Why are you proud to be gay?

[ivor bigun]

as i have said many times ,being gay is up to you ,i lived with a gay cousin in London for a time back in the late 60s, i have a female cousin who lives with her girlfriend ,a niece who lives with her older girlfriend and a nephew who you would never think was gay ,until you met his friends.

None have ever been on a parade ,none exploit it by wearing pride colours.

So why are so many people proud of their sexuality ,ime not ,i would never dream of going to a straight parade,why would anyone ,its just about sex ,whats the big deal .

please mods if you think this should be removed ,do so ,but all i doing is really asking ,whats the big deal about who you fancy and want to sleep with.?

[ChristianBlessing]

My guess is that you are a white male who has never experienced the indignities of being LGBTQ, colored, female or a member of any ethnic minority. That would be me as well, but I think I can appreciate the pride and joy that accrues to those who are finally experiencing at least some liberation from the white patriarchy which has presided over humanity from time inmemorial.

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 minutes ago, ChristianBlessing said:

My guess is that you are a white male who has never experienced the indignities of being LGBTQ, colored, female or a member of any ethnic minority. That would be me as well, 

That would be a rather old fashioned White supremacist mentality .

   People these days do not regard the groups you mentioned as being "undignified" or anything other as just being people .

   People these days aren't usually bothered by anyone else's skin colour, ethnicity or sexual orientation or gender  

[transam]

8 minutes ago, ChristianBlessing said:

My guess is that you are a white male who has never experienced the indignities of being LGBTQ, colored, female or a member of any ethnic minority. That would be me as well, but I think I can appreciate the pride and joy that accrues to those who are finally experiencing at least some liberation from the white patriarchy which has presided over humanity from time inmemorial.

"Proud", I am not proud of what I am, that seems to be a USA word, that is used near all the time, like "Good job", when folk may have made a mess of it.........?  ????

[Longwood50]

Is this one of the obigatory monthly posts regarding gays?  For all the waling and knashing of teeth over reported discrimination never have I seen a group go to such great lengths to disclose the reason that they are reportedly discriminated against.  

With racism, the persons skin color is obvious, sexual preference is not.  There has to be some crying need for affirmation because of self doubt that is the reason why the LGBT community keeps parading their lifestyle in everyones face and apparently asking for affirmation of it. 

You are gay, great.  Most people when asked to describe themselves talk about their family, being a parent, an occupation, their faith, maybe their educational background. They don't have this self image that revolves soley around who they prefer to have sex with. 

[Mac Mickmanus]

8 minutes ago, Longwood50 said:

Is this one of the obigatory monthly posts regarding gays?  For all the waling and knashing of teeth over reported discrimination never have I seen a group go to such great lengths to disclose the reason that they are reportedly discriminated against.  

With racism, the persons skin color is obvious, sexual preference is not.  There has to be some crying need for affirmation because of self doubt that is the reason why the LGBT community keeps parading their lifestyle in everyones face and apparently asking for affirmation of it. 

You are gay, great.  Most people when asked to describe themselves talk about their family, being a parent, an occupation, their faith, maybe their educational background. They don't have this self image that revolves soley around who they prefer to have sex with. 

I was applying for a job recently in the West and the application form predominantly stated how inclusive they were and they didn't discriminate against anyone and how they fully accept people whatever their sexuality , Race , Gender or Religion .

   Then they asked numerous questions about my sexuality , even asking whether I was "Bi-Curious" and I wondered why my future Boss would want to know those kinds of things 

[bert bloggs]

10 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

I was applying for a job recently in the West and the application form predominantly stated how inclusive they were and they didn't discriminate against anyone and how they fully accept people whatever their sexuality , Race , Gender or Religion .

   Then they asked numerous questions about my sexuality , even asking whether I was "Bi-Curious" and I wondered why my future Boss would want to know those kinds of things 

Perhaps he fancied you,you never know.

[Mac Mickmanus]

7 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

Perhaps he fancied you,you never know.

I didn't get the job, so probably not . 

[Longwood50]

23 hours ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Then they asked numerous questions about my sexuality , even asking whether I was "Bi-Curious" and I wondered why my future Boss would want to know those kinds of things 

I find that to be extremely odd.  They are not suppose to ask any questions regarding your religion, your political affiliation, or sexual orientation.  I would 'think" they broke the law. 

 

[Quidio]

I find it rather interesting that so many straight people take the opportunity to follow and comment on a gay forum, especially since the comments are sprinkled with misinformation and misunderstanding bordering on homophobia.  Here's a little about why this may be an issue.   

 

Gays are confronted with their sexuality from a young age.  It starts with the question "Do you have a girlfriend?"  That haunts young gays throughout their formative years because it's not a simple question, it's a question about oneself.  It raises self-doubt.  Is there something wrong with me?  Why am I not attracted to the opposite sex?  The expectation and path laid out before young people leads in one direction and that is toward being straight.  By the time most young people have graduated from HS, the questions are no longer innocent or easy, they are serious.  "Is there something you need to tell us?"  People do pry if you are not following the straight path.  You will get questioned and the choice is to tell the truth or be deceptive.   

 

Remember, during the formative years, a lot of this questioning by peers is accompanied by bullying and sitting through a lot of banter as they talk about sex, what they like and what they don't.   

 

When you start working things get even more difficult.  When I started work, we were not far out from being homosexual was a diagnosable mental condition. It was removed from the DSM in 1974.  It was also legal to fire someone for being gay -- even for just being suspected of being gay.   It was also against the law to engage in homosexual activity.   

 

Getting the laws changed took a lot of effort and a lot of very brave people to stand up, face some ugly consequences in the battle to decriminalize sexual activity.   In Texas, the law banning same sex relations is still on the books.  Living under the shadow of such a law is unnerving at least and has the potential to ruin lives at worst.   

 

The next step forward was the ability to have a legal Domestic Partnership.  Doing that assured you were no longer in the closet and lacked some of the force and effect of an actual marriage.   There is now a move to remove marriage equality.  How would you feel if you're faced with having your marriage suddenly disappear against your will?   

 

So, to those that don't understand, just remember nobody has to come out as being straight.  Nobody questions your activities, what you do and with whom.   

 

Most gay people are proud not just to be gay, but more proud they no longer have to live a life filled with lies and deception.

 

 

[Damrongsak]

On 8/31/2022 at 5:30 AM, Mac Mickmanus said:

That would be a rather old fashioned White supremacist mentality .

   People these days do not regard the groups you mentioned as being "undignified" or anything other as just being people .

   People these days aren't usually bothered by anyone else's skin colour, ethnicity or sexual orientation or gender  

I'm not racist, just practical. The only things that bother me are things like "driving while Asian" and the like (like my Thai wife).  Woof!  ????

 

I don't buy into all this "racist" stuff. It's cultural, and one can go anywhere and find local "cultures" that bug the <deleted> out of you. 

[dundas]

I think of pride as the opposite of shame. You feel proud of something because it's something you value. On the other hand, many gay people have been forced into the opposite of pride, that is, shame, many of us have had to hide our identities because being gay was socially unacceptable (or in some cultures, dangerous to our continued existence, and that is still the case in many parts of Eastern Europe, Africa and the Middle-East).

 

Even today, in parts of Australia (especially rural areas), the suicide rates for young LGBTQ people are much higher than their heterosexual peers. 

 

When people feel safe enough to finally be able to stop hiding as 'straight-ish', they tend to flip into the opposite, so from shame to pride. It's a reaction, you could say, a bit like a pendulum swinging (and I know this might be a bit controversial), from one extreme (shame) to the other (pride). So it's no surprise that at some point last century pride marches became a thing, but only when there was enough freeing up in society for those marches to even happen (there weren't too many pride marches during the McCarthy era in the US, let me put it that way).  And in some places at least, pride marches were most successful when people still needed to re-claim their identities and stand out against the prevailing push to conform to societal needs. If you have to fight for something you believe in, yes, pride will be there. A lot of gay people, especially older ones, are still trying to leave shame behind and pride is a natural part of that process. Show some respect for us.

 

A lot has changed this century and homosexual identity is no longer such a negative focus for society at large -- at least in the west. For younger gays now,  it's just a part of their lives, no big deal, they have nothing to react against, they just accept their sexuality in the same way they accept most other aspects of their identity, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to react against. It's all cool, right? 

 

And for some, there are vestiges of how it was fifty years ago. Big cities for many of us are a lot easier than some rural areas. So it's all relative, depending on the circumstances.

 

But as a trend gay people are becoming more assimilated into society ... look at the Castro in San Francisco, for instance, or Chapel Street in Melbourne. The feeling of solidarity that came from living in a gay ghetto isn't really needed so much any more. In many places, it's now OK to live cheek by jowl with straights and everyone else in suburbia. 

 

And yes, plenty of young gays still go to pride marches, but often that's a matter of celebration, there's not so much political edge as maybe 40 years ago, not so much need to fight for the right to be who we really are. That's not necessary in those parts of the world where societies have become enlightened.

 

And OP,  I take issue with your notion of 'being gay is up to you.' I don't know anyone who decided that being gay was up to them. It's not a 'lifestyle choice' as some people would have it, it's how it is. The only choice we have is whether to accept who we are, and the chances of that happening are much higher in a decent, open, progressive society. In a society that's only half way there, the chances of pride as a reaction to shame are likely to be very high. 

 

OP, does this answer your question? 

 

Edited September 2, 2022 by dundas

[Jingthing]

This topic was obviously started with HOSTILE intent. 

We have enough of that kind of stuff on other topics. I suggest it is best IGNORED or we will keep getting more of these anti LGBT BAITING attempts here.

 

 

[dundas]

On 9/2/2022 at 8:55 PM, Jingthing said:

This topic was obviously started with HOSTILE intent. 

We have enough of that kind of stuff on other topics. I suggest it is best IGNORED or we will keep getting more of these anti LGBT BAITING attempts here.

 

 

Thank you for saying this. I nearly finished my post with the question 'so now will the OP leave us alone?' but stayed polite instead. You've called it for what it is. 

[KhunLA]

On 9/2/2022 at 5:55 PM, Jingthing said:

This topic was obviously started with HOSTILE intent. 

We have enough of that kind of stuff on other topics. I suggest it is best IGNORED or we will keep getting more of these anti LGBT BAITING attempts here.

OP does have a point, BUT, coming from the OP, it was simply baiting, as usual. 

 

Best ignored.

[Baht Simpson]

There is a delicious irony in someone using the moniker Ivor Bigun berating people over supposedly boasting about their sexuality. ????

[2009]

On 8/31/2022 at 4:20 PM, ChristianBlessing said:

My guess is that you are a white male who has never experienced the indignities of being LGBTQ, colored, female or a member of any ethnic minority. That would be me as well, but I think I can appreciate the pride and joy that accrues to those who are finally experiencing at least some liberation from the white patriarchy which has presided over humanity from time inmemorial.

Why not white female?

 

I think white females are truly the most privileged.

[CharlieH]

 

I believe the OP to be antagonsing, baiting for "sport/amusement" which will not be allowed to continue.

 

CLOSED