Last weekend I was waiting for a bus. A man with a white cane and sunglasses walked up and stood at the stop next to me. Knowing that he's blind I ask him which bus he is waiting for. He says "The three, but I'm alright, thank you".

Still waiting, I see the number three roll up. The man continues standing while it moves off. I say nothing and get on my bus a minute or two later. His earlier response, while polite and appreciative, left me with the impression that he valued independence over making sure he caught the bus, so I stayed quiet.

Did I do the right thing?

Last weekend I was waiting for a bus. A man with a white cane and sunglasses walked up and stood at the stop next to me. Knowing that he's blind I ask him which bus he is waiting for. He says "The three, but I'm alright, thank you".

Still waiting, I see the number three roll up. The man continues standing while it moves off. I say nothing and get on my bus a minute or two later. His earlier response, while polite and appreciative, left me with the impression that he valued independence over making sure he caught the bus, so I stayed quiet.

Did I do the right thing?

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What do you think?

Last weekend I was waiting for a bus. A man with a white cane and sunglasses walked up and stood at the stop next to me. Knowing that he's blind I ask him which bus he is waiting for. He says "The three, but I'm alright, thank you".

Still waiting, I see the number three roll up. The man continues standing while it moves off. I say nothing and get on my bus a minute or two later. His earlier response, while polite and appreciative, left me with the impression that he valued independence over making sure he caught the bus, so I stayed quiet.

Did I do the right thing?

I think you tried to do the right thing by respecting the man's independence but inadvertantly failed to help. Most people with disability use routine to assist them. If he normally catches teh number three from that stop he may have an alarm set on his watch to tell him when it is due and then he will listen for the bus to arrive. This one may have been a bit early.

Ethic like morals are our guidelines. We use them to help us to make the "right" decision or to do the right thing. I would have said "excuse me your number 3 has just arrived"

Interesting point you raise though

CB

I believe you did do the right thing vic. I would have reasoned as you did were I in that situation. If the situation were different and the mistake would have presented the man in danger, than speaking up would be in order.

absolutely right! You tried to help and the guy refused. Som Nam Naa....

Had a similar situation in a namecard shop the other day ...saw the girl designing a sticker in German language on the computer. There were two spelling mistakes and I tried to help her to correct it. She ignored me twice...so it will be the customer who will tell her...

You made the effort to assist despite the consequences - That puts you 10 paces ahead already.

If that's what he said, you did the right thing! I don't think I would have been able to restrain myself! I would have blurted out "it's the three, it's the three" So fair play to your self restraint.

yeah, or yelled at him, " <deleted>?! Are you fookin Blind or summat? Your bleedin bus is here!!!"

NB: I love the English language

WeII you did try. If it had been me, i may have pointed out that it is the number three, pureIy because i dont know if i couId have stopped myseIf. If, I did not point it out, then I wouId have asked him again before Ieaving if I couId heIp.

Maybe it wouId have irritated the heII out of him and I wouId have been that 'one more heIpfuI person' that finaIIy causes him to 'Ioose it'. The smiIe on my face fading into a perfect 'O' as he gets out the MP5 from under that Iong trench coat .....

How do you know it was THAT number three he was waiting for? He could have been early and waiting for his buddy to arrive. Then together they where getting the next number three. Don't beat yourself up about it CDN, you asked and got a reply. End of

I would have waited to see what bus he eventually got on, joined him, and said, so why are you going to Dhaka today.

It is a toss up really Vic, you gave him advice and perhaps he quite proudly refused it.

I think I would have mentioned something like, ' Here's your bus now', conversationally. But then again I might just have said, 'Sod It', and bought myself a beer whilst waiting for my bus.

A toss up really, could have gone either way.

Moss

I have been thinking about this one and I think it's more a question of would it be unethical to say nothing? So no, the more I think about it, how could it be? The chap made his choice for whatever reason, and hey, nobody died, he just had to get a later bus!

I also had a memory of a friend of mine who drove a bus in Dublin. He told me that when you saw a blind person standing at a bus stop you stopped and stated what bus you were driving.

Not that you are worried about it, but I say, don't worry!

It's the bus driver's fault. If he/she sees a white cane at the bus stop, he/she should announce the bus number when he/she opens the door. Report him/her, CVic. You have rights in Canada!

From the perspective of the Buddha's teachings, your intention was to help the stranger so you did fine.

Last weekend I was waiting for a bus. A man with a white cane and sunglasses walked up and stood at the stop next to me. Knowing that he's blind I ask him which bus he is waiting for. He says "The three, but I'm alright, thank you".

Still waiting, I see the number three roll up. The man continues standing while it moves off. I say nothing and get on my bus a minute or two later. His earlier response, while polite and appreciative, left me with the impression that he valued independence over making sure he caught the bus, so I stayed quiet.

Did I do the right thing?

I can relate to your question, because I had a similar experience, which also provided an answer for me. I worked in an Independence Living Center for awhile as a housing researcher for people with disabilities. This organization was also managed by people with disabilities, so I learned protocol and etiquette from the disabled community themselves.

One of the caseworkers there was this beautiful, handsome, gorgeous inside-and-out blind guy. His cubicle was right in front of mine, and we had a great, friendly, bantering work camraderie. He had a seeing eye dog that came to work with him everyday, and threw up in the office one afternoon (the 9-5 day gets to everyone after awhile). Anyway, I didn't help him clean it up, because, after all, we work in an Independence Center, and I had it drilled into my head that the people with disabilities are independent and don't need any help.

He was stressed out, and it turns out that somehow I made him feel bad because I didn't help him out! Who knew??? He was such a hottie, I would've jumped on the first chance to help him out, but I thought I was doing the "right" by not helping.

I think the best thing is to trust your judgement. If you are polite and respectful and truly looking out for their best interests without being patronizing, they will know. You should always ask before extending help.

Nice to see you again Kat!

So, the way way I see it vic, you were both courteous and non patronizing. The gentleman asserted his independance and you respected that. Maybe the experience will allow the man to accept assistance from good intentioned strangers next time.

Thanks for the responses everyone. Those things are tricky situations sometimes.

In Kat's situation I think I understand why he took things that way. Had it been a sighted friend it would have been expected that you offer help. Had this been a friend at the bus stop I probably would have spoken up too. I think we expect and tolerate more from our friends. Still I can see where she was coming from. The whole atmosphere of the place was one of letting disabled people be self sufficient.

Nice to see you again Kat!

Thanks thaibebop! Nice to see you again, too.

So, the way way I see it vic, you were both courteous and non patronizing. The gentleman asserted his independance and you respected that. Maybe the experience will allow the man to accept assistance from good intentioned strangers next time.

Yes. Either that, or he has to live with his mistakes and shortcomings just like the rest of us.

Thanks for the responses everyone. Those things are tricky situations sometimes.

In Kat's situation I think I understand why he took things that way. Had it been a sighted friend it would have been expected that you offer help. Had this been a friend at the bus stop I probably would have spoken up too. I think we expect and tolerate more from our friends. Still I can see where she was coming from. The whole atmosphere of the place was one of letting disabled people be self sufficient.

Yeah, good point Vic. By the way, it was the dog that threw up, not the guy. I just re-read my post and I was sleep deprived when I wrote it.

His feelings were hurt because when he was asking me where things were, I told him and walked away. I think it came off as abrupt, because, well - he's blind, and I didn't linger because of my trying too hard to do the "correct" thing. I think in the end, if you are respectful which also means not treating them like helpless objects, they will appreciate it if you offer to help. But, don't be insulted if they do not want to be helped. That is part of their struggle to remain independent.

Have you considered the number three bus you saw was not the number three bus he was waiting for?

For example if he was waiting for a friend or wife who might pop down on the bus to pick him up?

Or a certain bus driver who always picks the guy up because they have a chat or whatever? My Dad's a bus driver and on his regular routes there are always elderly people or disabled people that need a hand and he's there regular driver, first name terms and all. Maybe he was waiting for the number three that always gives him a bib of the horn when he gets there.

End of the day, any number of possibilities so wouldn't worry about it.

Have to say though, I would have said something though, and I bet you wish you had as well.

Have to say though, I would have said something though, and I bet you wish you had as well.

No, actually I feel I did the right thing. I have to respect his choices and it's only missing a bus, not being hit by one.

Have to say though, I would have said something though, and I bet you wish you had as well.

No, actually I feel I did the right thing. I have to respect his choices and it's only missing a bus, not being hit by one.

But you would have knew whether you done the right thing or not, it's gonna play on your mind now.

You do what you can. I remember getting so angry when I worked in HK. I used to hold the door open for folks behind me and they would not say thanks or even acknowledge me. Many would also run to slip through the door opened by another, so it would slam in my face. Then I realised that nobody wanted to touch anything "public", so I got used to doing it, too. (I also used my foot to open the ladies' loo door, and open, close and lock the cubicle door. Paper towel to open the doors on departure.) Back in Canada, you can pick out the Hongcouverites by their same bad manners; funny thing is that the Canadian-born Chinese seem to get the most irked by them,

Funny that my manners came back to me in Thailand. Small courtesies never go amiss.

You do what you can. I remember getting so angry when I worked in HK. I used to hold the door open for folks behind me and they would not say thanks or even acknowledge me. Many would also run to slip through the door opened by another, so it would slam in my face. Then I realised that nobody wanted to touch anything "public", so I got used to doing it, too. (I also used my foot to open the ladies' loo door, and open, close and lock the cubicle door. Paper towel to open the doors on departure.) Back in Canada, you can pick out the Hongcouverites by their same bad manners; funny thing is that the Canadian-born Chinese seem to get the most irked by them,

Funny that my manners came back to me in Thailand. Small courtesies never go amiss.

I've noticed that many asian immigrants and tourists to Canada bring the same habits with them that annoy westerners who travel to Asia. Things like standing in large groups in the middle of a busy pathway on stores and such. Fortunately they don't find it rude when you borrow from their culture and give them a polite shove out of the way.

Well, I'm disappointed in my fellow Bedlamites. No-one (not even the klown! For shame, Kayo!) has come up with the true & unequivocal answer to this.

It's really simple:

The guy wasn't really blind. It was one of those hidden camera shows. You were their 15th victim, that day & will be featured on national (possibly international, with syndication) television, keeping schtum while the "poor blind guy" misses his bus. But don't worry, another 10 people did the same as you, 2 bellowed in his ear "It's the three!!", one walked off & got that beer, as Mossfinn suggested, and the final one was arrested as he tried to bodily lift the "blind" man & manhandle him onto the bus!

You do what you can. I remember getting so angry when I worked in HK. I used to hold the door open for folks behind me and they would not say thanks or even acknowledge me. Many would also run to slip through the door opened by another, so it would slam in my face. Then I realised that nobody wanted to touch anything "public", so I got used to doing it, too. (I also used my foot to open the ladies' loo door, and open, close and lock the cubicle door. Paper towel to open the doors on departure.) Back in Canada, you can pick out the Hongcouverites by their same bad manners; funny thing is that the Canadian-born Chinese seem to get the most irked by them,

Funny that my manners came back to me in Thailand. Small courtesies never go amiss.

I've noticed that many asian immigrants and tourists to Canada bring the same habits with them that annoy westerners who travel to Asia. Things like standing in large groups in the middle of a busy pathway on stores and such. Fortunately they don't find it rude when you borrow from their culture and give them a polite shove out of the way.

I was just laughing about this the other day on my way to work. About 40 Chinese tourists in yellow shirts smack in the middle of the sidewalk.

Well, I'm disappointed in my fellow Bedlamites. No-one (not even the klown! For shame, Kayo!) has come up with the true & unequivocal answer to this.

I stand shamed and disgraced.

Nothing changes.

Where is it they have those pedestrian crossings where you press a button if you want to cross the road with lights to stop the traffic and when the lights have changed it goes "peep peep peep" so blind people know it's safe to cross ?

I used to practice making that "peep peep peep" sound.

But I never did it.

I am evil but not THAT evil.