Social life and dating in Thailand

[SmokeandIce]

On 6/12/2023 at 7:29 AM, JoseThailand said:

Have you tried dating courses? Thailand is one of the easiest countries in the world to find a date. I think you're doing something awfully wrong or your approach is wrong. I have a friend who in his 50s was able to get a 18yo long-term girlfriend (not a prostitute, not a bar girl). Of course, she's not HiSo, but that would be impossible even in Thailand.

I will give your friend a pass, but I would say a 50 year old dating an 18 year old is not a stable relationship in most situations.  

[wwest5829]

15 hours ago, realfunster said:

I think spending a bit more time developing your wider social circle would help.

 

Don't see any mention of any hobbies or interests ? Not sure coffee shops or nightlife is a great way to meet people and build meaningful relationships.

You can try to get involved in some activity groups in areas that interest you (sporting/intellectual/business (AmCham) & others) and developing some friendships there (male & female). That's obviously going to require regular commitment over a sustained period, a change in your lifestyle and sacrificing a few hours a week away from your business.

 

Why ? You ask.  Well, (1) you may indeed meet someone you like and a shared interest environment gives a less pressured atmosphere to first build up a friendship and maybe move forward from there to dating and (2) the best dating service known to man is when a mutual (..new) friend makes an introduction, that brings more trust and some pre-screening into the equation for both parties. Dating apps and services all have their vested interests and meeting someone 'cold' always has its challenges. 

 

Anyway, I wish you good luck old chap. 

 

 

Agreed. There has been some writing as to the result of the online, independent business folks becoming more and more isolated socially. In business the American Chamber, Rotary, Expat groups (not all are oriented to bar stools). Your recommendation is valid.

[wwest5829]

12 minutes ago, SmokeandIce said:

I will give your friend a pass, but I would say a 50 year old dating an 18 year old is not a stable relationship in most situations.  

Always exceptions but I tend to agree with you. My Thai girl (registered marriage) is 26 years my junior … but then at my age of 76 she is no teenager.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

The Thai women in the middle classes and above have no need to date Western men, they have their pick of well paid, well educated and decent Thai men. 

Not if they have dark skin or are the shape of a buffalo .............

You'd also need to define 'decent Thai men', most of the wealthier Thai guys I've encountered gamble, have mia noi's, go to dodgy karaoke places, carry guns, beat their wives, etc.

Edited June 13, 2023 by BritManToo

[poyai111]

Ah the lost and noble art of seduction has been replaced with the term "harassment". The woke generation has brought this outcome onto themselves not so much in Thailand but it is there to see. Men are too timid to venture near and the pretties are forever 14. Maybe with later maturity, say middle age, the hormones will react more naturally to what drives the species: reproduction 

[LaosLover]

29 minutes ago, wwest5829 said:

Rotary, Expat groups (not all are oriented to bar stools). Your recommendation is valid.

The problem: where love-lorn white men gather, their predators do as well.

 

Hash House Harriers is a good example. Went a few times, any single woman in attendance is not there for the jog thru the woods.

[RocketDog]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

IMO the OP is wasting his time looking for the type of woman he describes. They simply won't be interested in being automatically labelled as a prostitute by their fellow Thais, because they are with a farang.

 

Better for him if he sets his sights lower in terms of status and education. There are plenty of women here e.g. golf caddies, nurses who would love a relationship, and make good partners.

Best reply I've read do far.

I got very lucky when I met a friend of a friend. We hit it off immediately, dated 6 months and then lived together since for over 5 years.

She's 50, I still find her very attractive and she gets lots of stares at the beach in her bikini.

She's only 6th grade educated but bright, active, and industrious. Her ethics and morals are solid. In my old age I've learned that education, accomplishment, world knowledge, and clever conversation are not the basis of an enduring and fulfilling relationship. Yes, I support her but she does the same for me in multiple ways. Our relationship gets better every day. We're very simpatico.

 

My advice to the OP is to look for such 'lower class' women, and that's very easy if you speak Thai. Go to any shopping center or store like Global House or Makro. Visit restaurants in smaller villages and just sit for a beer or two. Pick one you like and simply introduce yourself, ask if you can buy her coffee. She will accept or not. After a cup of coffee you can decide to continue or not. Kind of like speed dating. As others have said, be sincerely and genuinely yourself. Humans are very good at detecting insincerity. If you're a poser, then that's who you will attract.

 

You will be surprised at how many Thai women become more attractive once you know them better. Some of them will feel the same about you. So essentially I'm recommending doing almost the opposite of how the OP is approaching the issue. What does he have to lose at this point?

 

[JimTripper]

11 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

Best reply I've read do far.

I got very lucky when I met a friend of a friend. We hit it off immediately, dated 6 months and then lived together since for over 5 years.

She's 50, I still find her very attractive and she gets lots of stares at the beach in her bikini.

She's only 6th grade educated but bright, active, and industrious. Her ethics and morals are solid. In my old age I've learned that education, accomplishment, world knowledge, and clever conversation are not the basis of an enduring and fulfilling relationship. Yes, I support her but she does the same for me in multiple ways. Our relationship gets better every day. We're very simpatico.

 

My advice to the OP is to look for such 'lower class' women, and that's very easy if you speak Thai. Go to any shopping center or store like Global House or Makro. Visit restaurants in smaller villages and just sit for a beer or two. Pick one you like and simply introduce yourself, ask if you can buy her coffee. She will accept or not. After a cup of coffee you can decide to continue or not. Kind of like speed dating. As others have said, be sincerely and genuinely yourself. Humans are very good at detecting insincerity. If you're a poser, then that's who you will attract.

 

You will be surprised at how many Thai women become more attractive once you know them better. Some of them will feel the same about you. So essentially I'm recommending doing almost the opposite of how the OP is approaching the issue. What does he have to lose at this point?

 

But he does not want lower class women, get it? That’s not what turns him on. So he has a lot to lose by pursuing something he does not want.

 

I get what your saying though regarding technique. Basically, go to where what you want IS and ask until you succeed or give up. Seems simple.

 

Maybe the Op’s problem is he can’t access venues where higher class ladies frequent. You need friends, status, etc to get into these places or they become non-exclusive. If you have no contacts your not invited in, or just don’t know where these places are.

 

Maybe try that royal polo club in Bangkok near lumphini park. Always wanted to go in there but it looks pretty expensive and I don’t own a horse ????????‍♂️.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SW Happy]

16 hours ago, SomeFarang said:

I'm not posting my photo on here, I never said I am the best looking guy.

Your answer is in your second to last paragraph.

[ChaiyaTH]

For sure you have to stop trying to be some fake perfect dude. Hiring marketing people to make a dating profile? Hiring people to manage apps? WTF, I would also run away in that case. The ladies might even think you are a nigerian scammer.

 

And in terms of the more professional ladies, they usually not bother being on such apps, you have to meet them in real. So change the location, go where they go etc.

 

If you look for something precise and are critical, chances are you never find it here. In fact, many girls are single for the same reason here.

Edited June 13, 2023 by ChaiyaTH

[BangkokReady]

11 hours ago, save the frogs said:

another idea just came to mind.

 

consider teaching english online (ie Zoom) a couple of hours a week,

 

it wont pay much, but you may attract some office ladies looking to brush up on their english skills.

and as a teacher, you have a chance to connect with them and get to know them ... 

 

sorry if you think it's a stupid idea. it's hit and miss with me. 

 

You could even specify in your advert: "Free English lessons for young single pretty Thai women who have a good job."

 

????

[BangkokReady]

Maybe start holidaying in Vietnam. ????‍♂️

[Old car dealer]

You must have something really wrong with you if can not meet a nice lady in Thailand, I am 85 have ladies come from BKK , Korat, Khon Kaen, all over the place to visit me, I am a pensioner not a lot of money, not good looking, some times I look at myself and scare myself and think what happen, meet many ladies that do not want money or only a little money and some look really good, I can meet them in Super Markets, or just walking down the Soi, meet most on line , the biggest problem I have is getting rid if them, all this is true, you must have something really wrong with you.  

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You'd also need to define 'decent Thai men', most of the wealthier Thai guys I've encountered gamble, have mia noi's, go to dodgy karaoke places, carry guns, beat their wives, etc.

I believe, in Thailand, you can stop at "wealthier". All the rest is just somehting women will put up with for money.

 

It's an interesting country. No wonder prostitution is so accepted in Thailand. It seems to pretty much be model for all relationships.

[BangkokReady]

14 minutes ago, Old car dealer said:

You must have something really wrong with you if can not meet a nice lady in Thailand, I am 85 have ladies come from BKK , Korat, Khon Kaen, all over the place to visit me, I am a pensioner not a lot of money, not good looking, some times I look at myself and scare myself and think what happen, meet many ladies that do not want money or only a little money and some look really good, I can meet them in Super Markets, or just walking down the Soi, meet most on line , the biggest problem I have is getting rid if them, all this is true, you must have something really wrong with you.  

I'm sorry to have to sound like a doubting Thomas, but I find it very unlikely that an 85 year old man is attracting women in any other capacity than a financial one (other than women of a similar age).

 

As you say, it's the "getting rid of them" that is the problem. This is very likely because the ones that don't want money now, are merely playing the long game and hoping for money some time in the future.

 

Some women actually target the older gent, hoping to quickly get married and then for him to die and leave her all his money within a couple of years.

 

I don't wish to be rude. I simply wanted to provide a different point of view.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, RocketDog said:

Best reply I've read do far.

I got very lucky when I met a friend of a friend. We hit it off immediately, dated 6 months and then lived together since for over 5 years.

She's 50, I still find her very attractive and she gets lots of stares at the beach in her bikini.

She's only 6th grade educated but bright, active, and industrious. Her ethics and morals are solid. In my old age I've learned that education, accomplishment, world knowledge, and clever conversation are not the basis of an enduring and fulfilling relationship. Yes, I support her but she does the same for me in multiple ways. Our relationship gets better every day. We're very simpatico.

 

My advice to the OP is to look for such 'lower class' women, and that's very easy if you speak Thai. Go to any shopping center or store like Global House or Makro. Visit restaurants in smaller villages and just sit for a beer or two. Pick one you like and simply introduce yourself, ask if you can buy her coffee. She will accept or not. After a cup of coffee you can decide to continue or not. Kind of like speed dating. As others have said, be sincerely and genuinely yourself. Humans are very good at detecting insincerity. If you're a poser, then that's who you will attract.

 

You will be surprised at how many Thai women become more attractive once you know them better. Some of them will feel the same about you. So essentially I'm recommending doing almost the opposite of how the OP is approaching the issue. What does he have to lose at this point?

 

Very similar to my experience with my GF, who is 56. Many people think she is still in her thirties, she works at keeping herself in shape. I couldn't care less our education levels are different. She is street-smart, I am not.

 

What charms me most about Thai women is the way they can be practical without sacrificing their femininity.

 

The OP should be careful what he wishes for, IME high-class = high maintenance, and I don't mean just financially.

[JimTripper]

20 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm sorry to have to sound like a doubting Thomas, but I find it very unlikely that an 85 year old man is attracting women in any other capacity than a financial one (other than women of a similar age).

 

As you say, it's the "getting rid of them" that is the problem. This is very likely because the ones that don't want money now, are merely playing the long game and hoping for money some time in the future.

 

Some women actually target the older gent, hoping to quickly get married and then for him to die and leave her all his money within a couple of years.

 

I don't wish to be rude. I simply wanted to provide a different point of view.

They equate age with money in Thailand, while in many other countries the reality is just the opposite (they are skint broke ????????‍♂️).

 

families financially support older members here, in other countries the family moves into seize assets and manipulate wills from older members.

 

It’s likely Thais are seeing him as having money he does not have.

 

(as long as he still wears deodorant and showers at least once a day ????).

Edited June 13, 2023 by JimTripper

[BritManToo]

44 minutes ago, Old car dealer said:

You must have something really wrong with you if can not meet a nice lady in Thailand, I am 85 have ladies come from BKK , Korat, Khon Kaen, all over the place to visit me, I am a pensioner not a lot of money, not good looking, some times I look at myself and scare myself and think what happen, meet many ladies that do not want money or only a little money and some look really good, I can meet them in Super Markets, or just walking down the Soi, meet most on line , the biggest problem I have is getting rid if them, all this is true, you must have something really wrong with you.  

Not all of us want to drive 'old cars'.

[BritManToo]

27 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm sorry to have to sound like a doubting Thomas, but I find it very unlikely that an 85 year old man is attracting women in any other capacity than a financial one (other than women of a similar age).

He didn't state the age or looks of the women though.

In fact, it's a common theme of all the guys wanting or claiming to have free women.

We never get to see what their free women look like!

Edited June 13, 2023 by BritManToo

[at15]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

He didn't state the age or looks of the women though.

the sad reality is, 85 year old men are some of the most desired men in any country in the world as they will be dead soon.

[Dart12]

are you possibly trying to find the "one" and get married before even on the first date?

I just hung with my neighbor who is 62, comes here every 3rd month for a month and had 3 or 4 good looking Thai "gf's"

So, dating is not hard.  Picking just one might be?

[Celsius]

The reason why you can not get anything normal in Thailand is the same reason why many successful Thai women over 39 also can not get anything decent. You simply can't find the time to go weed out the potential candidates.

 

However, I must say that the original post stinks a bit of fraud. If I am wrong, I apologize.

 

If you speak Thai that means you socialized with a lot with Thais. Surely there would be a freind of a friend who would set you up with someone by now. So what else is wrong besides the long working hours? Even Elon Musk managed to father 7 children. I don't buy this story. If you are serious my wife is a friend with a pig farm girl in her 30's. Beautiful and very rich. No need for farang money.

 

 

[MadMuhammad]

First and foremost stop overthinking it <deleted> 

[Berkshire]

19 hours ago, SomeFarang said:

I dated back in 2017 and had instant/unmanageable success on dating apps, seemed like every girl in the country wanted to go on dates with me. I went on at least 10 a week--most were not right for me, looking for sugar daddy, free dinners, or a 'customer'. To make the point, I am looking for a normal girl--someone who does not fall into these categories--rather a professional, educated Thai woman who does not or has never sold her body on the street and is looking for a meaningful relationship that is more than skin or wallet deep.

From the above, it appears you have figured out how to meet women.  Online really is the easiest way to go.  Your problem is sky-high expectations.  If you're looking for a well-off, educated, hot 25 year old from a good family, who's going to fall madly in love with you, you're at a severe disadvantage.  These women aren't looking for a rich foreigner or a ticket to go abroad.  They just want a normal life with a charming guy, same age, good temperament, understands their language, good family.....in other words, a decent Thai guy.  And there are plenty of those kinds of guys.  I speak Thai fairly fluently....for a foreigner.  But I can't compete with these guys.  Some can be really charming and witty...Thai women love that stuff.  I've seen them around Thai females.

 

I would think you can find one decent female if you were dating 10 a week.  Just remember that you're still the same guy here as back home.  A lot of guys come to Thailand as a "5" and think that they're instantly a "9" or "10" once they arrive.  No, you're still a "5"....on the Thai scale.  So you should be happy with a girl who's also a "5."   

 

    

[Sticky Rice Balls]

20 hours ago, SomeFarang said:

to set my sanity straight.... because I'm at the point now I am not sure I am living in the real world anymore.

 

Is why I left the states.....

[Sticky Rice Balls]

3 hours ago, LaosLover said:

The problem: where love-lorn white men gather, their predators do as well.

 

Hash House Harriers is a good example. Went a few times, any single woman in attendance is not there for the jog thru the woods.

(puts jogging shoes away--wipes away tear)*..sniff*

[Sticky Rice Balls]

4 hours ago, SmokeandIce said:

I will give your friend a pass, but I would say a 50 year old dating an 18 year old is not a stable relationship in most situations.  

agreed...she broke up with me--said I was too immature! ????

[Dart12]

3 hours ago, ChaiyaTH said:

For sure you have to stop trying to be some fake perfect dude. Hiring marketing people to make a dating profile? Hiring people to manage apps? WTF, I would also run away in that case. The ladies might even think you are a nigerian scammer.

 

And in terms of the more professional ladies, they usually not bother being on such apps, you have to meet them in real. So change the location, go where they go etc.

 

If you look for something precise and are critical, chances are you never find it here. In fact, many girls are single for the same reason here.

When single I've thought of doing the same:  hiring someone to reach out and handle replies to a certain point. 

It's a full time job being on an app, at least here in Thailand, to start talks and get any traction...also to weed out all the customer seekers (which still takes time).



 

[Dart12]

2 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm sorry to have to sound like a doubting Thomas, but I find it very unlikely that an 85 year old man is attracting women in any other capacity than a financial one (other than women of a similar age).

 

As you say, it's the "getting rid of them" that is the problem. This is very likely because the ones that don't want money now, are merely playing the long game and hoping for money some time in the future.

 

Some women actually target the older gent, hoping to quickly get married and then for him to die and leave her all his money within a couple of years.

 

I don't wish to be rude. I simply wanted to provide a different point of view.

Anna Nicole Smith marriage method 101

[Dart12]

Unfortunately, a beautiful woman 18 to 30 can just post a single picture on FB or IG or Tik Tok and get 1,000s  if not 1,000's of incoming DM's.

If she' is educated, now she doesn't even have time to answer them.

No need to be on a dating app for them.

However, if they are for example, my gf dating app had almost 8,000 incoming MESSAGES (not answered), no idea how many were clicked before me. 

This isn't "liked by" This is incoming messages.  

Same with random white knights  DMing their best shot.  

Deck is stacked against the male still digitally.

I won't concede it being against us in person though ???? when there is no clutter to break thru.