Afterwards, do you want to listen to 'The Way We Were' or thank God you dodged a bullet?

[Gecko123]

You ever search the internet for old flames, (high school sweethearts, college flings, ex-wives, one night stands) to see where they live, if they're still alive, maybe even find a picture of what they look like today? Come on, admit it, everyone does that sometimes, don't they?

 

I tend to do look up women who dumped me, rather than the other way around, and, yes, I've been dumped more than my share, so there's a lot of women out there I can look up. 555. One thing I've noticed is that a lot of the women who dumped me have ended up alone in later life, either never having married, or getting divorced. Few seem to have aged as well as me.

 

One woman who really drove a dagger into my heart regularly updates her photo on her so-called 'life coaching' website. In her latest photo, I thought I saw a glint of fear in her eye, perhaps a fear of dying alone, I imagined. Gave me a twinge of satisfaction, I'll confess.

 

So what do you think when you see a picture of old flames today? Does it make you feel nostalgic like I could still love her even to this day, or is it more like 'my God, what was I thinking, there's no way we were compatible, I really dodged a bullet there, thank you, Jesus'?

 

 

[marin]

I try to think about the future not the past. I believe in the old saying, "dont look back they might be gaining on you". 

[petermik]

I have no interest in past conquests....what matters today is more important....

[Kwasaki]

8 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Come on, admit it, everyone does that sometimes, don't they?

No, that's as far as I got. ????

[Gecko123]

The purpose of this thread isn't to provide people with the opportunity to grandstand about how enlightened and spiritually grounded and centered they are. The purpose is to allow people to share the range of emotions they experience when they find updates on past loves on the internet.

[n00dle]

33 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

You ever search the internet for old flames, (high school sweethearts, college flings, ex-wives, one night stands) to see where they live, if they're still alive, maybe even find a picture of what they look like today? Come on, admit it, everyone does that sometimes, don't they?

 

I tend to do look up women who dumped me, rather than the other way around, and, yes, I've been dumped more than my share, so there's a lot of women out there I can look up. 555. One thing I've noticed is that a lot of the women who dumped me have ended up alone in later life, either never having married, or getting divorced. Few seem to have aged as well as me.

 

One woman who really drove a dagger into my heart regularly updates her photo on her so-called 'life coaching' website. In her latest photo, I thought I saw a glint of fear in her eye, perhaps a fear of dying alone, I imagined. Gave me a twinge of satisfaction, I'll confess.

 

So what do you think when you see a picture of old flames today? Does it make you feel nostalgic like I could still love her even to this day, or is it more like 'my God, what was I thinking, there's no way we were compatible, I really dodged a bullet there, thank you, Jesus'?

 

 

bit early to be drunk, innt?

Edited July 22, 2023 by n00dle

[London Lowf]

37 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Come on, admit it, everyone does that sometimes, don't they?

No.

[Lacessit]

I have no knowledge of past flames, as I stay off social media such as Facebook, Twitter etc.

 

Perhaps I did dodge a bullet, my ex-wife has advanced dementia.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

It's a bit of a coincidence as I did look up someone who rejected me in high school recently. For fun. I have a facebook account in a silly name that is otherwise not used. It was a bit of a shocker at the time and she ended up with my best friend. Became friends later but no go for romance. 

The coincidence is that she is in fact now a life coach and her life story on the site says she was a potential high flyer but then had a debilitating injury and her life coaching is based around that experience. Not sure how the business is going though. 

It is kind of interesting to see the person you had a crush on and to be able to fast forward 30 or 40 years in five minutes reading. 

I had a girlfriend too back in the 80's who works in a university and published a book on feminism and on the spur of the moment I contacted her and we had a nice dinner with a mutual friend. No, people, she was nice, friendly, and open despite what some people think of feminists here. 

 

Edited July 22, 2023 by Fat is a type of crazy

[giddyup]

Many times did Google/Facebook searches for a first love, but either she's dead or changed her name as was unable to find a trace.

[ExpatOilWorker]

7 minutes ago, giddyup said:

Many times did Google/Facebook searches for a first love, but either she's dead or changed her name as was unable to find a trace.

When obituaries and cemetery listing yield the most results, it is time to quit searching.

[1FinickyOne]

54 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

The purpose is to allow people to share the range of emotions they experience when they find updates

'she was just 17, you know what I mean' Beatles - right?

 

She was my first love but crazy - her whole family was nuts - when my parents met her they told me there were good shrinks out there.. we were together 4 difficult years and finally parted because we needed different directions.

 

I last saw her in 2000. She was married to a sweet guy and I was happy for her. We would message occasionally. I did not hear from her for a while and just recently found an obit - very sparse, no messages or memorials... She died in 2016 and the sparsity of the obit made me very very sad. As if her life had little meaning to anyone. Her husband died in 2021... 

 

I've had several good friends die - this haunts me a bit. 

 

'And I always thought I would see you again' James Taylor

[sipi]

Yeah I've googled them. They all ended up better without me, and frankly I ended up better without them.

If they were dead it wouldn't bother me, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

[GammaGlobulin]

9 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

You ever search the internet for old flames,

I'm quite sure they're all dead by now.

 

[swissie]

Went to a "class reunion" 2 months ago. My last was in 1978 before. What can I say? Age is a terrible adversary. Especially for females. The attractive girls of yesteryear that I used to chase have turned into some sort of Egyptian Mummies, but still moving.

 

I left in a state of shock. How vengeful can nature be when it comes to aging european females? The revenge of modern day living?

 

No more class reunions for me. Rather prefer to look at 70 year old female Thai street vendors.

[Skipalongcassidy]

9 hours ago, swissie said:

Went to a "class reunion" 2 months ago. My last was in 1978 before. What can I say? Age is a terrible adversary. Especially for females. The attractive girls of yesteryear that I used to chase have turned into some sort of Egyptian Mummies, but still moving.

 

I left in a state of shock. How vengeful can nature be when it comes to aging european females? The revenge of modern day living?

 

No more class reunions for me. Rather prefer to look at 70 year old female Thai street vendors.

They are having their morning coffee saying the same thing about you... 555

[BangkokReady]

20 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Few seem to have aged as well as me.

Women generally age far worse than men.

[bignok]

I went from 6/10 to 9/10 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

12 hours ago, swissie said:

How vengeful can nature be when it comes to aging european females?

Do you think it is because many of them are stuck w/aging European cranky-assed males? 

[1FinickyOne]

18 hours ago, sipi said:

They all ended up better without me,

Here lies Marianne Tippy

Who to her last days 

held thanks to the universe

that she didn't marry Sipi 

[brianthainess]

I presume your talking about FB. Nah I ain't bothered with that <deleted>.

[RocketDog]

On 7/22/2023 at 12:38 PM, Gecko123 said:

The purpose of this thread isn't to provide people with the opportunity to grandstand about how enlightened and spiritually grounded and centered they are. The purpose is to allow people to share the range of emotions they experience when they find updates on past loves on the internet.

Ah yes; unintended consequences. That will teach ya'.

You must be forgetting where you are posting.

Nearly all threads have a fair share of wasted digital ink.

Most annoying are running exchanges between two members who have impugned each other's intelligence/honor /standing/ego, etc. So we get to hear them polluting the thread by trading one or two line snipes for the next hour. It can be something as minor as the spelling of a word.

That's when I move on even if it's an interesting thread.

 

Maybe I've been here too long but I don't read most of this forum anymore . Just endless repetition and jaw-wagging.

[Gecko123]

27 minutes ago, RocketDog said:

Ah yes; unintended consequences. That will teach ya'.

You must be forgetting where you are posting.

Nearly all threads have a fair share of wasted digital ink.

Most annoying are running exchanges between two members who have impugned each other's intelligence/honor /standing/ego, etc. So we get to hear them polluting the thread by trading one or two line snipes for the next hour. It can be something as minor as the spelling of a word.

That's when I move on even if it's an interesting thread.

 

Maybe I've been here too long but I don't read most of this forum anymore . Just endless repetition and jaw-wagging.

I was surprised by the somewhat hostile initial responses to the thread, particularly the suggestion that I must have been drinking when I posted, which I can assure everyone was absolutely not the case.

 

I can only surmise that some forum members must associate any type of reflection about past romances with maudlin sentimentality and take a hard "don't want to go there" stance to avoid thinking about past memories they probably would prefer to forget. I understand that.

 

But it's undeniable that social media has provided opportunities to anonymously check up on people in your past which weren't available in the past, and all I was doing was trying to find out what kind of emotional reactions people have had in the process of doing this.

 

Edited July 24, 2023 by Gecko123

[RocketDog]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

I was surprised by the somewhat hostile initial responses to the thread, particularly the suggestion that I must have been drinking when I posted, which I can assure everyone was absolutely not the case.

 

I can only surmise that some forum members must associate any type of reflection about past romances with maudlin sentimentality and take a hard "don't want to go there" stance to avoid thinking about past memories they probably would prefer to forget. I understand that.

 

But it's undeniable that social media has provided opportunities to anonymously check up on people in your past which weren't available in the past, and all I was doing was trying to find out what kind of emotional reactions people have had in the process of doing this.

 

You're still looking at it too narrowly.

Many replies here are never meant to explore ideas or offer suggestions.

They are meant to publicly proclaim the actual live presence of the poster and the fact that they have an 'opinion' or clever word play that should and must be recognized and appreciated. If they can zap a few zingers at anyone else in the thread or actually start an argument, then so much the better. This is all completely decoupled from the original OP topic.

(Kinda like this reply! 55555.)

 

As I said, that'll teach ya'.

You can put lipstick on a pig, but.........

The key to contentment in the Kingdom is to lower your expectations......... of everything.

 

[BTB1977]

All my relationships were like a deck of cards. Started out with hearts and diamonds,  but ended with a club and a spade. 

[Celsius]

On 7/22/2023 at 12:10 PM, Gecko123 said:

I tend to do look up women who dumped me, rather than the other way around, and, yes, I've been dumped more than my share,

 

How do you know you won't get dumped again and end up alone?

[bignok]

7 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I was surprised by the somewhat hostile initial responses to the thread, particularly the suggestion that I must have been drinking when I posted, which I can assure everyone was absolutely not the case.

 

I can only surmise that some forum members must associate any type of reflection about past romances with maudlin sentimentality and take a hard "don't want to go there" stance to avoid thinking about past memories they probably would prefer to forget. I understand that.

 

But it's undeniable that social media has provided opportunities to anonymously check up on people in your past which weren't available in the past, and all I was doing was trying to find out what kind of emotional reactions people have had in the process of doing this.

 

Lots of unhappy people about. 

[sidjameson]

On 7/22/2023 at 7:01 AM, Fat is a type of crazy said:

It's a bit of a coincidence as I did look up someone who rejected me in high school recently. For fun. I have a facebook account in a silly name that is otherwise not used. It was a bit of a shocker at the time and she ended up with my best friend. Became friends later but no go for romance. 

The coincidence is that she is in fact now a life coach and her life story on the site says she was a potential high flyer but then had a debilitating injury and her life coaching is based around that experience. Not sure how the business is going though. 

It is kind of interesting to see the person you had a crush on and to be able to fast forward 30 or 40 years in five minutes reading. 

I had a girlfriend too back in the 80's who works in a university and published a book on feminism and on the spur of the moment I contacted her and we had a nice dinner with a mutual friend. No, people, she was nice, friendly, and open despite what some people think of feminists here. 

 

Just curious. Meeting up with the feminist, who paid for dinner?

[Fat is a type of crazy]

7 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Just curious. Meeting up with the feminist, who paid for dinner?

Paid our own way. Shouted each other drinks, 3 people so shout in multiples of 3, in a fair, non sexist, non exploitative, non oppressive, and non patriarchal manner. It was fun.

 

Edited July 24, 2023 by Fat is a type of crazy

[Neeranam]

I found a few as we have a group for our year at school. 

I'm surprised that most women look about 60+ and most men bald or grey. 

Went back recently and didnt recognize some who remembered me. 

Had dinner with a mate who married a 50 yo woman when he was 30. She had a walking stick and is now 80.

I look for old flames and contact some. 

They all thought I'd be dead by 30 due to my drinking.