Why do Thais recommend divorced women with children to farang?

[Lacessit]

57 minutes ago, KhaoYai said:

Neither did I say anything about sluts. You people read too fast and read extra words in.

You did say hard to find a Thai girl over 16 that doesn't have a kid, so I think I made a reasonable inference from that.

[Odysseus123]

4 minutes ago, ChakaKhan said:

The older they get the less games they play, and less drama

I fervently wish that that was true.....

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

Divorced with kids?

 

Mine was a granny when we got hitched.

Mine was a granny when we met, that was irrelevant to me.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, KhaoYai said:

Where did I compare looks?

 

It would be extremely rare for a seriously rich guy to choose a village girl for his mia noi - the class system is alive and kicking (hard) in Thailand.

You're right, I was just saying....

Personally, I couldn't think of any worse choice than a HiSo - vain spoilt airheads. Except entitled Western women. Yes, that's a generalisation.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, KhaoYai said:

Agreed, in foreign eyes, my ex was a stunner but was considered ugly by most Thais - simply because she was dark skinned.

Dark skin is an indicator of socio-economic class, they've been working in the rice fields. I know a German guy whose Thai wife from Issan is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She's a lawyer, smart as a whip to boot. Light-skinned Thais who look down on the dark-skinned are simply displaying their own ignorance.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It it smart to marry a woman who has already one or more kids?

The kids will ALWAYS be her first priority.

Why should we be satisfied with being her 2nd priority - best case?

Disagree, I am equal priority if not more in our family.

[ChakaKhan]

22 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

I fervently wish that that was true.....

If at first you dont succeed, try try again..... ????

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Disagree, I am equal priority if not more in our family.

Why the need to compete with my children for attention from my wife, they need reassurance more than I ???? it is important my children feel loved and valued, I know it already.

[mr mr]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Light-skinned Thais who look down on the dark-skinned are simply displaying their own ignorance.

 

can we all just agree that westen men and thai men generally see beauty in a much different light ? i don't see it  as ignorance i simply see it as preference. beauty in  the eye of the beholder and all that.  

[ChipButty]

2 minutes ago, mr mr said:

 

can we all just agree that westen men and thai men generally see beauty in a much different light ? i don't see it  as ignorance i simply see it as preference. beauty in  the eye of the beholder and all that.  

One mans meat is another mans poison, you mean?

[mr mr]

1 minute ago, ChipButty said:

One mans meat is another mans poison, you mean?

 

it is kind of a sausage party in here most days eh.....

[Pravda]

My first rule when I moved to Thailand (after reading sob stories on Thai Visa) was to date women without children. 

 

Second was to have university degree and a job. 

 

It's really simple and not complicated unless you hang around bars. 

[scorecard]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Allow me to observe there are quite a few rural village girls who are just as good-looking as any Hi-So. My GF's daughter is an absolute stunner.

There does seem to be a division of chaste vs promiscuous girls in the rural villages, some families are quite strict. My GF was a virgin when she got married at age 23, had the daughter two years later. So they are not all sluts.

I tend to agree Thais view Thai women who are with farangs as spoiled goods. Doesn't worry me, just another indication of their narrow-minded thinking. Plenty of Western men here who are very happy to be pampered by their Thai wives and GF's, me included.

As far as becoming a mia noi to a multimillionaire goes, IMO demand would far outstrip the multi-millionaire supply.

 

 

Let's not forget the long-term solid Thai social 'rule' that men don't accept the existing children of girls/ladies they meet.

 

Why? Because 'they don't have the male partners blood'. Their blood is not the same as the master of the house., therefore the GFs children cannot live in the house.

 

90+ % of Thais follow this thinking, common also in Cambodia, Lao and Myanmar.

 

This is another reason why so many Thai kids live with grandma and in many cases ahave never been to the house where their birth mother now lives and know they are not welcome.

 

On the other hand the majority of western men (I think this is true) readily accept that their new GF has kids and she should remain strongly in their lives, and therefore accept her kids into their daily lives and into their house, accept responsibility for their welfare. education etc., and often become very good step-fathers. 

 

One of my professor buddies in Bkk met a female professor at his uni and they quickly formed a happy relationship. She speaks advanced English, lovely pleasant and intelligent young lady, never asked for anything.. 

 

She had  kids from a previous marriage with a Thai man,  2.5 yo and 5 yo. The lady professor informed my buddy she had kids as soon as they met.

 

The farang made it clear he wanted to meet her kids and get to know them, this happened quickly, the kids bonded with the farang quickly and were young enough to quickly pick up plenty of English.

 

Two years later they married and the kids featured in the ceremony and the wedding celebrations.

 

The lady professors elder brother made it plain from day 1 that the couple met that the kids had to be split up & each one go to live with a grandmother. 

 

Farang insisted this not happen and a few months before the wedding bought a new house with enough bedrooms for the two kids to each have their own very comfortable rooms, a shared bathroom, some electronics etc., and the kids (suggested/prompted by the farang and accepted by their mother) had been moved into better schools. They all moved into the new house a month or so before the wedding.

 

The day after the wedding the farang came home to a severe argument between his new wife and her elder brother who had arrived at the house, rounded up the 2 kids and demanded they each go to their rooms with big black plastic bags to gather up their clothes etc. Their mother was telling them 'you are not moving anywhere, this is your home, our family home'.

 

Both kids ran to the farang and clung onto him and with lots of crying said they didn't want to leave the house. 

 

Farang called a Thai lawyer friend and his wife called the police.

 

The police arrived first and tried to tell the farang that his wifes' brother was correct by Thai law, the kids could not stay there.

 

Lawyer arrived soon after and quickly demanded that both the police and the older brother quote the supposed Thai law which states that they could not live in the new house because their blood was not the same as the new husband'.

 

Both police and older brother couldn't quote any such law. Lawyer demanded the phone number of the senior the 2 cops reported to and lawyer called him. Senior arrived at the house 10 minutes later and got very angry with his 2 junior cops telling them 'you've been told before there is no such law and that you cannot make up laws'.

 

Senior cops spoke some English, he told the farang 'you are not breaking any laws, and I'm happy to see that the 2 children and being well taken care of'. '

 

Senior cop then spoke strongly to the older brother and made him confirm that he now understood there is no such law, then told the farang 'if you have any further problems please call me' and gave his card and mobile no. 

 

 

[spidermike007]

5 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

 

 

My father in law hates the fact his daughter married a quiet farang and takes care of her and didn't stay with the hiso Thai man that continually beat her up.

 

 

 

He sounds like a stunningly ignorant man, reduced to living in a tiny box of convention. Kind of feel sorry for him. 

[CharlieH]

In my observation, its not that the Thai male doesnt want the female, he just will not accept nor take care of another mans children. The child (ren) ends up with the grandparents permanently.

[Lacessit]

9 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

Let's not forget the long-term solid Thai social 'rule' that men don't accept the existing children of girls/ladies they meet.

 

Why? Because 'they don't have the male partners blood'. Their blood is not the same as the master of the house., therefore the GFs children cannot live in the house.

 

90+ % of Thais follow this thinking, common also in Cambodia, Lao and Myanmar.

 

This is another reason why so many Thai kids live with grandma and in many cases ahave never been to the house where their birth mother now lives and know they are not welcome.

 

On the other hand the majority of western men (I think this is true) readily accept that their new GF has kids and she should remain strongly in their lives, and therefore accept her kids into their daily lives and into their house, accept responsibility for their welfare. education etc., and often become very good step-fathers. 

 

One of my professor buddies in Bkk met a female professor at his uni and they quickly formed a happy relationship. She speaks advanced English, lovely pleasant and intelligent young lady, never asked for anything.. 

 

She had  kids from a previous marriage with a Thai man,  2.5 yo and 5 yo. The lady professor informed my buddy she had kids as soon as they met.

 

The farang made it clear he wanted to meet her kids and get to know them, this happened quickly, the kids bonded with the farang quickly and were young enough to quickly pick up plenty of English.

 

Two years later they married and the kids featured in the ceremony and the wedding celebrations.

 

The lady professors elder brother made it plain from day 1 that the couple met that the kids had to be split up & each one go to live with a grandmother. 

 

Farang insisted this not happen and a few months before the wedding bought a new house with enough bedrooms for the two kids to each have their own very comfortable rooms, a shared bathroom, some electronics etc., and the kids (suggested/prompted by the farang and accepted by their mother) had been moved into better schools. They all moved into the new house a month or so before the wedding.

 

The day after the wedding the farang came home to a severe argument between his new wife and her elder brother who had arrived at the house, rounded up the 2 kids and demanded they each go to their rooms with big black plastic bags to gather up their clothes etc. Their mother was telling them 'you are not moving anywhere, this is your home, our family home'.

 

Both kids ran to the farang and clung onto him and with lots of crying said they didn't want to leave the house. 

 

Farang called a Thai lawyer friend and his wife called the police.

 

The police arrived first and tried to tell the farang that his wifes' brother was correct by Thai law, the kids could not stay there.

 

Lawyer arrived soon after and quickly demanded that both the police and the older brother quote the supposed Thai law which states that they could not live in the new house because their blood was not the same as the new husband'.

 

Both police and older brother couldn't quote any such law. Lawyer demanded the phone number of the senior the 2 cops reported to and lawyer called him. Senior arrived at the house 10 minutes later and got very angry with his 2 junior cops telling them 'you've been told before there is no such law and that you cannot make up laws'.

 

Senior cops spoke some English, he told the farang 'you are not breaking any laws, and I'm happy to see that the 2 children and being well taken care of'. '

 

Senior cop then spoke strongly to the older brother and made him confirm that he now understood there is no such law, then told the farang 'if you have any further problems please call me' and gave his card and mobile no. 

 

 

My GF's grand-daughter stays with us, she's a sweet kid and grandma keeps her on the straight and narrow. I'm contributing towards her education expenses.

I put a sad icon on your previous post because I am sorry for your loss.

[DaLa]

Nearly all of the above could be said about the UK. Except some of the grannies/single mothers/spoilt goods/bar girls/non educated there have a very high opinion of themselves.

 

Thailand women (from all backgrounds ) 1 – UK women 0

[Ventenio]

it's short-sighted logic, go figure.  YES, odds are farangs have more money and that means some help for the child.  sometimes there is a pattern of domestic abuse, and farangs "seem" more placid.  the PROBLEM is the kid's culture and identity usually becomes scattered IF the farang isn't that stable.  language barriers cannot be overstated.  and then what if the farang leaves?

 

getting more money but unable to really have a conversation can't be good for a family after a significant period of time.  sure, it can work if the guy and child bond....and I have a feeling it's easier to do if the child is a girl.  teenage boys and farang dad....seems like more problems.  

[tgw]

7 hours ago, ZhangYimou said:

My farang friend is handsome, young and has a good job. He is single.

Oh wonderful, I have a Thai friend from school who is now divorced and has a child. We should introduce them! 

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? Is it because Thai people think that farang are more accepting of women with children or is it just that they think that farangs are all a bunch of  losers and below Thais on the social scale?

I only notice this behavior in Thailand.  

 

because they want to first help their fellow countrywomen before thinking about the farang's wellbeing.

[ChipButty]

30 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

Let's not forget the long-term solid Thai social 'rule' that men don't accept the existing children of girls/ladies they meet.

 

Why? Because 'they don't have the male partners blood'. Their blood is not the same as the master of the house., therefore the GFs children cannot live in the house.

 

90+ % of Thais follow this thinking, common also in Cambodia, Lao and Myanmar.

 

This is another reason why so many Thai kids live with grandma and in many cases ahave never been to the house where their birth mother now lives and know they are not welcome.

 

On the other hand the majority of western men (I think this is true) readily accept that their new GF has kids and she should remain strongly in their lives, and therefore accept her kids into their daily lives and into their house, accept responsibility for their welfare. education etc., and often become very good step-fathers. 

 

One of my professor buddies in Bkk met a female professor at his uni and they quickly formed a happy relationship. She speaks advanced English, lovely pleasant and intelligent young lady, never asked for anything.. 

 

She had  kids from a previous marriage with a Thai man,  2.5 yo and 5 yo. The lady professor informed my buddy she had kids as soon as they met.

 

The farang made it clear he wanted to meet her kids and get to know them, this happened quickly, the kids bonded with the farang quickly and were young enough to quickly pick up plenty of English.

 

Two years later they married and the kids featured in the ceremony and the wedding celebrations.

 

The lady professors elder brother made it plain from day 1 that the couple met that the kids had to be split up & each one go to live with a grandmother. 

 

Farang insisted this not happen and a few months before the wedding bought a new house with enough bedrooms for the two kids to each have their own very comfortable rooms, a shared bathroom, some electronics etc., and the kids (suggested/prompted by the farang and accepted by their mother) had been moved into better schools. They all moved into the new house a month or so before the wedding.

 

The day after the wedding the farang came home to a severe argument between his new wife and her elder brother who had arrived at the house, rounded up the 2 kids and demanded they each go to their rooms with big black plastic bags to gather up their clothes etc. Their mother was telling them 'you are not moving anywhere, this is your home, our family home'.

 

Both kids ran to the farang and clung onto him and with lots of crying said they didn't want to leave the house. 

 

Farang called a Thai lawyer friend and his wife called the police.

 

The police arrived first and tried to tell the farang that his wifes' brother was correct by Thai law, the kids could not stay there.

 

Lawyer arrived soon after and quickly demanded that both the police and the older brother quote the supposed Thai law which states that they could not live in the new house because their blood was not the same as the new husband'.

 

Both police and older brother couldn't quote any such law. Lawyer demanded the phone number of the senior the 2 cops reported to and lawyer called him. Senior arrived at the house 10 minutes later and got very angry with his 2 junior cops telling them 'you've been told before there is no such law and that you cannot make up laws'.

 

Senior cops spoke some English, he told the farang 'you are not breaking any laws, and I'm happy to see that the 2 children and being well taken care of'. '

 

Senior cop then spoke strongly to the older brother and made him confirm that he now understood there is no such law, then told the farang 'if you have any further problems please call me' and gave his card and mobile no. 

 

 

The only problem now is the older brother has lost big face and the 2 cops, The laws in Thailand regarding child welfare is quite good 

[AlfHuy]

3 hours ago, Crossy said:

Divorced with kids?

 

Mine was a granny when we got hitched.

Granny at 26 ????

[owl sees all]

3 hours ago, colinneil said:

Well well Crossy a member of the grab a granny brigade.

Many an old tune played on an old fiddle. According to that young guy in 'Minder'.

Edited December 27, 2020 by owl sees all

[AlfHuy]

3 hours ago, KhaoYai said:

Agreed, in foreign eyes, my ex was a stunner but was considered ugly by most Thais - simply because she was dark skinned.

Europeans go on holidays to get some colour.

I love latin women, this chocolate colour.

 

Imagine now this colour with an asian look.

Perfect.

 

This fake "want to be white" thing is horrible.

All those cremes they buy from 7/11 ????

[Dmaxdan]

34 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

In my observation, its not that the Thai male doesnt want the female, he just will not accept nor take care of another mans children. The child (ren) ends up with the grandparents permanently.

We are full time carers of our 5 year old grandson.

His father is currently doing time for drug offences, and his mother (my wife's 30 year old daughter) is "working" in Bangkok. She uses every excuse in the book as a reason why she can't send any money. 

[ChipButty]

4 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

We are full time carers of our 5 year old grandson.

His father is currently doing time for drug offences, and his mother (my wife's 30 year old daughter) is "working" in Bangkok. She uses every excuse in the book as a reason why she can't send any money. 

You farang you pay

[scorecard]

28 minutes ago, ChipButty said:

The only problem now is the older brother has lost big face and the 2 cops, The laws in Thailand regarding child welfare is quite good 

Try thinking positive.

 

Or perhaps you would subscribe to:

 

- Letting the older brother have his way and the 2 kids don't get the love, caring, support and daily learning and direction from their birth mother and their dedicated step-father. And

- The 2 cops continue to sprout things which are not correct in terms of the law, and believe they can make up the law as it suits them.

 

 

[Kwasaki]

8 hours ago, ZhangYimou said:

I only notice this behavior in Thailand.

I don't !!  I hear of many broken relationships in and around our village with a few falang marriages.

Thai couples who just have partners and call them husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend break up more so than Thais that get married but they all mostly take up with another Thai person, some more than a few times.

[BritManToo]

57 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

it's short-sighted logic, go figure.  YES, odds are farangs have more money and that means some help for the child.  sometimes there is a pattern of domestic abuse, and farangs "seem" more placid.  the PROBLEM is the kid's culture and identity usually becomes scattered IF the farang isn't that stable.  language barriers cannot be overstated.  and then what if the farang leaves?

 

getting more money but unable to really have a conversation can't be good for a family after a significant period of time.  sure, it can work if the guy and child bond....and I have a feeling it's easier to do if the child is a girl.  teenage boys and farang dad....seems like more problems.  

i've  never encountered any of these problems with my Thai step-daughter.

She moved in age 11 speaking no  English, and is now in her final term at university age 22 and almost NES.

She has been nothing but lovely for the entire time she lived with me.

[ChipButty]

31 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Try thinking positive.

 

Or perhaps you would subscribe to:

 

- Letting the older brother have his way and the 2 kids don't get the love, caring, support and daily learning and direction from their birth mother and their dedicated step-father. And

- The 2 cops continue to sprout things which are not correct in terms of the law, and believe they can make up the law as it suits them.

 

 

I am thinking positive, lets leave at that,

[mr mr]

seems many men have forgotten their value to women in general. you are a provider and security. thai or western it makes no difference. somewhere in there she might be able to stomach you but other than that.

 

before the 3 guys on here that don't think they live like that or who will strongly disagree with me start barking.... i am talking generally and not specific.