People say that there's a thin line between love and hate. And you can't hate someone unless you loved them. Why is that?

I am sorry

I love you

Words or meanings?

I think love can mean almost anything you want it to. It's an ill-defined word at best. My GF believes that jealousy is love. I rather think not.

I also think that if you love without reservation then saying, "I'm sorry" with true sincerety is the easiest thing in the world to do. It's the desire to bring comfort to a loved one whom you may have caused pain. I'm more than willingly to apologize even in situations where I know I wasn't the cause of the pain though I was perceived as the source of it. Can go a long way in diffusing tense emotional situations if spoken with genuineness.

People say that there's a thin line between love and hate. And you can't hate someone unless you loved them. Why is that?

I think the thin line represents the difference between someone pleasing you and behaving in a way that makes you happy and someone not pleasing you and behaving in a way that does not make you happy. They also say that love is fickle. I believe that love is unwaveringly constant but it is we who are fickle about love. Our focus tends to be all over the place with little guidance by us.

I believe that the object which you direct your hate towards represents the opposite of the object that you love. If the object is a person then I think that you may certainly be capable of first hating someone without ever loving them; in fact, without even knowing them at all. Think of any person you've read or heard about on the news who's commited acts of violation. These people are beyond our current ability to love. Perhaps only by their mothers.

Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

Love is when you roll over in the morning and a fart sneaks out and your other half laughs. Romance is not dead.

Love is when you roll over in the morning and a fart sneaks out and your other half laughs. Romance is not dead.

Just make sure you're not lighting any candles.

All in all, I would contend that most people are confused about love - what it truly is and what it is not. And especially when it comes to practicing love. Now, that certainly includes me, too. I have been avidly questioning for a long time, though, and the more I learn the more questions I seem to have. Most of my questions regard the application of love in all aspects of daily life.

When am I being loving and when am I not? As a human, what's my ultimate capacity to love? Could I ever become pure love? And is pure love what I really am?

Silly questions? Not to me. I see what love can accomplish. I see what hate can accomplish. The differences are stark, indeed. And since it's my life, and only my life, and since it's my choice, and only my choice, then what do I prefer to choose for my life. Hate or love? How would it affect the quality and value fulfillment of my life?

I'll relate a rather bizarre experience I had some years back. I was in a situation where love was taken away from me. It was a deeply painful experience. One night while I was at work I again found myself in the midst of profound agony. Sitting almost doubled over on the toilet, which was the only place I knew I would have privacy, I began to feel intense love directed towards me. And I mean intense. Where the <deleted> it came from I can't say for sure, though I have my ideas about it.

I consider myself as rational and skeptical as most anyone but the feeling, the experience, was undeniable. After a few moments into this experience I got up and walked out into the factory. Amazement took over as I felt this same degree of love for everyone I looked at, regardless of what my normal feelings for and opinions of the persons were, even for those I didn't particularly hold high. I remember feeling almost ashamed that I would see them in any other light. I had trouble containing my tears and fought hard to keep myself from outright bawling. The intensity of feeling lasted perhaps 20 minutes before I felt 'normalcy' returning.

Since then I yearn for a return to that feeling. It comes back now and again, usually when I allow myself to love, but never yet to that same degree. So now I've become a proponent of love. Perhaps there's such a thing as comprehension which needs no supportive rationalization. You simply know. But that doesn't prevent you from attempting to rationalize it anyway.

An eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth? Naw. I just don't think it works. The Arabs and Israelites have been practicing that philosophy for how long now? I don't think true answers can be found if they are not rooted in love. Nor do I believe true answers could ever be understood by any who insist on solving problems through hatred.

Does that open up the floor?

What you experienced is called "metta" or loving kindness. You can cultivate it in your life through practice.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors...a/wheel365.html

http://www.feedback.nildram.co.uk/richarde...ation/metta.htm

What you experienced is called "metta" or loving kindness. You can cultivate it in your life through practice.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors...a/wheel365.html

http://www.feedback.nildram.co.uk/richarde...ation/metta.htm

Thanks for the links, lannarebirth. I read through the sites and thought the exercises described in the second link were excellent. Their basis is very much in line with what I've come to learn.

oh shut up!!! all of you just shut the fukc up!

"What is Love?" Jeese has Bedlam gone to the Dogs??

In OZ LUV is a big can of Dog food..

To Kayo its a few Baht (Smart Wabbit)

To the Tiger its a soft brain..

To Miggy its a dead Dog..

To the Duick its a cool pond with lots of Lady Ducks and reeds to hide in..

to Terry 57 its a Big Hose with a Brass Knob..

to DJT its a Big Frothy German Ale..

I guess what I'm saying is love is all things to all people..

Love ain't nothing but B!@#^s n' Money!!

What's This Thing Called Love? (Cole Porter)

I Want To Know What Love Is (Foreigner)

. . .

The Facts Of Love (Jeff Lorber)

. . .

The Power Of Love (Huey Lewis & The News)

I Want Love (Elton John)

. . . this

Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen)

because

Love Is Like An Itching In My Heart (Dianna Ross)

When You Tell Me That You Love Me (Dianna Ross)

then I have to ask:

How Deep Is Your Love? (Bee Gees)

Don't Say You Love Me (M2M)

Show Me Love (Robyn)

. . .

Gimme Some Love (Gina G)

If You Want My Love (Richard Elliot)

and it's

No Ordinary Love (Sade)

but

100% Pure Love (Crystal Waters)

You Only Have To Say You Love Me (Hannah Jones)

and then

Tonight I Will Celebrate My Love For You (Roberta Flack)

In

A World Filled With Love (Craig David)

Love Will Keep Us Together (Captain & Tennille)

Jump (For My Love) (Pointer Sisters)

and let's take a ride on the

Love Train (O'Jays)

to

The Sea Of Love (Name Of The Rose)

where

I Just Want To Make Love 2U (Etta James)

with

Burning Love (Elvis Presley)

and

I'm Gonna Love You All Over (Four Tops)

Love Me Tender (Elvis Presley)

just as

Jesus Loves Me (Whitney Houston)

or we'll be just

Another Sad Love Song (Toni Braxton)

If you want to know what love is, just listen to the music.

If you want to know what love is, just listen to the music.

Would I say I love you, just to get in your pants........... I think so (Van Halen,maybe)

Love ain't nothing but B!@#^s n' Money!!

That's a Buckcherry song.

People say that there's a thin line between love and hate. And you can't hate someone unless you loved them. Why is that?

I think this is another song! I don't get the bit about "can't hate someone unless you loved them"?

Then agai, I am feeling wooly headed today so it may just be me!

Thanks Thip, and Im equally pleased that you have moved on now. At the end of the day the secret to a full life is happiness and if you are both happier apart than together then its for the best.

Very true about happiness being the goal in life, quiksilva.

A question I usually have about relationships that sour, wither and die is whether things had to turn out that way. Had the words during a quarrel been soft to facilitate soothing rather than grating to inflict hurt, had they been words chosen with utmost care to promote a return to harmony rather than antagonisms spewed with purposeful intention to demean. In how many ways could many of the conflicts have been approached with an open heart that have would served to soften and abate simmering and unchecked emotions?

I always wonder how things might of been had I been a better man myself. Somehow I believe they would have turned out much differently.

I agree about what you said regarding when things are not going well (and lets face it we all have those times when the darker shades of our characters see the light of the day) and yes it can be very difficult. I think you almost have to physical take stock of your situation and remind yourself that despite the "warts and all" , those true feelings for your partner are still simmering away underneath.

I think that the critical thing here is that you actually have to want to take stock of your situation. When you don't want to embrace all those feelings any more I think they sadly start to cool. This is why I think they say that you have to work at a relationship, and whilst its only been 7 years we have definitely had those moments when we have had to work at it.

Well said. Someone once told me that appreciation is the key. It's served me well. I always advise my GF to first remember the love whenever she feels angry about something. That should soothe her anger and, as you say, cause her to take stock of the situation.

Cheers, quiksilva.

Tip

People say that there's a thin line between love and hate. And you can't hate someone unless you loved them. Why is that?

I think this is another song! I don't get the bit about "can't hate someone unless you loved them"?

Then agai, I am feeling wooly headed today so it may just be me!

This may be reference to a sense of betrayal which some suffer from when they suspect love was not reciprocal. The resulting hatred on their part might suggest that their love was conditional.

PS Oh wise one . your head seems to be so "wooly" (sic) headed your spelling has gone to pot. Glad you had a good birthday bash and hope your hangover is gone tomorrow.

True, relationships need hard work, but sometimes even hard work just isn't enough. Every human being is insecure about something - looks, competition, attention, security, bad experiences from the past (previous relationships, accidents, traumatic childhood included), societal demands, what's kewl, what's chic, etc. Most differences happen because couples have different insecurites and needs, and we're not always capable of meeting each other's needs and/or reassuring each other about our insecurities. Yes, we do try to compromise, but in the end, it all comes down to how much you want to give, how much you understand your partner. Yes, couples do talk and communicate with each other, but we don't talk 24 hours a day non-stop. Life is ON, it's happening right now and it never stops (unless of course we're no longer alive). So what am I saying? There's plenty of room to f*uc*k things up!

In relationships, no one has to win and it is not always 50/50. When one partner only gives 40% of his time, effort, etc. in the relationship, the other partner normally gives 60% to balance the equation (100%). The problem starts when a couple can no longer keep the 100% equation. S*hit starts to hit the roof. Someone's not patient enough, not giving enough, etc. It's tricky because one person cannot possibly give 50 + x in the relationship all the time. Giving is important. Timing even more!

True, we can prolong the inevitable, but we can never stop it. I used to hold-on to relationships just because I didn't want to throw a a year or two of good memories (+ loads of bad ones, but the good memories were the ones I clung to) because I thought it would be a waste to throw them in the bin. I didn't know what life was all about then. When the faces have all gone, (when the music stops playing, when the booze stops flowing, when the parties no longer make you laugh) all we have left are the memories, so it is never a waste....... we all know that even roses wither and fade away, but we don't kill it... we plant it!

And I'm a romantic. I believe that each of us (those who believe) was born for someone special. So, if you are with someone special, savor every moment. Make it work. Give. Be more patient. Don't leave room for ???????? and regrets - 5 years, 10 years or 20 years down the road. Remember that relationships are very much capable of out-living roses for decades!

People say that there's a thin line between love and hate. And you can't hate someone unless you loved them. Why is that?

I think this is another song! I don't get the bit about "can't hate someone unless you loved them"?

Then agai, I am feeling wooly headed today so it may just be me!

This may be reference to a sense of betrayal which some suffer from when they suspect love was not reciprocal. The resulting hatred on their part might suggest that their love was conditional.

PS Oh wise one . your head seems to be so "wooly" (sic) headed your spelling has gone to pot. Glad you had a good birthday bash and hope your hangover is gone tomorrow.

Thanks FS. Not quite hungover, just too much vino and a late night! Regarding my spelling, I can't spell for toffie! And even more crucial, I don't proof-reed my posts.

ps Aint GF a sweetie!