On 10/19/2025 at 9:52 PM, Mark1969 said:

Examples:

 

1. A restaurant server insists on flipping the pages of a menu for me even when I move away and try to do it myself.

 

2. A laundrymat worker stands there and explains every little thing about how to work the machine at a self-service laundry even when I avoid eye contact and obviously want to be left alone.

 

Does anyone else find this demeaning?

 

I'm a full grown man and feel like I'm being treated like a baby at many places. I don't need someone turning menu pages or telling me how to add soap to a washing machine 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

Is this just the Thai way, or is there a demeaning aspect at play? A control situation? I never see it happen with Thai's to each other.

I've experienced none of those things, nor anything like it and I've lived in Bangkok for a very long time.

Are you or do you look like a geriatric?  

11 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

I've experienced none of those things, nor anything like it and I've lived in Bangkok for a very long time.

Are you or do you look like a geriatric?  

I find that hard to believe.

On 10/19/2025 at 10:52 PM, Mark1969 said:

Examples:

 

1. A restaurant server insists on flipping the pages of a menu for me even when I move away and try to do it myself.

 

2. A laundrymat worker stands there and explains every little thing about how to work the machine at a self-service laundry even when I avoid eye contact and obviously want to be left alone.

 

Does anyone else find this demeaning?

 

I'm a full grown man and feel like I'm being treated like a baby at many places. I don't need someone turning menu pages or telling me how to add soap to a washing machine 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

Is this just the Thai way, or is there a demeaning aspect at play? A control situation? I never see it happen with Thai's to each other.

Provided you services you complained..no service also complained.... what to do.....

30 minutes ago, Mark1969 said:

I find that hard to believe.

 

First off I don't use self service laundromats.  I drop my clothes etc at the condo laundry and they wash and iron everything for me.

If someone does these things why don't you just wave them away?  Just say "My Ow"  (No Need, I don't want it) and they will leave you alone. 

Here are some very simple phrases that might help you https://www.facebook.com/reel/858832729793459 

12 minutes ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

First off I don't use self service laundromats.  I drop my clothes etc at the condo laundry and they wash and iron everything for me.

If someone does these things why don't you just wave them away?  Just say "My Ow"  (No Need, I don't want it) and they will leave you alone. 

Here are some very simple phrases that might help you https://www.facebook.com/reel/858832729793459 

If I did not need something I would just walk away, or not stop at all.

 

That often does not work. They just stand there hovering. You can't really make someone get lost when you need something they offer.

 

It has happened to you, all the time. Be honest.

1 minute ago, Mark1969 said:

That often does not work. They just stand there hovering. You can't really make someone get lost when you need something they offer.

 

1 minute ago, Mark1969 said:

That often does not work. They just stand there hovering. You can't really make someone get lost when you need something they offer.

These are your own problems. As has been stated learn to say "no thank you" in Thai. Be polite and you will be treated the same back. Sadly this does not seem to be the only problem you have integrating into Thai society. I personally have never had this problem nor any that you have previously complained about. 

 

By a washing machine and stop all your problems. Easier by far and pays for itself quickly. 

1 hour ago, marin said:

 

These are your own problems. As has been stated learn to say "no thank you" in Thai. Be polite and you will be treated the same back. Sadly this does not seem to be the only problem you have integrating into Thai society. I personally have never had this problem nor any that you have previously complained about. 

 

By a washing machine and stop all your problems. Easier by far and pays for itself quickly. 

I'm not interested in integrating into Thai society. I guess it's possible to get everything delivered or done for you by paying more like you say. It's just an odd way to live.

On 10/19/2025 at 9:52 PM, Mark1969 said:

Examples:

 

1. A restaurant server insists on flipping the pages of a menu for me even when I move away and try to do it myself.

 

2. A laundrymat worker stands there and explains every little thing about how to work the machine at a self-service laundry even when I avoid eye contact and obviously want to be left alone.

 

Does anyone else find this demeaning?

 

I'm a full grown man and feel like I'm being treated like a baby at many places. I don't need someone turning menu pages or telling me how to add soap to a washing machine 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

Is this just the Thai way, or is there a demeaning aspect at play? A control situation? I never see it happen with Thai's to each other.

I see this sometimes even when I go out to eat with my wife who is Thai.  So it does not only happen to foreigners.  We are handed the menu and the server will stand there waiting for our order.

17 minutes ago, statman78 said:

I see this sometimes even when I go out to eat with my wife who is Thai.  So it does not only happen to foreigners.  We are handed the menu and the server will stand there waiting for our order.

I don't mind that so much, though it makes me feel rushed to order. It's when they get handsy that really bothers me. Touching stuff on the table, grabbing menu's, or insisting I look at something they want me to look at to order, stuff like that. I don't need someone ordering my food of an english menu I can read. I can do that on my own...

 

I take my time with things. Some of it may be the impatience of Thai's in general. They want an order or decision right away and don't like to wait. So when I'm considering things they get impatient, approach and try to force a decision.

... Hoping That You Will Reward Them For Their 'Niceness'... (?)

46 minutes ago, Mark1969 said:

I guess it's possible to get everything delivered or done for you by paying more like you say. It's just an odd way to live.

Just so you know we cook all our meals. Have never used Grab or anything like that. We have had the same housekeeper for 26 years so she does a lot for us but we respect her. She is a member of our family. How can you live here and not integrate? You are missing out on a lot if you do. Be careful you might become like "bob" 555. 

Due to a blocked drain pipe making our washing machine unusable, I found myself down at the nearest laundromat doing the weekly washing. Whilst I was looking at the machine that dispensed tokens for the washers, the service lady came over and told me I needed to touch the qr code on the screen to get started. The qr code was in the top right hand corner and about the size of a postage stamp and quite frankly I think I would have been there for a while before I spotted it. She then told me that if I didn't have the means to scan the QR code and pay via a banking app she would quite happily take the cash from me and use her own phone to buy the necessary tokens.

 

Funnily enough, I didn't walk away feeling hurt or demeaned in any way, quite the opposite.

1 hour ago, marin said:

I personally have never had this problem nor any that you have previously complained about. 

How patient are you?

 

To you decide what you want right away and go on a recommendation from whomever is serving you, or are you more inclined to sit reading the entire menu before ordering or taking your time browsing in shops, etc?

On 10/19/2025 at 10:06 PM, Mark1969 said:

It's not really service. It's a demeaning coddling. Similar to what one would do with a baby or child. 😅

Maybe start acting and tell them that you handle the menu yourself and tell them that you know how to use the machine instead of avoiding eye contact with them.

I don't find number 2 demeaning .

 

, I prefer they have STAFF explain how to use the machine 

Even go into detail 

I had this in a Jomtien complex laundry 

I had no idea how to use the machine 

I took photos etc .

No STAFF to help to show me !

I decided to leave !!! ( With my dirty washing )

 

On 10/20/2025 at 2:06 AM, Mark1969 said:

It's not really service. It's a demeaning coddling. Similar to what one would do with a baby or child. 😅

Your a person who doesn't need moddycoddling 

On 10/20/2025 at 3:19 AM, Mark1969 said:

I get that feeling. I have always liked doing my own laundry though. I also clean my own living space. I don't like sitting around and having every little thing done for me, being driven around everywhere and being constantly catered to. I feel like it makes a person soft and weak.

Your not a "needy " person and kudos to you for that 

You can look after yourself , your probably more introvert and prefer to live alone I guess 

 

Many older guys CANT do things themselves and are NEEDY this trying to find a urgent partner to look after them , many guys go for Filipina girls because they are similar to nurses 

 

47 minutes ago, nahkit said:

Due to a blocked drain pipe making our washing machine unusable, I found myself down at the nearest laundromat doing the weekly washing. Whilst I was looking at the machine that dispensed tokens for the washers, the service lady came over and told me I needed to touch the qr code on the screen to get started. The qr code was in the top right hand corner and about the size of a postage stamp and quite frankly I think I would have been there for a while before I spotted it. She then told me that if I didn't have the means to scan the QR code and pay via a banking app she would quite happily take the cash from me and use her own phone to buy the necessary tokens.

 

Funnily enough, I didn't walk away feeling hurt or demeaned in any way, quite the opposite.

You really need to do some research and study for next time, take photos etc even look at the manual 

Take time to research my friend 

On 10/20/2025 at 12:05 PM, Mark1969 said:

I would be celebrating 🤣

Plenty of places where you are not coddled,  and maybe helped less than you would like to.

First, get out of the farang bubble (someone mentioned Andaman Club - of course, you are coddled in that kind of place,  that's the whole idea of these establishments).

Second, go somewhere where people are not so friendly. So, not Isarn.

How about places where people have a black heart? (Ask a Thai, where that is)

Places, where a farang is not a novelty.

 

Visit Khaosarn.

Take a motorcycle in Samrong.

Figure out the fare of a tuktuk in Phuket.

Get help from a Thai (if you can find one) on Koh Tao.

Many government hospitals are good places to be left alone (and lost).

So are certain bank branches (details by PM)

Try to get a yellow book at deleted

Have you had a physical exam recently ?

It sounds like you might have an arthropod lodged in your posterior.

This is also sometimes called having a bug up your a$$.

Just a thought.

On 10/19/2025 at 10:06 PM, Mark1969 said:

Similar to what one would do with a baby or child. 😅

That's what you are (here).

You cannot even speak!

Do you know on which side of the road to drive? 

Can you read the traffic signs? (Hardly any farang knows them)

Can you read at all?

Can you behave like a grown-up (ie like a grown-up Thai, obviously)?

The list is endless.

I cannot even put my stuff bought at 7/11 into a plastic bag as efficient as their staff. They are professionals,  and I often made a fool out of myself.

 

I understand you,  and I don't like this coddling.

It is quite possible to tell them to stop it - but you have to tell them in Thai, preferably in polite Thai.

 

If you really want to try a foreign culture where you are not coddled, try China. Have fun!

 

It's Thais being helpful. Find something else to worry about.

 

Question yourself, maybe it's up to you🫣

Thai service is the worst in the world.

 

Eric.

Usually those self serve laundry mats do not have an employee standing around. Perhaps someone was just being helpful thinking you might need it. 

 

What i hate is walking into stores and being followed around by an employee. Like i can not look at things without their help. Or they distrust foreigners so much they feel that any foreigner entering needs to be watched constantly for theft or damage to their stock. 

 

This irks me more than anything, because it is not being helpful but instead is pressuring you to either buy something fast or get the heck out of there. 

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Your not a "needy " person and kudos to you for that 

You can look after yourself , your probably more introvert and prefer to live alone I guess 

 

Many older guys CANT do things themselves and are NEEDY this trying to find a urgent partner to look after them , many guys go for Filipina girls because they are similar to nurses 

 

That may be the case. Thailand may attract guys who like being serviced. So when I go anywhere people act like I want that also and respond that way. Then when I don't want them around I get the confused look and hovering.

 

Foreigner over there, better rush over and explain every little thing before they cause a scene!

24 minutes ago, Stressed Eric said:

Thai service is the worst in the world.

 

Eric.

They can spot an A hole a mile away.  

58 minutes ago, cdemundo said:

Have you had a physical exam recently ?

It sounds like you might have an arthropod lodged in your posterior.

This is also sometimes called having a bug up your a$$.

Just a thought.

Lol...a hypocrite you are GrandDad

7 minutes ago, marin said:

They can spot an A hole a mile away.  

The customer is ALWAYS right!

 

We are the ones paying their salary, feeding their kids and their parents.

 

Understand??

 

Eric.

16 minutes ago, Mark1969 said:

That may be the case. Thailand may attract guys who like being serviced. So when I go anywhere people act like I want that also and respond that way.

 

Foreigner over there, better rush over and explain every little thing before they cause a scene!

Absolutely 

I saw old men "pretending" to be needy whilst I was in Pattaya so they could get sympathy etc

I was in that treacherous Sports open air bar in Jomtien opposite the Subway ,an older guy walking stick 2 steps so slow with a walking stick 

 

I just wanted to get out of that despicable sports bar 

 

I said to him ,"your a needy old man who just wants sympathy ,I should take that walking stick off you , you can walk your a pretender