these agreements morphed into a traditional relationship.

Is there a real difference?

If money would be the main part then there wouldn't be so many dramas when the relationship, or should I say business deal, ends. And there wouldn't be any drama if the guy who pays also decides to pay somewhere else for an hour or two.

It seem there are many dramas, just like so called normal relationships.

[Dart12]

I don't paint the picture bad or good.  Whatever makes people happy.  And if both parties are happy....well thats a huge success. 

I'm just fascinated by an outside the box arrangement by western standards.

I would expect though at at like 2 years or so feelings happen and it becomes more traditional if still in agreement, or leads towards marriage and kids?

 

[Dart12]

Also sounds much simpler to begin these types of 'arranged relationships' than the tedious game back in the states.

Edited October 20, 2020 by Dart12

[scubascuba3]

13 minutes ago, Dart12 said:

Also sounds much simpler to begin these types of 'arranged relationships' than the tedious game back in the states.

Many of these girlfriends will have secret Thai boyfriends, well that's what the girls tell me

[OneMoreFarang]

15 minutes ago, Dart12 said:

Also sounds much simpler to begin these types of 'arranged relationships' than the tedious game back in the states.

"I want you, let's go."

Yes, I like the simplicity.

[rumak]

On 10/19/2020 at 11:02 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

In this specific case the guy has more than enough money. He wants a pretty young (and legal) girl who takes care of him and makes him happy. It almost doesn't matter how much she charges for her company.

He is happy with bargirls. But he does not want to pay per day. He wants a friend who he pays per month?!

maybe someone has already asked......... but i don't understand.     By the month means she is a live in ?   that would be my interpretation.      More than a few guys have various arrangements where they live with someone and pay a "salary".

From what i understand 10k is a pretty good deal , but then BM2 is a hansum old man.   Or, lets say the more "charm" and better

appearance (withstanding age) and language skills one has.... the better the prospects .

sorry, off base a bit... but again,  he wants a "full time" ?   not too many want that as they like their freedom, ya know

[blackcab]

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

For me it also doesn't make sense.

The amount of money for the bar is not the issue for him. It's the principle. 

He is willing to pay a lot - but only for a monthly (and longer) contract.

I don't see a problem to rent for a day or a week before doing the same for a month. But for him that seems to be a big difference. 

 

Some people do not want a 'relationship' with a bar girl. Quite often this is because of what that relationship would make them, i.e. a punter.

 

Having a permanent live in girlfriend can be rationalised as a 'normal' relationship. The money he gives her each month could be viewed as a similar type of deal that his parents might have had; the man gives the woman money to keep the house, etc.

 

You don't see the difference between daily or monthly because you don't think the same way as your friend. You are probably straight-talking and say things as you see them. Perhaps his actions are a way to get around his ability to accept the situation for exactly what it is. Perhaps what he really wants out of life is a good quality, stable relationship with someone who cares.

 

If this is the case then you won't change the situation and neither should you try to. He is trying to get what he wants within the constraints of his own personality and upbringing. If it makes him happy, and no one is getting harmed, then why not.

[cjinchiangrai]

22 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

BF seem pretty inexpensive to me strange he has an issue with it.

You can usually buy a girl out of a bar for a month or any extended period.  

Most will give a reduced price for longer periods.  My friend in Pattaya recently took a girl for a month just to see if she was the girl for him.  She was not but at least he found out rather then making an even longer commitment.

 

Buying the girl out of the bar is a scam. No such thing. She can stop working anytime she likes for free.

 

The deal is not clear, is she expected to be available 24/7 or just hang out when she is not working? It all seems weird to me.

 

There are plenty of more suitable candidates outside of the bar industry, that would actually care about him.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, blackcab said:

Having a permanent live in girlfriend can be rationalised as a 'normal' relationship. The money he gives her each month could be viewed as a similar type of deal that his parents might have had; the man gives the woman money to keep the house, etc.

My misses Thai brother hands his entire wage packet over to his Thai wife (unopened) every month.

If he's been a good boy, she will open it and give him 500bht.

Nobody ever questions their relationship.

[BritManToo]

41 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Many of these girlfriends will have secret Thai boyfriends, well that's what the girls tell me

It's never worried me.

As long as she's home by dark, and there to get my kid ready for school and drop him off in the morning, I'm not bothered where she is or what she's doing in the day. In fact it's nice to have my house to myself most of the day.

[473geo]

The girls are keeping the safety net of the bar, friends, who may well have helped them when times were tough, and from others experience no doubt expect to be discarded

 

If the guy cannot accept bar girls will at least for a while maintain links to what they know, he is not very bright. why would 'rentals' not keep an escape route open by have the guy pay a small amount to the bar. Which in turn may well assist in keeping their friends in employment.

[473geo]

59 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Many of these girlfriends will have secret Thai boyfriends, well that's what the girls tell me

Even corporate slaves get time outside work to have fun, part of life, trick is to move past the employer/employee status, not everybody has the skills and ability required to achieve that ????

[holy cow cm]

The problem might be getting the klingons out after a day or so. Sometimes you might need some photon torpedo's.