First Thai relationship, any advice?

[transam]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Never said it's the worst place on earth, only about the most boring, meaning Isaan and not Thailand. Not picky wanting to spend my retirement days doing things I enjoy. that's why I'll be going back as soon as possible.

You made a mistake living in Thailand, it seems....????

[bignok]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is her mouth sore? She should be able to make you happy. 

Or wrist

[bignok]

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Well known college students do sex work to fund their studies and families

Lots of western pros are students.

[n00dle]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

I asked him for proof of his opinion. He hasn't any. A short paragraph asking for proof and making a statement believing most girl students don't get paid to service Thai males more than farangs is hardly rambling, except maybe to one who cannot comprehend it. Or can you prove my sweeping generalization doesn't hold water?

You bloody hypocrite, demanding valdiation and proof froom other posters while spewing your own self-righteous opinion as gospel.

Nothing you purport is supported by fact either. it is not up to us to deprove your negative.

by your own yardstick, it is up to you to provide  evidence.   

Prostitution and sponsorship amongst university students is a decades old practice in Thailand and there are articles discussiing it as far back as 20 years ago. A sponsorship culture (mia nois and gigs ring a bell?) is endemic in thailand and your verbose denials arent changing that anytime soon.

https://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/clg/our-city/university-students-sex-drugs-uniforms/ 

https://www.afr.com/world/thai-officials-order-survey-after-campus-sex-claims-19990910-k8zmv

 

https://thaisabai.org/2012/03/from-bangkok-udon-thani-tale-very-different-thai-girls/

 

and just to be clear noboidy is claiming this is true of all students. only someone entirely obutse would make that claim to validate their own myopoic understanding of the culture. 

[bignok]

2 hours ago, transam said:

"Isaan is one of the most boring places on Earth"....

 

A daft statement..............

Mostly true champ.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, n00dle said:

You bloody hypocrite, demanding valdiation and proof froom other posters while spewing your own self righteous opinion as gospel.

Nothing you purport is supported by fact either. it is not up to us to deprove your negative.

by your own yordstick, it is up to you to provide  evidence.   

Prostitution and sponsorship amngst university is a decades old practice in Thailand and there have been articles dicusiing it as far back as 20 years ago. A sponsorship culture is endemic in thailand and your verbose denial arent changing that anytime soon.

https://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/clg/our-city/university-students-sex-drugs-uniforms/ 

https://www.afr.com/world/thai-officials-order-survey-after-campus-sex-claims-19990910-k8zmv

 

https://thaisabai.org/2012/03/from-bangkok-udon-thani-tale-very-different-thai-girls/

Its worldwide. Not a Thai thing.

[n00dle]

Just now, bignok said:

Its worldwide. Not a Thai thing.

Thank you captain obvious, we are however discussing thailand.

shouldnt you be off eslewhere posting pictures of your breakfast?

[bignok]

15 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

It simply amazes me with so many who assume they know who or what a person here is just by them posting a few lines. How can you possibly conclude he is a virgin, a troll, or incompatible? Cultural differences mean something, but not near what basic man and women relationship factors do. People are people everywhere, and all act on the same kind of impulses, emotions and feelings. There are only a few different personality types, and that includes everyone on earth.                                                       Anyone can be compatible with anyone else they are attracted to, at least until they start talking. Then it comes down to good communication skills, trust, and having a background that hopefully doesn't include damage from parental figures.                           A 10 year difference is very small, and the thinking is pretty much the same, as soon as you are an adult, meaning past the age of 21. If someone is a teenager and the other is late twenties or older, then you'll have trouble relating, because the teenager isn't developed as far as maturity and life experiences. She and him can easily get along if they both have mutual interests and future goals. Attraction is obviously already there. He isn't paying her way besides dating, and she is staying with him overnights.                        A woman in her twenties does not have 100's of friends. Most people only have a small circle that they spend much time with. The rest are just acquaintances or friends of friends. Adding people on Facebook doesn't make them friends and companions. As far as everyone knowing about him. Thais hear what other Thais say to them about farangs, and a lot of it is BS. Judging a whole by hearing about a few means nothing. A lot of farangs buy their women here and pay a lot of money to keep them around, which makes it look like that's the way we all operate. The only real way a Thai knows what western life is about is to move there and live it. Hearsay brainwashes many. Believing their friends leads to a big letdown or unrealistic expectations.                                           Having a good male role model is the most important thing a girl can have growing up. This one isn't asking for money and neither is her family. They might not. Some Thais work their way up through College and want to be independent, and unlike the BS some have stated, most girls in college aren't servicing Thai men because most are smart enough to know it's a complete waste of time.

Thai females are very immature usually until late 20s. I wouldnt date a 21yo. They are basically a 15yo brain inside a 21yo body. Dumb as rocks.

[richard_smith237]

7 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

send me her LINE and ill get to the bottom of this.... ????   a Uni girl...aka the holy grail

How 'low' (for want of a better word) are your normal standards if you consider a 'uni-girl' the holy grail ???

 

 

[bignok]

37 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Long drive from the beach, which is an attraction, although some might not care. Fishing and hunting are things I enjoy. No hunting here and fishing is only good in private lakes and a few reservoirs that are far away, with the exception of Sirindhorn, where you need a decent boat. Not anything besides a social drinker, and getting drunk every day isn't my thing, although you can do that anywhere. Boredom drives many to drink more also. If you've seen a few large temples, you've pretty much seen what's to ofer, although being a Christian, they are only something to see being curious of other religions and beliefs. Hill tribes are around Chiang Mai, and though I haven't yet seen them, that's not something you'll visit very often. The food is good, but you can go anywhere and eat good Thai food. Isaan is a great place to grow food, but as far as having anything to do, there isn't much. There aren't any pro sports stadiums to watch teams play like back home. They rarely have concerts in Thailand with music that I like., and none around here anyway. Thai music is okay, but not near what I'm into anyway. There is only one gym about 30 KM from where I live, but it doesn't open until 14;00, which is very inconvenient for me, as I've worked out 50 years , mostly early mornings. Pretty much to me is a boring place.

CM is way better than Isaan. Better food, more western stuff. Gyms etc. Isaan people probably nicer but Lanna food better and a mix of western stuff, airport and train plus mountains in CM.

[n00dle]

16 minutes ago, transam said:

Have you ever heard of paragraphs..........?  ????

i do believe fredwiggy is on the spectrum and unable to consider alternate viewpoints once he has formed a belief. 

I once suspect he was a trolling genius, but now my beliefs fall on the side of fool. 

[transam]

10 minutes ago, bignok said:

Mostly true champ.

To you, probably, some roads are a bit dodgy for your conveyance..........????

 

[FritsSikkink]

5 hours ago, ozthai23 said:

 

 sometimes she feels cold and distant when she is over at my place she will sit on said couch on her phone while I'm in the bedroom watching tv, for hours until midnight

 

She might feel the same as you prefer the TV above talking to her.

[fredwiggy]

21 minutes ago, transam said:

You made a mistake living in Thailand, it seems....????

Sure did

[transam]

2 minutes ago, n00dle said:

i do believe fredwiggy is on the spectrum and unable to consider alternate viewpoints once he has formed a belief. 

I once suspect he was a trolling genius, but now my beliefs fall on the side of fool. 

I tend to agree, though not sure about the "genius" bit.........????

[bignok]

2 hours ago, ozthai23 said:

Literally tells me she doesn't want to any of my money, just grab and food 

So whats the problem? Either stay with her or dump her. People on the internet can't run your life.

[transam]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Sure did

Back home for you then, everything you like is there..............????

[bignok]

5 minutes ago, transam said:

To you, probably, some roads are a bit dodgy for your conveyance..........????

 

Mostly flat, dusty and boring. 

[fredwiggy]

10 minutes ago, n00dle said:

i do believe fredwiggy is on the spectrum and unable to consider alternate viewpoints once he has formed a belief. 

I once suspect he was a trolling genius, but now my beliefs fall on the side of fool. 

One could say exactly the same about you, and in your case, be right. I always consider alternate viewpoints, as that's how one learns all sides, and not only that, finds out what the facts are. Some sides happen to be wrong, and I don't make opinions but go mostly by research of proven facts. I don't form beliefs but see things as they are. When someone says the girl students here all service Thai males more than farangs, he is making an opinion based on listening to these fools you speak of, and not on proven facts. Was I wrong disagreeing with him and stating that not all students service Thai and farang males, or do you foolishly agree with him and go by what a few people say? Anyone who sees my posts and thinks I'm some kind of troll is not only a moron, but can't see that I'm usually trying to help others, quite the opposite of many here who are narcissists that think they are right with their opinions , and jealous because they aren't trying to help but antagonize others because that's all they know.

[bignok]

If I was 33yo again I would find a 28 to 32yo have a kid.

 

I would not stuff around with a 22yo idiot. Life goes fast. You be 45yo before you know it.

 

But up to you.

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, hotandsticky said:

If you don't pay her an 'allowance' somebody else will

I pay for my kid to study and give her an allowance, quite a few parents do.

[observer90210]

Regarding the OP's initial topic I too would give this simple advise that other distinguished posters have also suggested....r u n !! man...run !!!  before some other jealous boyfriend or husband shows up under Yaba and before you start shelling out cash and ending up broke.

 

I may also suggest to get tested for any Hiv or STD...one can never know and hope you did all the bunga bunga with appropriate protection.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

One could say exactly the same about you, and in your case, be right. I always consider alternate viewpoints, as that's how one learns all sides, and not only that, finds out what the facts are. Some sides happen to be wrong, and I don't make opinions but go mostly by research of proven facts. I don't form beliefs but see things as they are. When someone says the girl students here all service Thai males more than farangs, he is making an opinion based on listening to these fools you speak of, and not on proven facts. Was I wrong disagreeing with him and stating that not all students service Thai and farang males, or do you foolishly agree with him and go by what a few people say?

20x more Thai males than farang males. If you discount poor ones still likely 5x to 10x more Thai males being serviced. Just a numbers game.

[LaosLover]

34 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

 How can you possibly conclude he is a virgin, a troll, or incompatible? 

Because it's fun and provides a few laughs.

 

Are we really supposed to be like Dr Phil here?

[ezzra]

Dead man walking: 

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

 

 

[Lacessit]

Being too sore for sex is a huge red flag.

[impulse]

2 hours ago, impulse said:

Advice?

 

Don't take relationship advice from reprobates.

Oh, I forgot my other favorite, though it's not as relevant for Uni Girls...

 

The best paying, most secure and longest lasting job available to many Thai women is "mother of some foreigner's kid"

 

Wear your wubbies.  Check them for holes.

 

On a more complex note, there are a lot of great Thai women and there are some idiots.  The problem is cutting through the cultural differences to figure out if that's the source of friction, or whether she's just an idiot.  That goes both ways, too.

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Not nasty at all, it's a possibility where he lives, how's your diet going? lost loads of weight?

Was that you on the bicycle, the picture you posted? I thought you were like 40 years old and just very immature for your age, but you are not a kid and should know better than to make fun of people - - I am a bit overweight, it goes up and down, but it is really perverse that you seem to care more about my weight than I do... 

[fredwiggy]

6 minutes ago, observer90210 said:

Regarding the OP's initial topic I too would give this simple advise that other distinguished posters have also suggested....r u n !! man...run !!!  before some other jealous boyfriend or husband shows up under Yaba and before you start shelling out cash and ending up broke.

 

I may also suggest to get tested for any Hiv or STD...one can never know and hope you did all the bunga bunga with appropriate protection.

If you read all of what he's been saying about what this girl does, both with him and in her spare time, as far as he can see, she's at school most of the time, has spent days alone with him, he isn't shelling out any money besides dating cash, and he's met her family. Something that's usually done here when a woman is serious about someone. Of course anyone can hide a lot of things, even at her age, but that's something he has to find out for himself in time. Why tell someone to run when you nor anyone else knows what's going on in her life? Jealous that he might have one of the good ones perhaps? And saying she might have a jealous boyfriend or husband on yaba while there are many here that date and marry bar girls, who have a thousand fold more chance of carrying an STD than a University student, have boyfriends and maybe husbands on the side, and are forthcoming with asking for money right off the bat? A "distinguished" poster won't tell someone who's happy with a girl to run. None of us know anything besides what he has told us. Are there red flags? Maybe, maybe not. We aren't living his life. Only hearing a few words about it. He wanted advice. Giving advice doesn't mean telling him to do what you think is right based on being burned by a few Thai girls, but what you think will work for HIM. Like one just said, we aren't supposed to be Dr. Phil. True, some just like to have a few laughs, but some , as I've seen here many times, like to help. I would much rather think someone dating a bar girl would be in more danger than one dating a college student.

[RichardColeman]

3 hours ago, n00dle said:

nosy git.

Not really, my point was a young person in their 30's wanting a relationship with a thai girl has to be either living in Thailand (working) or have the funds to take her to their home country. Basically many young men come here, meet and fall in love with absolutely no way of being able to either A take care of her financially, B have an ability to work, or C take her home. It's not the same for us old codgers who are more financially stable. His girls antics might not be worth the effort if he has no way to take care of her long term anyway - maybe that is what she worries about too and hence acts like she is