Irresponsible mother

[justaphase]

The mother of my 2 kids is not sending them to school. They are 9 and 7 and have never been to school apart from the 1 year I looked after them by myself. We have been separated (never married) for 4 years. She also hasn't done the ID card for either. Is there any way I can sort this sorted out? I see them often and they tell me they just play their tablets all day long (and all night until midnight) I am not registered as the father, but am able to get a DNA test done, go to court or whatever is required. I have plenty of funds.

[Some guy]

You need to get a child legitimization document that legally establishes you as the father. You will get it at the district office that matches the location of the house book they are in. Then you can get some custody rights. Get a good Thai family lawyer.

[CorpusChristie]

Sit down and talk to the Mother and ask her why She isnt sending the Children to School, remind her that shes legally required to send the kids to school and threaten her with legal action if she doesnt send the kids to school .

   Why are you taking action now , you should have taken action years ago , your kids will be behind with their education and its likely that they cannot read or write and they may never catch up 

[saakura]

Very responsible father?

[FritsSikkink]

What about your responsibilities as a father, what have you done so far to solve this?

[lovethai123]

On 11/8/2020 at 6:29 PM, CorpusChristie said:

 shes legally required to send the kids to school and threaten her with legal action if she doesnt send the kids to school .

   

legally required? Really? Is it Thailand we are talking about? 

 

On 11/11/2020 at 10:07 AM, FritsSikkink said:

What about your responsibilities as a father, what have you done so far to solve this?

He sees them often !!  They have tablets. May be he bought it for them. 

 

Education is important even for Thais. Please consult a lawyer. Get yourself registered as a father. I hope some day your kids will graduate from a University and will make you feel proud. But for that they need your support , love and guidance and a lot of money off course. 

 

Be careful with the money. You never know the money you are giving for the children is being spent on lotteries by your ex's parents. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by lovethai123

[FritsSikkink]

10 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

legally required? Really? Is it Thailand we are talking about? 

 

He sees them often !!  They have tablets. May be he bought it for them. 

 

Education is important even for Thais. Please consult a lawyer. Get yourself registered as a father. I hope some day your kids will graduate from a University and will make you feel proud. But for that they need your support , love and guidance and a lot of money off course. 

 

Be careful with the money. You never know the money you are giving for the children is being spent on lotteries by your ex's parents. 

Yes, legally required. Don't you know any law here?

[ChaiyaTH]

I would say, let the show go on a little bit and started taking evidence of this. As that will help you really really well in court. They have to go to school by law. From 7 years old the kids have a voice in court too.

Edited November 16, 2020 by ChaiyaTH

[lovethai123]

10 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Yes, legally required. Don't you know any law here?

Well if there is a legal requirement then why do the schools charge any fee at all. 

My girl has a baby from her former Thai "husband" and I know she spends about 15000 yearly on fee, books clothes etc. 

 

That is about one month salary of many thais.  Guess my country is better. Education is free for all in government schools. Free food, free clothes , books etc. 

 

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

Well if there is a legal requirement then why do the schools charge any fee at all. 

My girl has a baby from her former Thai "husband" and I know she spends about 15000 yearly on fee, books clothes etc. 

 

That is about one month salary of many thais.  Guess my country is better. Education is free for all in government schools. Free food, free clothes , books etc. 

 

You probably mean, you pay her 15000 a year which she says is for school. 

[billd766]

51 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You probably mean, you pay her 15000 a year which she says is for school. 

You might find that the money is spent on books, uniforms, school transport, pocket money, perhaps the school offers English language courses etc. None of this comes free.

 

My son is in M4 now and he has 3 sets of white shirts and black shorts, 4 sets of blue shirts and track suit bottoms, 2 sets of black plimsolls (swaps every day in the wet season so he has a dry set to wear daily), 2 sets of white sport shoes, Scout uniform left over from last year, Army cadet uniform cost 2,900 baht. About 10 pairs of white socks and he manages to wear holes in a set every couple of weeks (25 baht a pair).

[FritsSikkink]

6 hours ago, billd766 said:

You might find that the money is spent on books, uniforms, school transport, pocket money, perhaps the school offers English language courses etc. None of this comes free.

 

My son is in M4 now and he has 3 sets of white shirts and black shorts, 4 sets of blue shirts and track suit bottoms, 2 sets of black plimsolls (swaps every day in the wet season so he has a dry set to wear daily), 2 sets of white sport shoes, Scout uniform left over from last year, Army cadet uniform cost 2,900 baht. About 10 pairs of white socks and he manages to wear holes in a set every couple of weeks (25 baht a pair).

I have a girl so no Army stuff, but it does add up. Pocket money isn't really a school expense but they do buy some sweets / food.

[lovethai123]

On 11/16/2020 at 9:14 PM, billd766 said:

(25 baht a pair).

expensive, buy on lazada.  like 2 dozens. lazada has the socks for about 7-10 baht. App can be used in thai as well as english. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by lovethai123

[lovethai123]

On 11/16/2020 at 9:14 PM, billd766 said:

None of this comes free.

 

 

Where I live, all that comes for free in the government run schools. 

[Meat Pie 47]

8 minutes ago, lovethai123 said:

Where I live, all that comes for free in the government run schools. 

Tell me your beautiful country then

[lovethai123]

Just now, Meat Pie 47 said:

Tell me your beautiful country then

The one GB owes $45 trillion as reparations. 

[bodga]

On 11/8/2020 at 7:59 PM, CorpusChristie said:

Sit down and talk to the Mother and ask her why

Dont even waste  your  time, they dont listen

[billd766]

11 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

Where I live, all that comes for free in the government run schools. 

I assume that from your response that the government where you live supplies all of this for free.

 

You may find that in your country the basic tax and VAT will be a lot higher to provide the extra funds for all government schools.

 

I repeat what I said earlier. Nothing comes for free. Somebody has to pay for it somewhere along the line.

 

Out of curiousity, which country do you come from?

 

"You might find that the money is spent on books, uniforms, school transport, pocket money, perhaps the school offers English language courses etc. None of this comes free."

[billd766]

11 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

The one GB owes $45 trillion as reparations. 

So, once again, which country is that?

[CorpusChristie]

On 11/16/2020 at 6:53 PM, lovethai123 said:

Well if there is a legal requirement then why do the schools charge any fee at all. 

My girl has a baby from her former Thai "husband" and I know she spends about 15000 yearly on fee, books clothes etc. 

 

That is about one month salary of many thais.  Guess my country is better. Education is free for all in government schools. Free food, free clothes , books etc. 

 

 

   There are free schools available for every child and there are also fee paying schools

[Golden Triangle]

According to Google it's India,  but need lovethai123 to confirm.

[billd766]

2 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

 

   There are free schools available for every child and there are also fee paying schools

I am confused by your remark.

 

My son has been in 2 kindergartens, 2 schools from P1 to P6 and he is now in his #5 school having completed M1 to M3 and he is now in M4. 

 

In each school apart from his first kindergarten (no uniform needed there) I took him 6 km each way daily at my expense. I did the same at his 2nd one which required uniforms at least 3 sets as they needed laundry every day or so, and took him 15km each way twice a day until we got him onto the school bus, which of course we paid for.

 

His first lower school was 60km away as we enrolled him in the English language program (at an extra cost of course) plus paying for the school bus and at least 3 sets of school uniform (1 set for a week is never enough) and giving him a small amount of pocket money.

 

His second lower school was in the same area and really meant no extra costs other than another 3 sets of uniform plus a Scout uniform.

 

I forgot about the insurance to be paid to the schools and the extra money to be paid for school outings.

 

His first high school is only 15km away and he used the school bus most mornings and some evenings I would pick him up as he used to play basket ball until perhaps 6 or 6:30 pm. So 3 more sets of white shirts and brown shorts plus 3 sets of blue shirts and blue tracksuit bottoms, Both brown plimsolls and white trainers are needed, plus about about 10 sets of white socks. That takes care of M1 to M3 and from M4 on it is black shorts instead of brown.  

 

Pocket money goes up about 10 thb every year. He is on the school bus run which takes care of most mornings unless he has to be there early and most evenings I pick him and several mates from somebodies house, another 15 km each way. "Dad's taxi" takes a bit of a hammering now as he is 16.

 

So please tell me where these "free" schools are and how much they really cost, as I am curious.

 

Does the "free" mean that everything is free?

[CorpusChristie]

2 minutes ago, billd766 said:

I am confused by your remark.

 

My son has been in 2 kindergartens, 2 schools from P1 to P6 and he is now in his #5 school having completed M1 to M3 and he is now in M4. 

 

In each school apart from his first kindergarten (no uniform needed there) I took him 6 km each way daily at my expense. I did the same at his 2nd one which required uniforms at least 3 sets as they needed laundry every day or so, and took him 15km each way twice a day until we got him onto the school bus, which of course we paid for.

 

His first lower school was 60km away as we enrolled him in the English language program (at an extra cost of course) plus paying for the school bus and at least 3 sets of school uniform (1 set for a week is never enough) and giving him a small amount of pocket money.

 

His second lower school was in the same area and really meant no extra costs other than another 3 sets of uniform plus a Scout uniform.

 

I forgot about the insurance to be paid to the schools and the extra money to be paid for school outings.

 

His first high school is only 15km away and he used the school bus most mornings and some evenings I would pick him up as he used to play basket ball until perhaps 6 or 6:30 pm. So 3 more sets of white shirts and brown shorts plus 3 sets of blue shirts and blue tracksuit bottoms, Both brown plimsolls and white trainers are needed, plus about about 10 sets of white socks. That takes care of M1 to M3 and from M4 on it is black shorts instead of brown.  

 

Pocket money goes up about 10 thb every year. He is on the school bus run which takes care of most mornings unless he has to be there early and most evenings I pick him and several mates from somebodies house, another 15 km each way. "Dad's taxi" takes a bit of a hammering now as he is 16.

 

So please tell me where these "free" schools are and how much they really cost, as I am curious.

 

Does the "free" mean that everything is free?

 

  School fees .

(Although even the free schools with no schooling fees , there is usually a minimal charge for school dinners/school uniforms)

[CanadaSam]

OP, you have a golden opportunity to educate a couple of young children into responsible, and potentially successful young adults.

 

It comes with a silver lining that they don't need to live with you, and are mostly looked after by mum.

 

TAKE CHARGE of the situation, which will entail a visit to a lawyer, followed by numerous meeting with mum (supervised by lawyer and/or elders), and then put forward your concerns, and what you are willing to offer in terms of expenses for their education.

 

Get it done soonest, and you MAY end up with a couple of very grateful young adults who will respect and care and perhaps love you into the twilight of your life.

 

Good Luck, Mate!

[billd766]

23 hours ago, CorpusChristie said:

 

  School fees .

(Although even the free schools with no schooling fees , there is usually a minimal charge for school dinners/school uniforms)

This is what I have been trying to explain to you.

 

I agree with especially about school meals as I used to get them back in the 1950s. Quite a few students got them and, to us and our parents. they were free, but somebody somewhere down the line did pay for them.

 

My Mum used to go to jumble sales to get my second hand outgrown school uniforms and shoes, which at somepoint were bought new.

 

There were no school fees at that time for secondary modern students and I have no idea if grammar schools charged as I never went there.