Is paying the bar to take a girl out of the bar justified? Or just a scam?

[2long]

Private Dancer, by Stephen Leather

Anyone who hasn't read it and/or cant find a copy feel free to inbox me as I have it on PDF.

It's a 2-day read.

[2long]

Now on 6 pages of replies, has anyone else called BS on this whole thread?

If not, I would like to.

[Hummin]

Just now, 2long said:

Now on 6 pages of replies, has anyone else called BS on this whole thread?

If not, I would like to.

Come on 

 

It is a MalcolmB thread

[BusyB]

On 6/20/2025 at 8:29 AM, actonion said:

She can quit,  but  wont  because the Mamasan  is giving  her a cut  of the 50,000b  or so she believes, having received a cut,  and a returned  to Buriram for a week or two  I  fully expect her to return to the Bar when the boyfriend has gone home

 

100%

[baansgr]

If she walks away from the job her and her whole family have lost face, how do you think these girls get jobs in bars...it's word of mouth passed back to the village from Pattaya, BKK or wherever..your mate will have to pay cos she ain't leaving until he oe someone else does 

[BusyB]

4 hours ago, khunPer said:

She can walk out, if she so wish. But, she might have obligations to the mama san – if what she say about money and getting started is true – and she might (also) get a split on the final bar-fine. It's not umcommon that there is a (kind of voluntary) sum to be paid, and prices might have increased to 50k baht...

 

Also worth to remember that a 58 year old man might not find love only from 26 year old stunning lade – even she is a single mom – she might first of all need for a stady provider for her and her 8 year old daughter, and also the lottery ticket for an upgraded better future. However, it can be win-win and work well – and love can grow in a benefitial relationship...

 

Highly unlikely with that age difference. In 10 years he'll be 67, retired and growing older, at least starting to ponder death ... mentally and physically in a totally different place to her. She'll be 36 and in the prime of life, bursting with beans, libido and energy with a whole life to look forward to. Chances of that holding in a mutually beneficial and happy way are minimal.

 

Tell him not to build a house or go near high balconies in Pattaya.

[crazykopite]

Don’t know have never done it I suppose it’s just another way of earning money for the owners  I use Tinder !

[crazykopite]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:02 AM, MalcolmB said:

I have a “drinking friend” who lives in the UK who has found “true love” in the bar.

He is 58, divorced and seems fairly well off.

She is damn hot, 26 from Burirum province. Friendly, speaks good English, 8 year old daughter lives in Burirum.

He plans to come to Thailand 2-3 times per year. 
She claims to have about 40,000 in debts with crazy interest which is why she is working the bar.

He is going to pay these debts so she can go back to live with her kid in Burirum, and she can get a normal job and he will top up her salary if needed. 
Everyone happy.

 

Except now the bar is demanding 50,000 baht from him so she can go”retire” from the bar. 
And she is agreeing with the Mamasan. “Justified” because Mamasan gave her the job, accommodation, lent her money, bought her clothes etc

It is getting ugly.
He is refusing. Mamasan isn’t budging. 
 

Why can’t she just quit like at any other job? 
Interested to hear views from other bar owners.

Is this standard or are they taking the pi55?

 

 

 

Sounds like one big scam I knew a Frenchie who paid 25,000 baht to have a girl released they lived together however she was back working in the bar 6 months later I suppose if he got his monies worth he wouldn’t complain he had a pizza place she was working for him while they were togro

[VocalNeal]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:02 AM, MalcolmB said:

Why can’t she just quit like at any other job? 

 

The 40,000 is owed to the Mamasan? 👼

[thailand49]

Tell yourself or friend ZIP UP YOUR/HIS PANTS AND RUN, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!  🤣🤑

[Freddy42OZ]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:43 AM, EVENKEEL said:

I can't speak for everyone but at age 67, I'm told frequently I look 45. My usual attire is a freshly ironed dress shirt and slacks with my Italian handstitched loafers....no socks. 

 

You and I are genetically lucky and you also clearly understand that a person's attire helps define whether they are from the higher classes; or they are from the working class.

Most of the old coffin kickers I see shuffling around don't dress like they are middle class or have any self-respect.

[hotsun]

6 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

You and I are genetically lucky and you also clearly understand that a person's attire helps define whether they are from the higher classes; or they are from the working class.

Most of the old coffin kickers I see shuffling around don't dress like they are middle class or have any self-respect.

I dress like <deleted> here so no one talks to me. Works like a charm

[Bday Prang]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:27 AM, NanLaew said:

 

Porn has four letters but

but only 3 inThai

[shocky2012]

Are you talking about the off fee that you pay to the bar? If so, then no — that part isn’t a scam. When you “off” a girl for the night, you’re basically taking away an employee who would otherwise be working and making money for the bar. So the bar charges a fee to make up for that. That part’s pretty standard and makes sense.
 

But now — this 50,000 baht “retirement fee” you’re talking about? Yeah, no. That’s not normal at all. Bars don’t usually ask for that kind of money just for someone to quit. It sounds like something she or the mamasan made up, especially if they're trying to pressure your friend emotionally.
 

In Thailand, like anywhere else, if someone wants to quit a job, they can just quit. There’s no “exit fee” unless they’ve signed some weird contract or owe money to the bar (which still wouldn’t justify 50k).
 

So yeah, paying off some debts? Sure, that happens — your friend wants to help, and that's his choice. But the 50k from the bar? That sounds like a scam, or at the very least, serious emotional manipulation.
 

End of the day, your friend should be careful. A lot of guys fall into this exact same situation — thinking they’re saving someone from the bar life — but end up just getting played.

[2long]

Private Dancer, written by Stephen Leather.

If any members can't find a copy to read, inbox me. I have it on PDF and happy to send.

[Brick Top]

She would lose 25,000 if she just walked out if the bar as she would be doing herself out of her half of the 50,000 scam money .

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, 2long said:

Private Dancer, written by Stephen Leather.

If any members can't find a copy to read, inbox me. I have it on PDF and happy to send.

You call my thread fiction and then you try to hand out a work of fiction?

Are you an idiot?

[NanLaew]

6 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

but only 3 inThai

But nobody here is talking about common Thai nicknames as written in the Thai language.

 

Except you and @Maestro

[Bday Prang]

24 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

But nobody here is talking about common Thai nicknames as written in the Thai language.

 

Except you and @Maestro

you are joining in now

[Bundooman]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:04 AM, papa al said:

me too

That's 2 words or two 'syllables' with a space.

[JRG23]

The truth: 20 years ago I was in the same situation. I had to pay the bar in Pattaya 20k for my girl to get out of the bar. I did pay the money. But we've now been together for 20 years, 18 of those married (all living in Thailand).

I guess paying might actually be worth it?

[ignore it]

6 pages in on a Rookies question.

 

 

 

 

[Hummin]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:18 AM, Hummin said:

Another delicate topic from the man himself 👏

 

Impressed

 

What do you think Malcolm?

 

Still waiting for your answer Malcom

[madone]

16 hours ago, 2long said:

Private Dancer, by Stephen Leather

Anyone who hasn't read it and/or cant find a copy feel free to inbox me as I have it on PDF.

It's a 2-day read.

More like anybody who recommends it is stuck in the past. The book has been losing relevance for decades, yet some aging lothario always touts it as definitive

[madone]

16 hours ago, baansgr said:

If she walks away from the job her and her whole family have lost face

never have a seen such a confidently spoken complete crock of <deleted>. The hookers family will lose face if she quits the job.

for <deleted> sake, get real

 

[NanLaew]

8 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

you are joining in now

And you aren't 

[MalcolmB]

8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Still waiting for your answer Malcom

He is still delaying paying her debts off to see if the Mamasan will budge.

 

The main issue he has is the stupidity of them. The interest on the 40,000 is over 1,000 per day. But the story has changed a few times.

I think he is re-assessing and has read this thread. 
He came up with a generous life changing offer but they don’t seem to understand.

 

The 40,000 baht loan is secured by the lenders with a family rice field in Burirum supposedly. And she is claiming that she didn’t loan the money herself, it was someone else in the family and used to pay off another debt.
 

If it isn’t done this week he will be walking away and leaving her in bar with her never ending debt problem.

He has been with another girl the last two nights. 
 

Looking increasingly likely he will pull out and she will eventually lose the rice field.

[NanLaew]

17 hours ago, 2long said:

Private Dancer, by Stephen Leather

Anyone who hasn't read it and/or cant find a copy feel free to inbox me as I have it on PDF.

It's a 2-day read.

 

It's rather dated and increasingly irrelevant too, but then again, so is the alleged friend of the OP.

 

Is there a cheap novel about the farang who marries a respectable, professional woman, closer to his age, a teacher that he met in a dating website? He took care of the outstanding car note and paid-off around 50 k baht of his new love's "debt"...without realising that was just the interest on her remortgaged home. Since she was due to retire (mandatory) in a few years, she realised that her pension alone wouldn't keep her from the poor house (and a new car) so she pulled the time-served "bar girl" game. The best bit is she didn't even have to get drunk or naked, let alone have sex with the idiot for all these gifts to fall into her lap.

[NanLaew]

2 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

He is still delaying paying her debts off to see if the Mamasan will budge.

 

The main issue he has is the stupidity of them. The interest on the 40,000 is over 1,000 per day. But the story has changed a few times.

I think he is re-assessing and has read this thread. 
He came up with a generous life changing offer but they don’t seem to understand.

 

The 40,000 baht loan is secured by the lenders with a family rice field in Burirum supposedly. And she is claiming that she didn’t loan the money herself, it was someone else in the family and used to pay off another debt.
 

If it isn’t done this week he will be walking away and leaving her in bar with her never ending debt problem.

He has been with another girl the last two nights. 
 

Looking increasingly likely he will pull out and she will eventually lose the rice field.

 

And it all ended happily ever after.

 

Remember Playschool? Is this a "round window" story?

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, JRG23 said:

The truth: 20 years ago I was in the same situation. I had to pay the bar in Pattaya 20k for my girl to get out of the bar. I did pay the money. But we've now been together for 20 years, 18 of those married (all living in Thailand).

I guess paying might actually be worth it?

 

This "my girlfriend is different" story brought to you by...

 

Seriously though, countless foreign men have ponied up and thought nothing of it. Some have a successful and enduring relationship like yourself which speaks more for their fundamentally decent, broad minded and understanding human nature than many here see as male weakness.

 

PS: My girlfriend (and wife and mother) of 18 years is different too.