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empathy


stoner

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Still in study but empathy might be at least in part physical.

 

Mirror neuron - Wikipedia

"people who are more empathic according to self-report questionnaires have stronger activations both in the mirror system for hand actions[66] and the mirror system for emotions,[61] providing more direct support for the idea that the mirror system is linked to empathy. Some researchers observed that the human mirror system does not passively respond to the observation of actions but is influenced by the mindset of the observer.[67] Researchers observed the link of the mirror neurons during empathetic engagement in patient care.[68]"

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Empathy is the precursor to compassion and forgiveness.  In most cases I'm pretty empathic.

However, 26 years after my daughters death, I'm still having issues feeling empathy for the guy who killed her.
It's a work-in-progress.

 

Edited by connda
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6 minutes ago, connda said:

Empathy is the precursor to compassion and forgiveness.  In most cases I'm pretty empathic.

However, 26 years after my daughters death, I'm still having issues feeling empathy for the guy who killed her.
It's a work-in-progress.

 

You won't be able to put yourself into the feelings of a person who killed your daughter, as that's not normal thinking. All you can do is have forgiveness for him, as you will never forget.

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23 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I am not sure whether I have empathy. I sometimes give money to people much less fortunate than me.

I know I am not a narcissist. No narcissist would ever wear the clothes I do.

If you get emotional when you watch a movie where someone is hurt, and can put yourself in their shoes and understand how they are feeling, and it bothers you, you have empathy. If you can cry when you see someone hurt, knowing they aren't doing well, you have empathy. If you see an animal killed on the street, or hurt by another, beaten , starved or neglected, and it bothers you, you have feelings for that animal, and that's also empathy. Giving others money is more sympathy, but it's also empathic if you understand how they are feeling having little.

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23 hours ago, sirineou said:

still you could feel bad for them. I am sure they dont "secret eat" because they want to be overweight and have no social life.

Which is the subject of this Thread, and not why people overeat. 

I can empathize but at the same time realize they eat too much or have a terrible diet.   There are exceptions but they are extremely rare.  A drastically slower metabolism for example is rare but even if true is not an excuse to be fat.  You simply eat less than the next person.  Fat is a choice.  It may even bring greater joy than being fit for some.

 

My only issue is I have to pay for unhealthy peoples' lifestyles which is a bummer every time I pay my health insurance.  Also flying long haul  economy next to a person that is using a third of my seat is no fun. 

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7 minutes ago, atpeace said:

I can empathize but at the same time realize they eat too much or have a terrible diet.   There are exceptions but they are extremely rare.  A drastically slower metabolism for example is rare but even if true is not an excuse to be fat.  You simply eat less than the next person.  Fat is a choice.  It may even bring greater joy than being fit for some.

 

My only issue is I have to pay for unhealthy peoples' lifestyles which is a bummer every time I pay my health insurance.  Also flying long haul  economy next to a person that is using a third of my seat is no fun. 

I don't mean to be snarky, really I don't!!

But does anyone in this thread really knows what empathy means? 

I think many confuse empathy with sympathy. 

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2 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I don't mean to be snarky, really I don't!!

But does anyone in this thread really knows what empathy means? 

I think many confuse empathy with sympathy. 

You might be right.  I feel their desire to be healthy and the pain it must cause for some.  I  don't agree with their choices. I think that is empathy and like yourself, I'm not being snarky.  Is that empathy?

 

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5 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I don't mean to be snarky, really I don't!!

But does anyone in this thread really knows what empathy means? 

I think many confuse empathy with sympathy. 

 

Do you want the OED definition?
Or the definition in common usage today?

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5 minutes ago, atpeace said:

You might be right.  I feel their desire to be healthy and the pain it must cause for some.  I  don't agree with their choices. I think that is empathy and like yourself, I'm not being snarky.  Is that empathy?

 

Not an expert in the subject but, the above is also my understanding. 

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16 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I don't mean to be snarky, really I don't!!

But does anyone in this thread really knows what empathy means? 

I think many confuse empathy with sympathy. 

If you read what I said, you would see what it means. This is a simple explanation............

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy?
 
 
 
The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy - Psychiatric ...
 
Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another. Empathy is our ability to understand how someone feels while sympathy is our relief in not having the same problems.
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On 10/29/2023 at 10:49 AM, stoner said:

do you feel if its good for your life or not.

 

i used to want to help anyone who seemed to need help. my wife told me that it would get me nothing but trouble. she is kinda right so i am trying to curb my helping habit. many times i saw foreigners who seemed lost and i tried to help many times told to mind my own business. once, in bkk, i had a turkish guy who needed to make a call. he asked me for my phone, which i lent, he made his call which i paid for. hung up, handed me my phone turned around and walked away without so much as a thank you. now, 

 

but, stoner, if ever you need help let me know... you are one of the good guys ✌️

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4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

If you read what I said, you would see what it means. This is a simple explanation............

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy?
 
 
 
The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy - Psychiatric ...
 
Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another. Empathy is our ability to understand how someone feels while sympathy is our relief in not having the same problems.

My understanding.

 

 

em·pa·thy
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
"he has a total lack of empathy for anybody"
 
"
sym·pa·thy
/ˈsimpəTHē/
 
  1. 1.
    feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
    "they had great sympathy for the flood victims"
    2.
  2. understanding between people; common feeling.
    "the special sympathy between the two boys was obvious to all"
"

 

So someone  might not have sympathy  for all the reasons they stated, but understand and share the feelings of another. 

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1 minute ago, newbee2022 said:

Did miss something? Where is the connection between 15 second videos and empathy?

Or did you start your Halloween booze already?🎃

 

the connection is that this thread, unlike the vast majority of 15 second videos you may consume daily.....has something worth talking about.

 

shoot even you thought it was worth it to make your snide remark. 

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1 minute ago, stoner said:

 

the connection is that this thread, unlike the vast majority of 15 second videos you may consume daily.....has something worth talking about.

 

shoot even you thought it was worth it to make your snide remark. 

Read a book about empathy if you think it's worth to contemplate 🎃

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6 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

You won't be able to put yourself into the feelings of a person who killed your daughter, as that's not normal thinking. All you can do is have forgiveness for him, as you will never forget.

 

6 hours ago, connda said:

Empathy is the precursor to compassion and forgiveness.  In most cases I'm pretty empathic.

However, 26 years after my daughters death, I'm still having issues feeling empathy for the guy who killed her.
It's a work-in-progress.

 

 

Much belated condolence. I agree to not worry about putting "yourself into the feelings of the person" who harmed your family. There's no need to relate to that and relating to that can be harmful to your own psyche. Why put your head into that mindset? You've got enough to deal with in finding a modicum of peace with your loss. But while empathy is often used for compassion which is putting empathy into action, not putting yourself into that person's mindset doesn't mean you can't have compassion for another person's situation whether they'd lost control or if in stupidity by accident found themselves harming others, then living with that guilt if they are so capable, or being punished, or whatever their situation. We can have compassion within our own beings about those externals without empathizing someone else's motivations, without getting into the guy's head to make his thoughts that might have lead to his directed harms or to his carelessness as our own.

 

Similarly, I've never felt it the burden of the offended to then come up with some magical formular of thought to manifest a so-called forgiveness for someone else's horrendous action, especially if theirs was entirely willful which in part makes it horrendous. That doesn't mean that you do yourself any favors by going through life bitter. It's probably healthier to let go of a grudge as best you can. The trick here is to realize the nature of things which seems to me less forced, more natural to accept. For instance. if a viper bites me, am I required to "find" forgive for the viper--who requires that of me, the viper? viper don't care. viper is viper--or is it for me to simply realize its nature is to bite. Some forgiveness has it's place. But sometimes forgiveness is a misplaced burden. And sometimes forgiveness is nothing more than giving permission to do it again. Realization might also be a burden but it is rarely if ever misplaced.

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Plenty of university studies concerning empathy. The result is always the same:


- Within family = very high.


- Friends = high.


- Misfortunes affecting thousands of fellow humans far away: = Acknowledement. Possibly sending money to some NGO's at best.


We are not "a brotherhood of man". We are competitors as soon we leave the inner circle of Family/Friends. End of.

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