Looking for help

[spidermike007]

10 hours ago, andych said:

Met 3 times in last year, with 1 week alone together. Keep in touch every day. 

Take your time, you have no idea who she is, what she's made of, and where she comes from. You've heard a story which may or may not be true, and it takes time to know whether or not the person has real integrity, and the kind of qualities that make her worthy of your devotion.

 

So take your time, and never, ever allow her to push the time table. 

[andych]

12 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Take your time, you have no idea who she is, what she's made of, and where she comes from. You've heard a story which may or may not be true, and it takes time to know whether or not the person has real integrity, and the kind of qualities that make her worthy of your devotion.

 

So take your time, and never, ever allow her to push the time table. 

Thanks, as you say i am taking my time. Being cautious, and rereading messages. . I feel it is at least 75% true, trying to put pieces together as I go on.

The main thing is trust, which for me is hard due my past relationships. But the one thing is she has not asked me for any money, or had a single baht off me yet, since the meal when I first saw her. And has offered to pay for meals when we are out a few times.

 Offered next time I visit later this year, we go and visit Kalasin, but she doesn't  want to go back she says.

[GinBoy2]

1 hour ago, andych said:

Thanks, as you say i am taking my time. Being cautious, and rereading messages. . I feel it is at least 75% true, trying to put pieces together as I go on.

The main thing is trust, which for me is hard due my past relationships. But the one thing is she has not asked me for any money, or had a single baht off me yet, since the meal when I first saw her. And has offered to pay for meals when we are out a few times.

 Offered next time I visit later this year, we go and visit Kalasin, but she doesn't  want to go back she says.

Well thats quite noble of her, although...

 

She may well not want to go back to Kalasin, since as soon as the folks she owes money to see you they will assume it's payday, thats a classic!

 

You probably need to also understand what 'debt' is for a lot of Thai's. 

 

We're not talking bank loans, credit cards, for most of them it's loan sharks.

 

These people aren't afraid of some violence to extract payment

 

Tread carefully my friend!

Edited February 3 by GinBoy2

[Liquorice]

16 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well thats quite noble of her, although...

 

She may well not want to go back to Kalasin, since as soon as the folks she owes money to see you they will assume it's payday, thats a classic!

 

You probably need to also understand what 'debt' is for a lot of Thai's. 

 

We're not talking bank loans, credit cards, for most of them it's loan sharks.

 

These people aren't afraid of some violence to extract payment

 

Tread carefully my friend!

Cobblers!

[andych]

9 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Well thats quite noble of her, although...

 

She may well not want to go back to Kalasin, since as soon as the folks she owes money to see you they will assume it's payday, thats a classic!

 

You probably need to also understand what 'debt' is for a lot of Thai's. 

 

We're not talking bank loans, credit cards, for most of them it's loan sharks.

 

These people aren't afraid of some violence to extract payment

 

Tread carefully my friend!

I think it is because she has no one close there, And again i tried to ask about the debt, not to pay it off but if there was any help . She said again it is credit card, and she will pay it of her self. 

I won't  help her out financially. Maybe see if there is help available. But I do think she is either being very clever, or is not very smart person, immature I would say. 

[brianthainess]

On 1/20/2024 at 8:39 AM, ezzra said:

As for her debts, I don't think so because it is HER debts before you got married, so IMO, no issue there,

There certainly is an Issue, the loan sharks will come banging on your door looking for her to repay, If you are with her in Thailand no matter what province you are in they will find you.

[brianthainess]

On 2/3/2024 at 4:50 PM, andych said:

Offered next time I visit later this year, we go and visit Kalasin, but she doesn't  want to go back she says.

"coz the loan sharks are out for blood.

[youreavinalaff]

3 hours ago, brianthainess said:

There certainly is an Issue, the loan sharks will come banging on your door looking for her to repay, If you are with her in Thailand no matter what province you are in they will find you.

Rubbish.

[youreavinalaff]

3 hours ago, brianthainess said:

"coz the loan sharks are out for blood.

It's a credit card debt.

[jts-khorat]

On 2/1/2024 at 2:48 PM, theoldgit said:

Evidence of employment can be useful provided the employer confirms the leave of absence has been approved for the duration of the proposed trip, along with evidence of income from the employer for a reasonable period of time.

 

Which very obviously means, that the "understanding employer" is just another trope brought forward regularly. I have known restaurant owners to give out such letters of intent for a small fee, to satisfy this need, for girls they had never seen before in their life.

 

For the OP speaks, that he met this girl actually employed in a restaurant.

[jts-khorat]

1 hour ago, jts-khorat said:

For the OP speaks, that he met this girl actually employed in a restaurant.

 

To add: if the OP actually would bring this woman to the UK and she does want to work there, having her ask for a letter of recommendation from her employer, entailing what her work experience is, would be a thing I would do. Past employers, if she can get hold of them and it makes any sense (eg international companies, a surprising number of Thais have worked in the Eastern Seaboard in basic electronics or car manufacture roles,  something which could translate into a helpful bullet point in her CV).

 

In Thailand, nobody asks for such a thing, but if she does not want to work money in hand in a Thai restaurant in the UK, some sort of background could be useful, as will be notarized translations of her school certificate (another thing Thais rarely think about, and normally you will have to get them in person from the school itself, if you do not have the originals any more, so quite the bother).

 

Having both was, at least in the beginning, helpful for my wife as she came to Germany.

[theoldgit]

On 2/12/2024 at 11:21 AM, jts-khorat said:

 

Which very obviously means, that the "understanding employer" is just another trope brought forward regularly. I have known restaurant owners to give out such letters of intent for a small fee, to satisfy this need, for girls they had never seen before in their life.

 

For the OP speaks, that he met this girl actually employed in a restaurant.

Maybe, but the applicant will still have to provide evidence of their employment, along with pay slips and corresponding bank evidence, the evidence that their job is available on their return is an add on.

 

UKVI decision makers may, and often do, make phone calls to the employer to clarify the evidence they have provided to the applicant.

 

The dodgy paid for letters you seem to be familiar with is only half of it.

[GinBoy2]

So maybe I'm wrong.

 

But for many of us reading this, the debt, if she's that worried about it, it's not a bank it's a loan shark, they will hurt her , or you if you are around.

 

As for getting a visa, tourist or immigrant  to any Western country it's pie in the sky given everything you have described

 

I'd be looking at Plan B for the next phase of your life, this is a nightmare in the making

 

[andych]

A quick update for all the doubters and naysayers.

Turned up unexpected on Monday, she is working, see me at table and yelped and starts crying. Runs over and hugs me saying I am a week early.

I had already booked a room in hotel opposite for 1 night with option to extend. 

Any way we are in Karon and talking. And the best part is her debt. 

150000 baht

I could pay it off and she pay me back. But I want her to pay the debt her self if she was to move to England. She says something about reconciliation of debt. Her English is not the best 

Planning for visitors visa in August for 2 months.

[couchpotato]

5 minutes ago, andych said:

A quick update for all the doubters and naysayers.

Turned up unexpected on Monday, she is working, see me at table and yelped and starts crying. Runs over and hugs me saying I am a week early.

I had already booked a room in hotel opposite for 1 night with option to extend. 

Any way we are in Karon and talking. And the best part is her debt. 

150000 baht

I could pay it off and she pay me back. But I want her to pay the debt her self if she was to move to England. She says something about reconciliation of debt. Her English is not the best 

Planning for visitors visa in August for 2 months.

This is fantasy world ...

[rasg]

On 3/9/2024 at 4:29 AM, andych said:

A quick update for all the doubters and naysayers.

Turned up unexpected on Monday, she is working, see me at table and yelped and starts crying. Runs over and hugs me saying I am a week early.

I had already booked a room in hotel opposite for 1 night with option to extend. 

Any way we are in Karon and talking. And the best part is her debt. 

150000 baht

I could pay it off and she pay me back. But I want her to pay the debt her self if she was to move to England. She says something about reconciliation of debt. Her English is not the best 

Planning for visitors visa in August for 2 months.

My wife's English was not the best when we met but almost ten years later it's as good as it will ever be. She understands almost everything that is said to her and you have that perfect fall back using Google Translate if you need to explain something specific. 150,000 baht is less than £3500 so not the end of the world to a Brit. To a Thai it's a huge amount of money. I think I mentioned it before but my wife wife used her job as her only reason to return and she was successful in two 6 months visas and a two year visa. She had almost nothing to do with them apart from gathering the information.

 

You need to find out if she has been making payments to the credit card company and if she is paying more than the minimum each month so that the debt is going down.

 

I wish you luck. Meeting my wife back in 2015 was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ignore the naysayers. Too many on here who have been bitten before and want to tell the world about it and always assume the worst.

[GypsyT]

That's a good start.

Forger England for now. Spend a month in Thailand together and then maybe an other in Phu Quoc, Vietnam. It's way easier and cheaper that way to get to know each other.

 

Regarding debt; Thai chicks often have no clue how loans and banking works. They trust blindly and get cheated by "penalties" and other fees. Sounds like she suspect something's not correct.

"Financial reconciliation is the accounting process by which two different data sets are compared to verify that the information within them is accurate."

 

Remember this; Beautiful young Thai women who date us old men are not the the sharpest tool in the shed... you gotta give them some extra rope.

Show some love and just pay of the loan without any future requirements to get your money back. If she pays, fine, if not suck it up and be quiet.

I did that, paid of 350 000THB car loan and 8000THB "late fees", after sharks were getting aggressive and threatened  to confiscate her new CR-V. She loves her new car and it clearly is very important to her self esteem.

I doubt she ever pays me but that's OK. She drove me to everywhere and probably do so in the future too. We are not dating any more but are good friends. Good friends are hard to find. One night stands are easy...

 

[andych]

Another factor is my age, I want to stop working in 5 or 6 years before i am  65 years old. I will be having some savings soon, and thanks to the last 2 posters for positive comments.

Regards payments i thginkshe is making what she can afford to pay, just got back and I think I get the impression, apart from being deeply in love with me becuase she seems so caring and kind, always holding my hand and her smile is beaming after a few days with me, she wants to escape Thailand.

Going back over in June and hopefully have news about visa for her, and her divorce being finalsed. 

[JimTripper]

Hey

Edited April 21 by JimTripper