Up days down days

[LaosLover]

9 hours ago, bignok said:

Finding meaning and purpose is the issue.

Why?

 

Why can't you just be a good person and enjoy your life? 

 

Who exactly is this meaning and purpose for?

 

Others? Personally, I have a bad track record with that.

[bignok]

Just now, LaosLover said:

Why?

 

Why can't you just be a good person and enjoy your life? 

 

Who exactly is this meaning and purpose for?

 

Others? Personally, I have a bad track record with that.

Trying that. 

[LaosLover]

There are 2 kinds of crazy people in the world.

 

People who don't think they're responsible for anything.

 

People who think they're responsible for everything.

 

You do not have to be either of those kinds of crazy people. You can run your own life right, treat others right, and then call it a day.

[KhunLA]

 

[daveAustin]

Are you dehydrated? Hottest time of the year (esp when coupled with aircon) and dehydration plays havoc, esp to those susceptible. Thai beer seems to be especially depressive. Hydration, exercise, reading, out and about. I'd look at the basics first.

[scubascuba3]

2 hours ago, bignok said:

I exercise daily.

Think you said before you are overweight and your exercise is walking (might have been sparktrader). You'll feel better if you start proper exercise so properly fit and lose weight so you look good

[fittobethaied]

12 hours ago, bignok said:

Not really but I notice it more in the morning. At night I enjoy life. Mornings I don't have much interest in anything. Perhaps I'm just a night person.

Bignok, if "at night I enjoy life" means that you are drinking alcohol, then that may be your problem. I lived that way for years in the Philippines, and I was always depressed and disinterested the morning after a night out. Booze will screw you up in more ways than one, so give it up. It may take a while to leave it behind, but life will be so much more amazing without it. 

Edited May 13, 2023 by fittobethaied

[bignok]

4 hours ago, fittobethaied said:

Bignok, if "at night I enjoy life" means that you are drinking alcohol, then that may be your problem. I lived that way for years in the Philippines, and I was always depressed and disinterested the morning after a night out. Booze will screw you up in more ways than one, so give it up. It may take a while to leave it behind, but life will be so much more amazing without it. 

Don't drink much.

[Sheryl]

Unlike some posters I find your comment about finding meaning and purpose to make complete sense.

 

The way many expats live in Thailand is not, however, conducive to this. Rather it is often oriented to short term sensual pleasures and the older one gets, the harder it becomes to find lasting satisfaction in that.

 

I think a serious introspection of how you live and why, and what you actually want in the years that remain to you, is in order.

 

The psychologist Carl Jung once remarked that the underlying issues of the people who consulted him varied by age and that, for those in the latter stages of life, most of their problems were at heart spiritual. He did not  mean that in terms of organized religion but rather in terms of fundamental spiritual (or, if one prefers, philosophical) issues.

 

If so inclined a course of Vipassana meditation would be very helpful, can be done in Thailand or most other countries including probably your home country.

 

 

 

 

[bignok]

1 minute ago, Sheryl said:

Unlike some posters I find your comment about finding meaning and purpose to make complete sense.

 

The way many expats live in Thailand is not, however, conducive to this. Rather it is often oriented to short term sensual pleasures and the older one gets, the harder it becomes to find lasting satisfaction in that.

 

I think a serious introspection of how you live and why, and what you actually want in the years that remain to you, is in order.

 

The psychologist Carl Jung once remarked that the underlying issues of the people who consulted him varied by age and that, for those in the latter stages of life, most of their problems were at heart spiritual. He did not  mean that in terms of organized religion but rather in terms of fundamental spiritual (or, if one prefers, philosophical) issues.

 

If so inclined a course of Vipassana meditation would be very helpful, can be done in Thailand or most other countries including probably your home country.

 

 

 

 

Thank you. I've been looking into courses like that. My girlfriend likes meditation. Maybe we could do sonething together. 

[Lacessit]

I have given up alcohol entirely now, apart from any other health effects it is a depressant.

Do you have a skill you enjoy? Work with that.

Some people are content to drift along, others need a sense of purpose. I found creating videos to post on YouTube gave me that feeling.

IMO mental exercise is just as important as physical exercise. I read books, play music, post on ASEAN, and add to my autobiography. Play pa som sip with my GF.

Hop onto my scooter to dice with Thai traffic.

It sounds to me like your very negative friend is exacerbating your mood swings.

 

 

[Sheryl]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

Thank you. I've been looking into courses like that. My girlfriend likes meditation. Maybe we could do sonething together. 

Where in Thailand do you live?

[bignok]

We might go to the Pa Pae meditation retreat, 70km north of CM.

[Walker88]

On 5/12/2023 at 10:25 PM, bignok said:

How do you find meaning in a world where most people are morons?

(This will fit the tl:dr category.)

 

How?  You can start by avoiding the "morons". Avoid negative people, unless it's a friend who needs a quick boost.

 

The title of this thread was curious enough to get me to open it, and as I read through the comments, I realized I cannot recall any major mood swings or bad days in my own life for quite some time, perhaps decades. I pass each day at worst in a neutral state, and at best both grateful for today and anticipatory for tomorrow. I'm not sure why that is my state, but I have a few ideas.

 

Nothing I write here could be a quick fix, but as a long term plan, maybe it would help you. If anyone is clinically depressed, of course, then medical intervention might be needed, as that sort of mood is physical. One cannot cure that any more than one can will away a broken leg.

 

Another thing to consider is if one has markedly altered one’s diet. There is a body of research suggesting a link between low carb diets and depression, as the body fails to produce enough serotonin.

 

What I write is not Deepak Chopra or Tony Robbins psychobabble, but more Francis Bacon science. I read a lot of research. I believe I’m nothing more than a biomechanical entity, a collection of muscles and organs and nerves and neurons that are my mind and body. When it breaks down eventually and the neurons stop firing, all I was and all I am returns to the nothingness it was before my birth. So be it. The machine tends to work well, but it can be altered in both positive and negative ways. I am also a believer in neuroplasticity, the ability of the brain to get rewired. That rewiring can be either positive or negative. Injury or illness can be negative. The way one thinks seems to indicate another way to rewire, and again, that can be either positive or negative.

 

Think of it like learning a difficult piece on classical guitar. Initially one must be very deliberate in manipulating the hand to get the right fingerings. Do it a thousand times, and it becomes subconscious. You have produced brain-body connections that control movements without conscious thought. I believe one can program the mind in the same way to produce ups and neutrals, with minimal or no negatives.

 

So here are some suggestions. Obviously they are only suggestions, but some might help.

 

First, take time to feel grateful. I don't have any beliefs or religion, but 'grateful' is just a sense that life or experiences have been fun. I play back funny or satisfying moments of each day, talks I had with friends, things I did, and often do the same for more distant memories or experiences. I also think of accomplishments for which I feel proud.

 

Second, I once heard a guy say that you should do something every day that 'sucks'. I now do that. Find something you really need to do, but absolutely don't want to do, then get it done. The idea seemed silly at first, almost masochistic, but it gives one a sense of accomplishment and clears the decks to move into a positive way of thinking and feeling, because 'the worst is behind me'. For me, that thing that 'sucks' could be a two hour exercise regime, or it could be cleaning up my house. There even could be some pleasure in doing the task (I do enjoy my weight lifting routines), but if there is an element of pain, great effort, or boredom in the task, that makes it the thing that 'sucks'. Get it out of the way, and then the rest of the day becomes better. Beating or completing the thing that sucks is another way of testing yourself. I have found that one of the things I enjoy most is taking on challenges. Find out what your limits are. Find out how strong or tough or resilient or skilled you are. Push yourself.

 

Third, be endlessly curious. Anyone alive today has it better than 99.999% of all the ~130 billion humans who have ever existed. The entire body of knowledge gleaned by humans since Oldavai Gorge is at our fingertips, something Newton, Maxwell, Faraday, Aristotle, etc. could not even dream about. That is a staggering opportunity to have.....provided one is interested in learning and knowing.

 

Fourth, learn to be anticipatory in a positive way. Find or create something that you look forward to. It could be meeting a friend tomorrow. It could be a vacation. It could be working on a skill, like woodworking, playing classical guitar, pursuing some new hobby, etc. Find the things that could please you, then plan to undertake them.

 

Fifth, have a sense of humor, even one that is absurdist or cynical. Create in your mind a skit about the morons you must deal with, or about some world event that is not a positive. Imagine you're doing improvisational comedy, and use your creativity to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. It not only can make you laugh, it requires the kind of consuming creativity that takes away the negative element of the morons or terrible world events.

 

If there is a common element to any of the things I've written, it is that most seem to be outward looking. None involve navel gazing or 'woe is me' thinking.

 

Do these things, or learn over time how to do them, and---if you have the same experience I do---you will find your days, and mood, is either positive or at worst, neutral. From a biochemical perspective, I think this is the best one can do. One cannot be in a constant state of a dopamine rush, as one would become inured to it. As an example, think of having endless sex. It would get boring. If one allows time for the hormones to replenish, however, then the next romp in the hay is a peak experience. The brain and body renew themselves, and the desires return.

 

Some people find comfort or strength in some faith. Maybe that would work for you. If it does, great. Personally, I hold no religious beliefs, and am of the view that all faiths were developed by men who were either liars or lunatics. I am of the opinion that one faith or philosophy was founded by someone who was clinically depressed. He found a ‘solution’ in a mental state, largely because science and medicine were so primitive 2500 years ago there was no alternative. Because life was difficult back then, his solution was embraced by others and a major faith arose. Of course, that guy didn’t know about dopamine or other hormones, so had absolutely no understanding of the physical nature of existence, mood or mental state. He made up lots of drivel, but it resonated with people who needed an outlet and some sort of hope.

 

No one is ever going to eliminate the hits that life inevitably provides, like the death of a loved one or a terrible illness, but the goal should be to make the time when those hits are being absorbed much more enjoyable. Existence might not have any real meaning, but each of us has the ability to enjoy, and that in and of itself produces all the meaning one needs.

[Sheryl]

7 hours ago, bignok said:

We might go to the Pa Pae meditation retreat, 70km north of CM.

In CM area I would suggest  here, closer, more structured instruction in both Thai and English 

 

https://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schsimanta

[BritManToo]

On 5/13/2023 at 5:25 AM, bignok said:

How do you find meaning in a world where most people are morons?

Avoid interacting with the morons.

a start is the 'ignore' feature on this forum.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Walker88 said:

(This will fit the tl:dr category.)

You were right!

[bignok]

3 hours ago, Sheryl said:

In CM area I would suggest  here, closer, more structured instruction in both Thai and English 

 

https://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schsimanta

Looks like 10 day courses. We would prefer a 3 day course to start.