What would you do if a 14 Year old Thai guy called you a cheating Dirty Farang?

[falangUK]

How would you react if a 14 Year old Thai who you've been coaching (free) daily called you a cheating dirty farang because you pointed out that he was cheating in a game of basketball?

Father is fairly pleasant with the interactions I've had. The "kid" a 120kg giant layabout, treats the father in a pretty offhanded way too. 

I was feeling rather bad (because I hate confrontations) after the incident and tried twice to extend the proverbial olive branch, but the <deleted> just ignored me and walked off both times.

What would you have done?

What would you do in future encounters?

Of course the TGF is 100% I am at fault because I am not Thai ???? 
 

[London Lowf]

Deserved or not, you clearly have an attitude problem towards the kid and he has one towards you.

 

I suggest you walk away

[Mac Mickmanus]

The Kid and your TGF were right , you need to stop cheating when playing basketball and you should apologise  and promise not to cheat again 

[Gold ticket]

Do you have children ?  Do you consult forums about whether to smack their bums ?

As stated above, walk. 

 

[falangUK]

6 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

The Kid and your TGF were right , you need to stop cheating when playing basketball and you should apologise  and promise not to cheat again 

I am the coach! I didn't play

[dj230]

how well do you know the kid? you coach him in basketball, does he always talk like this? 

[falangUK]

1 minute ago, Gold ticket said:

Do you have children ?  Do you consult forums about whether to smack their bums ?

As stated above, walk. 

 

No to both!

Also don't believe in corporal punishment

[falangUK]

3 minutes ago, dj230 said:

how well do you know the kid? you coach him in basketball, does he always talk like this? 

Hmm, good questions ???? ,

how well do you know the kid?

I don't know him all that well. Only for about 2 months. 

 

Does he always talk like this? 

no he is aloof, I try to to very friendly with everyone. He does shot at the other like that at times. 

Edited March 24, 2022 by falangUK

[redsongthaew]

30 minutes ago, falangUK said:

Of course the TGF is 100% I am at fault because I am not Thai

Get a new girlfriend, and next time make a better choice.

 

As for the kid, stop coaching him.

 

Why are you wasting your life dealing with negative people?

[mrwebb8825]

The gf may be 100% right "culturally" that it was your fault for the outburst, not the cheating depending on HOW you called him on it.

 

What to do about it - it's too late to "mend fences" if they haven't been already so just "pretend" the whole process never existed. There was never any coaching, never any outburst, never even met the kid and move along with your life.

Treat him like a snake encountered in the forest. "My Way, Your Way" is how the wife explained it to me. Means simply don't mess with things that might bite you. 

[falangUK]

1 hour ago, redsongthaew said:

Get a new girlfriend, and next time make a better choice.

Hmm. probably be on my own for a while and enjoy life ???? rent as you go vs buy ???? 

[falangUK]

52 minutes ago, mrwebb8825 said:

The gf may be 100% right "culturally" that it was your fault for the outburst, not the cheating depending on HOW you called him on it.

 

What to do about it - it's too late to "mend fences" if they haven't been already so just "pretend" the whole process never existed. There was never any coaching, never any outburst, never even met the kid and move along with your life.

Treat him like a snake encountered in the forest. "My Way, Your Way" is how the wife explained it to me. Means simply don't mess with things that might bite you. 

Thanks for a well balanced and a well thought out response ????

This is a good general structure for me to apply for many other uncomfortable situations in life.

BTW is the wife Thai? Didn't even know Thais had  "My Way, Your Way" thing.

Thanks again! owe you lots of beers ????

Edited March 24, 2022 by falangUK

[ukrules]

2 hours ago, falangUK said:

How would you react if a 14 Year old Thai who you've been coaching (free) daily called you a cheating dirty farang because you pointed out that he was cheating in a game of basketball?

I would stop coaching him and never have anything to do with him again.

 

If his friends (if he has any) all start causing trouble then I'd just walk away and never do any of these ungreatful morons any kind of service ever again.

 

Don't go out of your way to help those who clearly hate you, ever.

[falangUK]

32 minutes ago, ukrules said:

I would stop coaching him and never have anything to do with him again.

 

If his friends (if he has any) all start causing trouble then I'd just walk away and never do any of these ungreatful morons any kind of service ever again.

 

Don't go out of your way to help those who clearly hate you, ever.

Thank you so much for the advice ???? 

Yup truly ungrateful, unfriendly, disrespectful, stupid and lazy. Characteristics for a great future ???? 

[Gottfrid]

A 14 year old, 120 kg half man playing basket ball? I would like to see that. Is the weight because he is 2,14 m long?

However, A teen with a bad attitude is not uncommon. His mother would know better, though.

I think you will find it better to just leave the people that clearly deserve each other alone and get along with your life.

[peter zwart]

14 years - 120 kg - big mouth = Wrong character.

Or a very hard hand and feet of dad or let it go. Cant be helped anymore.

[cdemundo]

Young males teens to 20s are the demographic group that in my experience are most likely to be jerks.

 

Amateur coaches, (which I am guessing is what you are) often have difficulty providing correction in a way that young people consider it to be "constructive criticism".  Even pros, witness the famous mega jerk basketball coach Bobby Knight.

 

Add in cultural misunderstanding and it becomes a minefield.

 

As others have advised, walk away.

 

 

[Dcheech]

Classic. Used to play 2 on 2, rec style for exercise. We would play against Thai teams, whoever is around. Had more than a few Thai teams, who could not, would not, accept a happy medium for rules. They would hack the excrement out of you, travel, etc, when you would point it out, they would get in an argument about it. And you know Thais in a heated argument. Yeesh.  We were doing it for fun and exercise, they were doing it for a different reason.  

In your case, Thais never enjoy having their "faults" pointed out even coaching B Ball.  Good luck with that. You might be lucky too, didn't a Thai footie player just elbow smash a guy in the face, fracturing his cheekbone?! Uh huh. My favorite was the two badminton players who got in a fight, throwing chairs. punches, chasing each other around the court, heh.

 

 

[sipi]

The kid's health and attitude isn't your problem. He's the one looking at a heart attack.

Move on.

[BritManToo]

Best not to mix with male Thais. 

[ThailandRyan]

It is all about FACE and you made him loose it in front of others. You might want to move on and learn some Thai culture.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, falangUK said:

What would you do in future encounters?

Wouldn't be any as I'd never go near the brat again.

I certainly wouldn't be extending any olive branches.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, cdemundo said:

Young males teens to 20s are the demographic group that in my experience are most likely to be jerks.

 

Amateur coaches, (which I am guessing is what you are) often have difficulty providing correction in a way that young people consider it to be "constructive criticism".  Even pros, witness the famous mega jerk basketball coach Bobby Knight.

 

Add in cultural misunderstanding and it becomes a minefield.

 

As others have advised, walk away.

 

 

Don't walk, run. The brat's loss.

[Bert got kinky]

41 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said:

It is all about FACE and you made him loose it in front of others. You might want to move on and learn some Thai culture.

 

I don't agree with this.

In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult.

You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture?

Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude?

 

If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it.

If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future?

Edited March 25, 2022 by Bert got kinky

[thaibeachlovers]

Is the OP appreciated for coaching anyway- do they say thank you, wai? If not, why bother?

 

It's been a hard lesson for me to learn in life, but sometimes people just don't want some well intentioned person trying to help. I've always been keen to pass on the lessons I've learned, but I finally realised that sometimes it's a mistake to do so.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

 

I don't agree with this.

In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult.

You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture?

Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude?

 

If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it.

If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future?

Farangs are not in Kansas, Toto.

A farang is IMO tolerated by Thais, and if one does offend them, it's not going to end well, regardless of intentions.

Making a Thai lose face is probably the biggest mistake any of us will do in LOS.

If a farang does not understand that, he should tread warily in LOS.

 

[StayinThailand2much]

Stop coaching him for free. Charge him 500 baht each session for the privilege.

[Bert got kinky]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Farangs are not in Kansas, Toto.

A farang is IMO tolerated by Thais, and if one does offend them, it's not going to end well, regardless of intentions.

Making a Thai lose face is probably the biggest mistake any of us will do in LOS.

If a farang does not understand that, he should tread warily in LOS.

 

Aaah, the 'apologists' view.

Not my country, not my problem.

 

For God's sake, grow a pair.

 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Bert got kinky said:

Aaah, the 'apologists' view.

Not my country, not my problem.

 

For God's sake, grow a pair.

 

 

 

[ThailandRyan]

22 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

 

I don't agree with this.

In my view the OP did nothing wrong in calling out a cheat, in fact it was the correct course to take for a sensible caring adult.

You cannot hide bad actions behind culture, do you accept that Thais should accept corruption because it is ingrained into their culture?

Why should the OP, who volunteers his own time to the children, have to tread lightly so as to not offend a cheat who has no remorse for their actions or attitude?

 

If my children were are caught cheating, I hope that they are called on it.

If children are not taught what is right and wrong, what chance do we have with a future?

Maybe ok if he was the parent and did it out of sight of others, but in this Thailand that is seen as a direct confrontation and is not accepted by many Thai people.  Elsewhere in the world that is spot on.  Bad behavior seems to always be rewarded in this country which needs to be stopped, and that starts at home.  Just look at the punks on the motor bikes that blocked the ambulance and then showed up at the police station wearing silly hats, they should have had the <deleted> knocked out of them but no they will just be reprimanded and it will continue.