Thrown for a loop...

[crazykopite]

My GF is exactly the same as soon as the evil deed is done it’s we need to shower I try and tell her I need five minutes just to relax after all I am 70 yet  the answer comes back no we must shower so that we are clean before we sleep and I’m one of those who wakes up when I’ve had a shower by the way she showers at least 6 times a day when she comes to stay with me . I don’t know if I could cope if she moved in permanently 

[whaleboneman]

20 hours ago, JAS21 said:

Have sex in the shower...quite normal for many...job done.

wear a helmet

[TKDfella]

Over a quarter of a century ago that I married my Thai wife, a Head Ward Nurse and it was always shower before and shower afterwards.

[Thingamabob]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:52 AM, Natai Beach said:

The shower thing is fairly normal. 

farangs are infamous for being shower shy in Thailand. Don’t be lazy, keep yourself clean. Farangs have a more pungent body odor than can be quite offensive. 
 

The lack of affection is normal when a woman just isn’t into you anymore. You have been away, she might have found a more skillful and cleaner lover. 
 

Are you giving her orgasms everytime? You might want to work on your technique. 

Well said.

[Inala]

On 1/10/2021 at 10:20 AM, robblok said:

Got a SG girl who wont allow me into the bed without a shower. Not that strange IMHO. I mean a shower before sleeping. The Thai girls I have been with also always wanted one or two showers a day. In general Thais like hygiene more then foreigners. Back in the Netherlands I used to shower just once a day. Now its two or three times.

 

What's a 'SG' girl?

[Topah]

Sounds like normal marriage. Your honeymoon period is over and it is getting to normal "friends" period. Marriage will never go more passionate etc. It is very rare that marriage goes better and better every year. One thing I know that divorce does. Feels bad first but after short time you start feeling better and better.

[robblok]

3 minutes ago, Inala said:

 

What's a 'SG' girl?

Not Thai but from Singapore.

[Inala]

On 2/22/2021 at 4:30 PM, WinterGael said:

This is so true.  I think COVID has brought about many changes.  Was never supposed to be gone so long.  And I have changed, too.  I was not expecting to have to support her for so long.  In order to do so I had to resort to activities I had long since stopped. Not good one.... and she would not approve of.  COVID could not have come at a worse time...

 

"....I was not expecting to have to support her for so long....." 

 

Strange comment. She's your wife, isn't it your role to support her? This may be the problem, if you're not supporting her, she'll find someone that does.

[hotchilli]

On 1/10/2021 at 6:56 AM, WinterGael said:

So my question is, is this normal.  For 3-1/2 years it sure wasn't normal.  And on top of that, she always was very affectionate with lots of kisses, now she barely gives me a kiss good night. So what's with that?

Possibly you coming to Thailand permanently and spoiling her routine.

[robblok]

1 minute ago, Inala said:

 

"....I was not expecting to have to support her for so long....." 

 

Strange comment. She's your wife, isn't it your role to support her? This may be the problem, if you're not supporting her, she'll find someone that does.

Depends a bit if you have a GF with own income you usually don't have to support them. My GF certainly does not have to be supported. It might be that you support your wife a bit extra if she loses her job. But for me a marriage means that both would contribute to the household income and spendings.

[robblok]

15 minutes ago, Topah said:

Sounds like normal marriage. Your honeymoon period is over and it is getting to normal "friends" period. Marriage will never go more passionate etc. It is very rare that marriage goes better and better every year. One thing I know that divorce does. Feels bad first but after short time you start feeling better and better.

Married or not relationships become less passionate. Still not a reason to end a relationship otherwise in 90% of the cases you have to end a relationship and start over. Not my kind of thing. Just prefer to find someone that matches me well so its not only the part between the sheets that interests me. If that is all you want from a partner why not rent one. Then you can change all you want.

[Surelynot]

1 minute ago, robblok said:

Married or not relationships become less passionate. Still not a reason to end a relationship otherwise in 90% of the cases you have to end a relationship and start over. Not my kind of thing. Just prefer to find someone that matches me well so its not only the part between the sheets that interests me. If that is all you want from a partner why not rent one. Then you can change all you want.

Read recently....marriage is like a pack of cards......and sex is the ace of spades......

[robblok]

1 minute ago, Surelynot said:

Read recently....marriage is like a pack of cards......and sex is the ace of spades......

Been married in the past. Sex was always good. But it does get less intense over time. But that is normal. That new feeling is something you normally only have in the beginning of a relation. In my opinion the girl you go with should either be rented if sex is all that is cared about. Then you can change.

 

I personally like to see a girl as a package with sex one of the things. So as long as there are plenty of other fields that overlap and interests then its not a problem. I see a GF also as a friend and partner. Doing stuff together. But plenty of guys on this forum have a gf for the sex and then their mates for fun. (might often be language and cultural  too as its hard to have a conversation if one of the partners is not fluid in the language that is used for communication).

[Topah]

12 minutes ago, robblok said:

Married or not relationships become less passionate. Still not a reason to end a relationship otherwise in 90% of the cases you have to end a relationship and start over. Not my kind of thing. Just prefer to find someone that matches me well so its not only the part between the sheets that interests me. If that is all you want from a partner why not rent one. Then you can change all you want.

 

I understand you. Everyone is different. I have realised for me there is not much topics I have in common to talk with ladies or activities to do (all usually related to work or sex). I like being with guys talking about hunting, sports etc. Renting one is actually good idea also. Done for hundreds of years with great success. I dont see any other benefits getting married than getting a visa to stay in Thailand. It is a worst ever contract you will make as a man (come and read this after few years and hit that love button). ????

 

And other thing is that even you think you are clever knowing your lady... They are well ahead with everything you do and can control you emotionally that you dont even know it. You will be a mess. It has happened with all my long relationships once I said what I want and wont compromise. At the end man will be the one who completes ladies world and space. Not other way around. 

[Surelynot]

1 minute ago, Topah said:

I like being with guys talking about hunting, sports etc. Renting one is actually good idea also.

Tell me you mean girls and not guys re: renting one!!!

[sead]

My gf doesn't leave my side in bed. She is sticking to me like glue. If she is sweating alot then she will take a quick shower. But after the shower she is on me again, hugging and kissing. Still same after 4 years. I'm 50 and normal looking and she's a stunner. Next time shower before and immediately after sex. Don't wait for her to tell you to go shower. After that go to bed and call her to come and hug and see her reaction. You coming back could have interrupted some affair she is having. Some girls are trying to tell you something with their behaviour just so that you are the one telling her, that you want to separate and that way she will be seeing as the good one. But if she is going for an divorce you will quickly notice a change in behaviour. 

 

[robblok]

2 minutes ago, Topah said:

 

I understand you. Everyone is different. I have realised for me there is not much topics I have in common to talk with ladies or activities to do (all usually related to work or sex). I like being with guys talking about hunting, sports etc. Renting one is actually good idea also. Done for hundreds of years with great success. I dont see any other benefits getting married than getting a visa to stay in Thailand. It is a worst ever contract you will make as a man (come and read this after few years and hit that love button). ????

I think that really depends on the girls you go with. The girl that I am with now is at least as bright as I am and a professional in the same field. Plus that we both like diving, fitness and other stuff. Plus that her being from SG she speaks perfect English. Makes things a lot easier. 

 

Again its really all about preference, i never liked renting. Many guys do it and are happy about it.

[Topah]

8 minutes ago, robblok said:

I think that really depends on the girls you go with. The girl that I am with now is at least as bright as I am and a professional in the same field. Plus that we both like diving, fitness and other stuff. Plus that her being from SG she speaks perfect English. Makes things a lot easier. 

 

Again its really all about preference, i never liked renting. Many guys do it and are happy about it.

 

You need to change the timeframe and make sure what you want. But in marriage it is always about negotiation. For me I am what I am and take it or leave it. I can take suggestions or criticism but no mind games or too long moody behavior. You just need to know where you are as a husband. How much you give and how much you expect to get back. If it is not comfortable for the timeframe you set... make adjustments or take a hike ???? 

 

It is very common that there is another man around after few years of marriage. Especially if she is good looking and you are a way longer period. Every single lady likes sex and if it is not husband, it will most likely be someone else.

[SomchaiCNX]

Yes, things change after you marry, have kids etc etc. I used to fall asleep after sex, now I take a shower and go back home ????  (hope people understand it is a joke).  For those who live here long enough even  male and female clothes have a picking order and special place when washing and drying them. And yes Nancy, growing a beard has consequences, the older generation just hates it while the younger generation is more open to it but still many Asians think it is dirty.

 

[robblok]

1 minute ago, Topah said:

 

You need to change the timeframe and make sure what you want. But in marriage it is always about negotiation. For me I am what I am and take it or leave it. I can take suggestions or criticism but no mind games or too long moody behavior. You just need to know where you are as a husband. How much you give and how much you expect to get back. If it is not comfortable for the timeframe you set... make adjustments or take a hike ???? 

Seems normal to me that in a relation you give and take. Yes you have to be comfortable with that part and not get in a situation you don't like. But that seems logical. Why stay if your not happy. Mind games and moody behaviour are a no no for me too. But i don't seem to meet those girls.. or reject them before. Its really all about selection.

 

But if you want a 20 year old stunner and your a lot older .. then renting is usually better. But then is it a relation or just sexual.

[Surelynot]

1 minute ago, SomchaiCNX said:

Yes, things change after you marry, have kids etc etc. I used to fall asleep after sex, now I take a shower and go back home ????  (hope people understand it is a joke).  For those who live here long enough even  male and female clothes have a picking order and special place when drying them. And yes Nancy, growing a beard has consequences, the older generation just hates it while the younger generation is more open to it but still many Asians think is dirty.

 

Bit like you........... I look forward to a pleasant night out with a loved one........then back home to the wife.

[hansnl]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:52 AM, Natai Beach said:

The shower thing is fairly normal. 

farangs are infamous for being shower shy in Thailand. Don’t be lazy, keep yourself clean. Farangs have a more pungent body odor than can be quite offensive. 
 

The lack of affection is normal when a woman just isn’t into you anymore. You have been away, she might have found a more skillful and cleaner lover. 
 

Are you giving her orgasms everytime? You might want to work on your technique. 

Farang can have a pungent pong that can be offensive?

Really?

Ever smelled a Thai after having eaten dishes with spicy food and/or garlic.

The smell is really awful.

The farang I know shower twice a day, at least, while many Thai I know only shower if it is not too cool.

 

 

 

[DaLa]

22 hours ago, JAS21 said:

Have sex in the shower...quite normal for many...job done.

Two birds with one stone as we say in England....and if she's ok with it  then it can literally be 2 birds.

[DaLa]

2 hours ago, crazykopite said:

My GF is exactly the same as soon as the evil deed is done it’s we need to shower I try and tell her I need five minutes just to relax after all I am 70 yet  the answer comes back no we must shower so that we are clean before we sleep and I’m one of those who wakes up when I’ve had a shower by the way she showers at least 6 times a day when she comes to stay with me . I don’t know if I could cope if she moved in permanently 

Cope or afford the water bill?

[Nanaplaza666]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:23 AM, bwpage3 said:

Looking for answers from strangers who don't know your wife?

 

 

Maybe they do ? ????????

[Nanaplaza666]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:48 AM, WinterGael said:

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

My wife has totally changed ..... and the qeustion is not about your wife ??? 

[Nanaplaza666]

On 1/10/2021 at 8:39 AM, WinterGael said:

I thank you for all the replies.  Yes, it was a long time to be away. COVID sucks... from all the replies, while it may be nothing, you have given me pause to take a good hard look at her actions over all.  And I do see a cause for concern.

 

It is what it is.  What sucks is we haf been planning my move here for years, and if my concerns play out, then I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because there's nothing left in Canada to go back to.

 

Oh well... figure things out as they go. Thanks all. 

The reactions have given you pause to take a good hard look at her actions over all ?? When did you post this a month or longer ago or did you find all this out in the few hours that this has been posted . Must have been a real good hard look then . 

[Tony125]

On 1/10/2021 at 8:39 AM, WinterGael said:

I thank you for all the replies.  Yes, it was a long time to be away. COVID sucks... from all the replies, while it may be nothing, you have given me pause to take a good hard look at her actions over all.  And I do see a cause for concern.

 

It is what it is.  What sucks is we haf been planning my move here for years, and if my concerns play out, then I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because there's nothing left in Canada to go back to.

 

Oh well... figure things out as they go. Thanks all. 

Makes no difference if there is nothing back in Canada for you if things go bad here you would simply move on and find another Thai woman there are plenty available.  Think part of it is Covid response as people are being more careful washing more. My wife showers in morning, before bed, sometimes in afternoon and usually after sex says she all sweaty after workout. My former Thai GF's same. Might think you were hitting someone else while away so taking more precautions but since she asks you to shower after probably a cleanliness thing.  Was told by many Thai girls when I first came here that farangs not shower enough. Had afriend who was lucky to shower once a day that changed after all his Thai girls including present wife and bar girls told him to shower more often. I think many of us from cold climates might not shower more than once a day as when home we don't really sweat due to cold but need to shower more in this heat both to cool down and keep clean/fresh.

[chilly07]

Training you in Thai hygiene before you move permanently. Yes it is normal to shower after sex. Before she was just putting up with your bad habits.

[LukKrueng]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:23 AM, bwpage3 said:

Looking for answers from strangers who don't know your wife?

 

 

Maybe he thinks (or hopes) someone here does...