Trump chickens out again.

[CharlieH]

Why Aging Men Are Flocking to Thailand for Love –

But the Price They Pay Could Cost Them Everything!

 

The Allure of Affection: Why Ageing Men Seek Physical Intimacy Abroad and the Hidden Costs of Emotional Dependency

 

In recent years, a noticeable trend has emerged of aging men leaving their home countries to seek affection and intimacy in places like Thailand. These men, often in their 50s, 60s, or beyond, find themselves drawn to the promise of younger, attractive women who offer attention—whether genuine or paid for. For many, this experience becomes like an emotional drug, offering a sense of validation, desire, and connection that may have been missing for years. However, this path, while seemingly fulfilling, can lead to emotional dependency and financial ruin.

 

The Unfulfilled Affection at Home

For many older men, the motivation to seek affection outside their home country begins with a sense of emotional deprivation in their current relationships. Long-term marriages often experience a decline in physical affection and intimacy as routine, stress, and ageing take their toll. In many cases, the affection that once was a key component of the relationship diminishes or vanishes, leaving men feeling unwanted, unappreciated, and emotionally isolated.

This lack of affection is not just about physical touch but also emotional connection. A man who feels emotionally disconnected from his partner may begin to long for the validation and appreciation he once experienced or hoped to experience. As years go by, the longing for affection intensifies, and the allure of a place like Thailand—where affection and attention are more easily accessible—becomes stronger.

 

Thailand: A Promised Land of Attention

Thailand, with its reputation for hospitality, warmth, and exotic charm, offers an attractive escape. For aging men, the country represents not just a physical destination but an emotional haven. In Thailand, they often encounter younger women who are willing to offer affection, intimacy, and companionship, sometimes in exchange for financial support. This arrangement, whether based on transactional relationships or seemingly genuine connections, provides these men with what they have been missing—attention, validation, and physical intimacy.

For men who have been starved of affection at home, this newfound attention can feel euphoric. Younger women who show interest, admiration, or even flirtation give these men a renewed sense of vitality. They feel desired, attractive, and important again—emotions they may not have felt in years. This experience can become addictive, akin to an emotional drug, as it offers immediate and intense gratification.

 

The Emotional Drug and Its Effects

For many men, the affection they find in Thailand becomes more than just a casual escape; it becomes an emotional lifeline. Affection and physical intimacy trigger the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and other "feel-good" hormones that create a sense of bonding and happiness. When someone has been deprived of these feelings for an extended period, the desire to hold onto them becomes overwhelming.

However, the downside of this emotional high is the potential for emotional dependency. Men may begin to rely heavily on these relationships for their sense of worth, happiness, and self-esteem. They become attached to the affection, fearing that if they lose it, they will return to the emotional void they were escaping from. This dependency can lead them to prioritise these relationships above all else, making irrational decisions to maintain them at any cost.

 

The Financial Pitfalls

What often starts as an emotional need for affection can quickly spiral into a financial disaster. In Thailand, relationships between older men and younger women often come with financial obligations. Whether it's through direct payments for companionship or the expectation of supporting a partner's lifestyle, the financial commitment can escalate rapidly.

Some men may find themselves spending large sums of money to maintain their relationships, unaware of the long-term consequences. They may buy gifts, provide living expenses, or even fund business ventures for their partners. Over time, these costs can add up, draining retirement savings, pensions, or personal wealth. Many men have found themselves in precarious financial situations, supporting relationships that are either fleeting or built on transactional terms.

In some cases, these relationships are not based on genuine affection but rather the economic motivations of the women involved. While this does not negate the emotional fulfilment the men feel, it can lead to disappointment and financial ruin when the true nature of the relationship becomes clear.

 

The Allure of Escape and the Unseen Costs

The allure of Thailand, or other similar destinations, lies not only in the promise of affection but also in the sense of escape it offers. For many ageing men, travelling to a foreign country represents a break from the stresses and emotional voids of their lives at home. It is a chance to feel young, attractive, and valued once again. However, this escape often comes with unseen costs.

The emotional and financial toll of maintaining these relationships can become overwhelming. Some men may cut ties with their families or friends back home, isolating themselves in pursuit of the emotional gratification they find abroad. This can lead to strained relationships, divorce, or complete social disconnection.

 

The Inevitable Conclusion

For many men who seek affection and intimacy abroad, the journey begins with emotional fulfilment but often ends in disappointment. As the emotional highs wear off and the financial strain mounts, reality sets in. Relationships based on transactions or significant age gaps may struggle to withstand the test of time. In the end, many men are left with diminished finances, broken relationships, and the realisation that the affection they sought was fleeting.

The craving for affection and validation is deeply human, and for those who have been deprived of it, the allure of a place like Thailand can be irresistible. However, without careful consideration and self-awareness, what begins as an emotional escape can quickly turn into a downward spiral. Ageing men who seek affection abroad must be mindful of the potential emotional and financial consequences, understanding that the temporary gratification they find may come at a very steep cost.

 

 

[spidermike007]

There's just a few rules of thumb that have to be applied. Number one you really have to take your time getting to know the woman, if you're not willing to do that then all bets are off, you've already lost.

 

Number two is never get with a woman who's too young or too beautiful, that is nothing but trouble. No problem finding one that is a lot younger than you and quite attractive, but not early twenties and stunning, that's a recipe for disaster. 

 

And number three just bear in mind that the whole game is played differently here, and you don't have to jump over enormous hurdles, you don't have to bow down to uber femininity, and you don't have to give up more than a reasonable amount of treasure, to get what you want. And those that do are considerably less than a tribute to our gender. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

The Inevitable Conclusion

For many men who seek affection and intimacy abroad, the journey begins with emotional fulfilment but often ends in disappointment. As the emotional highs wear off and the financial strain mounts, reality sets in. Relationships based on transactions or significant age gaps may struggle to withstand the test of time. In the end, many men are left with diminished finances, broken relationships, and the realisation that the affection they sought was fleeting.

I've had a fabulous time in Thailand, sex with many attractive women, 2x LTRs and then the one I chose to keep for the past 15 years. Sure it cost me money, but not the 1/2 million pounds that the schoolteacher in the UK took. Essentially I spend less than my pension, so I'll likely never run out of money.

 

Wish I'd discovered Thailand when I was in my 40s.

Jump in , the waters fine, but never spend more than you can afford to lose!

Edited 2 hours ago by BritManToo

[norsurin]

As i posted in another topic i prefer to be single.I learned my lessons after married with a thai lady and some girlfriends there No stress about anything.I do the things i like whenever i want 

The smiling lady change fast as soon its get serious.. jealous..childish..etc etc 

I have some regular girls i meet sometimes but nothing serious and they know it and respect that.Meet for dinner and after honky ponky.I never allow anybody pick me up in the airport.

I want a free life after arriving and i decide who and when i want to meet the lady.

 

[Nick Carter icp]

24 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've had a fabulous time in Thailand, sex with many attractive women, 2x LTRs and then the one I chose to keep for the past 15 years. Sure it cost me money, but not the 1/2 million pounds that the schoolteacher in the UK took. Essentially I spend less than my pension, so I'll likely never run out of money.

 

Wish I'd discovered Thailand when I was in my 40s.

Jump in , the waters fine, but never spend more than you can afford to lose!

 

  Although paying her 10 000 Baht a month over 15 years would be 1. 8 million baht which is £41,051.33 at the current exchange rate .

   And buying a house for her  , would be close to 4 million Baht you would have given her , £100 000 .

[BritManToo]

13 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

Although paying her 10 000 Baht a month over 15 years would be 1. 8 million baht which is £41,051.33 at the current exchange rate .

   And buying a house for her  , would be close to 4 million Baht you would have given her , £100 000 .

I paid 300kbht for the house deposit, then 10kbht/month for her mortgage.

The monthly repayments aren't any more than renting the same house.

A net loss to my total assets of 7,500GBP, I guess if you're working as a Thai schoolteacher that might be significant.

 

Edited 2 hours ago by BritManToo

[kingstonkid]

The deal is to know what you want and be reasonable.  Been here 15 years had numerous long time gf.

 

Stayed away from the young 20-30 group because I know I would die younger and have little in common.

 

I asked a 20 something on a date site why she was interested in some one late 50.  She was honest I have money fairly stable and she will be in her 50 and able to find another husband after I croak.

[jippytum]

Not to say women from other countries don't come with finacial overheards.

Plus there is less stigma if you choose a younger Thai partner. 

[RocketDog]

1 hour ago, norsurin said:

As i posted in another topic i prefer to be single.I learned my lessons after married with a thai lady and some girlfriends there No stress about anything.I do the things i like whenever i want 

The smiling lady change fast as soon its get serious.. jealous..childish..etc etc 

I have some regular girls i meet sometimes but nothing serious and they know it and respect that.Meet for dinner and after honky ponky.I never allow anybody pick me up in the airport.

I want a free life after arriving and i decide who and when i want to meet the lady.

 

Ok

[Wrwest]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

There's just a few rules of thumb that have to be applied. Number one you really have to take your time getting to know the woman, if you're not willing to do that then all bets are off, you've already lost.

 

Number two is never get with a woman who's too young or too beautiful, that is nothing but trouble. No problem finding one that is a lot younger than you and quite attractive, but not early twenties and stunning, that's a recipe for disaster. 

 

And number three just bear in mind that the whole game is played differently here, and you don't have to jump over enormous hurdles, you don't have to bow down to uber femininity, and you don't have to give up more than a reasonable amount of treasure, to get what you want. And those that do are considerably less than a tribute to our gender. 

Agreed, Mike. As a Boomer, I confess that relationships here are like stepping back to a time we were very familiar with. Male expected to provide the financial security and the woman's place to take care of her man. I realize that I open myself up to attack as a rejection of the current relationships in the West ... our generation fought through those changing roles for better or worse, the field is scattered with the divorces/broken relationships. The cultural difference of not automatically assigning older males to the dustbin, the reality of the financial position of the bulk of Thai females ... well, there are many things in our favor to bring us to Thailand in retirement. Personally, I am a very happy camper.

[Confuscious]

First, you need to understand that you don't buy "Love" in Thailand.
You can buy "take care" and maybe "affection", but certainly not "Love".
This "take care" and "affection" have a price tag.
Monthly allowance for the girl; Allowance for her parents and family; A certain degree of luxuary (house, car, etc.).
On top of that, if you chose to marry that girl, you will need to pay for the "Sin Sot".
Failing to accomplish and of these requirements will end your marriage instantly.
Marriages with a Thai girl which are based on TRUE love, where the girl will never ask to pay anything for the marriage or for her family and where the girl has her own income are far and between.

The concept of marriage like we know, where the partners will both work on their future is unknown in Thailand.
I have in my 24 years in this country, many Thai-Foreigner marriages see go down the gutter faster than you blink an eye and the foreigner losing a lot of money.

You also need to be aware that you are a foreigner in their country and will never have the rights to build a marriage together.
The dream of buying your own house and build something together will be soon smashed by the reality that this is a "NO" for foreigners.
You are and will always be a second class citizen in this country.

Last, but not least, be aware that most Thais (specially the north and the north-east) are ONE FAMILY.
You girl is part of that family and she will always be responsable for the family.
As soon as you marry, family members from every corner in Thailand will show up with their problems or their dreams and "have a word" with your girl.
A loan to setup a coffee shop or a little shop, a loan for a motorbike, etc.
Moaning about that loan will be the crack of your marriage.

[Felton Jarvis]

In my case. Andropause is salvation.  I am nearly 75 and my live-in girlfriend is 46. The lure of sex has little sway over me at my age. I do appreciate the companionship and realize that she is with me only because I can support her but she doesn't ask for much. I can tolerate this "end of life" scenario as long as things do not get complicated. I am prepared to be alone if necessary.