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Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?


bob smith

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13 hours ago, bignok said:

Lucky you not in Jail. 

As I said they started it after I just pulled them up on their disrespectful behaviour.

Back then I was not one not to say something, now I would up and walk away now.

It was a nice break during Covid not getting some the odd idiot coming to our village. 

Police not interested falangie on falangie with Thai friend witnesses.

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10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I would have just paid a Thai (or 10) to deal with you.

Guess you're lucky in your choice of victims.

Those days are passed I doubt you would just let someone take a swing at you without defending yourself I don't understand some people's reactions here.

After years Thais in my village are my friends, police too.

And you don't seem to be the kind of of guy who would be disrespectful anyway.

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10 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Those days are passed I doubt you would just let someone take a swing at you without defending yourself I don't understand some people's reactions here.

After years Thais in my village are my friends, police too.

And you don't seem to be the kind of of guy who would be disrespectful anyway.

The big I am eh?

 

sat with your country Thai buddies who secretly hate you and only tolerate you cos it's your round!

 

dont tell me you ring the bar bell as well!! no wonder they love you ???? 

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On 8/5/2023 at 10:10 AM, KhunLA said:

You can't fix stupid.   

 

Good for him, but I almost feel sorry for folks that were regular readers of his trash.  Trink was interesting & informative at times, but stickman ... Holy Buddha, what trash.  

I haven't read much of Stickman besides what he mentioned about women here and what to expect, which as I've seen and heard years before I moved here, is right on.

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On 8/5/2023 at 11:16 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

The question is obviously: Why does she do that?

Are you the best she could get, and she doesn't want to lose you?

In that case I better don't want to imagine what kind of wife you have.

 

From what little we read here, if that's indeed true, Bob found a real woman who pays her own way, which means she looks at him as a partner and not an ATM, like much else that men find here. If he treats her with love and respect, which is what almost all women want, it's no wonder she wants to stay.                                                                                                                                       A main rule of relationships is, when you find a good man, one who doesn't cheat, abuse or neglect you, you stay, unless you're very damaged goods or unstable. Good men, and women, are the hardest find a person has, especially if he (she) is a good person also. Good belongs with good. Users, cheaters abusers and greedy belong with the same, so they can drive each other crazy and a good person isn't hurt.                                                                                                                                                   Most women in the world will never know real love. They might have financial stability, with all that brings, but not have love, trust, honesty, romance and familial stability. A bar girl might stay where an independent moral woman might leave, no guarantees. With a bar girl you know what you're getting in a few ways. She will never look at you as special, because sleeping with many men for money and the unstable life that brings, especially emotionally, will never allow her to open her heart to you and trust that you will stay. Unlike some here believe, all relationships aren't transactional, but with a bar girl, that's always the case. With a true partner, a man is looked at as the provider and not an ATM, a protector, lover and father to any children they have, the leader in the house, and someone she can rely on in any event. A bar girl, with her mentality hurt by childhood experiences, has lost faith and trust in men, and just looks at them as a means to an end, to give her money to survive another day. When they marry a man, they're still looking at the same things, hoping they will last but never believing it will. All woman fear losing a man, especially if he's a good one. Difference is, when a woman lives a bar girl life, for a long time, and not one who has made a mistake and does it for a short period, when she loses a man, all she has to do is go back to the bar and find another one that's willing to pay her way, at least for awhile. I know there are some here that will disagree, thinking they're woman is different, and that all women are the same, but that's plain BS and they themselves know it. Some can't get a normal woman, and resort to buying them, thinking that if it fails, all they have to do is, like the bar girls, return to the bar to find another. Some are happy with this arrangement, as there's no commitment, unlike a real marriage has. It's just a transaction, and the man always wins, because , true, all woman cost money, and a bar girl will not give you any headaches, and if she does, you're gone. In a marriage, if you want it to last, you both have to do the work, and it is work, but if both want it, and do what they need to do, a marriage is the most comforting thing you can have. When one or both can't communicate where both win , a marriage can be a disaster, as most of us have learned. You can grow old together, and be happy, or grow old together and be miserable. I'm hoping myself for a real partner that's willing to do the work. Ex's didn't. Girlfriend now for over 2 years came from a hurtful background, where she was never treated with respect, and that continued with her marriage. So far, it's going well, because she's learning there is another side to men besides cheating, lying, abuse and neglect. And she's not greedy like most here, but helps me when I need it, and does her share.

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22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

My Thai daughter has an education, spent 3 years extra in high school, 4 years getting her degree, speaks perfect English an makes 20k/month + free condo.

Hardly worth her time or my money.

She wouldn't look twice at a western foreigner.

That seems odd, assuming you treat her mom well, and provide, unless she looks at you as one who pays for her mom because she's a former bar girl, and she knows what kind of men do that, and doesn't want to end up with someone that also looks at her as a transaction, but as a partner. She's educated now, and independent, and hopefully she will choose wisely.  If the only knowledge she has of westerners is the lies told here, comments from friends who have been with tourists and been used for sex and them dumped, and a dad who found her mom in a bar, a place where tourists go to have sex with women, and who looks at women as transactions, then she might have trouble finding the right man, especially here with the local men's reputation. Also, if you love and treat your Thai daughter well, she should be looking at you as a role model, at least as far as you treat her, and think that since you are a farang, she would think she could find a farang that will treat her well, especially again, hearing the rumors how the local men treat their girlfriends.

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1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

From what little we read here, if that's indeed true, Bob found a real woman who pays her own way, which means she looks at him as a partner and not an ATM, like much else that men find here. If he treats her with love and respect, which is what almost all women want, it's no wonder she wants to stay.   

I gave up after reading maybe 1/3 of your post.

You, like many others, try to simplify things to black and white. Good and bad. Women who want money and women who don't care about men's money. And it seems you think people never change.

All wrong!

There is seldom black and white. People change. And we are all mostly not rational. There is no: if you have type A this will happen and with type B that will happen.

Lots of things happen. Some are predictable, some not. And people change all the time, sometimes in ways nobody foresaw. 

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On 8/5/2023 at 8:29 AM, bob smith said:

I just dont get it.

 

There are OTHER girls in Thailand that are fit for marriage that happen to not work in a bar.

Why do you HAVE to be married?

 

Oh right I forgot you're a baby boomer with some idealized, romanticized view of marriage -- while also basically being part of the generation that normalized and destigmatized Divorce, especially No-fault divorce. 

 

How can boomers be such champions of "getting married" while also being the first generation to basically invent the concept of Divorce ????

 

Take marriage vows and then discard them at the first sign of not getting enough fellatio at home.???? this is why nobody likes boomers except other boomers. Btw my parents weren't separated until I was in my 30s, I'm not bitter about divorce, I just think you guys are delusional 

Edited by HandsomeTallFarang
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17 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yeah, but Bob has posted many times about not being happy with her.

And he also boasts about cheating on her with hookers.

That's why I said, if that's indeed true. If he's just another troller, then what I've said doesn't belong.

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On 8/5/2023 at 9:11 AM, BritManToo said:

2 weeks in my case.

I was thinking I needed a new VISA, regular sex and a womb to gestate my baby in.

 

No mention of love, it was a purely expedient decision. And it's worked out far better than any previous choices I made for love.

Why would you want to have a baby that looks nothing like you?

 

They just look like standard asian kids - black hair and dark eyes..

 

Not only that, they will get a thai-family upbringing and seem even more alien and foreign. I wouldn't ever waste my genes having a baby with a dirt-poor, dark issan girl lol.

Farrangs wheeling around their little mystery meat babies with their "girlfriends" who have a persistent frown on their face will never NOT be funny. 

 

Personally, I'm not going to fulfill the lifelong dream of self-hating asian women who wish they were white, and to "hab blue eye baby". 

 

I want my kids to actually look like me ???? no thanks 

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On 8/5/2023 at 9:03 AM, Felton Jarvis said:

I have no intention of throwing my life away by marrying a bar girl. Ladies with regular jobs are enough of a challenge. I have found them just as duplicitous as those in the bar. All of the women I dated had straight jobs. All were very dedicated to getting their hands on my money. Only one never asked me for anything. She ran off with a Thai man. My current live-in lady asks very little and is happy to have a roof over her head.

At least the bar girls are honest.

 

Well, slightly more honest than their "regular job" counterparts.

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On 8/5/2023 at 8:15 AM, bob smith said:

why on earth would a western bloke marry a bar girl?

I just do not get it.

I honestly have no idea, maybe out of desperation I suppose. I’m sure there’s good “bar girls” and there are definitely a lot bad/ greedy or whatever non-bar girls(everywhere on the planet). Good grief there’s a lot of desperate men that come here hooking up with desperate women that end up in a stagnant unhappy relationship due financial pressure, unease with the Thai family, and or language barriers. Limited friendships due to language barriers and having too much empty time doing nothing probably would lead to some mental health issues I’d suppose.

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1 hour ago, novacova said:

I honestly have no idea, maybe out of desperation I suppose. I’m sure there’s good “bar girls” and there are definitely a lot bad/ greedy or whatever non-bar girls(everywhere on the planet). Good grief there’s a lot of desperate men that come here hooking up with desperate women that end up in a stagnant unhappy relationship due financial pressure, unease with the Thai family, and or language barriers. Limited friendships due to language barriers and having too much empty time doing nothing probably would lead to some mental health issues I’d suppose.

Agree to a certain extent. I imagine the one who will thrive, are the ones who actually have a life apart from the partner. Gardening, hobbies, self-sufficient. Healthy mind and healthy body. Sitting around in a condo with not much in common with your partner is a sure route to stress and ill health. 

If at least, you have hobbies in common and actually interact pleasantly together that’s a positive.
But too many will have nothing in common, other than the financial support.  
 

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1 hour ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Why would you want to have a baby that looks nothing like you?

 

They just look like standard asian kids - black hair and dark eyes..

 

Not only that, they will get a thai-family upbringing and seem even more alien and foreign. I wouldn't ever waste my genes having a baby with a dirt-poor, dark issan girl lol.

Farrangs wheeling around their little mystery meat babies with their "girlfriends" who have a persistent frown on their face will never NOT be funny. 

 

Personally, I'm not going to fulfill the lifelong dream of self-hating asian women who wish they were white, and to "hab blue eye baby". 

 

I want my kids to actually look like me ???? no thanks 

When my daughter was born almost 7 years ago, she had very dark, straight brown hair, and looked Thai for the most part. After awhile the hair turned curly like mine, and I hoped it would stay that way. No such luck. It's brown like mine and straight. Her eyes are rounder like mine but darker, and brown, like mine used to be before they turned green, but she has her mother's eyebrows. Light brown skin, and looks very much like my youngest daughter back home. She definitely looks like both families, but more like mine. You can tell she's half farang from 50 yards away. I will eventually take her back to live in the states, as soon as I can re locate . Her going to school here isn't that bad, as they have English class, along with her speaking to me in English every day. She speaks fluent Thai, and is learning how to write and read both at the same time. She will have a much better lifestyle when we move back but is still half Thai, and that's just fine with me. Thai women are among the prettiest women on earth.  It could be to her advantage later on being bilingual. I just picked the wrong woman to have a child with here, besides the point that I'm happy she's here. You saying you wouldn't waste your genes with a dirt poor Thai woman is pretty racist. As if your genes are somehow special and superior to Thais? Or anyone else's for that matter. I'm wondering if you are from one nationality. Much of the world's people are from more than one nationality, and if you traced your roots, you might be surprised what is in your history, and might think again. I've seen many half Thai, half farang kids here, and they all look half or more farang.

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16 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Lots of things happen. Some are predictable, some not. And people change all the time, sometimes in ways nobody foresaw. 

....and a good predictor of a womans future is education. Wouldn't you agree?

 

I mean, its pretty obvious that a PhD will ultimately have a better life down the line than a 12th grade drop out who got knocked up by her meth addicted thai boyfriend? 

 

No?

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15 hours ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Bob Smith is another troll. He posts about having 20 million and then posts about pinching pennies and making bar girls pay for their own drinks

you don't get rich by giving it away, do you? 

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2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

....and a good predictor of a womans future is education. Wouldn't you agree?

 

I mean, its pretty obvious that a PhD will ultimately have a better life down the line than a 12th grade drop out who got knocked up by her meth addicted thai boyfriend? 

 

No?

One of the best predictors of a woman's future is the relationship she has with her parents, and especially her dad. If he's absent, she will always be looking for him in whatever man she meets, and without his guidance, she will find it hard to interact with males. If he was close to her, she will relate better to other males , especially if he taught her how men think and what they want from a woman. Mom can teach her how to be a woman, and also about other men. If her mom was treated well by her dad, she will see this and look for the same when she looks to a relationship with a man. If her dad treated her mom badly, she will lose trust in other men and will carry that into her relationships. As far as schooling, the more education she gets the better chances of her getting a better paying job, which means independence, and not having to rely on a man for his money, but looking for a man to be part of a team together, which will usually lead to a good future. Going through many boyfriends, many of whom are useless drunks, druggies or unemployed, does not work well for her future of course. Getting pregnant by one of these types also doesn't bode well, and is a hindrance to her independence.

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