So where did you meet your Thai girlfriend or wife?

[fredwiggy]

9 hours ago, jas007 said:

Yes, but if you get repeatedly "divorce raped," how do you take care of your kids? 

By being a father to them for any times you have them. You don't divorce your children.

[fredwiggy]

8 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Because I am not really interested in you gay guys.

Only the Thai men then?

[fredwiggy]

10 hours ago, jas007 said:

But that's exactly what it is. It's a contract.  Unfortunately, at least for now, a contract with no expiration date.  

 

To be sure, some people have all sorts of rationales as to why it's more than just a contract, but that's all they are. Rationalizations. 

 

Anyway, at this point, none of this affects me. There are still girls chasing me around, but I have a conscience.  I could have a girl living with me by tomorrow.  And I could get married, have kids, and have lots of fun.  And I would surely drop dead long before any of them turned into old ladies. But how would that be fair to them? Or any kids? 

 

I'll pass.  

 

 

Actually, to you it's a contract. To others, it's a commitment that both make. Attraction isn't a choice, but choosing to stay with someone is, and more than half of marriages fail, even though some still stay together for a few reasons.

 

When you're attracted to someone, getting together just happens, because attraction isn't a choice. If you're lucky, that other person , and you, both have each others best interests in mind, and your future plans coincide. For most of us, that doesn't happen. 

 

If you go into marriage thinking there has to be a guarantee or warranty, you've already failed, as your partner is a human being and not a toaster. You're both taking a chance, hoping the other is a good partner and one that has your back. 

 

Two people from different backgrounds, two different genders, two different childhoods, and hoping there will be a mutual rewarding union, is a huge chance that usually doesn't work out like you thought it would. Both have to work at the marriage all the time, always putting the other first, never abusing or neglecting the other, and understanding that all couples go through sh*t, fight and dislike the other at times. The only thing that keeps it together is that commitment, as a piece of paper, or contract, isn't going to.

 

Finding a partner that you're attracted to that isn't a covert narcissist, a user, abuser, one who's only in a relationship to get something from you, one who isn't parent material, an alcoholic or drug abuser, one who's childhood was marred by abuse and or neglect, where it exacerbates in adulthood to ruin every relationship, a cheater, manipulator or liar, is a real find that you should do everything to hold onto, as they are the most important thing any man will ever have. When you choose to stay with that person, you have been very lucky, as they've also chosen to stay with you.

 

If both choose not to have children, it's a thousand times easier than with. You can concentrate on each other, as the stress of having children hurts all marriages, but the rewards of raising a child that succeeds is worth it. 

 

If you are of the mind that a marriage is some kind of contract, like you do, it's far better not to involve another person in that thinking, especially if they want a relationship that has a chance of lasting. Anyone with money can have a girl living with them tomorrow, but choose a girl that's only looking for a part time thing, money or to be taken care of for awhile, so the other women can find someone who wants something with a future.

 

And of course don't have children if you don't really want them, as there are already way too many fathers in the world today that don't have a hand in raising their own children. It's better to be a dad to a child for 10 years and pass on than absent for the 18 years they live with you. If everyone had a conscience the world would be a much better place, but that'll never happen.