a hypothetical question.

[nikmar]

Hi all, if I may, I would just like to pick your brains for a second.

 

Let's say, you have a 16 yr old son. He s doing ok, got friends, a bit of a social life, is very active and doing ok at school. In fact, you could say, he s mature a little over his age.

 

One day he comes to you, and asks to have a chat. He has met a girl and he s very happy with her etc. He s not going to let it affect his studies and his sports activities but would like to stay over at her appartment. He then informs you that she s a university student and is 22 years old. In fact he s been with her for the previous 2 months and everything is going ok. Also, they met on a dating app where you're supposed to be over 18. She is, however, aware of his age and is ok with it.

 

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

[novacova]

10 minutes ago, nikmar said:

a hypothetical question

Hypothetical right?

12 minutes ago, nikmar said:

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

Advice for a hypothetical question? Doesn’t seem so hypothetical. It’s going nowhere so personally I’d advise the kid to date a girl his own age, but that’s just me.

[JBChiangRai]

You can't stop teenagers from dating, you can try but you'll more than likely lose the teenager.

 

However, staying over at 16 when he no doubt is still in school is another matter.  You have to gradually release the reins before university, so it's impossible to give an exact answer without knowing the child, and he is a child.

[paulbrow]

Hard to condone statutory rape....

[Will B Good]

6 minutes ago, paulbrow said:

Hard to condone statutory rape....

?

[paulbrow]

Just now, Will B Good said:

?

He's not an adult and she is.... rape (legally) works both ways.

 

[Will B Good]

Just now, paulbrow said:

He's not an adult and she is.... rape (legally) works both ways.

 

Age of consent?

[paulbrow]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

Age of consent?

18, last I knew...

If not, then never mind

Edited June 13 by paulbrow

[Will B Good]

Just now, paulbrow said:

18, last I knew...

 

15 in Thailand

[paulbrow]

2 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

15 in Thailand

Amazing... not old enough to drink but ok to be a father... oh well, never mind then.

[Ralf001]

That lad is tapping a cougar !!

 

Give him a high 5 from me.

[Hummin]

I would wondered what a 22 year old girls intentions was with my 16 year old son? Her background, education, family situation, 

 

Your son is half thai? Who Is popular among girls?  I would maybe think she is a gold digger, all depending on all above. 

 

What if she get pregnant? Anyway, not easy to deal with, and myself started sleep overs with my gf when I was 16. My father wouldnt let me, but I got angry, and just left after a fight where he tried to take my motorbike keys.

 

Still you should be happy he is not 22 and she 16.

 

I understand your question is about age of consent, but the other way around, where it might be more acceptable for a older girl as in example, to be with a younger boy

Edited June 13 by Hummin

[kingstonkid]

Do not try to break them up or tell him he can't see her

 

 

Then again it is your house.  There should be a curfew system during school.

 

Is your wife Thai then I would suggest you meet this girl and find out why she is not dating someone older.

 

The other question is boy Thai.  Then you have a new set of issues.

 

Also make sure he understands about condoms I doubt you want to be a grandfather any time soon.

[AustinRacing]

I would ask him if she has friends interested in an experienced version of him. 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

Have her over to dinner. See if she's smart, how she treats your son, if she is serious in her studies,  is career oriented, appears to have a nice stable  family,  and is respectful to you and your wife, then that's a good sign. Even if she doesn't tick all the boxes you can get a sense if she's likely to lead him astray. 

[mfd101]

21 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

Also make sure he understands about condoms

Yes.

[novacova]

3 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Have her over to dinner.

Good way to find out if she is really a she.

[MickTurator]

9 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Have her over to dinner. See if she's smart, how she treats your son, if she is serious in her studies,  is career oriented, appears to have a nice stable  family,  and is respectful to you and your wife, then that's a good sign.

And if she's got big tits then tell him to get stuck in

[patman30]

invite her to dinner

[Sandboxer]

6 hours ago, nikmar said:

What would your reaction be

 

I would get him a beer, hug him like he's a rock star, and bequeath my dildo collection to him on the spot.

 

I'd also encourage him to bang a baby into that lass. We need more real men like him, not the walking vaginas that are the boys/men in the West these days.

 

I'm jealous. You are a lucky SOB.

[NedR69]

Give him High Fives.  

[nobodysfriend]

7 hours ago, nikmar said:

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

 

Allow him to stay with her .

Teach him what it means to become a father when still young ...

If you do not allow it , he will do it anyway ... and hate you for that . At his age the hormons are stronger ...

[Dirk Z]

You don't have real control over a kid this age who maybe has his head in the clouds. If you have a good relationship with your son and he listens to you, to some extent, tell him that you think this relationship is not such a good idea and that you think it is not going to work in the long run. What happens after that is beyond your control and for him an experience in life from which he may learn. You should also point out that you will not stand up for any possible consequences and that they are his responsibility alone (in keeping with legal situations of course, since he is a minor).

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, Dirk Z said:

You don't have real control over a kid this age who maybe has his head in the clouds. If you have a good relationship with your son and he listens to you, to some extent, tell him that you think this relationship is not such a good idea and that you think it is not going to work in the long run. What happens after that is beyond your control and for him an experience in life from which he may learn. You should also point out that you will not stand up for any possible consequences and that they are his responsibility alone (in keeping with legal situations of course, since he is a minor).

Op, most likely want to know the legal aspect of this created scenario, where most likely a 22 year old boy/man would or could face legal consequences having a 16 year old girl sleeping over! 

 

We tend to look between the fingers when it comes to girls/women, but not so much when it is the opposite way.

 

If it was my son, I could live with it, but if it was my daughter, then that man had to watch his steps carefully. 

 

 

[Skeptic7]

When I was 15-16 in The States, was tapping my 23 y.o. freshman English teacher. Greatest thing ever happened to me❗Knew enough to keep my trap shut to protect her (and let the good times keep rolling). Never told anyone...even my closest friends...until years later, after graduation. She had moved on to another state, married and had children. A cherished, fond and fine memory. Still a great story all these years later. 

 

Hot For Teacher

https://youtu.be/6M4_Ommfvv0?si=v91CSn6Yzx320rvM

 

 

Edited June 13 by Skeptic7

[timendres]

Give him solid advice on the pitfalls to watch out for.

Keep an eye out for signs there is something terribly wrong.

Then let him get on with learning about life...

[chuang]

He has to be your son...

[OneMoreFarang]

Apart from the other questions which other asked already, what does he thinks about their relationship and what does she think about it?

Does he think she is the love of his life, and he wants to marry her when he is old enough? 

Does she want to have just sex?

 

What would he think if she doesn't want him anymore? Or the other way around?

With 16 love hurts - and maybe a lot. Maybe make sure he understands that maybe she doesn't not want to marry him and be happy ever after.

 

Good that he talks with you about this. Make sure the communication continues. 

Edited June 13 by OneMoreFarang

[khunPer]

8 hours ago, nikmar said:

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

Happy for him...

 

He seems like a good boy, asking you about it. If it doesn't work, he'll probably come back and might need some support.

[Tropicalevo]

3 hours ago, paulbrow said:

He's not an adult and she is.... rape (legally) works both ways.

 

It's not rape if both parties and the parents of the 16 year old consent.

And the common crime would be her taking a 'child' from it's parents against their will. Not rape.