THE WEEK THAT WAS When is a panda not a panda? When it's a policeman!

[rooster59]

 

One of Thailand’s longest running TV variety shows truly comes of age this week. Khadee Det ("Excellent Cases" is a fair translation) started on September 9th 2000 and is required Saturday afternoon viewing on Channel 7 for millions including this columnist.

 

With a few tweaks over the years it has essentially followed the same format with the same presenter for 21 years, the wonderfully deadpan Phisit Kiratikankun. 

 

He’ll introduce the show (1.15 to 2.30 pm) that contains the weird, wacky and humorous cases that the Royal Thai Police have to deal with. It features hapless members of the public who go to the police station with requests well out of the remit of Khun Plod.

 

There’s a swift dramatization of the “case” (a reenactment if you will) followed by the “jao khong khadee” or owner of the case, the policeman or woman, explaining in their own words what happened.

 

They usually manage not to laugh, which only makes it even funnier.

 

All the while there are some great voice overs in the standard slapstick Thai style. Viewers get a chance to win a prize by voting for their best clip of the week. 

 

I would thoroughly recommend it for at least two reasons. Try recording it and playing back, maybe with a Thai speaker handy, to learn Thai language. Or just try and figure it out as a window into Thai culture. It could become addictive along the lines of what has become the “Amazing Thailand” genre in ASEAN NOW news. 

 

It’s no wonder that the RTP approves of the show; it presents them in a warm and fuzzy light. After last week’s column that bashed the RTP to pieces (and was well liked)  it's just as well to remember that they are only human (well mostly) and have a tough job to do.

 

I mean have you ever had to deal with the Thai public…..

 

This week on our hallowed forum the police continued to play a starring role though thankfully they were far more photogenic and funny in the last seven days than the politicians.

 

Leading the way was a video featuring Pol Gen Suwat Chaengyodsuk who took up the RTP reins last September promising a new, cleaner force. He’d even ditched his specs and looked very dapper.

 

He starred in a video with a superhero introducing a pilot project to make Thailand safer - Smart Safety Zone 4.0.

 

In a series of segments that would have made the Khadee Det producers proud we were told how from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, Pattaya to Phuket, we would now be able to walk the streets safely (while Big Brother watched us…)

 

Coming from the UK that has the most CCTV in the world, Rooster  knows all about that. Most people accept we are safer when observed and are prepared to give way to some Orwellian angst.

 

In the 15 pilot areas in Thailand there will be S.O.S. panic buttons to get plod scurrying to the scene of the crime. I believe that meant Save Our Souls and not Slow Old Sergeant. 

 

Anyway, it sounds like a good initiative on paper. And the humor of the video and the reporting of it was a welcome break from more serious news. 

 

The other crime that was right out of the Amazing Thailand playbook won’t feature on Khadee Det because it involved a shooting.

 

Everyone wondered who was the burly looking guy who robbed a gold shop in Big C in Pak Chong dressed in the unmistakable pink garb of a Food Panda delivery guy.

 

Pak Chong police made a quick arrest the next day after officers at the nick recognised the gait of the man behind the sunnies and black balaclava.

 

Unfortunately it was one of their own, 25 year old corporal Anucha who readily admitted to stealing the 3.5 million baht of gold jewelry and shooting the owner of the store after he resisted. 

 

Police in Bang Len were left to pick up the pieces after Thammathat, 25, behind the wheel of an Isuzu, lost control on a bend and hit a wall.

 

His vehicle looked like one that had been crushed in those machines at second-hand yards. Yet he was perched on the bonnet (hood) as right as rain.

 

Somehow his mum was on the scene scurrying around collecting the fresh market-bound prawns that had been deposited over half of Nakhon Pathom.

 

In true protective mumsy style she wouldn’t dream of blaming her son for the accident picking on the street lights instead. 

 

In English bad workmen castigate their tools but in Thailand the expression is “ram mai dee thot pii thot klong” - if the music is bad blame the flute and drums.

 

Blaming the flute and drums as usual were the entire contents of parliament in the Thai national sport celebrated at least once a year since the year dot - a no confidence debate. 

 

Of course it’s not a debate. More a hurling of insults and untruths until the speaker calls a halt as he’s starving or the grandkids need picking up.

 

Then everyone goes back to doing just the same as before. 

 

This time Prayut denied wrongdoing in everything pandemic related. “Honest” Anutin entered the fray to agree with the boss and outline how wonderful and scrupulously clean he is - just like a well scrubbed medical man should be…..

 

He explained how he had procured the Chinese vaccine that would help save the day and even how its price had come down from $17 to a cut price $8.90. 

 

No one in the Thai press sought to ask him why he’d paid double at first. 

 

Yes, everything was for the benefit of the Thai people, a theme continued by tourism minister Pipat who was wheeled out to burble something about Sandboxes and the 120 day reopening masterplan, something that Prayut is now distancing himself from.

 

Yutthasak at the TAT admitted he was a tad off with his 100,000 Phuket visitor prediction (there were 26,400 in the first two months) but pointed out that everything would be well once the High Season arrived. Wisely he declined to feed the press with any more predictions. 

 

That was left to the eminently sensible Sittiwat, chief of the Association of Thai Travel Agents, who told them they were all barking (up the wrong tourism tree) and foreigners would not be returning in any numbers until October NEXT year at the earliest. 

 

Back in parliament a group of health honchos echoed Anutin praising the mix ‘n max vaccine strategy. Apparently one Sinovac and one AstraZeneca is as good as two AZ. 

 

Worryingly, one official said it was better to save lives than wait for the results of research. Yes, who needs clinical trials when there are plenty of willing lemmings queuing in their thousands for jabs.

 

A case in point was in Sriracha after the hospital there advertised 300 doses were available and more than 1,000 came from far and wide. Truly scary to see such scenes. 

 

In other political news Thamanat Prompow denied he was behind a plot to oust Prayut. If that was true he was probably the only member of the House who was. 

 

Amid all the to-ing and fro-ing many restrictions in deep red areas were eased. In Bangkok we were suddenly - and quite inexplicably - given back a lot of freedom. Forget having to be vaccinated, the restaurants were back to what they were like before the latest deadly wave (now referred to as both the third and fourth).

 

Rooster dashed out with his chicks to McDonalds on September 1st. Everyone was smiling and practicing their English and handing out two Big Macs for the price of one. 

 

The bonhomie was a little disconcerting at first. Lockdown has changed us for the worse I fear.

 

Next day after a trip to the Railway Park - where even the bicycles were being rented - I filled up the CBR with Gasohol 95 (335B OMG- the cost, not the licence plate).

 

The pump attendant asked me in good English where I was from. I responded and asked him expecting Burma to be the reply.

 

“I come from Thailand,” he said, “and my children are studying in Hong Kong”. 

 

Hopefully such charming and unexpected conversations are set to continue. Certainly the rhetoric in Thailand is shifting from lockdown to unlock and living with the virus. 

 

And with upwards of 800,000 people being vaxxed on many days, infections decreasing even if deaths remain similar, there is optimism in the air after a long dark period. 

 

In Hua Hin the “recharge” is on course even if the predictions are pie-in-the-sky but sadly the 429 million baht beach in Pattaya disappeared again. 

 

Hopefully the Smart Safety Zone cops will be able to find out where it's gone. Local officials plan to put in some barriers and a tunnel in the meantime.

 

Otherwise the Marine Department will have to engage in more of what was called “Beach Nourishment”. As Mr B. Trink used to eloquently say, any comment about that would be superfluous. 

 

Thankfully after TAT efforts in the sub-continent, Indians would soon be returning to Thailand in the proverbial droves. 

 

An Indian in Pathum Thani deserved condemnation, however, after cutting up a compatriot who dobbed him in for overstay.

 

On one of the Immigration Bureau’s famous vinyl boards an Indian man on overstay in another case was described as coming “from the land of paratha”. 

 

I think the IB had got the paratha value pack from Makro, or maybe they own Makro.

 

The IB in Surin came under scrutiny after underlings claimed they were forced to transfer Covid allowances into the bank account of a senior officer. 

 

Fallout from the “Joe Ferrari” case continued. Pol Col Thitisan and those in cahoots were transferred to Bangkok’s Klong Prem residence on Friday. Earlier a hospital in Nakhon Sawan said their victim Jirapong had suffocated rather than had an overdose. The forensic team had clearly seen all those plastic bags on CCTV, too.

 

An interesting story from Daily News featured a reformed drug dealer who got a death sentence commuted to life, got out after nearly 16 years, then turned his life around helping his family and a rescue foundation.

 

He, too, spoke of the plastic bag treatment years ago while officers “expanded their inquiry”.

 

A horrible story from Bangkok concerned a Thai wife who jumped to her death with an infant child from the ninth floor of a downtown condo after an argument with her Aussie husband. 

 

Such tragedy is all too easy to envisage for many who have married in Thailand. I’ve been involved in arguments where literally anything could have happened. Sincere condolences to all concerned. 

 

In investment news real estate firm Sansiri told us that half of all foreign buyers are Chinese who rent out their properties. They also expect boom times post Covid. 

 

Some who have already invested and got burned are foreign customers of a development firm called New Nordic. 

 

The DSI said it is taking up many claims from allegedly ripped-off foreigners in projects throughout the tourism areas of Thailand. 

 

Finally have a look at a video of what transpired at a bend in the road in Phan Thai Norasing sub-district of Samut Sakhon. 

 

You decide whether it was great parking or the actions of a blithering idiot. 

 

The area is named after a legendary character from Thai “history” called Norasing (phan thai=steersman) who famously crashed the king’s barge into an overhanging tree on a twisty stretch of klong. 

 

He insisted on being beheaded for the sake of honor even though the king at the time wanted to pardon him. There is a shrine there in memory of Norasing.

 

A noble man whose steering was also suspect. 

 

Rooster 

 

 

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[scorecard]

"The pump attendant asked me in good English where I was from. I responded and asked him expecting Burma to be the reply."

 

This paragraph reminds me of a situation maybe 20-25 years ago, on the ground level of CP tower there was a SONY service Centre. 

 

What was interesting was there was a big staff (M&F) who mostly sat and chatted whilst the security guard did 95%+ of the work:

 

- Greeting and listening customers

- Making an initial analysis of what the problem might be

- Offering various SONY services for repairs etc

- Documenting the name. tel no., etc of the owner.

- Putting the item with documents into an individual bin and into a shelf system

- Giving a nice good bye greeting to customers as they departed.

 

Plus:

- When the customer was a foreigner the security guard spoke good English, was respectful and helpful. I took a SONY handicam in and the young man was very helpful, good listener and he was well focused on getting the item repaired. He explained their process well and gave me a number to call in 2 weeks time. I did that and the repaired item was waiting for me to pick it up. I visited the shop, he asked me to test the camera and it worked well. He indicated that if there was any problem please come back. I paid the money (another lazy staff member was the cashier and she made it plain that all customers were a nuisance.)

 

About 3 or 4 months after I first noticed this situation suddenly the place had closed, all fittings and signs totally removed.

 

I never learned why it closed of course, but it would have been interesting to know why. 

 

[Will B Good]

Bit disappointed you gave us the answer.

[Mark mark]

50 minutes ago, scorecard said:

"The pump attendant asked me in good English where I was from. I responded and asked him expecting Burma to be the reply."

 

This paragraph reminds me of a situation maybe 20-25 years ago, on the ground level of CP tower there was a SONY service Centre. 

 

What was interesting was there was a big staff (M&F) who mostly sat and chatted whilst the security guard did 95%+ of the work:

 

- Greeting and listening customers

- Making an initial analysis of what the problem might be

- Offering various SONY services for repairs etc

- Documenting the name. tel no., etc of the owner.

- Putting the item with documents into an individual bin and into a shelf system

- Giving a nice good bye greeting to customers as they departed.

 

Plus:

- When the customer was a foreigner the security guard spoke good English, was respectful and helpful. I took a SONY handicam in and the young man was very helpful, good listener and he was well focused on getting the item repaired. He explained their process well and gave me a number to call in 2 weeks time. I did that and the repaired item was waiting for me to pick it up. I visited the shop, he asked me to test the camera and it worked well. He indicated that if there was any problem please come back. I paid the money (another lazy staff member was the cashier and she made it plain that all customers were a nuisance.)

 

About 3 or 4 months after I first noticed this situation suddenly the place had closed, all fittings and signs totally removed.

 

I never learned why it closed of course, but it would have been interesting to know why. 

 

Ptt used to have mostly Burmese working in it's drive way, but last time I was there it had swung back to more Thai, ... but our a bit more distant local Caltex, and a different new, Ptt near it ALWAYS has Burmese ??? ... 

[Mark mark]

Yes Rooster !!! Very Nice Parking !!! ... Lucky he did not hit any thing !!! ... Nice Vid !!!

[Tropicalevo]

14 hours ago, rooster59 said:

In Bangkok we were suddenly - and quite inexplicably - given back a lot of freedom.

It was not inexplicable. It was timed for the 'vote of confidence'.

Uncle Tu would say 'See (false?) numbers are coming down, we have opened up the skies and dark red zones are more open as well'.

'I AM doing a good job!.'

PS Still love your Sunday precise.

PPS Do not be surprised if the numbers start to go up again now that the vote is finished. Happy to be proved wrong.

 

Edited September 5, 2021 by Tropicalevo

[rumak]

For quite a while about the only thing i enjoyed about this forum was that I could take a little

jab ( no, not the vaccine, thanks)  at rooster and mrs rooster and mcdonalds (really?)

 

the nice thing is mr R  would not go crying to his buddies that rumak was a PITA.    guess i kinda liked him for that.

 

Now,  i take a glance over here on sundays...... why not?     its pretty enjoyable

 

then,  its off again down the road to the other forum ....... and NO,  this is not an invitation for the

many blankity blank (as what's inside your head, blank)   to join me.  

   From Rumak,  with Love 

[BostonRob2]

57 minutes ago, rumak said:

For quite a while about the only thing i enjoyed about this forum was that I could take a little

jab ( no, not the vaccine, thanks)  at rooster and mrs rooster and mcdonalds (really?)

 

the nice thing is mr R  would not go crying to his buddies that rumak was a PITA.    guess i kinda liked him for that.

 

Now,  i take a glance over here on sundays...... why not?     its pretty enjoyable

 

then,  its off again down the road to the other forum ....... and NO,  this is not an invitation for the

many blankity blank (as what's inside your head, blank)   to join me.  

   From Rumak,  with Love 

Rooster never thought you were a PITA bread, more like a wholesome country loaf, possibly a tad crusty but good for toast. 

 

You speak with forked tongue of another forum? 

 

Anyway, thx for coming ????

[biggles45]

CCTV can be very effective in crime control but only if they are maintained and working. I doubt that will be the case here as maintenance/repair is not a priority

[rumak]

3 hours ago, BostonRob2 said:

 

You speak with forked tongue of another forum? 

Thou must find the truth by yourself,   white man.    Try "thailand based forums"    ????

[yankyoakum]

Nice synopsis of the week in the rear view mirror, appreciated the humor.....Now onward thru the weeds...

[kickstart]

On 9/4/2021 at 7:57 PM, rooster59 said:

One of Thailand’s longest running TV variety shows truly comes of age this week. Khadee Det ("Excellent Cases" is a fair translation) started on September 9th 2000 and is required Saturday afternoon viewing on Channel 7 for millions including this columnist.

I am certain that I watched it  on Thai TV back in 1993.

Talk about that nothing changes in LOS ,I am  more certain that is the same jumper and jacket he has been wearing since then.