Why are Thais unemotional at funerals?

[thailand49]

4 hours ago, Neeranam said:

They are Buddhists and believe in Karma and Reincarnation. No need to be upset.

Not sure how correct that is?  

My parents are Buddhists although not Thai,  Chinese all show emotions and they believe in Karma and Reincarnation. ????

Edited February 23, 2023 by thailand49

[Neeranam]

3 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

Not sure how correct that is?  

My parents are Buddhists although not Thai,  Chinese all show emotions and they believe in Karma and Reincarnation. ????

Maybe Thais have a stronger Faith?

[The Fugitive]

2 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

Chinese all show emotions

I thought they were all inscrutable? Or is that something to do with gambling?

[thailand49]

5 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Maybe Thais have a stronger Faith?

For sure they do with all the praying and Temple here I read Thailand is the world most religious?

I go through the motion been to tons of temples like elephant <deleted> seen pile you seen them all. 

Recent visit I was the last one getting up she said " you got a lot of wishes " what she didn't know I question the man upstairs as to why my daughter in law was still alive????

Hey by the way I though I was on your ignore list? ????

[Wuvu2]

3 hours ago, RamenRaven said:

Thanks! This makes sense now.

 

In fact, I like the calm dispositions that I see at Thai funerals.

I see that they have a cyclical view of life, rather than a linear one.

 

And, Klingons howl towards the sky to warn the heavens that another Klingon warrior approaches. I guess it all just depends on how you believe the universe works ???? 

[Stevemercer]

6 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

Probably just me, but I have had the same general impression.   I sometimes think that some here do not value human life.  Seem unemotional about death.  

I think Thai people value life, the same as we do in the West. It's just that Thai's (and most Asian cultures) are more used to death then we are. Death is a part of life and Thais are constantly exposed to it through funerals and other reminders of our mortality. So Thais can more readily accept death as a normal part of life. Funerals can be social occasions to meet old friends and celebrate life with family, whilst ensuring the departed has a good send-off in accordance with traditions.

 

In western countries, we tend to be more isolated from death. It is not a routine and regular part of our lives, and it therefore comes as a shock. We are not prepared for it and may be at a loss as to how to properly mourn and honour the departed.

 

I think the Thai approach to death is probably the better way to go. But sometimes I think if we lavished the same attention and money on the elderly (before they passed away) maybe it would be better. Why not give the same sort of 'funeral party' for the elderly, before they pass away, and while they can still enjoy it.

 

 

[SunsetT]

6 hours ago, RamenRaven said:

You can't tell what they're really feeling deep down inside.

Im not so sure that they are really feeling much deep down inside.. I think that emotions, like rational thought have evolved less and differently in Thailand than in the West. Culturally and religiously they have no  concept of Christian/universal love; only instinctive family love and Buddhist compassion which I would argue is different. In fact Buddhist non-attachment/Detachment exemplified by the Buddha himself abandoning his wife, child and family to seek his own salvation, is quite the opposite of love. More importantly Thais have not (yet) been bombarded by slushy romantic music, movies, stories, and advertising as we have been since the day we were born in the West. Who is to say what is right or preferable.

[connda]

Buddhism.  Birth-ageing-sickness-death.  Thais are brought up to have a healthier understanding that death is just part of life - unlike Westerners.

[Expat68]

I have been to three funerals in Thailand, non were what I would call jovial affairs, in fact I have just arrived home from one and the widow and family were pretty upset 

[Expat68]

I have been to 3 funerals in Thailand, none have been jovial affairs, in fact I have just come back from one today and the widow and immediate family were pretty upset 

[Bday Prang]

14 hours ago, TigerandDog said:

I have to disagree with you. I've been in Thailand for 9 years now,  and attend on average 3 funerals per month in my village or the adjoining villages. When my partner's mother passed, not a single tear from her or any of the family members, privately or publicly. When I asked why no tears she said that the funeral was just another step in the path of life and that eventually the person would be reincarnated and that reincarnation form would depend on whether they had led a good or bad life and that reincarnation kept occurring until the person had lived a very good life and only then would their soul go to heaven.

 

The one thing I cannot fathom is the amount of disrespect shown at funerals. While the monks are doing their thing, the people sitting outside just carry on normal conversations and quite loud at that. The one thing I love about Thai funerals is there are no eulogies. I like this because that way you don't have people saying what a great person the deceased was when they were anything but.

An average of 3  Funerals per month for nine years ?  Are you kidding ?   !! That has to be some sort of record !    Could get quite expensive too,  depending on how much you put in the envelope

[RichardColeman]

14 hours ago, ChrisKC said:

I have been to more funerals in Thailand than I can possibly remember.

Probably as all the people you know here are near to death retirees ! Chances are that more of the people you know will die if they are aged 70-90 

[The Fugitive]

38 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

An average of 3  Funerals per month for nine years ?  Are you kidding ?   !! That has to be some sort of record !    Could get quite expensive too,  depending on how much you put in the envelope

Mrs has a Buddhist religious shop (candles, joss sticks & the rest). We have customers/friends who work at the local community hospital. We get tipped off when someone dies so we can go and pay our respects before the undertakers arrive. Sometimes we attend three funerals per WEEK.  Mrs always gives a generous donation in the envelope.  

[Foghorn]

The Thai men cry when their girlfriends dump them , cry soo much they have to shoot them dead

[Tropposurfer]

Thai attitudes to death are often strange and unfathomable for falangs. I've been to a few funerals here. Some from road accidents, one from a form of leukaemia (21 year old lass) which was filled with crying and pain, and old folks in their late years where as others have reported folks came together in ways that baffle falangs.

For young folks people appear to cry openly more and express their grief and loss more freely, especially if death came by a sudden misadventure.

 

I don't 'know' how Thai's see death and how they experience familial love and the leaving of those they love. If I feel sad at such events I allow myself to cry. Often these moments for are intermingled with my won family grief's as much as about the person lying there in permanent slumber. This is entirely ok for anyone to feel.

 

I lean back into the Yogic teachings I've had over my life, ('Sadhguru' has interesting things to say about love and loss). My yogi's talked of many things to us all and can see how  death and on a far more cosmic scale than what took place inside my small, yet divine  from. As some here have written so well, death is a moment of transition to another life, life is an impermanent experience, and as Buddhists one must practice non-attachment towards, as with all temporal things.

 

It seems to me to try to define Thai's experiences of attachment, love, and death in simplistic terms does no service to them or me. I am going to be sitting with some Thai friends (educated, excellent English speaking folks) tomorrow and I will ask if we can then or at some time soon sit and talk about how they view death and how do these views gestate. I shall try to remember to post if anything of particular interest of enlightenment arises from this hoped for discourse.

Edited February 24, 2023 by Tropposurfer

[sandyf]

23 hours ago, RamenRaven said:

Can someone explain how Thais view funerals?

I have been to more Thai funerals than I care to remember, from the very poor to the Royal Flame, even one at sea.

I can assure you there can be great deal of emotion involved but as a general rule emotion is not something the Thais see as appropriate in public.

You should also bear in mind that funerals in Thailand generally last a week, so by the the time the cremation comes they have come to terms with the loss.

[ubonr1971]

On 2/23/2023 at 11:09 AM, RamenRaven said:

Another thing is that public display of strong emotions is frowned upon in Thailand. Public drama and histrionics are frowned upon. Everything is masked by poker faces and Thai-style smiles that are meant to show deference rather than happiness. You can't tell what they're really feeling deep down inside.

So true, the neutral face is amazing here. We had an issue with a neighbour. My wife didnt want drama or confrontation. So different to the west

[markclover]

Because they believe in magic.  You put money in the boxes, use a credit card or scan the QR code and the magic happens.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/23/2023 at 5:03 PM, bkk6060 said:

Probably just me, but I have had the same general impression.   I sometimes think that some here do not value human life.  Seem unemotional about death.  Another thing, I got a car a few months back and some of the driving here is so unbelievably dangerous and reckless.  Add, I have witnessed crashes the drivers get out and immediately check the damage to their car, having no concern for the health of the other drivers.

They believe in reincarnation, so this life is just one of many. Nothing to do with "not valuing human life".

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/23/2023 at 10:02 PM, The Fugitive said:

I thought they were all inscrutable? Or is that something to do with gambling?

Urban myth.

[hotandsticky]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

They believe in reincarnation, so this life is just one of many. Nothing to do with "not valuing human life".

 

Spot on, 100%.

 

Tragic/premature deaths will attract grieving, but 'normal' deaths are a simple journey to the next life (which for some reason Thais always think will be better).

[blackcab]

Moved to the Community Pub.

[473geo]

Village life dictates that a person in the village, or a relative dies a member or members of your family attend, I have been to many, most I hardly knew, but know the family, some I knew well

I wonder if attending so frequently, given also the reincarnation bit, rather makes a funeral for the majority just another day of participation sad but not traumatic for all but very close family