The 4 letter word called "love".

[Tanomazu]

4 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

How did they "invent" the physiological reaction that comes with pair bonding?  Releases of endorphins, imprinting and literal phycological attachment, etc?  Did they force the human body to change?

That's really a fantastic question.

 

I suppose we know that the human body changes according to the environment, thus IQ is affected by environment, woman menstruates far earlier now because of what they eat, since fat cells produce more estrogen.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/92830610/the-reason-girls-are-getting-their-period-earlier

 

It's perfectly possible that as the male traded provisioning for sexual access, and saw his efforts be accepted, that as the female realised she was about to be assured increased food supply from a male offering provisioning for sexual access that this lead to hormonal processes in both. After all for both these net outcomes, sexual access and assured food supply, were highly desirable outcomes and it would be in the body's interest to reward both.

 

Edited September 22, 2021 by Tanomazu

[Johnny Mac]

8 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's on threads like this I miss Britman2. He always had something insightful to add about the "insanity" we describe as "love".

What happened to him? I noticed he was missing...and yes he could be funny.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

How did they "invent" the physiological reaction that comes with pair bonding?  Releases of endorphins, imprinting and literal phycological attachment, etc?  Did they force the human body to change?

No. they developed other means of keeping people together, like laws that said divorce was not permitted.

What lust joins together, the law will force to stay together.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Johnny Mac said:

What happened to him? I noticed he was missing...and yes he could be funny.

I could guess, but I think we are not allowed to discuss specifics about other posters.

[swissie]

On 9/21/2021 at 5:05 PM, Tanomazu said:

Okay, because they're highly promiscuous.

Bonobos have a maternalistic society (bullies have no say). A very peaceful crowd. Chimpansees have a paternalistic society (the bullies have a lot to say). Not so peaceful. Resembling human society.

[Tanomazu]

1 minute ago, swissie said:

Bonobos have a maternalistic society (bullies have no say). A very peaceful crowd. Chimpansees have a paternalistic society (the bullies have a lot to say). Not so peaceful. Resembling human society.

"Despite their reputation as friendly pacifists, bonobos don't necessarily spread the love around when it comes to reproduction. New research suggests just a few males father most of the offspring in bonobos communities.

 

However, when scientists tested the paternity of 24 bonobos born between 2002 to 2013 in a community living in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, they found the most sexually successful male fathered 60 percent of the subsequent generation.

When it comes to fathering offspring, bonobo society appears to be more hierarchical than chimpanzee communities.

 

Female bonobos may simply choose the most attractive option, with multiple females mating with the same dominant male."

 

https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2017/07/10/In-bonobo-communities-just-a-few-males-monopolize-reproduction/3531499718904/

 

So the net result is exactly the same as in chimpanzee society, with lower ranked males resorting to offering provisioning for sexual access.

[swissie]

17 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Indeed. I agree with your OP, but we all think ( at some stage of our life ) that we NEED "love". I think Prince Charles said it best in relation to Diana  when he said "Whatever 'in love' means."

 

We all hate being dumped, and IMO the worst part is that we often don't know WHY? Sometimes we work it out years later.

I'm sorry to say that I too have been a dumper, and didn't tell them why either, but that was long ago when I didn't know much of anything, if that is an excuse.

Sometimes perhaps, the truth would be even more hurtful than not knowing. I told my ex partner that I was leaving her because of her children, but would she have preferred being told I was dumping her because she had become an intolerant, using, nasty, monstrous <deleted> and losing everything to be rid of her was "worth it" to not have to be around her anymore?

We can expand on the subject: When love turns to hate!

My uncle was a divorce lawyer for over 30 years. Routinely he told me abot cases where love has turned to hate. Bringing out the worst in humans. Especially when it not only comes to defend ones interests, but when it's about distroying the former partner. Mentally and financially.

- And all this between 2 people that once swore "eternal love" to each other.

 

[swissie]

9 hours ago, Tanomazu said:

That's really a fantastic question.

 

I suppose we know that the human body changes according to the environment, thus IQ is affected by environment, woman menstruates far earlier now because of what they eat, since fat cells produce more estrogen.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/92830610/the-reason-girls-are-getting-their-period-earlier

 

It's perfectly possible that as the male traded provisioning for sexual access, and saw his efforts be accepted, that as the female realised she was about to be assured increased food supply from a male offering provisioning for sexual access that this lead to hormonal processes in both. After all for both these net outcomes, sexual access and assured food supply, were highly desirable outcomes and it would be in the body's interest to reward both.

 

It seems that males are still "provisioning for sexual access". Even among couples with a pre-nuptual agreement (50/50 cost sharing), over the years, males contribute financially more than females.

Last date with a female? The male has likely paid for the food, drinks and the flowers. = "provisioning for sexual access".

[StreetCowboy]

9 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

"Despite their reputation as friendly pacifists, bonobos don't necessarily spread the love around when it comes to reproduction. New research suggests just a few males father most of the offspring in bonobos communities.

 

However, when scientists tested the paternity of 24 bonobos born between 2002 to 2013 in a community living in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, they found the most sexually successful male fathered 60 percent of the subsequent generation.

When it comes to fathering offspring, bonobo society appears to be more hierarchical than chimpanzee communities.

 

Female bonobos may simply choose the most attractive option, with multiple females mating with the same dominant male."

 

https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2017/07/10/In-bonobo-communities-just-a-few-males-monopolize-reproduction/3531499718904/

 

So the net result is exactly the same as in chimpanzee society, with lower ranked males resorting to offering provisioning for sexual access.

Except that the ladies want nice children, so the nice chaps father them, rather than the bullies.
That's pretty much the way it is in my family, but I don't know if a bully has fathered your children.

[swissie]

9 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

"Despite their reputation as friendly pacifists, bonobos don't necessarily spread the love around when it comes to reproduction. New research suggests just a few males father most of the offspring in bonobos communities.

 

However, when scientists tested the paternity of 24 bonobos born between 2002 to 2013 in a community living in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, they found the most sexually successful male fathered 60 percent of the subsequent generation.

When it comes to fathering offspring, bonobo society appears to be more hierarchical than chimpanzee communities.

 

Female bonobos may simply choose the most attractive option, with multiple females mating with the same dominant male."

 

https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2017/07/10/In-bonobo-communities-just-a-few-males-monopolize-reproduction/3531499718904/

 

So the net result is exactly the same as in chimpanzee society, with lower ranked males resorting to offering provisioning for sexual access.

Wasen't there a Rod Steward song" Some guys get all the girls"?  The 10% of Alpha-Boys, I suppose. The rest of us, the Betha Boys, will have to settle for for what the Alpha Boys have left over for us.

[Tanomazu]

18 minutes ago, swissie said:

Wasen't there a Rod Steward song" Some guys get all the girls"?  The 10% of Alpha-Boys, I suppose. The rest of us, the Betha Boys, will have to settle for for what the Alpha Boys have left over for us.

Well exactly. Even among the Bonobo there are still Alpha males. The males at the top of the hierarchy have to have a way to get there. How do they get there in pacifist Bonobo society?

 

That's just the thing though, the Beta boys did not settle for what was left. They approached the females with offers of provisioning. They agreed to be faithful in return, and thus was pair bonding born. And the family. And then romantic love.

Edited September 22, 2021 by Tanomazu

[Tanomazu]

22 minutes ago, StreetCowboy said:

Except that the ladies want nice children, so the nice chaps father them, rather than the bullies.
That's pretty much the way it is in my family, but I don't know if a bully has fathered your children.

Nope. The Alpha males father them. Bonobo society is even more hierarchical than Chimpanzee society. And even in Bonobo society the way to establish hierarchy is the same as everywhere.

 

Though gals pretend they like the nice guys, they almost all sneak around to copulate with the Alpha male. That's Bonobos for you.

[StreetCowboy]

11 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

Nope. The Alpha males father them. Bonobo society is even more hierarchical than Chimpanzee society. And even in Bonobo society the way to establish hierarchy is the same as everywhere.

 

Though gals pretend they like the nice guys, they almost all sneak around to copulate with the Alpha male. That's Bonobos for you.

Well, that's not the way it was told to me in a documentary, so I will take note of your opinion.  
I don't know how it works in your household, but in my household the nice guy fathered my children.

[jak2002003]

On 9/21/2021 at 8:52 PM, zzaa09 said:

Love doesn't exist. 

Pretend that it might, though.

Really?  You don't love your children, your parents or closest friends, or even your pet dog or cat?  

 

Many people seem to confuse love with lust.

 

Lust will always eventually wear off over time, but love can last a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[swissie]

1 hour ago, Tanomazu said:

Nope. The Alpha males father them. Bonobo society is even more hierarchical than Chimpanzee society. And even in Bonobo society the way to establish hierarchy is the same as everywhere.

It seems that males are still "provisioning for sexual access". Even among couples with a pre-nuptual agreement (50/50 cost sharing), over the years, males contribute financially more than females.
Last date with a female? The male has likely paid for the food, drinks and the flowers. = "provisioning for sexual access".

Though gals pretend they like the nice guys, they almost all sneak around to copulate with the Alpha male. That's Bonobos for you.It seems that males are still "provisioning for sexual access". Even among couples with a pre-nuptual agreement (50/50 cost sharing), over the years, males contribute financially more than females.
Last date with a female? The male has likely paid for the food, drinks and the flowers. = "provisioning for sexual access".

Quote: "Though gals pretend they like the nice guys, they almost all sneak around to copulate with the Alpha male.

 

How right you are. But don't spread it around. The Betha Boys may get restless. Heaven forbid! Them representing 90% of the male population. Them supporting the well-being of a large part of the female  universe, but reaping only little benefits from the female universe, comperatively.

[OneMoreFarang]

 

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, swissie said:

We can expand on the subject: When love turns to hate!

My uncle was a divorce lawyer for over 30 years. Routinely he told me abot cases where love has turned to hate. Bringing out the worst in humans. Especially when it not only comes to defend ones interests, but when it's about distroying the former partner. Mentally and financially.

us
- And all this between 2 people that once swore "eternal love" to each other.

 

Ying and Yang. IMO love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

 

Perhaps it's because when we love we give a part of our soul to the loved, and when they reject us it is a rejection of everything we are, and that is a mortal blow to our ego.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Oh my, I think she was singing, but I didn't notice. Can't say I've seen that much sex appeal flaunted before, and she is even not bad looking to boot.

Wonder how many hearts she has destroyed?

 

She sure has the "look" down to perfection.

Edited September 22, 2021 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, jak2002003 said:

Really?  You don't love your children, your parents or closest friends, or even your pet dog or cat?  

 

Many people seem to confuse love with lust.

 

Lust will always eventually wear off over time, but love can last a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English is a very poor language to convey differences in meaning of the same word. Mother love is very different from romantic love.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, swissie said:

Wasen't there a Rod Steward song" Some guys get all the girls"?  The 10% of Alpha-Boys, I suppose. The rest of us, the Betha Boys, will have to settle for for what the Alpha Boys have left over for us.

Not necessarily so. Some of us see the light and reject all romantic relationships. It took me a lifetime to see the light, but I did in the end.

NB that does not preclude relationships based only on sex.

[zzaa09]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

English is a very poor language to convey differences in meaning of the same word. Mother love is very different from romantic love.

....as is the difference for the love of life and one's surroundings.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Oh my, I think she was singing, but I didn't notice. Can't say I've seen that much sex appeal flaunted before, and she is even not bad looking to boot.

Wonder how many hearts she has destroyed?

 

She sure has the "look" down to perfection.

One more just or you. ????

 

[Mavrix]

Love is just like a Balance Sheet on a Companies Financials....snapshot of where everything is at at that exact time....not a day before, nor a day after.

 

..........now the Profit & Loss is something entirely different.

[1FinickyOne]

On 9/21/2021 at 9:13 PM, bobandyson said:

What is love? Ask 100 people and you'll get 200 different answers.

maybe start with what is math?

[Tanomazu]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

One more just or you. ????

 

What a supreme talent, to not only be able to sing like that, but also play the piano at the same time.

 

Just to crush the illusion though, Benedetta has of course grabbed herself an Alpha Male, Stejpan Hauser, so she is taken unfortunately.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

What a supreme talent, to not only be able to sing like that, but also play the piano at the same time.

 

Just to crush the illusion though, Benedetta has of course grabbed herself an Alpha Male, Stejpan Hauser, so she is taken unfortunately.

 

 

I am happy to see her and listen to her on YouTube. I am sure she is high maintenance which few of us would be able to afford - if she would even look at us for just a second.

This most be the one in a million girl that song was about...

[Tanomazu]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I am happy to see her and listen to her on YouTube. I am sure she is high maintenance which few of us would be able to afford - if she would even look at us for just a second.

This most be the one in a million girl that song was about...

She probably would be high maintenance. She does sing like one in a million and probably knows it very well.

 

Goes to show there is no justice in the world when Lady Gaga is a major star but this girl who can actually sing is not.

[TKDfella]

The part about 'take a cold shower' is a bit dated now. Cold showers actually invigorate etc. but if you want calm down, relax etc. take a hot bath.????

[BusyB]

On 9/21/2021 at 3:22 PM, Kadilo said:

Did you get dumped then?

I was about to ask the savant to what we owe these words of wisdom ... but yours'll do just as well ;D

[RafPinto]

16 hours ago, StreetCowboy said:

Well, that's not the way it was told to me in a documentary, so I will take note of your opinion.  
I don't know how it works in your household, but in my household the nice guy fathered my children.

I know.

I enjoyed it.