9 hours ago, jas007 said:

Yes, but if you get repeatedly "divorce raped," how do you take care of your kids? 

By being a father to them for any times you have them. You don't divorce your children.

8 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Because I am not really interested in you gay guys.

Only the Thai men then?

10 hours ago, jas007 said:

But that's exactly what it is. It's a contract.  Unfortunately, at least for now, a contract with no expiration date.  

 

To be sure, some people have all sorts of rationales as to why it's more than just a contract, but that's all they are. Rationalizations. 

 

Anyway, at this point, none of this affects me. There are still girls chasing me around, but I have a conscience.  I could have a girl living with me by tomorrow.  And I could get married, have kids, and have lots of fun.  And I would surely drop dead long before any of them turned into old ladies. But how would that be fair to them? Or any kids? 

 

I'll pass.  

 

 

Actually, to you it's a contract. To others, it's a commitment that both make. Attraction isn't a choice, but choosing to stay with someone is, and more than half of marriages fail, even though some still stay together for a few reasons.

 

When you're attracted to someone, getting together just happens, because attraction isn't a choice. If you're lucky, that other person , and you, both have each others best interests in mind, and your future plans coincide. For most of us, that doesn't happen. 

 

If you go into marriage thinking there has to be a guarantee or warranty, you've already failed, as your partner is a human being and not a toaster. You're both taking a chance, hoping the other is a good partner and one that has your back. 

 

Two people from different backgrounds, two different genders, two different childhoods, and hoping there will be a mutual rewarding union, is a huge chance that usually doesn't work out like you thought it would. Both have to work at the marriage all the time, always putting the other first, never abusing or neglecting the other, and understanding that all couples go through sh*t, fight and dislike the other at times. The only thing that keeps it together is that commitment, as a piece of paper, or contract, isn't going to.

 

Finding a partner that you're attracted to that isn't a covert narcissist, a user, abuser, one who's only in a relationship to get something from you, one who isn't parent material, an alcoholic or drug abuser, one who's childhood was marred by abuse and or neglect, where it exacerbates in adulthood to ruin every relationship, a cheater, manipulator or liar, is a real find that you should do everything to hold onto, as they are the most important thing any man will ever have. When you choose to stay with that person, you have been very lucky, as they've also chosen to stay with you.

 

If both choose not to have children, it's a thousand times easier than with. You can concentrate on each other, as the stress of having children hurts all marriages, but the rewards of raising a child that succeeds is worth it. 

 

If you are of the mind that a marriage is some kind of contract, like you do, it's far better not to involve another person in that thinking, especially if they want a relationship that has a chance of lasting. Anyone with money can have a girl living with them tomorrow, but choose a girl that's only looking for a part time thing, money or to be taken care of for awhile, so the other women can find someone who wants something with a future.

 

And of course don't have children if you don't really want them, as there are already way too many fathers in the world today that don't have a hand in raising their own children. It's better to be a dad to a child for 10 years and pass on than absent for the 18 years they live with you. If everyone had a conscience the world would be a much better place, but that'll never happen.

10 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Yes, some people are of a trusting nature, and that's who the narcissists look for. Very simple, as other narcissists aren't easy targets, as they already don't care, so they can't be as readily used as good people can. Some are also people that try to help others in life, and again, those are the ones targeted.

You sound like a victim

Met mine at a fishing lake.

1 hour ago, rickudon said:

Met mine at a fishing lake.

So you both got hooked ?

9 hours ago, rickudon said:

Met mine at a fishing lake.

I will give that a try.

Here is the link @connda

 

You were saying you met your wife in a soapy massage venue?

On 5/19/2025 at 6:16 AM, fredwiggy said:

Both have to work at the marriage all the time, always putting the other first,

Simp.

i think that has been your problem Fred.

Women want a real man to take the lead.

If you let them think too much it just confuses them. 

51 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Simp.

i think that has been your problem Fred.

Women want a real man to take the lead.

If you let them think too much it just confuses them. 

I agree, I put myself first now and that's worked for the past 15 years 

Fred won't learn though, he read a book about it!

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I agree, I put myself first now and that's worked for the past 15 years 

Fred won't learn though, he read a book about it!

I don’t think all those books he reads written by feminists has helped his cause much.

The perpetual victim sadly.

5 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Simp.

i think that has been your problem Fred.

Women want a real man to take the lead.

If you let them think too much it just confuses them. 

i don't have a problem besides picking women who were damaged by men, mainly their fathers, in childhood. Those who didn't know how to relate to men in adulthood and only caused trouble. Stupid women want controlling bad boy narcissist users. Smart women want a man that is responsible and that provides for his family, and treats his woman as an equal. Your problem is that no one ever taught you what a real man means, so you have a real twisted idea of the reality of a real relationship between a woman and a man. That's why you buy them, as a real woman wouldn't want you.

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I agree, I put myself first now and that's worked for the past 15 years 

Fred won't learn though, he read a book about it!

Try having a real relationship where you didn't pay for the woman and get back to me. I learned in high school how to treat women, and haven't had any trouble being with many. I just picked the wrong ones to have children with, something I thought you did, IF your ex wife was actually the problem and not you. 

4 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I don’t think all those books he reads written by feminists has helped his cause much.

The perpetual victim sadly.

I've had, and raised, 6 children, for 30 years, and by the end of the raising of this one, it will be at least 40. The only one that's not doing so well picked to live near, and now with , her mother, at 19. The others are doing very well, as will this one when I get her to the states.

 

What do you think my cause is? My life revolves around my children, and is the only reason I'm still in Thailand.

 

How am I a victim? I would think with your history, no children, wife and having to purchase women, that you're the real victim here. Not being taught how to relate to the opposite gender it seems.

 

And there's nothing wrong with a feminist, if you actually know what that encompasses. The books I've read weren't written by feminists but psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors, who've studied couples and people in general, to help them in their interpersonal relationships and with their self esteem, depression and other personal problems. I'm thinking you can't fully understand just why a man reads these types of books, and that's the crux of it all. 

On 5/19/2025 at 4:22 PM, MalcolmB said:

You sound like a victim

Everyone's a victim at least once in their lives. Some rise above it, and some continue to be victims. I can honestly say the same thing about you, but you might not understand that.

28 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Try having a real relationship where you didn't pay for the woman and get back to me. I learned in high school how to treat women, and haven't had any trouble being with many. I just picked the wrong ones to have children with, something I thought you did, IF your ex wife was actually the problem and not you. 

You're still looking at 68 after 4 failures though.

Just now, BritManToo said:

You're still looking at 68 after 4 failures though.

3. And yes, I'll look until I find a good match, as I like women and being around them. 

On 5/13/2025 at 1:55 PM, hotsun said:

I can settle for a girl whos had a thai bf or two. Not being the first farang in her life seems awful. Whatever works for you though

That's why I go for ladies who don't speak English (or any other foreign language)... and have a real job, and have a university degree, with no kids and a small family, and not from a farming district.

1 hour ago, JensenZ said:

That's why I go for ladies who don't speak English (or any other foreign language)... and have a real job, and have a university degree, with no kids and a small family, and not from a farming district.

You forgot to add ... they pay for everything 

On 7/9/2025 at 6:09 PM, KhunLA said:

You forgot to add ... they pay for everything 

No, I didn't forget. What I forgot to mention was that she owns her apartment, and I live rent-free. We share other costs.

 

You can find real relationships in Thailand that aren't transactional, but you need to do your homework and have some good luck. That can't happen if, like you, you don't think it is possible. You can't find what you don't believe is available. 

5 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

No, I didn't forget. What I forgot to mention was that she owns her apartment, and I live rent-free. We share other costs.

 

You can find real relationships in Thailand that aren't transactional, but you need to do your homework and have some good luck. That can't happen if, like you, you don't think it is possible. You can't find what you don't believe is available. 

If I met someone like that, she'd probably live in the house I own, instead of me living in her apartment / condo.  She can rent that out, and have the mortgage paid off by tenants, or enjoy the extra income.

 

Anything is possible, I just don't believe you.   

 

Homework, really, what homework ?   Sound even sillier now.  

15 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

If I met someone like that, she'd probably live in the house I own, instead of me living in her apartment / condo.  She can rent that out, and have the mortgage paid off by tenants, or enjoy the extra income.

 

Anything is possible, I just don't believe you.   

 

Homework, really, what homework ?   Sound even sillier now.  

I know what you believe, and you will only get what you aim for. I don't own a house, and was paying big rent, so it was a good solution for me. I don't need your advice about how to take care of my finances.

 

There's no point in disagreeing with you, as you only believe what your limited thinking allows you to think.

 

"Homework" is a colloquial expression used to denote research. You're the only one making silly comments.

 

 

 

 

20 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

and you will only get what you aim for.

You got that part right.   Don't know about aim, after many trial and error, as never aiming for anything, and it just happened 19+ years ago, and still together.  

 

After checking off a couple 'requirements' for a relationship, the rest is easy.  Life is simple, and I'm easy to keep happy.   How the others before her failed miserably is more mind boggling than how we succeeded to by happy together.

 

Life really isn't that hard, and don't know how people complicate it.  I don't do complicated.

2 hours ago, KhunLA said:

You got that part right.   Don't know about aim, after many trial and error, as never aiming for anything, and it just happened 19+ years ago, and still together.  

 

After checking off a couple 'requirements' for a relationship, the rest is easy.  Life is simple, and I'm easy to keep happy.   How the others before her failed miserably is more mind boggling than how we succeeded to by happy together.

 

Life really isn't that hard, and don't know how people complicate it.  I don't do complicated.

Well, your experience in finding a partner is ancient, and you were lucky, or your standards are low.

 

Times have changed since then (19+ years ago). Everyone is advertising on dating apps and social media has taken over, yet you scoff at my list of attributes a potential partner must have, and don't believe I found a self-funded option that ticked my specific boxes. The list I gave was just the start of the requirements. What you think is complicated was actually quite a bit of fun. I didn't just ride into town - I've been here 20 years and tested out quite a few over that time.

1 minute ago, JensenZ said:

Well, your experience in finding a partner is ancient, and you were lucky, or your standards are low.

 

Times have changed since then (19+ years ago). Everyone is advertising on dating apps and social media has taken over, yet you scoff at my list of attributes a potential partner must have, and don't believe I found a self-funded option that ticked my specific boxes. The list I gave was just the start of the requirements. What you think is complicated was actually quite a bit of fun. I didn't just ride into town - I've been here 20 years and tested out quite a few over that time.

NO, I meant complicate the relationship, once started, but not yet living together.   I don't need an app to find partners, that's too easy.  Simply say hello and talk to anyone that interest you.   That pretty much works 100% of the time.

 

If the sex if very good, and the conversation intelligent & funny, that passes all my requirements.  The rest should be easy, but somehow, they want to complicate it.   As stated, I don't do complicated.