I once met a man in Hanoi who warned me about spending too much time in Thailand.

[tandor]

..seems to me the OP has succumbed to temptation and needs to regroup and resume his 'adventuring'.

[Ganesh108]

21 hours ago, faraday said:

 

It's you, not Thailand. Happiness comes from within.

I agree in principle, though it would take quite a Buddha-like effort to grow that inner happiness in Iraq or Eritrea.

 

Not every country or mentality gels with everyone.  

[Ganesh108]

21 hours ago, jvs said:

Learn to love yourself and only then you can truly love others.

It is a process, it can take a long time!!!!When you find it you will realize it is much better than

any religion!!!

I would say, this is religion, but in a good way.  

.  

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

12 hours ago, Caldera said:

Sure, there are people who shouldn't live in Thailand, because they are prone to going off the rails. Being far away from home can both trigger or amplify that.

Indeed, the old "expat-itus", a propensity toward extreme negativity and confrontational behavior. While I'm convinced Thailand can certainly help some people, it certainly doesn't do others any favors. It either exacerbates or further enables that behavior they won't have an opportunity to change here.

 

It's a bit like the adage I've often heard, "don't come here expecting to escape your problems", which I don't entirely agree with. There are plenty of guys like me who had been looking for alternatives with job opportunities and ladies, and hadn't had much luck, due to the fact those things have simply become quite difficult back home. I'm happy to say that here I've now had those here for several years. The problems were apparently more external than internal.

 

On the other hand, I've had a few colleagues who told me a bit about their troubled pasts, and after the rigors of work eventually exhibited some psychopathic behavior, which I don't think being here will do much for.

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

On the other hand, I've had a few colleagues who told me a bit about their troubled pasts, and after the rigors of work eventually exhibited some psychopathic behavior, which I don't think being here will do much for.

psychopathic behaviour is a relative concept.

I don't believe I've ever met a Thai lady more mentally stable than me (which isn't a hard standard to beat).

[Bradmeister]

OP,

 

Its your DNA being mutated by the bad air quality your metabolism is attempting to combat.

 

Its the bacteria that thrives here eating away at plastics and rubber products which affects your skin, hair, and nails.

 

Its your immune system that's constantly being assaulted by poor sanitary practices and lack of hot running water throughout the country.

 

Its the Suns radiation at this longitude and lattitude that's bombarding you with neutrons and permeating your being.

 

Its the Draconian laws and regulations of the lands wrath of wasted resources, time, energy and effort that affects your moral compass.

 

Its your environment and what you do to exist in it. 

 

If your being does not agree with the environment, you have to adapt, overcome and improvise. Or let it go, and move on to your next destination. 

 

As far as being entertained or entertaining yourself, that can be had anywhere on every continent.  Thats the absolute last reason to live in Thailand.

 

Volunteer to do for your fellow man or woman be the best you can be through your profession, skills or craft, and help educate the people who ask, or who you see that need your help. Continue to desire achievement, or you will be grumpy and unfulfilled anywhere. 

 

Be careful when you look into the Abyss, as the Abyss may look back at you. 

[thedemon]

22 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Anyone who comes here at an early age with the attention of staying needs their heads examining, including the crowd of so called 'teachers' of English, who are actually not qualified to teach anything.  Its just another drop out situation, an extended 'year out,' whatever the fxxk that means, hanging on to a colonial ideas of what life in Asia is all about.  My older kids told me that they were taking a year out before Uni to travel around Asia. I soon disabused them of that idea, telling them that they would get no financial support from me to do so.  Get qualified, get a job, make some money, then travel. Any reasonably thinking person from the West makes it there before moving here, bar the very few expats employed by international companies who are here longer term on expat packages. And before the real teachers, qualified PGCE or equivalent, teaching in International schools and the Universities start howling, I of course exempt you from my comments. So to summarise, the older Cornwall guy was just  bitter old drop out and the story teller, just a younger version of him. 

 

On the other hand you could move to Thailand when you're still young, have a blast, make lots of money, earn PR or citizenship and (almost) free medical so that you then have the right to a hoop-free retirement either in Thailand or the west.

[RocketDog]

I think getting older brings a realization of the larger world around you as well as a firmer grasp of your own mortality and physical/mental decline. 

 

All of these things can strongly affect your worldview in negative ways. 

 

The decline part is obviously a downer, but for me the general state of the world and human affairs is often deeply disappointing; I can't help but fear for our children's future. 

 

In short, the longer you live, the more you know and understand where we are collectively at, the easier it it is to become depressed and bitter. 

 

A pronounced effort to see the good side of life is increasingly necessary to combat that mentality as one ages. 

 

It's a daily choice that we make consciously or unconsciously. As in all things, some do better than others. 

[BritManToo]

13 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

The decline part is obviously a downer, but for me the general state of the world and human affairs is often deeply disappointing; I can't help but fear for our children's future. 

The trick is not to care about anyone or anything  outside your village.

The Thais have mastered this happiness 'life hack', and successfully taught it to me.

Edited February 25, 2021 by BritManToo

[Pilotman]

44 minutes ago, thedemon said:

 

On the other hand you could move to Thailand when you're still young, have a blast, make lots of money, earn PR or citizenship and (almost) free medical so that you then have the right to a hoop-free retirement either in Thailand or the west.

That hardly ever happens, if at all.  I have never heard or met anyone who has done anything close to that, but I have met a lot of farangs who are basically drop outs, who got caught here by the 'idea' of Thailand, rather than the actuality, no ambition beyond enjoyment of the moment, now living on a pittance in old age, in the sticks, supporting a large extended mixed race family.  Now I've met a lot of those. 

[BritManToo]

Just now, Pilotman said:

now living on a pittance in old age, in the sticks, supporting a large extended mixed race family.  Now I've met a lot of those. 

Is that so bad?

[Pilotman]

Just now, BritManToo said:

Is that so bad?

yep

[KarenBravo]

The thread title sounds like the start of a limerick.......but, it does't rhyme.

[Blue Muton]

On 2/24/2021 at 9:20 AM, cdemundo said:

Disappointed.  I thought it was gonna be a Limerick.

 

I once met a man in Hanoi

who partied with sexy young Noi,

Imagine his fright

as he sat bolt upright

when he saw "she" was a ladyboy.

[Pilotman]

16 minutes ago, KarenBravo said:

The thread title sounds like the start of a limerick.......but, it does't rhyme.

try harder, I would love to hear it

[Pilotman]

13 minutes ago, Blue Muton said:

 

I once met a man in Hanoi

who partied with sexy young Noi,

Imagine his fright

as he sat bolt upright

when he saw "she" was a ladyboy.

nearly right, the cadence is a bit off, but well done, its better than I can do. 

[KarenBravo]

1 minute ago, Pilotman said:

try harder, I would love to hear it

 

At what?

[RocketDog]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

The trick is not to care about anyone or anything  outside your village.

The Thais have mastered this happiness 'life hack', and successfully taught it to me.

Excellent point which I understand. I'm gradually coming around to that myself as my roots in America wither. 

 

I've learned two life lessons from my relatively under-educated but wise Thai Lady. 

Mai kid mak. Don't think too much. 

Cha cha. Go slowly. 

 

Funny you use the word 'life-hack'. 'Hack' originally meant to modify or reuse something in a different way than intended. 

So that jibes perfectly with the dogma of many religions, including Buddhism, that life is all about suffering but there are glorious days ahead after we die. 

 

Personally I don't buy it. Life wasn't 'meant' to be anything by a fictious Any One; it just is. I try to enjoy every day I'm alive and harm no one. 

[RocketDog]

1 minute ago, Pilotman said:

when he saw "she" was a ladyboy

When he saw she was really a boy. 

There, fixed it. 

[Pilotman]

How about:

 

I once met a man from Hanoi

who came up with a workable ploy

to forget all his total Thai fail

and bang some communist tail 

 

[Pilotman]

4 minutes ago, KarenBravo said:

 

At what?

the limerick 

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, RocketDog said:

When he saw she was really a boy. 

There, fixed it. 

well done. 

[KarenBravo]

1 minute ago, Pilotman said:

the limerick 

 

I don't think I could do better than Blue Muton with the correction.

 

Your "limerick" isn't a limerick. The last line has to rhyme with the first.

[1FinickyOne]

On 2/24/2021 at 3:56 PM, AgMech Cowboy said:

I miss a lot of friends from back in the US, but my home is here...

we email and skype... haven't lost a step.

[Nout]

On 2/24/2021 at 8:41 AM, WineOh said:

morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

No.

[BangkokReady]

On 2/24/2021 at 9:19 AM, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

I’ve worked with a lot old folks back in the States, and eventually got a similar spiel from them.

 

The problem is that people's psychology changes drastically as they age, but they don't take this into account when they dish out advice.  They don't consider that they simply think completely differently and therefore cannot see the world from a young person's perspective, they mistakenly think that they have learnt something or mastered their emotions and that has changed their opinion.  (I'm not saying people cannot learn anything or make any meaningful changes themselves.)

 

"You don't need X, Y and Z to make you happy.  I've learnt that what's important is A, B and C."  In reality, their biology no longer craves X, Y and Z, but they rationalise it as them have purposefully made a deliberate change in their lives and overcome some sort of obstacle and others should do the same.

 

Also, old people can become resentful of the young and hate everything that they do.

 

I would say listen to old people's stories, learn from their mistakes, but when it comes to advice, take it with a large pinch of biological determinism salt.

[laosnative]

2 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

I once knew a man from Nantucket..... ????

Who decided to pee in a bucket,

The bucket was small,

and couldnt hold it all,

so he peed on the floor and said **** it.

[spidermike007]

On 2/24/2021 at 8:41 AM, WineOh said:

morning all,

today's anecdote is about the time I bumped into a gentleman in a restaurant in downtown Hanoi.

He was a middle aged man and I was a young sprog who just moved to asia.

at that time I was a free agent and was still looking for a place to settle.

He was dressed well and seemed like he knew the ropes so I decided to strike up a conversation. 

Turns out he was from Cornwall and had just moved to Vietnam after 33 years in Thailand.

I pumped him for info all night and some of what he told me shocked me a little.

 

I had just visited Thailand for the first time at that point and had a real blast,

I was still well into the 'honeymoon' phase and hadn't (at that point) heard anything even remotely negative about the place.

that evening, all that was about to change.

I asked him why did he leave Thailand?

It took him a while to answer but finally he did.

what he said was that living in Thailand for 33 years had turned him into a misanthrope.

he was now avoiding all contact with people and only talked to me as I reminded him of his son.

He asked me what was I doing all the way out here when I should be back in the UK playing footie with the lads and chasing tail

I told him I was after some adventure that back home could not offer me.

he said that's fine, but please don't make the same mistake that he made. 

He said have fun, fill your boots but do not live there.

No good will come of it.

 

At that time I thought he was mad, which he may well have been.

But his words now have some resonance with me.

He may have been right.

I have myself noticed a marked change in my personality since moving here and my attitude has certainly changed towards locals and expats alike.

I used to be warm and fun to be around.

Now I'm aloof and a bit miserable.

People annoy me very easily and I hardly ever smile.

Not sure if that is a direct result of Living in Thailand or just getting older.

but it sure is interesting as I seem to be heading down the exact same path as the elderly man from cornwall.

 

Do any of you have similar experiences as myself or the man from cornwall? 

 

Not sure how serious you are being. But there are other factors to be taken into account. The process of getting older is not exactly one filled with dignity! I believe unless we are making a real effort to become a better man, on a daily basis, in whatever form that might take, we tend to slide backwards, and become a grumpier, less pleasant, and less positive version of ourselves. I have witnessed that with countless souls. That slide is inevitable. But, it can be prevented with good living, the right diet, plenty of cardio type exercise, a deliberate attempt to maintain a positive attitude, maintaining perspective (probably one of the hardest things to do in this life), surrounding yourself with good people (not your typical bored, upcountry drunks), and maintaining an awareness of the inner self, in whatever manner you may employ. A bit of introspection, self awareness, and inner growth is needed, in order to pull off this difficult feat! In the end it is worth it. Not only for yourself, but especially for those around you. 

 

It has nothing to do with Thailand. Wherever we go, we drag our minds along with us. For some of us, Thailand is a delightful place. Far better than Vietnam in my opinion. Especially Hanoi.

[polpott]

26 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

 

Not sure how serious you are being. But there are other factors to be taken into account. The process of getting older is not exactly one filled with dignity! I believe unless we are making a real effort to become a better man, on a daily basis, in whatever form that might take, we tend to slide backwards, and become a grumpier, less pleasant, and less positive version of ourselves. I have witnessed that with countless souls. That slide is inevitable. But, it can be prevented with good living, the right diet, plenty of cardio type exercise, a deliberate attempt to maintain a positive attitude, maintaining perspective (probably one of the hardest things to do in this life), surrounding yourself with good people (not your typical bored, upcountry drunks), and maintaining an awareness of the inner self, in whatever manner you may employ. A bit of introspection, self awareness, and inner growth is needed, in order to pull off this difficult feat! In the end it is worth it. Not only for yourself, but especially for those around you. 

 

It has nothing to do with Thailand. Wherever we go, we drag our minds along with us. For some of us, Thailand is a delightful place. Far better than Vietnam in my opinion. Especially Hanoi.

My wife has worked with older people with mental health issues for many years (UK). Through observation we have come to the same conclusion. A nice young person becomes an even nicer old person as they mature. An unpleasant young person becomes a much more unpleasant person as they grow older. Its all about losing inhibitions in old age, which accentuate your natural characteristics.

 

Ergo: if you're a grumpy old man you probably weren't very nice to know when you were young.

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, polpott said:

My wife has worked with older people with mental health issues for many years (UK). Through observation we have come to the same conclusion. A nice young person becomes an even nicer old person as they mature. An unpleasant young person becomes a much more unpleasant person as they grow older. Its all about losing inhibitions in old age, which accentuate your natural characteristics.

 

Ergo: if you're a grumpy old man you probably weren't very nice to know when you were young.

What a massive, utterly meaningless  generalisation, that has no basis in fact, or in fiction.