Does your Thai wife keep you on a short leash?

[newbee2022]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

I think if we have to compromise then we have to compromise - if there is no other option.

But if we can get what we want, why should we compromise?

I lone guy speaking?

[Chadnik]

2 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

If you break down a life just for counting money might be ok for you, not for me.

 

My guess is that Donald Trump has had a great life. As tragic as his need to pull a knife out of his back every half hour I'm sure it's been an epic journey.

[ChaiyaTH]

I guess it depends on the age, with the ones that are still under 35-40 I would say they most times keep tight control. Not with all, I personally am free to do whatever, I guess it is a benefit i do business and it's normal to need and go away for X days or even a long week every while.

[brianthainess]

Does your Thai wife keep you on a short leash?

Woof Woof.

[Kinok Farang]

3 hours ago, Will B Good said:

 

 

Good idea.....he should shift over to the real professionals, Carlson, Rogan, Jones, YouTube......get the real low down on what is happening....

Owen Jones?

[Will B Good]

4 minutes ago, Kinok Farang said:

Owen Jones?

 

 

Hahaha nice try.....Alex of Sandy Hook 'fame'

[Skeptic7]

Nope.

[NanLaew]

On 9/18/2024 at 11:12 AM, BritManToo said:

Incorrect,

........ a woman marries a man for what (she thinks) he can give her.

As for the locals, never had any urge to mix with any outside my bedroom.

I only mix with fellow Brits from the South of England 

 

Still struggling with the culture shock then? No worries, not long now.

[BritManToo]

Just now, NanLaew said:

Still struggling with the culture shock then? No worries, not long now.

Not really, I just don't find the locals interesting.

But as you say, no worries, not long now ...............

[scorecard]

On 9/15/2024 at 9:48 PM, NorthernRyland said:

The background, last year I decided I just can't take living anywhere near Chiang Mai and being exposed to the city. It's making me miserable being stuck in traffic and eating off the sides of noisy roads. All I see being built are these miserable over priced housing developments. Investors bought everything and land prices are absurd. It sucks and I'm done.

 

I told me wife I'm going to have a mental breakdown if I have to stay another year and so now I've been staying at my rental house up in the mountains with my dog and she can visit me on the weekends or wait until I'm bored and come down to here house for a few days. She's been totally fine with this and happy to have some space to herself and make noise watching stuff on her phone. Win-win.

 

I was just back in Colorado visiting family and I told my aunt about this arrangement and she was totally not ok with this and even went so far as to say she would divorce my ass if I did this to her. 😂 Honestly I don't care if I get divorced but I'm not staying in that city until my wife retires in 15 years and I'm not going to let her quit and take care of her so this is where I'm at. If had the same marriage as my aunt and her husband I would have bailed years ago. What a nightmare.

 

Anyways this got my thinking, are Thai women more accepting of this or is it just me? I know 3 of my wives friends that have husbands that work in other provinces and send money back home. Everyone thinks this is normal. Maybe the guys do this to meet their societal obligations and then see girls on the side and that's just how some Thai people do it. No idea but that's the impression I get because there's certainly a pattern here.

 

Curious to know what your experience is. Are Thai women different in this regard?

 

1. What your aunt in Colorado thinks / would do is totally irrelevant. I suggest don't listen to her.

2. Back to the OPs post. I have one farang acquaintance in CM, has quite good legal employment. His Thai wife is a senior accountant / economist, worked for the same big Thai company for about 15 years.

 

They met at a party celebrating a business success for the company. They married 1 year later. Have a big modern house on nice land on the outskirts of CM.

 

He transfers about 95% of his earning to his wife every month. He has to ask her permission to go anywhere, shopping to buy food (he likes to cook) . ...ask her permission to be away for 2 hrs* on Sat / Sun to have coffee with long-term western friends. Western friends wives often attend, all pleasant professional people, good conversation. *she indicated a time limit for him to be away, if he's 5 minutes late he gets a call telling him to be home very soon. 

 

He always asks his wife to attend coffee, she refuses. I went to their house once, she would not allow me to enter the house.

 

He seems to be quite happy with all of this. Tight leash?  

[Keeps]

Myself and my partner are friendly with 5 couples, all being European males with Thai partners. We meet up once or twice a week socially, normally only 1 or two couples absent for whatever reason.

 

The ladies tend to group together, eat some hard to identify nibbles and slag off all the fellas. They will also discuss the latest lotions and potions and how much they cost and the (perceived) benefit to their skin condition and tone. They no doubt discuss all the fellas sexual prowess (or more likely, lack of it). They discuss family matters and how their 'sister' (most likely a lady that one of their friends neighbours once saw on a bus going in a different direction to the one she was on) is.

 

Us blokes sit together, have a beer and discuss football.

 

That aside, my partner is more than happy for me to have some alone time. We don't need to be in each other's pockets 24/7. I go out for a 2 hour walk alone most days and once or twice a week I'll pop out on my own for a couple of beers and to watch a game whilst she stays at home and undertakes her beauty regime.

 

I think it is healthy for a relationship to spend some time apart.

[Thingamabob]

No, and neither I do I keep her on a short lease. Happily married since 1984.

[JamesPhuket10]

On 9/17/2024 at 7:06 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Is there something like "Thai women"?

Some are like this, some are like that. And they behave differently in different situations with different people.

 

Do you think your wife is like all other Thai women? My one is different. 😉 

 

Exactly, when some farang goes on about his Thai wife or gf and then says something like, "You know what they are like", at that point I decided it is time to make my excuses and go, or talk to someone else as I am tired of hearing the stereotypical nonsense they come out with.

 

They say things like, " I had to buy her a car, a house and give money to the relatives etc, you know how it is?"

 

I don't waste my time trying to tell them I don't know how it is as I have never done that, they assume all Thai women are money grabbers and lazy and have not made any money doing a business, etc on their own. 

 

I have decided it is not my job in life to educate them or waste my time. 

 

[JamesPhuket10]

3 hours ago, Keeps said:

Myself and my partner are friendly with 5 couples, all being European males with Thai partners. We meet up once or twice a week socially, normally only 1 or two couples absent for whatever reason.

 

The ladies tend to group together, eat some hard to identify nibbles and slag off all the fellas. They will also discuss the latest lotions and potions and how much they cost and the (perceived) benefit to their skin condition and tone. They no doubt discuss all the fellas sexual prowess (or more likely, lack of it). They discuss family matters and how their 'sister' (most likely a lady that one of their friends neighbours once saw on a bus going in a different direction to the one she was on) is.

 

Us blokes sit together, have a beer and discuss football.

 

That aside, my partner is more than happy for me to have some alone time. We don't need to be in each other's pockets 24/7. I go out for a 2 hour walk alone most days and once or twice a week I'll pop out on my own for a couple of beers and to watch a game whilst she stays at home and undertakes her beauty regime.

 

I think it is healthy for a relationship to spend some time apart.

 

I avoid all of that, there is nothing more boring than couples mixing as one big group.

 

The good thing about the majority of Thai women is they do not drink and going to a bar etc is not the type of thing they want to do, which is great as I can meet up anytime at a bar/pub etc with other guys in my position and have a good drink and talk nonsense session, all good fun.

 

And another rule is, no talking of football in the pub (neither American nor real football).

 

 

[Keeps]

25 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

I avoid all of that, there is nothing more boring than couples mixing as one big group.

Sounds like more of an issue with the company you keep. All the couples I mentioned all enjoy socialising with each other. 

 

26 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

The good thing about the majority of Thai women is they do not drink and going to a bar etc is not the type of thing they want to do, which is great as I can meet up anytime at a bar/pub etc with other guys in my position and have a good drink and talk nonsense session, all good fun.

Sounds like you would rather go out without your partner and just catch up with your 'boring' mates. I do bow down to you though as you seem to know what the majority of Thai women want to do, where they want to go etc. That level of insight is invaluable.

 

33 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

And another rule is, no talking of football in the pub (neither American nor real football).

Why? I assume that no visit to the pub would involve watching a game? Or can you watch a game but are just not allowed to discuss it?

[Elkski]

Back to the OP original post.   How bad is the traffic?  How much has it changed last 5 years?  Does she cook often so you can eat at home in quiet? 

I couldn't hear the bad air in CM or anywhere.   It's bad enough in USA sometimes.   Luckily the forest fires were not so bad this year. 

Is the air better in your mountain getaway? Does it have a view?  To me there is peace in being above or upriver  from the crowds.   Where do you eat up there?  

[JamesPhuket10]

1 minute ago, Keeps said:

Sounds like more of an issue with the company you keep. All the couples I mentioned all enjoy socialising with each other. 

 

Sounds like you would rather go out without your partner and just catch up with your 'boring' mates. I do bow down to you though as you seem to know what the majority of Thai women want to do, where they want to go etc. That level of insight is invaluable.

 

Why? I assume that no visit to the pub would involve watching a game? Or can you watch a game but are just not allowed to discuss it?

 

I would find it really boring talking about football with a bunch of guys while the dim women sat around talking about makeup etc, I say dim as you said they sit and talk about makeup etc. 

 

I do go out with my partner, there is a daily two-hour walk around the reservoir here in Phuket, and there are hundreds of restaurants on my door step.

 

Lots things to do here.

 

But one great thing is a session with my educated male friends in a pub.

 

If dimwits are talking about football we avoid them. 

 

It is a fact most Thai women do not drink or go to pubs etc.

 

I know it is completely different in the North East as they are regarded by other Thais as party-loving drinkers, oh and gamblers. 

 

Now Rugby Union, that is a different story.

[Ralf001]

On 9/15/2024 at 9:48 PM, NorthernRyland said:

Does your Thai wife keep you on a short leash?

 

 

Nope.

[Keeps]

33 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

But one great thing is a session with my educated male friends in a pub.

I hope that you do not suffer from an inferiority complex when you are drinking with your educated chums. Do you ever get the sense that they pity you in any way but still try and include you within the group?

[NorthernRyland]

1 hour ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

Exactly, when some farang goes on about his Thai wife or gf and then says something like, "You know what they are like", at that point I decided it is time to make my excuses and go, or talk to someone else as I am tired of hearing the stereotypical nonsense they come out with.

 

Stereotypical nonsense? If it was true then the average Thai woman would be the same as the average American woman or another other woman. Clearly this isn't true right? There's a culture which these women grew up in and it's not the same culture as America. You can agree on that right? Therefore it's reasonable to ask if something is typical or not for Thai women.

[NorthernRyland]

58 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Back to the OP original post.   How bad is the traffic?  How much has it changed last 5 years?  Does she cook often so you can eat at home in quiet? 

I couldn't hear the bad air in CM or anywhere.   It's bad enough in USA sometimes.   Luckily the forest fires were not so bad this year. 

Is the air better in your mountain getaway? Does it have a view?  To me there is peace in being above or upriver  from the crowds.   Where do you eat up there?  

What are you trying to say? Can't tell if you're mocking me or not.

[Cameroni]

On 9/16/2024 at 3:32 AM, NorthernRyland said:

 I let my wife speak rudely to me for too long

 

Yes, that's a problem. You should view her statements from the lens of an employer. I look at her statements and ask "would she talk like this to an employer"?

 

If that's not the case I call her on how her statement is not acceptable. I try to nip inappropriate tone in the bud. Not always easy.

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/9/2024 at 8:04 PM, Keeps said:

I hope that you do not suffer from an inferiority complex when you are drinking with your educated chums. Do you ever get the sense that they pity you in any way but still try and include you within the group?

 

I have a degree from a university in London.

 

And an MSc, from Trinity College, Oxford, both in software engineering, I think I can pretty much hold my own in any discussion.

 

I think most people in pubs talking about football probably have only achieved something like an 'O level' in woodwork. 

 

The thing that makes me laugh about footie supporters is they say "We did this and we did that" while talking about a game of footie they watched on TV as though they are part of the club, they fail to realise it is a business out to make money and they have no influence whatsoever on what is going on. 

 

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/9/2024 at 8:13 PM, NorthernRyland said:

Stereotypical nonsense? If it was true then the average Thai woman would be the same as the average American woman or another other woman. Clearly this isn't true right? There's a culture which these women grew up in and it's not the same culture as America. You can agree on that right? Therefore it's reasonable to ask if something is typical or not for Thai women.

 

Yes true, for example, a Thai woman might love to eat Durian while an American woman might prefer an apple or an orange, I could make general assumptions about such things.

 

But I would not be able to make statements like "All Thai women are bossy and controlling or are easy to control, or are mean, or are just after our money" etc, those things have nothing to do with the culture of a particular country. 

[Keeps]

9 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

I have a degree from a university in London.

 

And an MSc, from Trinity College, Oxford, both in software engineering, I think I can pretty much hold my own in any discussion.

 

I think most people in pubs talking about football probably have only achieved something like an 'O level' in woodwork. 

 

The thing that makes me laugh about footie supporters is they say "We did this and we did that" while talking about a game of footie they watched on TV as though they are part of the club, they fail to realise it is a business out to make money and they have no influence whatsoever on what is going on. 

 

You do seem to make sweeping generalisations (I'll use the UK spelling although you seem to switch between this and the US version) without much to back them up. 

 

I discuss football whilst having a beer with friends in a pub or bar yet I was a main board director of two global insurance brokers specialising in Property and Business Interruption insurance and Facultative Reinsurance and managed to retire at the age of 49 with no need to ever work again. I doubt I would have managed this off the back of an 'O level' in woodwork.

 

I also played Rugby Union to quite a high standard, even playing in the front row against Jason Leonard in his fledgling days before he became an England stalwart. Hope this meets with your approval old boy. 

 

You come across as quite an insecure individual needing to 'impress' (and I use the term very, very loosely) with your real or imagined educational achievements.

 

 

[JamesPhuket10]

3 minutes ago, Keeps said:

You do seem to make sweeping generalisations (I'll use the UK spelling although you seem to switch between this and the US version) without much to back them up. 

 

I discuss football whilst having a beer with friends in a pub or bar yet I was a main board director of two global insurance brokers specialising in Property and Business Interruption insurance and Facultative Reinsurance and managed to retire at the age of 49 with no need to ever work again. I doubt I would have managed this off the back of an 'O level' in woodwork.

 

I also played Rugby Union to quite a high standard, even playing in the front row against Jason Leonard in his fledgling days before he became an England stalwart. Hope this meets with your approval old boy. 

 

You come across as quite an insecure individual needing to 'impress' (and I use the term very, very loosely) with your real or imagined educational achievements.

 

 

 

The comment I made regarding my education was a direct reply to someone who questioned my abilities which is why I made it, that seems reasonable to me.

 

So using your logic I could also say you are insecure as you just told me all about your being a director of a board and retiring at 49 etc, your involvement in rugby, and the name dropping, why are you so insecure?

 

Your comment ".......with your real or imagined educational achievements."

 

I will show you my graduation photographs and my Oxford ID card plus my Oxford Union Society members card if you show me yours. 😄

 

Regarding English and US English, this editor has got a mind of its own and sometimes I do not spot the fact it has changed my English spelling to US spelling, it is quite a silly petty point for you to comment on. 

 

My comments on Footie supporters were meant as banter as I do like to watch the World Cup games when they are on.

 

But you should be thanking me for my software engineering skills.

 

Back in 1976, I had a summer job at a large insurance company near Bank tube station in the city of London, the boring job was to take a file, take a percentage of the cover, and work out the premiums, I think it was called reinsurance where a large number of insurance companies would share the risk to minimize their losses in the event of a claim on a valuable item.

 

That has all been computerised now as the job was mind-numbingly dull, but as a poor student, I needed the money. 

[Middle Aged Grouch]

Be it property or your bedtime partner...in Thailand you never buy...just rent...by the hour, by the week, by the month or by the year...

[JamesPhuket10]

18 minutes ago, Middle Aged Grouch said:

Be it property or your bedtime partner...in Thailand you never buy...just rent...by the hour, by the week, by the month or by the year...

From what I have seen a lot of old farangs in Thailand do not have a choice in the matter, they don't have the money to buy property. 😄

 

But renting a bedtime partner, no thanks, I have seen who the 'rentable women' have already been with.

 

But why pay for a partner when we can get one for free?

 

I remember a farang once telling me all Thai women are for sale.

 

I made him a bet, I said go into that bank over there, hand over a note saying you wish to hire the female cashier for ten thousand baht for the night so as not to embarrass her in front of her colleagues. 

 

If you manage it I will give you the ten thousand, but if you fail you give me ten thousand.

 

I have never been taken up on such a bet.

 

Right, that is it, no more comments from me for this evening, I have skived long enough on this site, and now back to "work".

 

Edited October 10 by JamesPhuket10

[Expat68]

8 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

I have a degree from a university in London.

 

And an MSc, from Trinity College, Oxford, both in software engineering, I think I can pretty much hold my own in any discussion.

 

I think most people in pubs talking about football probably have only achieved something like an 'O level' in woodwork. 

 

The thing that makes me laugh about footie supporters is they say "We did this and we did that" while talking about a game of footie they watched on TV as though they are part of the club, they fail to realise it is a business out to make money and they have no influence whatsoever on what is going on. 

 

Wow!! You think you are that good? Pretty sure there will be people out there who can tie you in knots on their favourite subject 

[JamesPhuket10]

3 hours ago, Expat68 said:

Wow!! You think you are that good? Pretty sure there will be people out there who can tie you in knots on their favourite subject 

 

I agree especially if the topic is boring football, Coronation Street, or East Enders for example.

 

I wouldn't have a clue.

 

Seeing as you introduced knowledge of certain subjects, I  am amazed at the number of people who go on about AI as though it exists, it might exist maybe 100 years from now.

 

The simple solution is to ask ChatGPT if it has AI, it will tell you no, but it will tell you it has a set of complex algorithms, machine learning capabilities, and fast links to all sorts of data it can cross-reference in superfast time, much better than Google as a stand-alone system for example. 

 

But it is a fantastic tool as instead of traipsing through thousands of lines of reference manuals when I write system code for iPhone apps it can point me directly to the correct area to look at.

 

But we do have to keep an eye on the results it produces as many times it has got it wrong, eg I asked it to refactor about 300 lines of my code, it was a test to see how good it was, and it got it completely wrong and missed out half of the existing code.

 

Plus if we update it with some new information it says it can not use that info, hence another reason it shows it has no AI, it has to rely on database updates now and then.