a hypothetical question.

[TigerandDog]

3 hours ago, paulbrow said:

He's not an adult and she is.... rape (legally) works both ways.

 

Thailand age of consent for males & females is 15. So no statutory rape involved.

[Grumpy one]

8 hours ago, nikmar said:

Hi all, if I may, I would just like to pick your brains for a second.

 

Let's say, you have a 16 yr old son. He s doing ok, got friends, a bit of a social life, is very active and doing ok at school. In fact, you could say, he s mature a little over his age.

 

One day he comes to you, and asks to have a chat. He has met a girl and he s very happy with her etc. He s not going to let it affect his studies and his sports activities but would like to stay over at her appartment. He then informs you that she s a university student and is 22 years old. In fact he s been with her for the previous 2 months and everything is going ok. Also, they met on a dating app where you're supposed to be over 18. She is, however, aware of his age and is ok with it.

 

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

Ask if he is interested in a 3 some with you 

[LukKrueng]

3 hours ago, Will B Good said:

15 in Thailand

Not really. At 15 if both parties consent then it's ok, but both (and also their parents\guardians) have the right to change their mind after the act, and then it's a case of having sex with an underage person. AFAIK there's no such thing as statutory take in Thailand. There's however a difference between having sex with a child under 13, over 13 but under 15, and over 15 and under 18.

So the op can actually make a complaint to the police and the girl will be in hot water not only for the sex, but also for removing an underage person from his home - similar to human trafficking...

[nikmar]

Thank you all for your replies, very much appreciated. I’m really just after other’s perspective, basically, so to handle it the best way possible

 

I’m very pleased that he came forward to talk about it with me because I wouldn’t have at that age. Some things I got up to at 16 are best not mentioned and my parents never knew a thing.

 

She ll be invited for dinner 1 night and we ll take it from there, but from all that the boy has said, she seems level headed. Studies hard, not a drinker, no tattoos, regular family.  He’s already met her older sister so her family know all about it. His school gave him glowing reports at the recent parent teacher meeting so all good there as well. I think, the moment he starts screwing up at school is where I’ll intervene.

 

My only real question is , as mentioned, what is a , very pretty as it goes, 22 year old doing with a M5 16 year old?

 

Anyway, I think he s going to go through some learning experiences and I ll be ready if he falls. He seems very cool about it all.

 

Oh, I did high five him as well . My boyyyy!!!

 

Thanks again.

[nikmar]

41 minutes ago, Grumpy one said:

Ask if he is interested in a 3 some with you 

 

 

bad bad bad man!!!

[hotchilli]

9 hours ago, nikmar said:

Hi all, if I may, I would just like to pick your brains for a second.

 

Let's say, you have a 16 yr old son. He s doing ok, got friends, a bit of a social life, is very active and doing ok at school. In fact, you could say, he s mature a little over his age.

 

One day he comes to you, and asks to have a chat. He has met a girl and he s very happy with her etc. He s not going to let it affect his studies and his sports activities but would like to stay over at her appartment. He then informs you that she s a university student and is 22 years old. In fact he s been with her for the previous 2 months and everything is going ok. Also, they met on a dating app where you're supposed to be over 18. She is, however, aware of his age and is ok with it.

 

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

Let him learn... both seem fine so encourage him to continue but be respectful.

Invite her over to your place and meet them together.

[jts-khorat]

4 hours ago, Hummin said:

I would wondered what a 22 year old girls intentions was with my 16 year old son? Her background, education, family situation, 

 

Your son is half thai? Who Is popular among girls?  I would maybe think she is a gold digger, all depending on all above. 

 

What if she get pregnant? Anyway, not easy to deal with, and myself started sleep overs with my gf when I was 16. My father wouldnt let me, but I got angry, and just left after a fight where he tried to take my motorbike keys.

 

Still you should be happy he is not 22 and she 16.

 

I understand your question is about age of consent, but the other way around, where it might be more acceptable for a older girl as in example, to be with a younger boy

 

What I would wonder as the father of this son: how is it, that I hear first from it after two months? Between 15-18 is the "age of consent" part, where the parents have a say... but I do understand, that practically it would be difficult to prevent the relationship just by forbidding it (my own son is 24, so I know a little bit about this).

 

I would have a serious talk with the son. He needs to understand that the nature of most relationships, especially in his age, is ephemereal and tell him, that you will have an open ear if things don't go to his plans. I would tell him, that he has all my support, either ending or prolonging the relationship -- if the girl passes muster.

 

The only way to find out intentions would be, to meet the girl. Have her come around for a dinner and have a deep chat where this is supposed to go from her perspective. I would put quite the emphasis on that she explain how she intends to safeguard the emotional health of your son, due to his age and her being of a supposedly more mature age; maybe she can explain herself coherently.

 

If she does not disqualify herself right there, I would widen the net and invite her parents to a similar meeting. This would put responsibility on her whole family (I presume they are Thai, so this would be a cultural thing either way).

 

In the end I would at least try to keep in as close a contact as possible with the girl and her family, as long as the relationship lasts; if it breaks, you might see the signs earlier than your son and cushion him from it; if it lasts, all the better for everybody involved, as you always get the family with the girl if things get as serious as marriage.

 

In the end, it is your son who will need to learn to live in a sometimes disappointing world. You can protect him and guide him, but some errors simply need to be made to gain a perspective for the times he will need to stand on his own. And with 16, this point in time is approaching fast.

 

Edit: @Nikmar, I see you are basically following this script already, I had not seen your last post before posting mine. Good luck, I hope it works out to the best!

Edited June 13 by jts-khorat

[Purdey]

Very difficult to tell a guy he can't see a girl. Better to give him the birds and the bees story and tell him not to do anything stupid.

[Ralf001]

4 hours ago, AustinRacing said:

I would ask him if she has friends interested in an experienced version of him. 

 

Or ask them both if a 3some is on the cards.

 

[Hummin]

44 minutes ago, jts-khorat said:

 

What I would wonder as the father of this son: how is it, that I hear first from it after two months? Between 15-18 is the "age of consent" part, where the parents have a say... but I do understand, that practically it would be difficult to prevent the relationship just by forbidding it (my own son is 24, so I know a little bit about this).

 

I would have a serious talk with the son. He needs to understand that the nature of most relationships, especially in his age, is ephemereal and tell him, that you will have an open ear if things don't go to his plans. I would tell him, that he has all my support, either ending or prolonging the relationship -- if the girl passes muster.

 

The only way to find out intentions would be, to meet the girl. Have her come around for a dinner and have a deep chat where this is supposed to go from her perspective. I would put quite the emphasis on that she explain how she intends to safeguard the emotional health of your son, due to his age and her being of a supposedly more mature age; maybe she can explain herself coherently.

 

If she does not disqualify herself right there, I would widen the net and invite her parents to a similar meeting. This would put responsibility on her whole family (I presume they are Thai, so this would be a cultural thing either way).

 

In the end I would at least try to keep in as close a contact as possible with the girl and her family, as long as the relationship lasts; if it breaks, you might see the signs earlier than your son and cushion him from it; if it lasts, all the better for everybody involved, as you always get the family with the girl if things get as serious as marriage.

 

In the end, it is your son who will need to learn to live in a sometimes disappointing world. You can protect him and guide him, but some errors simply need to be made to gain a perspective for the times he will need to stand on his own. And with 16, this point in time is approaching fast.

 

Edit: @Nikmar, I see you are basically following this script already, I had not seen your last post before posting mine. Good luck, I hope it works out to the best!

I was very independent when I was young, and moved out when I was 17 and started to work fulltime. So nothing my father said or do would have helped, and I think this is the same for most independent boys at that age, whey have to leave and create their own life, do their own mistakes, and make their own experiences. 

 

Im sure this girl have something he desire strongly, and Im sure it will not be the last one in his life. Just hope she do not get pregnant 

[georgegeorgia]

Age of sexual consent is usually 16 on 95% of places 

 

[Chris Daley]

Dude is in highschool and he is banging a milf.  This is the stuff of legends.

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, Chris Daley said:

Dude is in highschool and he is banging a milf.  This is the stuff of legends.

 A 22 year old girl a milf? 

 

Suspicious, 

[john donson]

ask him if she has an older sister

[kingstonkid]

18 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Apart from the other questions which other asked already, what does he thinks about their relationship and what does she think about it?

Does he think she is the love of his life, and he wants to marry her when he is old enough? 

Does she want to have just sex?

 

What would he think if she doesn't want him anymore? Or the other way around?

With 16 love hurts - and maybe a lot. Maybe make sure he understands that maybe she doesn't not want to marry him and be happy ever after.

 

Good that he talks with you about this. Make sure the communication continues. 

 

I think the best way to take this is to have the wife invite her for coffee or lunch and have a long talk with her.

 

I would have a long talk with son along the same lines and then compare with wife. 

 

Ask him where he sees this going and what he wants to do.  What does he see himself doing in 5 years?  Where does he see himself going to school after Matayom?

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

49 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

 

I think the best way to take this is to have the wife invite her for coffee or lunch and have a long talk with her.

 

I would have a long talk with son along the same lines and then compare with wife. 

 

Ask him where he sees this going and what he wants to do.  What does he see himself doing in 5 years?  Where does he see himself going to school after Matayom?

5 years?

I don't know, but when I was 16 maybe I thought as far as the next school year, or the end of school, but certainly not 5 years in the future.

And with a girlfriend at that time, enjoy the moment, obviously we will be happy together for a long time - whatever a long time meant at that time. 

 

And about the girlfriend having a long conversation with the mother of her boyfriend. Somehow, I would find it strange if my mother would tell me she wants to talk alone with my gf for a while. What's the result? Oh son, after I talked to her, we decided she will break up with you. But obviously we all love you. Yeah, sure... 

[kingstonkid]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

5 years?

I don't know, but when I was 16 maybe I thought as far as the next school year, or the end of school, but certainly not 5 years in the future.

And with a girlfriend at that time, enjoy the moment, obviously we will be happy together for a long time - whatever a long time meant at that time. 

 

And about the girlfriend having a long conversation with the mother of her boyfriend. Somehow, I would find it strange if my mother would tell me she wants to talk alone with my gf for a while. What's the result? Oh son, after I talked to her, we decided she will break up with you. But obviously we all love you. Yeah, sure... 

MAt 4 students usually have an idea of what uni they want to go to.

 

As to mom talking believe me if parents care it will happen somehow.  It always does

 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, kingstonkid said:

As to mom talking believe me if parents care it will happen somehow.  It always does

What would happen in such a conversation?

Do you love him? Do you want to marry him?

Do you take the pill?

With how many other guys do you have sex?

Or what?

[SAFETY FIRST]

On 6/13/2024 at 7:30 AM, nikmar said:

hypothetical question 

You're asking a bunch of fuddy duddies a question regarding youth relationships. 😂

 

On 6/13/2024 at 7:30 AM, nikmar said:

Let's say, you have a 16 yr old son

You forgot to include a friend of mine. 👀

 

 

 

 

[transam]

3 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

You're asking a bunch of fuddy duddies a question regarding youth relationships. 😂

 

You forgot to include a friend of mine. 👀

 

 

 

 

Hey, we know you are a bit of an ol' fuddy-duddy, but doesn't mean the rest of us are......

[SAFETY FIRST]

27 minutes ago, transam said:

Hey, we know you are a bit of an ol' fuddy-duddy, but doesn't mean the rest of us are......

 

[roo860]

I'd take him out for a slap up steak meal, coz he can't <deleted> on chicken fried rice! 👌👌

[transam]

31 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

 

How old were you when that was taken......?  🤗

[thailand49]

Turn it around Hypo!  If it was your daughter.

Would help or did I miss something!

Where does ops state this is in Thailand and his son is half Thai?

Edited June 14 by thailand49

[SAFETY FIRST]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

How old were you when that was taken......?  🤗

I was born an old fuddy duddy. 😂

 

 

 

Edited June 14 by SAFETY FIRST

[transam]

Just now, SAFETY FIRST said:

I was born an old fuddy duddy. 😂

 

 

 

Probably.......🤭

[kingstonkid]

20 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What would happen in such a conversation?

Do you love him? Do you want to marry him?

Do you take the pill?

With how many other guys do you have sex?

Or what?

Mom talked to a lot of my gf if I briught them home.  Can't count the numy of dad's I got questioned by.

[BusNo8]

On 6/13/2024 at 7:30 AM, nikmar said:

Hi all, if I may, I would just like to pick your brains for a second.

 

Let's say, you have a 16 yr old son. He s doing ok, got friends, a bit of a social life, is very active and doing ok at school. In fact, you could say, he s mature a little over his age.

 

One day he comes to you, and asks to have a chat. He has met a girl and he s very happy with her etc. He s not going to let it affect his studies and his sports activities but would like to stay over at her appartment. He then informs you that she s a university student and is 22 years old. In fact he s been with her for the previous 2 months and everything is going ok. Also, they met on a dating app where you're supposed to be over 18. She is, however, aware of his age and is ok with it.

 

What would your reaction be. Would you be concerned or would you be happy for him. Not forgetting, of course, about stories of jealous ex boyfriends, extortion scams etc.

 

Looking for advice and some sensibility, thanks in advance.

 

I'd get him a vasectomy and buy him case of condoms for STDs.

[DaLa]

On 6/13/2024 at 4:32 PM, LukKrueng said:

AFAIK there's no such thing as statutory take in Thailand.

Hate to disagree but I've been suffering this from my wife for the last 12 years.