Are Farangs Who Marriages Failed Lucky?

[chinthee]

Very nice looking wife. Not sure about you though...

[canadiangirl]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

Husband? I thought all us feminists were supposed to be lesbians.

Can I watch?

Dear Chinthee,

I'm so stunned that a farang man has expressed sexual interest in a farang woman in the middle of TV, I can't think of anything witty to say.

Edited August 23, 2007 by canadiangirl

[Cujobytes]

Very nice looking wife. Not sure about you though...

Thanks, I got lucky.

But to be fair it's not a very flattering pic of me

I just realized I've got literally thousands of her and our son and 2 or 3 of myself, (which is probably just as well) as I'm usually the one with the camera.

We're 19 years apart and she doesn't speak English. That's about as far as I'd like to push the envelope.

[chinthee]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

Husband? I thought all us feminists were supposed to be lesbians.

Can I watch?

Dear Chinthee,

I'm so flabbergasted that a farang man has expressed sexual interest in a farang woman in the middle of TV, I can't think of anything witty to say.

Canadiangirl, you are a cool chick, and I wish you the best. Please PM me when you come to BKK and I'd be glad to go to morlam clubs with you and anybody else. I'd also be willing to bet that most of these mean-spirited old and getting old men on this forum would be really nice and genuine guys if you met them in person. This internet anonymity is quite deceiving.

[Aujuba]

One thing I wonder about is whether the guys married to the young girls ever have dinner with the young girls parents who might be of the same age. Any stories.

If you think its okay to have a girlfriend who's 18 when you are 50, do you think its okay for a 50 year old high school teacher to take interest in his 18 year old senior student? of course there would be no relationship until the second she graduates. Seems a bit wierd to me.

In Thailand sometimes young girls will take interest in older men but what if the older men were chasing after the young girls. Like hanging out at the icecream parlours near the schools. It's ridiculous although some posters here seem to think that love is the only thing that matters.

Although a lot of people might disagree with my rating system for relationships, I believe it's the best so far to categorize. The gang of 50 year-old guys chasing 18-year-old 'mature' high school girls in shopping malls fits right in 'frowned upon' It's technically not illegal but most people think its wrong. Now some posters are going to say 'It's not the same' etc etc

It's ridiculous when you look at it from a western mind. It's funny how one minute people can say this or that is backwards here in Thailand but their relationships with younger women aren't.

Although you may think I have taken a side in this actually I haven't. I don't know anything other than the whole world being insane.

Edited August 23, 2007 by Aujuba

[Aujuba]

Oh, i forgot when the gang of 50-year-old guys chase the young 18-year-old high school girls through the shopping mall the Benny Hill theme should be played over the Mall's intercom system.

[Cujobytes]

As a thick newbie can someone please tell me what the poll is about?

What does carrying an open can of Leo beer untill BTS (whatever that all means) has to do with wife being 1/2 anyones age. I'm confused.

Have you ever tried to carry an open can of Leo Beer until the BTS?

Yes, and my wife is 1/2 my age

Yes

No

[Cujobytes]

The gang of 50 year-old guys chasing 18-year-old 'mature' high school girls in shopping

Where does this go on? I want to see.

Edited August 23, 2007 by Cujobytes

[canadiangirl]

Oh, i forgot when the gang of 50-year-old guys chase the young 18-year-old high school girls through the shopping mall the Benny Hill theme should be played over the Mall's intercom system.

One of my Thai friends has had a parade of older farang boyfriends. He's 20, these guys are 50-60. Some are good blokes, some are rather dubious, but basically all of them end up bitching about how frivolous and immature he is, which makes me laugh to no end.

I was always reminded of Nabokov's Lolita (how's that for pretention ), where Humbert Humbert the pedophile spends half the book pursuing a 14 year old girl (or something like that), then half the book complaining about how immature she is.

[Dustoff]

Well, at least you don't gender discriminate when you slam others. I find it interesting that you claim to be standing up for women and complain about how men do not respect them, but then you have written more degrading comments about Thai women than anyone else in this entire thread.

Do you really think that these young Thai women you refer to are not intelligent enough to make their own choices - that they merely run along mindlessly chasing a carrot on a stick?

While you admit to being willing to do that, if you made some of these insinuations to my Isaan wife, it would be advisable for you to take a step or two back. Not only is she seemingly (judging from your writings) a bit more intelligent than you, she would be very upset indeed if you challenged her decision to be with a man 30-years her senior.

(Oh, what the heck, I wasn't going to bother anymore, but I can't resist this stupid thread any more than anyone else!)

It's funny how I am always careful to qualify my comments by saying "some women", "in some cases", or "some men" -- specifically to account for the fact that I am commenting on the general situation, not one person's specific relationship -- yet you seem too thick to grasp that.

If I say some Thai women are whores -- well, that's a documented fact. I've hardly called your wife a whore. How could I claim to know anything about your particular relationship? If you jump up and say "you called my wife a whore!" -- you've counted yourself among that number, not me. Deal with your own insecurities.

As for Thai women being intelligent enough to choose for themselves -- Thai women are no different than any other human being on earth -- they pick the best choice among those offered to them. Do you doubt that poor people have less choice than rich people? And yes, I am aware that not all Thais are poor. However, the average monthly salary in Thailand is around 7,800B. (Pay attention again, as I am not talking about whatever your wife's salary is in whatever job she has, but the average salary). Those choices hardly preclude love, but one can get an idea of the forces at play by noting that young beautiful women marrying men 30 years their senior are much rarer in the West.

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Good one, CG. And if I had actually written that, I would agree with you.

If I was too thick to grasp that you qualified your judgments with "some" in most cases, I apologize. And in no way did I imply that you called my wife a whore nor even thought such a thing. How can you put quotes around something that I never wrote? Hmm, or am I detecting a pattern here..?

My 'thickness' continues in that I don't get why you are explaining to us how people everywhere "pick the best choice among those offered to them". Umm, yeah, okay and the sun rises in the morning, not in the evening..

Actually we likely agree on more issues than otherwise. There is, of course, cultural corruption happening everywhere what with the popularity of international travel and tourism and Thailand is certainly not immune nor the only country dealing with this. Yes, fat-walleted (and belly'd) aging farangs come over here and upset the balance a bit just as you would upset the balance a bit if you came over here and took a Thai husband, for whatever reasons you were able to do that. And many of those disgusting fat-walleted (and belly'd) farangs have stories about fat crab-ass wives that they are happy to be away from and are delighted to be in the company of a young Thai prostitute.

Umm, yeah, okay and the sun rises in the morning, not in the evening and that is likely to continue as long as we are able to witness it but what does that have to do with how we choose to live our own lives and govern our own attitudes? There are other things that I am more upset about (Bush, Poodle Blair, the extremist regime in Israel, people who blow themselves up along with hundreds of innocent people, children dying by the millions for the simple lack of clean drinking water, et al.) but I try not to focus too much on those things or the great joy I experience in my life will take a downturn and that is not the direction I choose to take any longer.

And yet, here I am, participating in this ridiculous thread and banging heads with two farang women, when in truth I believe that it is the women and children of this world who are the most likely to pull us out of the nightmares we create for ourselves with our judgments and lack of respect for our own kind.

Dunno, but perhaps I am more worried about you and your seeming anger toward the world than I portray on here and I am more than willing to take back whatever unkind things I have said about/to you and wish you the very best.

Yes, really...

Edited August 23, 2007 by Dustoff

[Dustoff]

By the way, I'm a newbie so just so you all know where I'm coming from (and by way of introduction), I'm 50 and my wife's 31.

AARRGGHH !!

That's my baby sister!!

[true blue]

Dustoff - good for her. Wish we heard more stories like this.

Why don't you get her to write her comments in this thread ?

Perhaps because I am a bit protective?

Not only is she very involved lately with her Chinese language studies but with her Taiwan Buddhist Temple stuff, I think that she would only have to read a few of these posts to become a bit saddened and begin to wonder why I read them myself.

I'm sorry but at the moment I cannot remember if you are in CM but if so, are you going to TP's party (the sequel to the ThaiVisa shindig) at their restaurant this Thurs evening? (like, tomoro in a few hours)

If so, you will likely meet her. She and TP's wife will probably be running around and giggling together so she will be easy to spot. I will be the grey-haired, bearded-nitwit free-jumping off the roof. Or, since she is now an experienced skydiver (okay, only one freefall), she may be taking the leap with me..

If you don't know about this party, PM me and I am sure that TP will allow me to invite you;

just don't be touching the babe in the parachute, okay?

I, however, am open to advances...

be interested in party were in hang dong tp resturant

[Cujobytes]

By the way, I'm a newbie so just so you all know where I'm coming from (and by way of introduction), I'm 50 and my wife's 31.

AARRGGHH !!

That's my baby sister!!

You're Chinese then? Your english is pretty good.

[Dudley23]

This thread has been great to read, but I think it misses one defining point.

Hmmm will a western women ever talk to me again.

Thai women look after there men 100 times better than a western women would.

Now most western women may be up in arms over this, but it is a 100% fact. There obvioulsy are a few Thai women who do wrong no different to western women.

In general however Thai girls are miles on front of western women probably slightly over board, but I would feel most guys would agree on this

[kingwilly]

Replying to Are Farangs Who Marriages Failed Lucky?

so wot abt farangs whose engagements fail? are we even luckier??

[duratanium]

This topic is brilliant.

Seem to have turned into.....

Bra Burning Terrorists V Macho Man

This topic has turned into a guilty pleasure of sorts, I must confess. Ah, I haven't argued like this since university!

Burning bras?! Do you know how hard it is for a girl to find the perfect-fitting bra?

It has been a while since I was asked to dress up in Bra and knickers so finding one that fits a girl or fits me is beyond the scope of my imagination

I do have a wonderful picture of some Bra Burning Terrorist in my head though. Shame I am no artist.

[duratanium]

This thread has been great to read, but I think it misses one defining point.

Hmmm will a western women ever talk to me again.

Thai women look after there men 100 times better than a western women would.

Now most western women may be up in arms over this, but it is a 100% fact. There obvioulsy are a few Thai women who do wrong no different to western women.

In general however Thai girls are miles on front of western women probably slightly over board, but I would feel most guys would agree on this

Thai women - that I have known - cook, clean, iron, bring a cold beer, take you to the shower and scrub your feet and generally care about their man. If a Thai woman profits from doing so, so what? It is good to have a woman who care and yes they are miles ahead of your average bra-burning western woe of man

[SiamSquare123]

you people are a joke.

is that there that big of a difference between an 18 year old village girl and a 25 year old?

so what if her parents introduced them. parents play a very important role in marriages in thailand. wait, let me say that again, THIS IS THAILAND. Please take your ageist ideology back to your home country.

you do realize that arranged marriages are still common in this part of the world right? this girl is much better off with a wealthy experienced farang who can give her both what she needs physically and financially. why do some of you insist that a 60 year old man cannot satisfy a 18 year old women? you have no logical basis to make such a statement, you are just trying to be ageist against the older gentlemen.

there are tons of 55 years old that i know personally who have married girls from all over the poverty regions of thailand and they are all VERY happy.

So please take your morality back to where you came from.

[kat]

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

You seem to forget that I've been on this forum for awhile now, and have run into your self-victimization/bigotry tactics before. It is also readily available in your post history. If you are so concerned about the oppression of Thai women, why are you the biggest apologist for norms and customs which assure that single women with children have no other chances in this society other than to live outside the margins, or to find a safe, harmless, albeit slightly delusional farang with a pension? I mean, who can <deleted>' blame her - if I had the same dismal chances in life I'd probably do the same thing.

Observation and acknowledgment of a social pattern and norm is not the same as bigotry, but I can understand your need to deflect and make it so. As long as you can turn this around, and make it so that everyone else is disrespectful and bigoted, you never have to confront how your own kindhearted, indulgent, benevolence is really about your own interests, and your own comfort. I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off. You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worst cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

*edited for typo

WOW, What a post.

The problem with your post is - that you are absolutely right.

It may be harshly formulated, but there is a lot of truth in your post. I am inspired by the views you expressed here, and it does make me examine me and my relationship as well.

Very well done!

Hey CP:

Thanks! I always read your posts, and have learned a lot from your extensive knowledge of Thai culture and happenings. I feel confident that with your clear-eyed honesty and intelligence, I'd never have a problem with you. I had a few farang male friends like you in LOS, and we got along famously. Next time I'm in LOS I will drop you a line.

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

could you a 28 year-old or a 38 year-old or a 48-year old?

I'm 40 and my wife is 35. Probably could have fallen in love with someone 10 to 15 years younger. Never dated someone that much younger and assume their would be issues, but it could've happened. As for someone 10 years my senior, probably not.

I appreciate your honesty.

[WaiWai]

One thing I wonder about is whether the guys married to the young girls ever have dinner with the young girls parents who might be of the same age. Any stories.

Or grandparents. Sometimes the Thai husband, too .

Seriously, it'd be very interesting to hear about this.

[ColPyat]

Hey CP:

Thanks! I always read your posts, and have learned a lot from your extensive knowledge of Thai culture and happenings. I feel confident that with your clear-eyed honesty and intelligence, I'd never have a problem with you. I had a few farang male friends like you in LOS, and we got along famously. Next time I'm in LOS I will drop you a line.

Thanks as well, i needed some ego padding right now.

And, please - do drop me a line when you come here next.

[kat]

Don't worry, CP, you don't need anything because no one can take you down. BTW, do you guys see some of the adverts that appear on the top of this thread? "Women seeking Older Men" - frickin' hilarious

[JetsetBkk]

the adverts that appear on the top of this thread? "Women seeking Older Men" - frickin' hilarious

George knows what he's doing.

[meom]

This thread has been great to read, but I think it misses one defining point.

Hmmm will a western women ever talk to me again.

Thai women look after there men 100 times better than a western women would.

Now most western women may be up in arms over this, but it is a 100% fact. There obvioulsy are a few Thai women who do wrong no different to western women.

In general however Thai girls are miles on front of western women probably slightly over board, but I would feel most guys would agree on this

Things must've changed then. It's been a while since I dated western women but I don't see a lot of difference with Thai women. Once you get to know them they're the same like any other woman with their good and bad days. When it comes to sex I always found western women a bit more liberated.

[ColPyat]

Don't worry, CP, you don't need anything because no one can take you down. BTW, do you guys see some of the adverts that appear on the top of this thread? "Women seeking Older Men" - frickin' hilarious

Life is doing right now a great job of taking me apart.

...and here i am also not exactly Mr. Popular either with the ones who can push the button here...

But, yes, there is a certain irony with the adverts here.

[mikethevigoman]

oh yes, I'm sure you are very oppressed, your Thai wife is a very beautiful, educated genius, who is only outmatched by your own superior and genetically endowed intellect the way nature intended (from your mama no less), who happened to meet a foreign man 30 years her senior, in a city teeming with foreign/Thai relationships with 30-40 year age gaps, and fell in love with him in a matter of seconds at first sight in the restaurant where she worked as a waitress. That is your story isn't it?

You seem to forget that I've been on this forum for awhile now, and have run into your self-victimization/bigotry tactics before. It is also readily available in your post history. If you are so concerned about the oppression of Thai women, why are you the biggest apologist for norms and customs which assure that single women with children have no other chances in this society other than to live outside the margins, or to find a safe, harmless, albeit slightly delusional farang with a pension? I mean, who can <deleted>' blame her - if I had the same dismal chances in life I'd probably do the same thing.

Observation and acknowledgment of a social pattern and norm is not the same as bigotry, but I can understand your need to deflect and make it so. As long as you can turn this around, and make it so that everyone else is disrespectful and bigoted, you never have to confront how your own kindhearted, indulgent, benevolence is really about your own interests, and your own comfort. I hope when your wife leaves on her extended "religious excursions" she finds some comfort of her own.

I almost actually started to feel sorry for you, and was going to leave you alone with your delusions, until you pissed me off. You are such the big defender of the "gentle, magical Thai people", and then promote threads about nudist excursions to Thai beaches. You have no qualms about screeching bigotry and discrimination, but will turn around and promote activities that are deeply offensive to Thai culture, as long as your self interests are satisfied. You are beyond even the worst cliches, and I don't want to waste any more time responding to you.

*edited for typo

WOW, What a post.

The problem with your post is - that you are absolutely right.

It may be harshly formulated, but there is a lot of truth in your post. I am inspired by the views you expressed here, and it does make me examine me and my relationship as well.

Very well done!

Hey CP:

Thanks! I always read your posts, and have learned a lot from your extensive knowledge of Thai culture and happenings. I feel confident that with your clear-eyed honesty and intelligence, I'd never have a problem with you. I had a few farang male friends like you in LOS, and we got along famously. Next time I'm in LOS I will drop you a line.

As for your Issan wife (as you call her) being smarter than me -- who knows? If your idea of intelligence is choosing you as a husband, clearly we're unlikely to agree.

Ouch!

I've refrained from joining in on this post out of fear. Not sure I can match wits with yourself, Kat, Bendix, and others. I haven't got the sense that the ladies are bitter like some posters feel. Quite a few generalizations, but the womens' posts ring true.

Age disparities don't determine happiness, but a 58 year man marrying an 18 year old Thai is a little sick. I admit, I find 18 year olds attractive, but couldn't imagine falling in love, or for that matter, her loving me.

could you a 28 year-old or a 38 year-old or a 48-year old?

I'm 40 and my wife is 35. Probably could have fallen in love with someone 10 to 15 years younger. Never dated someone that much younger and assume their would be issues, but it could've happened. As for someone 10 years my senior, probably not.

I appreciate your honesty.

As tina turner sang, "WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT "

[qwertz]

Interestingly, of all the countries in the world, only America has the right of individual pursuit of happiness written into its constitution.

If what appears to be a total mismatch to you is at the same time legal and making two people relatively happy, leave 'em be; don't be so prissy all you bashers.

Incorrect. There is no right to "pursuit of happiness" written in the US Constitution. You're mixing it up with the Declaration of Independence. It's a common mistake that's worth clarifying, lest you embarass yourself again.

Me embarrassed?

Perish the thought.

I sometimes toss in a bit of controversy (in case you hadn't noticed) just to smoke out prissy people.

BTW, what's with all this cut and paste?

It's like reading last weeks Daily Star.

IMO, if you lot put in half as much time making a marriage work as you do discussing how to, there might be lot more marital harmony.

Edited August 23, 2007 by qwertz

[mikethevigoman]

I would be really careful about using the "w" word. I don't even use it to describe commercial sex workers or marital prostitutes. It is too perjorative.

She is beginning to sound spiteful isnt she ?, i think maybe a thai "w" stole her husband !

Husband? I thought all us feminists were supposed to be lesbians.

Can I watch?

Dear Chinthee,

I'm so flabbergasted that a farang man has expressed sexual interest in a farang woman in the middle of TV, I can't think of anything witty to say.

Canadiangirl, you are a cool chick, and I wish you the best. Please PM me when you come to BKK and I'd be glad to go to morlam clubs with you and anybody else. I'd also be willing to bet that most of these mean-spirited old and getting old men on this forum would be really nice and genuine guys if you met them in person. This internet anonymity is quite deceiving.

Here here,.

[ColPyat]

I sometimes toss in a bit of controversy (in case you hadn't noticed) just to smoke out prissy people.

Silly me, and i thought you were just plain gross.

Didn't know that you had a mission and deeply inside agree with my views.

[true blue]

you people are a joke.

is that there that big of a difference between an 18 year old village girl and a 25 year old?

so what if her parents introduced them. parents play a very important role in marriages in thailand. wait, let me say that again, THIS IS THAILAND. Please take your ageist ideology back to your home country.

you do realize that arranged marriages are still common in this part of the world right? this girl is much better off with a wealthy experienced farang who can give her both what she needs physically and financially. why do some of you insist that a 60 year old man cannot satisfy a 18 year old women? you have no logical basis to make such a statement, you are just trying to be ageist against the older gentlemen.

there are tons of 55 years old that i know personally who have married girls from all over the poverty regions of thailand and they are all VERY happy.

So please take your morality back to where you came from.

first guy ive read on this topic who talks a bit of sense