How to deal with a card game addicted wife?

[Liverpool Lou]

11 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Realistically a lot of folks around the world rely on Uber Eats nowadays.

 

If you have a maid that cleans once a week, how many people actually clean their homes every day? 

 

Just suggesting some of these issues may not be the end of the world.  

It's the gambling that he is concerned about.

[James105]

Just now, Toughsituations said:

 

 

Over the past 10 years I got her everything she wanted. She went from having pretty much nothing to having everything she wanted. Bought the isan land, built her house there, got a good amount of gold, car, half-farang son, no need to work, money to buy most things she want. The only things left from her wishlist would be a new Mercedes Benz and a big house in the city - which are coming in the near future if I keep hope in this relationship.

I've heard this story before and it does not have a happy ending unfortunately.

 

A very good friend of my Gf had the same problem.   Card/gambling addiction.  She had what could be described by many as a good life, a nice 3 bed detached house in a good location, a nice SUV, a terrific 5 year old daughter in private schooling, a fairly wealthy father of said daughter who provided everything for her.   In the end the father of daughter became tired of bailing her out and ceased providing funds (which had already ran into about 3 or 4 million, it was hard to keep track).   That didn't stop her and she started to use the readily available loan sharks who would happily cover her gambling debts until they had her house, her car and she is still on the hook for 8,000 per day interest payments on whatever she owes them.   So she had to leave Thailand and is now working in Korea and her daughter has been shipped abroad to be with her father.

 

The people this person owes money too are obviously not nice people and you may find her problem becomes your problem even more than it is already.   Buying her assets that can be used as collateral against a loan from a potential loan shark may just help her hide the problem as you won't know about it until they turn up to take the car/house away.    

 

Gambling addiction is about as real a problem as someone can have and it doesn't just affect the person who has the addiction.  Since gambling is illegal here it is going to be difficult to get help for her.   

 

Having seen this problem first hand (and not from not just this person) I would suggest securing your assets as much as you can to protect them from being used as collateral.  I appreciate how negative this sounds but I am not aware of any good outcomes from someone who has this addiction and it doesn't tend to stop until the bottom of the barrel has been well and truly scraped.   

[Liverpool Lou]

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

The police won't do anything we tried to get them involved when my adopted daughter took off in her car suddenly one day and went missing over owing money everywhere.

 

They just said she is over 18 she can do what she wants, unless she breaks the law there's nothing we can do.

 

Perhaps he was suggesting that the involvement of the police should be because of the organised gambling that's going on?

[Liverpool Lou]

41 minutes ago, IvorBiggun2 said:

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

They just said she is over 18 she can do what she wants,

Age of consent in Thailand is 15. 

The age of majority, which is what was being referred to, isn't 15!

[Liverpool Lou]

30 minutes ago, Toughsituations said:

Unless she is building up debt somewhere I don't see her losing money...

...yet.

[Bosse137]

I was a gambling addict,many years ago. Of course I wanted to stop,but at the same time,I wanted to go on:had to go on.1989 I moved to Thailand. I had three-four reasons for doing so. One was,that at that time,the were no where I could gamble in Isaan.So that forced me to stop.Otherwise,to be honest,I don´t think I could have done it.Now a days I have no interest of gambling;don´t miss it! My point: It is VERY difficult for an addicted person to end the addiction.I could stop smoking and drinking,but gambling....Up to you,of course,to decide what to do,but my guess is,that she will never stop.

[Liverpool Lou]

25 minutes ago, Toughsituations said:

I could set up a camera in the living room and catch a 24h non stop marathon, but wouldn't this evidence give me trouble as well? For allowing this to happen in my own house wouldn't I be held liable?

Isn't it her house?

[howerde]

Has she told you how much money she owes?, these are not friendly games!, you might not see the money change hands but it will, at some point the losers will have to pay up, the more desperate a gambler becomes the more reckless, if you don't give her the money, loan sharks WILL, there will be a day of reckoning,  she will end up going to you. They are not her friends but she will not see it, and unless you remove her from the current environment this will continue

 

[Reginald Prewster]

28 minutes ago, Toughsituations said:

Over the past 10 years I got her everything she wanted. She went from having pretty much nothing to having everything she wanted. Bought the isan land, built her house there, got a good amount of gold, car, half-farang son, no need to work, money to buy most things she want. The only things left from her wishlist would be a new Mercedes Benz and a big house in the city - which are coming in the near future if I keep hope in this relationship.

I see only an individual locked into a golden cage, sorry... 

All of the above she must have now more nothing, than the nothing she had before... 

 

 

[Kwasaki]

22 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Perhaps he was suggesting that the involvement of the police should be because of the organised gambling that's going on?

Could be so a policeman in our village was suspended because his wife was running a small casino.????

[Kwasaki]

20 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The age of majority, which is what was being referred to, isn't 15!

Yeah don't know why the 15 year of age was all about really.

[watchcat]

13 hours ago, Toughsituations said:

I work my ass off to provide everything she will ever need and that's how she repays me.

Divorce her or get yousellf a new nick (doormat)

[IvorBiggun2]

36 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The age of majority, which is what was being referred to, isn't 15!

The age of majority in Thailand is 20. Kwasaki referred to the police that stated they could do nothing cuz she wus over 18.

 

14 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Yeah don't know why the 15 year of age was all about really.

Cuz you were wrong in stating what the police ,allegedly, told you about being being over 18 that they couldn't do nothing. So BS on that. 

Edited July 4, 2023 by IvorBiggun2

[Goat]

11 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

IF my Wife's friends were round my house most days I'd put my foot down and say no.

Wow, control freak. What is life without friends?

 

Anyway, what the Op really needs to do is teach the wife how to count cards.

A gambling problem is only a problem if you lose. 

Winners are grinners.

[riclag]

Your wife has a addiction! The same as if she was doing hard drugs!

She needs help!

Family and professional assistance!

 

[Kwasaki]

5 minutes ago, IvorBiggun2 said:

The age of majority in Thailand is 20. Kwasaki referred to the police that stated they could do nothing cuz she wus over 18.

 

Cuz you were wrong in stating what the police ,allegedly, told you about being being over 18 that they couldn't do nothing. So BS on that. 

Not bother wrong or not just stating what the police said and she was 24 years old at the time.

[Liverpool Lou]

4 minutes ago, IvorBiggun2 said:

40 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The age of majority, which is what was being referred to, isn't 15!

The age of majority in Thailand is 20. Kwasaki referred to the police that stated they could do nothing cuz she wus over 18.

I know what the age of majority is and I also know what Kwasaki posted, unlike you apparently.  Why did you comment about the irrelevant age of consent?

[Liverpool Lou]

22 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

44 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

The age of majority, which is what was being referred to, isn't 15!

Yeah don't know why the 15 year of age was all about really.

I'd suggest that his choice of a forum name has something to do with it.

[tomacht8]

Bad situation. I also have many family members who enjoy playing cards. The degree between social gathering and real gambling addiction is fluid. What are the stakes? Are there already 500/1000 baht notes on the towel or are they playing for coins? Which game is being played? Bok deng, Kauke or Thai dummy? If she doesn't keep her household and child responsibilities, it's a very bad sign. The ultra-long playing times are also questionable. Are always the same people playing or do strangers sometimes come by? The fact that she has no job and that she is bored only encourages her possible addiction. I would try to set a time limit for the card game with her first. A time when a cardsession has definitely to be finished. If she doesn't manage to keep up, and can not stop playing cards at a given time, you have to pull the ripcord. Pathological gambling addiction can also ruin you and your family financially.

Edited July 4, 2023 by tomacht8

[OneMoreFarang]

13 hours ago, Toughsituations said:

She says it's a harmless hobby and she does it because she has no job.

She presented a solution to you. 

[The Snark]

@ToughsituationsI used to work in a casino. Rather than go into details, research Obsessive Compulsive disorder. It is very common but requires being dealt with on a psychological level. Consider consulting a professional.

[Callmeishmael]

Is the house or land in her name?  If so, she may have taken out a mortgage to cover her loses.  You might want to check with the local land office.

[ChipButty]

were i live it's well know where the gambling dens are and i have known a few Thai women addicted to cards, and lost a lot of money, two that come to mind both had farang husbands in the end the only way out was to get out, the one farang done one back to Australia and the other one back to England never to be seen again, one of the poo ying is still here but living in a room after living in a nice 3 bed pool villa, the farang managed to sell that, the other one her husband just bought a brand new truck and he must have put it in her name within a few months she sold it or it was taken off her to cover gambling debts, I was told she would go around renting motorbikes and then losing them to gambling, I think she had to  get out of the area she owed that much money, 

It's not just women I knew a Thai guy who used to buy 10 to 15k baht a month on the lottery and play cards 

My wifes mother died and left the kids with a load of debt, thankfully the wife doesn't gamble.

[OneMoreFarang]

Maybe that was mentioned already: Gambling, including playing cards, is illegal in Thailand.

If the cops see it, then they arrest the gamblers - also up country in the villages. Or the gamblers have to pay the police not to get arrested.

So if you want to stop any game, call the police and let them arrest her and her friends.

Maybe that is "incentive" enough for her to stop.

[Goat]

26 minutes ago, Callmeishmael said:

Is the house or land in her name?  If so, she may have taken out a mortgage to cover her loses.  You might want to check with the local land office.

Just look on the back of the chanote would be easier.

 

Playing cards is actually illegal. Just call the cops on her and get her locked up.

[tomacht8]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe that was mentioned already: Gambling, including playing cards, is illegal in Thailand.

If the cops see it, then they arrest the gamblers - also up country in the villages. Or the gamblers have to pay the police not to get arrested.

So if you want to stop any game, call the police and let them arrest her and her friends.

Maybe that is "incentive" enough for her to stop.

Not a good idea. Only leads to additional money loss and does not solve the problem. Not to mention what standing you have in your village after, when you rush the police on your neighbors.

Edited July 4, 2023 by tomacht8

[Boyn]

Over the years i have known of farangs who end up losing houses over this problem, one friend of mine his wife got millions in debt and eventually she killed herself. They just dont know when to stop. You need to crack down hard and stop this (good luck with that) or walk it will end in tears and deep debt or worse.

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, Toughsituations said:

Unless she is building up debt somewhere I don't see her losing money (wish I did).

Unless she is very good at gambling (cheating) she will loose and start building up debt.

[Bangel72]

"wifes mother died and left the kids with a load of debt",  curious about this one as I understand it inherited debt max's at the estates value so if no estate left then no inherited debt. It still feels like an inherited debt of course.  

 

Now I'm wondering if life insurance of ex going to the kid is considered part of the estate?

 

Loan shark debt though a very different matter.

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Toughsituations said:

I could set up a camera in the living room and catch a 24h non stop marathon, but wouldn't this evidence give me trouble as well? For allowing this to happen in my own house wouldn't I be held liable?

Yes as gambling is illegal.