2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Again you're missing what I've been saying, thinking I have a big ego. This after being one of the few men that reads these relationship books. Why do you think I read all of them? I'm not a player, and don't use women. I treated them all well, and since reading the books, even better, especially with the listening part. This doesn't add up to a big ego but an empath. Look that up. Again, are you in a relationship? Married or divorced?How many men have you been with and why aren't you with them now? I have admitted to being wrong but like others, you skim instead of reading all of what I write, or plain just are angry looking, like he said, to fight, or troll.

I treated them all well, and since reading the books, even better, especially with the listening part.

 

You just talked about what I said originally. Far as I can understand them, that's the last thing they want. They want a thug to tell them what to do, and think empathetic men are just weak losers.

I gave up trying to understand them about at that point, but barely scratched the surface.

 

All part of what I was saying about not expecting gratitude from women.

 

You've probably read it, but Men are from Mars, women are from Venus explains it better than I can.

Just now, susanlea said:

Lots of books yet failed relationships. You said you have done bodybuilding for 50 years. Most start age 15 to 18 which means you are over 65yo. Most good relationships occur age 20 to 60. You have already missed the boat. 

I started training seriously at 17, and almost 68 now. Most good relationships start whenever one finds another that's compatible, which means anytime. I missed no boat and will always have someone because I'm good to them. Some have baggage they can't toss, and that ends things. Many people find love in their 60's and even later. Again, a failed relationship is a learning experience, and when you end up with the right one, it doesn't matter if it;s at age 20 or 80. I have 6 children because of a few of these relationships, and I learned from every one of them.

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Yes, there are many leeches out there who's only agenda is using.

Yes. She even used my guilt to keep using me after I left her. I was such a sucker back then.

 

She got married not long after I left her. She must have tried the same BS on him as it didn't last a year.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

I started training seriously at 17, and almost 68 now. Most good relationships start whenever one finds another that's compatible, which means anytime. I missed no boat and will always have someone because I'm good to them. Some have baggage they can't toss, and that ends things. Many people find love in their 60's and even later. Again, a failed relationship is a learning experience, and when you end up with the right one, it doesn't matter if it;s at age 20 or 80. I have 6 children because of a few of these relationships, and I learned from every one of them.

So after 50 years of not so good ones you found mrs right. That story is common in Thailand.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I treated them all well, and since reading the books, even better, especially with the listening part.

 

You just talked about what I said originally. Far as I can understand them, that's the last thing they want. They want a thug to tell them what to do, and think empathetic men are just weak losers.

I gave up trying to understand them about at that point, but barely scratched the surface.

 

All part of what I was saying about not expecting gratitude from women.

 

You've probably read it, but Men are from Mars, women are from Venus explains it better than I can.

That's one of the first books I read, and all of John Grays actually. We are definitely different species, and that's why many relationships fail. Two people coming from two different backgrounds, sets of parents, cultures, religions and different genders, are bound to have trouble relating. Most people fight and it;s necessary to learn each other in different circumstances. It;s how you fight that matters. Some people are damaged, and hate the other gender, and will never get along with any of them.

Just now, susanlea said:

So after 50 years of not so good ones you found mrs right. That story is common in Thailand.

I've had many good relationships with women. Most ended amicably because of different future plans.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

I've had many good relationships with women. Most ended amicably because of different future plans.

What was the longest?

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I treated them all well, and since reading the books, even better, especially with the listening part.

 

You just talked about what I said originally. Far as I can understand them, that's the last thing they want. They want a thug to tell them what to do, and think empathetic men are just weak losers.

I gave up trying to understand them about at that point, but barely scratched the surface.

 

All part of what I was saying about not expecting gratitude from women.

 

You've probably read it, but Men are from Mars, women are from Venus explains it better than I can.

Learn more from watching others than books. Books are full of cliches and exaggerations. I actually believe you shouldn't overthink any of this. Flirt with attractive people then if there's a spark look for common interests. If you love beaches find a beach girl.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

That's one of the first books I read, and all of John Grays actually. We are definitely different species, and that's why many relationships fail. Two people coming from two different backgrounds, sets of parents, cultures, religions and different genders, are bound to have trouble relating. Most people fight and it;s necessary to learn each other in different circumstances. It;s how you fight that matters. Some people are damaged, and hate the other gender, and will never get along with any of them.

I don't hate females, or at least the ones that did me no harm, but hating my wife was good, as it made me survive leaving her. Without hate I'd have been a wreck, as the good times with her were brilliant.

Marriages 7 years, girlfriends 4. How about you, as I asked many times?

Just now, susanlea said:

Learn more from watching others than books. Books are full of cliches and exaggerations. I actually believe you shouldn't overthink any of this. Flirt with attractive people then if there's a spark look for common interests. If you love beaches find a beach girl.

Books are written by psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors who have interviewed thousands of people and couples to determine what works, and all of the ones I've read, as I searched out authors proven, all say the same things.This, along with listening to countless women.

Just now, susanlea said:

Learn more from watching others than books. Books are full of cliches and exaggerations. I actually believe you shouldn't overthink any of this. Flirt with attractive people then if there's a spark look for common interests. If you love beaches find a beach girl.

You obviously missed all the times I've said I have zero romantic interest in a female now, and how I wish I'd never met my two ex's. I'm better off alone than with a woman that may not like me in 5 years time. If I want unconditional love I'll get a dog.

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't hate females, or at least the ones that did me no harm, but hating my wife was good, as it made me survive leaving her. Without hate I'd have been a wreck, as the good times with her were brilliant.

I could have hated females because of the way I was treated by a few, but knew there are good ones out there. Lucky is the man who finds one, stupid is the man who leaves her.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

You obviously missed all the times I've said I have zero romantic interest in a female now, and how I wish I'd never met my two ex's. I'm better off alone than with a woman that may not like me in 5 years time. If I want unconditional love I'll get a dog.

I would agree. Your shipped has sailed. Romance is for younger people. Over 60 the only reason to marry is visa or money. 

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

You obviously missed all the times I've said I have zero romantic interest in a female now, and how I wish I'd never met my two ex's. I'm better off alone than with a woman that may not like me in 5 years time. If I want unconditional love I'll get a dog.

Best advice is to be casual, date a lot, just to have fun, and maybe you'll find one, after time, that you don't want to lose. Have to take a chance or you'll never have anything. There are many, many good women out there who are dying to be with  a man that just doesn't cheat or hit her. Just hard to know who those are.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Books are written by psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors who have interviewed thousands of people and couples to determine what works, and all of the ones I've read, as I searched out authors proven, all say the same things.This, along with listening to countless women.

This, along with listening to countless women.

 

LOL, LOL, LOL.

Women are brilliant in telling men what they want to hear. I'd never take anything a woman said seriously, unless it's business.

 

Just now, susanlea said:

I would agree. Your shipped has sailed. Romance is for younger people. Over 60 the only reason to marry is visa or money. 

Or companionship, sex, laughs together, someone who's hand you can hold while driving, to enjoy music and movies together, make food together, watch a sunrise or sunset. Romance only dies when you do.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Best advice is to be casual, date a lot, just to have fun, and maybe you'll find one, after time, that you don't want to lose. Have to take a chance or you'll never have anything. There are many, many good women out there who are dying to be with  a man that just doesn't cheat or hit her. Just hard to know who those are.

Not in NZ where he lives. Hard to find any attractive women near his age. 

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I could have hated females because of the way I was treated by a few, but knew there are good ones out there. Lucky is the man who finds one, stupid is the man who leaves her.

I thought I'd found The One twice. I was wrong both times. Took years to find out though.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

This, along with listening to countless women.

 

LOL, LOL, LOL.

Women are brilliant in telling men what they want to hear. I'd never take anything a woman said seriously, unless it's business.

 

If you listen to enough of them you can separate the bs from the truth. Some can hide themselves for quite awhile, but after a year or so, you get to knop them if you're spending enough time with them.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Or companionship, sex, laughs together, someone who's hand you can hold while driving, to enjoy music and movies together, make food together, watch a sunrise or sunset. Romance only dies when you do.

Woman after visas and money date guys double their age and say all the right things to trap them.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I thought I'd found The One twice. I was wrong both times. Took years to find out though.

We aren't supposed to be alone, so that means taking chances. Many fail, some last. It does take some time to see if one is right or not.

1 minute ago, susanlea said:

Not in NZ where he lives. Hard to find any attractive women near his age. 

Only women near my age are likely to be a granny. I will never ever wake up next to a granny or one old enough to be a granny. Younger women have zero interest in pensioners without a house.

Just now, susanlea said:

Woman after visas and money date guys double their age and say all the right things to trap them.

And some men fall for it because of desperation. Some can weed through the nonsense after awhile, as you can only fake what you are for so long.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

And some men fall for it because of desperation. Some can weed through the nonsense after awhile, as you can only fake what you are for so long.

Didn't you fall for it?

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

Only women near my age are likely to be a granny. I will never ever wake up next to a granny or one old enough to be a granny. Younger women have zero interest in pensioners without a house.

You would be very surprised just how many nice ladies are out there, again, looking for a decent man, even if he's in an apartment. many are living at home, and are looking to get out. You don't have to settle for anything you don't like. There are millions of women worldwide that have little to nothing and had men in their lives who did them wrong.

Just now, susanlea said:

Didn't you fall for it?

I fell for a pretty face and body.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

We aren't supposed to be alone, so that means taking chances. Many fail, some last. It does take some time to see if one is right or not.

We are not supposed to live as long as we do either.

 

I've been alone longer in my life than I was with someone. It's much less stressful. My first had a teenage daughter. That was something I had zero desire to repeat.

 

Actually, solo mums are all over the place in NZ, and had I been willing to do it again I'd have been spoiled for choice, but after #1 never again with someone else's kids.

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

You would be very surprised just how many nice ladies are out there, again, looking for a decent man, even if he's in an apartment. many are living at home, and are looking to get out. You don't have to settle for anything you don't like. There are millions of women worldwide that have little to nothing and had men in their lives who did them wrong.

and I'll never meet them. No interest, no desire, and not going to compromise on my life again, like I had to do before.

I had to give up too much to make it worthwhile for the little I got out of the relationships. They did well though, which was why they didn't want to give me up.

38 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Most marriages fail, period. Many stay because of that fear or financial worries. Some quit because they are cowards or narcissistic users. Having two people, a male and a female, who are attracted to each other, have good sex, and expect them to stay because of that is unreasonable. They have to relate in many other ways, and that takes time. This is what I did wrong. I fell in love quickly, like many millions do, and things went south. Happens to almost everyone at least once.

have good sex

 

I'd have been happy with any sex, but I wasn't going to stay once I worked out there was never going to be any more sex.