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You can take the girl out of the bar, but can you take the bar out of the girl?


Goat

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3 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

What about a 16 year old having sex with another 16 year old? Or an 18 year old having sex with a 16 year old? Still child abuse?

I think the difference is in this case the girl was forced into it by her older sister. And she was coerced into to having sex with foreign sex tourists.

It isnt the same as teenage attraction.

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1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Think about it, the sexy model and ideal of women, is in majority made by gay men.  The fashion industry created the opposite ideal of women what real men like, so who is talking about brainwashing? 

 

Quite shallow if you ask me

Don't think I've seen any small short brown women in fashion shows.

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1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Obviously, a bar is a perfect playground for those who seek out younger girls, and much younger girls than themselves, because they are available for take out for little money, and no complications or consequences. If any, very few even if your gf/wife finds out who now is older, but is kind of locked in your grip, because she have no other options than stay or go back where she came from.

 

Thats why many thai wife accept it, or maybe even happy to se the  man go elsewhere out of good reasons, she doesnt need to perform for him to often if ever anymore.

 

 Im happy where I am and also feel good about my choice of woman, and even her appearance changes by time, I will still love her, and I know she will become older, so do I, right? Why ruin a good life, a good woman calling out the women you love for ugly, and want to change her out? 

 

Its all in your brain, and sometimes brainwashing is a good thing to for good reasons.

I also still love my gf after many years. But I don't think she is sexy anymore. We are happy together, that's the important part.

And about "kind of locked in your grip": Most of the time it is easier for all of us to continue with our relationship, work, place where we live, etc. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions. And sometimes we reevaluate our current situation and think about possible better alternatives. I think everybody has options what they want to do with their life. In my case: She could have walked away anytime, and I could have done the same. We didn't. 

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34 minutes ago, Goat said:

I do see some mongers who have settled down with very ordinary looking prositutes. 

I always think to myself they really should have spent their money better.

Maybe they are ordinary looking, but maybe they have other qualities.

Many (most?) relationships start with some physical attraction. But is that still there after 10 or 20 years? By then we should know the character of our partner. And maybe she is just the one - even if she is ordinary looking.

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34 minutes ago, Goat said:

I like to be seen with my sexy girls. 

But i would never be seen with a prostitute.

There is a difference.

And if you walk around in Thailand with a sexy girl, how many people will think she is or was a prostitute? Probably not only few people. Obviously that is about their imagination, and there is little you can change about that. 

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4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I also still love my gf after many years. But I don't think she is sexy anymore. We are happy together, that's the important part.

And about "kind of locked in your grip": Most of the time it is easier for all of us to continue with our relationship, work, place where we live, etc. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions. And sometimes we reevaluate our current situation and think about possible better alternatives. I think everybody has options what they want to do with their life. In my case: She could have walked away anytime, and I could have done the same. We didn't. 

The good thing we both know we have options, and thats called freedom. I enjoy my freedom as well, and maybe that makes my life easier, because I do not need to do anything I do not like to do. 

 

It takes some work to adopt and cultivate equal feelings by time for each other, and it is not just up to me, I also need the right response from here, to manage to keep our relationship alive. 

 

 

 

 

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30 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And if you walk around in Thailand with a sexy girl, how many people will think she is or was a prostitute? Probably not only few people. Obviously that is about their imagination, and there is little you can change about that. 

The locals and bar punters think the same, and the rest, who cares? No matter where you met your gf/wife, most think the same. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Don't think I've seen any small short brown women in fashion shows.

I guess you ideal woman changed with location? 

 

When younger my was bland with blue eyes, tits and ass. Later, I got a taste for women no matter, just not to skinny, and to fat. 

 

Good memories with one 190cm to the more petite 152cm. 

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2 hours ago, Goat said:

I think the difference is in this case the girl was forced into it by her older sister. And she was coerced into to having sex with foreign sex tourists.

It isnt the same as teenage attraction.

I don't think anyone would say that anyone being coerced into sex, regardless of their age, nor that of the person they are having sex with, is OK.

 

But I'm not sure that is quite the principle being discussed here. Would coercion suddenly make 16 a child but without it not?

 

I'm not sure that the user in question would have known if that was the case either, so it might be a little irrelevant in terms of someone making accusations against him.

 

It certainly factors into what people should consider before acquiring the services of a sex worker though.

 

I wonder, do you ever consider before one of your regular liaisons with the opposite sex (where you apparently "get sex for free with no kind of deception") whether the reason that the girl is going home with you and wants nothing in return is because of some kind of emotional/mental problem, and you might in fact be taking advantage of her?  A kind of "self-coercion through past trauma"?

Edited by BangkokReady
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1 hour ago, McTavish said:

She could be my wife's twin.

 

Met Mrs McT at the Aussie bar in Patong back in '02 and we married in '03.  I got some dirty looks those 1st few years, especially back in Sydney for a visit with the inlaws, but it's ok now that she's 35, hardly anyone notices the 30 year gap.  And yeah, she's been a faithful and devoted wife.

So she was born in 1988 if 35 now and was about 14 when you met her working illegally as a child prostitute, did she tell you she was 20 the legal age? You would have been 44, Gary Glitter was imprisoned for similar crimes. You could not have married legally when she was 15 or 16 in 2003 the minimum age is 17 with parents permission. I am not accusing you of anything, but it's amazing what people will admit to on a public forum!

Edited by proton
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2 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I don't think anyone would say that anyone being coerced into sex, regardless of their age, nor that of the person they are having sex with, is OK.

 

But I'm not sure that is quite the principle being discussed here. Would coercion suddenly make 16 a child but without it not?

 

I'm not sure that the user in question would have known if that was the case either, so it might be a little irrelevant in terms of someone making accusations against him.

 

It certainly factors into what people should consider before acquiring the services of a sex worker though.

 

I wonder, do you ever consider before one of your regular liaisons with the opposite sex, where you apparently "get sex for free with no kind of deception", whether the reason that the girl is going home with you and wants nothing in return is because of some kind of emotional/mental problem, and you might in fact be taking advantage of her?

I seriously thought legal age for bar girls was higher than 16? 18 or even 20? I believe this have been discussed the last 20 years Im been active, and especially on the old phuket forum that doesnt exists anymore.

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2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I seriously thought legal age for bar girls was higher than 16? 18 or even 20? I believe this have been discussed the last 20 years Im been active, and especially on the old phuket forum that doesnt exists anymore.

It's 20 and has been since 1996, there are severe penalties for any punter having sex with an under 15 year old, prostitute or not.

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9 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

But I'm not sure that is quite the principle being discussed here. Would coercion suddenly make 16 a child but without it not?

 

I'm not sure that the user in question would have known if that was the case either, so it might be a little irrelevant in terms of someone making accusations against him.

I am the user in question, so let me answer. When I met my gf in a bar, I wasn't long in Thailand. For me the fact that she worked in a new and shiny gogo bar was reason enough to believe that she is doing that legally. And, as mentioned earlier, she told me she is 18. In the hindsight I don't know if I would have taken her home if I would have known her age at that time.

And I am pretty sure she wasn't forced to go with anyone. One reason why I know this is because a guy sitting next to me at the dancefloor saw which girl got my attention. And he told me something like: good luck with her, she doesn't go with anyone. I had the good luck.

And about the situation with the elder sister: Did the elder sister, who also worked in that bar, physically force her to work there? No. But it seems in Thailand when the big sister tells the small sister to jump, then that is what the small sister does.

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14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I seriously thought legal age for bar girls was higher than 16? 18 or even 20? I believe this have been discussed the last 20 years Im been active, and especially on the old phuket forum that doesnt exists anymore.

Many years ago, there were lots of 18 yo girls in the bars. And some younger than that. I.e. Longun in Soi Cowboy had regularly two 16 yo girls naked right in front of the stage.

It seems now the police is pretty strict with the no one under 20 rule - at least in Bangkok.

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15 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I seriously thought legal age for bar girls was higher than 16? 18 or even 20? I believe this have been discussed the last 20 years Im been active, and especially on the old phuket forum that doesnt exists anymore.

I have no experience of it, but I believe that is the case.  I wasn't suggesting that a 16 year old girl was legally allowed to be a bargirl.  It simply seems like the waters of discussion are getting quite muddy when that is brought in, since the user very likely wasn't aware of it, along with speculation about coercion.

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On 4/5/2023 at 6:33 PM, Goat said:

Can they be rehabilitated back into normal society?

 

Or do they carry the scars with them for life?

Oh dear, oh dear.

 

What's "normal" about society? Full of greedy nasties wanting to rip off enough people to get rich.

 

Scars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :whistling:

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14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And if you walk around in Thailand with a sexy girl, how many people will think she is or was a prostitute? Probably not only few people. Obviously that is about their imagination, and there is little you can change about that. 

Times change, but the first time I paid bar fine for a BG she wouldn't walk with me in public because she thought people would think she was a prostitute ( that she actually was a prostitute didn't make any difference to the mindset ).

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1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Times change, but the first time I paid bar fine for a BG she wouldn't walk with me in public because she thought people would think she was a prostitute ( that she actually was a prostitute didn't make any difference to the mindset ).

Look I get that some blokes use prostitutes.

But why parade them out in public? Not surprised she was embarressed.

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14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Longun in Soi Cowboy had regularly two 16 yo girls naked right in front of the stage.

It seems now the police is pretty strict with the no one under 20 rule - at least in Bangkok.

Why do you think they changed? What was the problem?

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15 hours ago, Hummin said:

The locals and bar punters think the same, and the rest, who cares? No matter where you met your gf/wife, most think the same. 

 

 

Bar punters yes, because they know no other way.

 

Locals are a bit smarter. If you are going out with a bank worker, doctor etc they will be able to tell the difference. And they have to go to work.

 

A hooker doesnt have a job. And just hangs around the punter.

 

Plus the way they speak, punters wont pick that up.

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