Went for Chicken Rice, Almost Came Home with a Fiancee: Now What, Mates?

Lewie London · July 1

Was sitting at me favourite local khao man gai stall this arvo, you know, the one on the corner there on Central Road by that 7-Eleven with the three dodgy dogs sleeping in front. Just me, a plate of boiled chicken and rice, two bowls of that clear soup with the boiled radish and a Chang beer to keep me gob well lubricated. Proper peaceful.

Then this fella on a motorbike pulls up next to mine, tries to park, and lightly taps me old scooter. Not a proper smash, just a little nudge that made it tip over with a clang. I weren’t fussed, a friend heading back to Blighty for 9 months donated it to me the other day. The bike’s well aged and looking worse for wear than some of them old slappers on Soi 6, and there weren’t a scratch that wasn’t there before.

Bloke jumps off straight away, full of apologies, says he’ll pay for any damage. I wave him off, tell him it’s nothing. So he goes and pays for me lunch instead and brings over another Chang. Top bloke, I’m thinking.

We get to chatting, couple of geezers with sweaty brows and cold beers. Turns out we’ve crossed paths before, had a laugh trying to get the same temperamental ATM to work outside Central Festival about a month back. We were both swearing at the machine and ended up going to another one next door together.

One thing leads to another, and he goes, “Do you have girlfriend now?” I tells him nah, just enjoying meself out here. He whips out his phone and shows me a pic of his sister, early thirties, proper sort, big almond shaped eyes, works as a nurse at one of the government hospitals in Patts. Says she’s looking for a kind bloke and reckons I could be the ticket. Then he starts giving me the full family CV, says he’s got one brother who works construction up in Nakhon Sawan, and another brother who’s a policeman here in Pattaya. Before I can even think, he’s already tapping his screen, and next thing I know we’re on a video call with his sister. She picks up looking half-asleep in her nurse’s scrubs, eyes wide with confusion as some sweaty farang is waving from a plastic chair next to a chicken cart. I stammered a few words, then pretended the signal was cutting out and killed the call.

Gotta admit, I was tempted. She looked like a doll. But truth is, I’ve had one messy break-up too many in my long history of bad dating choices and I’m only a couple months into me nine month break out here. Last thing I need is getting roped into dinner dates with someone’s sister, having the whole family expecting wedding bells, and knowing one of the brothers has a badge. I’ve come to Thailand to clear me head, not fill it with more drama.

So I told him she looked lovely, but I’m keeping me head down for now. He took it well, finished his lunch, wished me the best, and off he went into the traffic like nothing happened.

Funny how you can go for a quiet plate of chicken and end up with your bike on the ground and nearly video calling your future in-laws.

DaLa · July 1

He knocked your bike over , you should have retaliated by knocking his sister up.

saakura · July 1

Yawn....😶

newbee2022 · July 1

7 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

Was sitting at me favourite local khao man gai stall this arvo, you know, the one on the corner there on Central Road by that 7-Eleven with the three dodgy dogs sleeping in front. Just me, a plate of boiled chicken and rice, two bowls of that clear soup with the boiled radish and a Chang beer to keep me gob well lubricated. Proper peaceful.

Then this fella on a motorbike pulls up next to mine, tries to park, and lightly taps me old scooter. Not a proper smash, just a little nudge that made it tip over with a clang. I weren’t fussed, a friend heading back to Blighty for 9 months donated it to me the other day. The bike’s well aged and looking worse for wear than some of them old slappers on Soi 6, and there weren’t a scratch that wasn’t there before.

Bloke jumps off straight away, full of apologies, says he’ll pay for any damage. I wave him off, tell him it’s nothing. So he goes and pays for me lunch instead and brings over another Chang. Top bloke, I’m thinking.

We get to chatting, couple of geezers with sweaty brows and cold beers. Turns out we’ve crossed paths before, had a laugh trying to get the same temperamental ATM to work outside Central Festival about a month back. We were both swearing at the machine and ended up going to another one next door together.

One thing leads to another, and he goes, “Do you have girlfriend now?” I tells him nah, just enjoying meself out here. He whips out his phone and shows me a pic of his sister, early thirties, proper sort, big almond shaped eyes, works as a nurse at one of the government hospitals in Patts. Says she’s looking for a kind bloke and reckons I could be the ticket. Then he starts giving me the full family CV, says he’s got one brother who works construction up in Nakhon Sawan, and another brother who’s a policeman here in Pattaya. Before I can even think, he’s already tapping his screen, and next thing I know we’re on a video call with his sister. She picks up looking half-asleep in her nurse’s scrubs, eyes wide with confusion as some sweaty farang is waving from a plastic chair next to a chicken cart. I stammered a few words, then pretended the signal was cutting out and killed the call.

Gotta admit, I was tempted. She looked like a doll. But truth is, I’ve had one messy break-up too many in my long history of bad dating choices and I’m only a couple months into me nine month break out here. Last thing I need is getting roped into dinner dates with someone’s sister, having the whole family expecting wedding bells, and knowing one of the brothers has a badge. I’ve come to Thailand to clear me head, not fill it with more drama.

So I told him she looked lovely, but I’m keeping me head down for now. He took it well, finished his lunch, wished me the best, and off he went into the traffic like nothing happened.

Funny how you can go for a quiet plate of chicken and end up with your bike on the ground and nearly video calling your future in-laws.

Another lovely story which could have changed your life. With a beauty at your side and next with some toddlers who would chain you to a family.

Good luck ❤️

save the frogs · July 1

Are all AN members invited to the wedding?

Or only those who dont give you thumbs down?

VocalNeal · July 1

Where's that thread about Ignore?

Jerzy Swirski · July 1

I hope you know what sinsot means

Stocky · July 1

Snaps on a mobile these days!

The 21st century equivalent a sleazy guy with some dodgy Polaroids asking "hey mister, you wanna <deleted> my sister?"

Keeps · July 1

Normally like the OP's (AI) posts but this one is dire. Utter dog sh!t. I am in an incredibly bad mood today so will give the bot the benefit of the doubt.

Tomorrow's better be an improvement though.

Harrisfan · July 1

39 minutes ago, Keeps said:

Normally like the OP's (AI) posts but this one is dire. Utter dog sh!t. I am in an incredibly bad mood today so will give the bot the benefit of the doubt.

Tomorrow's better be an improvement though.

Korat is boring. I understand. Try a better city.

Felton Jarvis · July 1

3 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Was sitting at me favourite local khao man gai stall this arvo, you know, the one on the corner there on Central Road by that 7-Eleven with the three dodgy dogs sleeping in front. Just me, a plate of boiled chicken and rice, two bowls of that clear soup with the boiled radish and a Chang beer to keep me gob well lubricated. Proper peaceful.

Then this fella on a motorbike pulls up next to mine, tries to park, and lightly taps me old scooter. Not a proper smash, just a little nudge that made it tip over with a clang. I weren’t fussed, a friend heading back to Blighty for 9 months donated it to me the other day. The bike’s well aged and looking worse for wear than some of them old slappers on Soi 6, and there weren’t a scratch that wasn’t there before.

Bloke jumps off straight away, full of apologies, says he’ll pay for any damage. I wave him off, tell him it’s nothing. So he goes and pays for me lunch instead and brings over another Chang. Top bloke, I’m thinking.

We get to chatting, couple of geezers with sweaty brows and cold beers. Turns out we’ve crossed paths before, had a laugh trying to get the same temperamental ATM to work outside Central Festival about a month back. We were both swearing at the machine and ended up going to another one next door together.

One thing leads to another, and he goes, “Do you have girlfriend now?” I tells him nah, just enjoying meself out here. He whips out his phone and shows me a pic of his sister, early thirties, proper sort, big almond shaped eyes, works as a nurse at one of the government hospitals in Patts. Says she’s looking for a kind bloke and reckons I could be the ticket. Then he starts giving me the full family CV, says he’s got one brother who works construction up in Nakhon Sawan, and another brother who’s a policeman here in Pattaya. Before I can even think, he’s already tapping his screen, and next thing I know we’re on a video call with his sister. She picks up looking half-asleep in her nurse’s scrubs, eyes wide with confusion as some sweaty farang is waving from a plastic chair next to a chicken cart. I stammered a few words, then pretended the signal was cutting out and killed the call.

Gotta admit, I was tempted. She looked like a doll. But truth is, I’ve had one messy break-up too many in my long history of bad dating choices and I’m only a couple months into me nine month break out here. Last thing I need is getting roped into dinner dates with someone’s sister, having the whole family expecting wedding bells, and knowing one of the brothers has a badge. I’ve come to Thailand to clear me head, not fill it with more drama.

So I told him she looked lovely, but I’m keeping me head down for now. He took it well, finished his lunch, wished me the best, and off he went into the traffic like nothing happened.

Funny how you can go for a quiet plate of chicken and end up with your bike on the ground and nearly video calling your future in-laws.

I think you just became a hero. Obviously not a stupid farang.

BarraMarra · July 1

Do you go to bed thinking these up Lewie of how you can boost your count or click bait. I only got to " This Arvo " and moved on we the British do not use this Term for the Afternoon.

still kicking · July 1

29 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

Do you go to bed thinking these up Lewie of how you can boost your count or click bait. I only got to " This Arvo " and moved on we the British do not use this Term for the Afternoon.

Absolutely correct, only Aussies use that term, arvo

EVENKEEL · July 1

I give high marks for originality.

HappyExpat57 · July 1

I started laughing over the title alone. Keep up the good fiction, Lewie. It gives those sour geezers with no life something to whinge about and keeps the rest of us entertained.

And you KNOW some people open your posts just to do some hating:

Quentin Zen · July 2

12 hours ago, Lewie London said:

I’ve had one messy break-up too many in my long history of bad dating choices

so the problem is not them.....

FolkGuitar · July 2

On 6/30/2025 at 8:43 PM, FolkGuitar said:

Do you even realize that you are right here answering his threads?

Like, not in a different thread. His thread. You don't even have the willpower NOT to post in his threads! Man... you are so hooked!
Hey, I'll see you tomorrow in Lewie's next thread... that you can't resist.

On 6/30/2025 at 9:12 PM, Harrisfan said:

Only if you are there.

9 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Korat is boring. I understand. Try a better city.

Can you remember all the way back to yesterday? When you lied to us?
I guess you just couldn't resist, could you?

You said you would only post if I were here, yet, although I was not, here you are posting again in a thread you don't like, giving us another laugh.

Perhaps we need to use a Fact-checker when you post, like we have to do with your cult leader when he speaks.

FolkGuitar · July 2

Sorry, Lewie. This one just didn't grab me like the previous ones. That said, it wasn't a 'bad' read. It just didn't have the intensity that your stories usually provide. Hey, even Lee Child wrote a bad one now and then!

Please keep 'em coming! They are a fun way to start my day!

Harrisfan · July 2

30 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Can you remember all the way back to yesterday? When you lied to us?
I guess you just couldn't resist, could you?

You said you would only post if I were here, yet, although I was not, here you are posting again in a thread you don't like, giving us another laugh.

Perhaps we need to use a Fact-checker when you post, like we have to do with your cult leader when he speaks.

Yawn

Harrisfan · July 2

26 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Sorry, Lewie. This one just didn't grab me like the previous ones. That said, it wasn't a 'bad' read. It just didn't have the intensity that your stories usually provide. Hey, even Lee Child wrote a bad one now and then!

Please keep 'em coming! They are a fun way to start my day!

Your days are not good then.

FolkGuitar · July 2

38 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Can you remember all the way back to yesterday? When you lied to us?
I guess you just couldn't resist, could you?

You said you would only post if I were here, yet, although I was not, here you are posting again in a thread you don't like, giving us another laugh.

Perhaps we need to use a Fact-checker when you post, like we have to do with your cult leader when he speaks.

7 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Yawn

So lying is so commonplace in your behavior that when caught out, it's just another 'yawn' to you?

Seems to be a common trait among cult members.

I understand. 🙂

Harrisfan · July 2

Just now, FolkGuitar said:

So lying is so commonplace in your behavior that when caught out, it's just another 'yawn' to you?

Seems to be a common trait among cult members.

I understand. 🙂

Your posts are really negative. I never said I would only respond to you. You are a liar and super negative. Get help dude.

FolkGuitar · July 2

10 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Your days are not good then.

Terrible!

Today we start off with two and a half hours at sports.

Then it's off to lunch with some friends, followed by some chores. But then it's back home to start preparing dinner for me and my wife (I think tonight's will be Mexican,) followed by a quiet evening together.
That's fine for me, thanks. 🙂

Harrisfan · July 2

1 minute ago, FolkGuitar said:

Terrible!

Today we start off with two and a half hours at sports.

Then it's off to lunch with some friends, followed by some chores. But then it's back home to start preparing dinner for me and my wife (I think tonight's will be Mexican,) followed by a quiet evening together.
That's fine for me, thanks. 🙂

You aren't allowed to talk to anyone here except Lewie.

Harrisfan · July 2

5 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

So lying is so commonplace in your behavior that when caught out, it's just another 'yawn' to you?

Seems to be a common trait among cult members.

I understand. 🙂

Still waiting for you to show this alleged lie dude.

Harrisfan · July 2

48 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Can you remember all the way back to yesterday? When you lied to us?

No I can't. Do tell.

FolkGuitar · July 2

2 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Your posts are really negative. I never said I would only respond to you. You are a liar and super negative. Get help dude.

My God! Are you really this dense?
I even quoted you in your post saying you would not respond unless I did.
Now you lie about this, too?
F*kn amazing! Your words are right in front of you!
Here. I'll put it up again:

Harrisfan · July 2

1 minute ago, FolkGuitar said:

My God! Are you really this dense?
I even quoted you in your post saying you would not respond unless I did.
Now you lie about this, too?
F*kn amazing! Your words are right in front of you!
Here. I'll put it up again:

You took that literally? You really are dumb. Retired English Prof doesn't get sarcasm too funny :cheesy:

Harrisfan · July 2

3 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

My God! Are you really this dense?
I even quoted you in your post saying you would not respond unless I did.
Now you lie about this, too?
F*kn amazing! Your words are right in front of you!
Here. I'll put it up again:

Sarcasm is the caustic use of words, often in a humorous way, to mock someone or something.

I was mocking you Einstein.

HappyExpat57 · July 2

2 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

My God! Are you really this dense?
I even quoted you in your post saying you would not respond unless I did.
Now you lie about this, too?
F*kn amazing! Your words are right in front of you!
Here. I'll put it up again:

There are some members just BEGGING to be placed on the ignore list.

TRUST me, your AN experience goes back much more like when it was ThaiVisa, MUCH more enjoyable.

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