12 minutes ago, Caldera said:

For me personally, it would be a bad thing. I couldn't stand having someone around all day long, I need some quiet time for myself.

Having around all the time, isn't a problem, but I need my freedom, to do what & when I want. That takes an unemployed & childless partner. Not easy to find after a certain age, or one wanting to be childless, after a certain age. After divorced (#2) and self employed, I didn't want either, so really enjoyed the single life again (15 yrs), till coming to TH.

Then did the complete opposite, took in a wee one, but big difference, had plenty of time & money, so easy & stress free. Met present wife, after a few years of playing single parent, and she fit right it, though had to stop working, which she didn't mind at all.

On 3/9/2026 at 9:23 PM, FriscoKid said:

I have been thinking about this because I know a few guys whose situations all look a bit similar. When they first got married their wives were working and life seemed pretty good. Two incomes and a future that appeared reasonably comfortable. But over the years things changed a bit. The wives lost their jobs for one reason or another and never really went back to work. Became housewives, for lack of a better word. Now the household income has simply become a single income, and in all the cases I've seen the husband is not exactly rolling in money.

None of these guys are broke, but they are definitely not in the position they expected to be in either. Now they are the sole earners, taking on the entire financial load of two people with a future where retirement might come much later than they once expected. On top of that, the marriages themselves do not exactly look full of energy or connection anymore. They have been together for quite a long time. There are no kids involved, and from the outside it rather looks like the relationship has slowly shifted into something more like convenience and familiarity rather than a strong and caring partnership.

So it raises a serious question. If a guy ends up in a situation where he is doing all the earning, the marriage has lost much of its spark, and there are no children holding the situation together, what is the practical reason for the man to stay in that situation? I wonder if they would actually be better off their own, both financially and personally.

Everyone is different and people have their own reasons for the choices they make, but when you see the same pattern repeating itself a few times, you start to wonder why nobody ever seems willing to question whether the situation they are in still makes sense.

I presume you talk about the West. In Thailand a woman's mind is more like: "If a man cannot provide, why do I need him?" And yes, Ido hear Thai ladies say that. So, it also was in old time in the West – and in some cases it still is. It seems like a Western man's saying today should be: "If a woman cannot help financially to provide to the household, and our children has grown up, why do I need her?"

A number of men moves to Thailand – some after divorcing a Western spouse, who might even have got half of the estate before she left – and find a local lady, get her to stop working and move in, and then provides for her.

In both cases, isn't it a question of care and shared compagnenship? Isn't a marriage based on more than two incomes to provide for a family? Shouldn't it rather taking care of each other? And when a man ends up in Thailand – often with a bit young, or very younger, spouse or girlfriend – isn't that based on mutually care, which could be an agreement like: I take care of you financially now, and when I get old, then you takes care of me.

In the old-time way of thinking a marriage was a kind of mutual protection – the man as provider, the wife as caretaker of children, when small, and home – which could be viewed as a financial agreement. In my home country they talked about "marriage of convenience" – and if a man is a good provider, then love follows – seems like it still is like that in Thailand.

In a way I also understand well, why more nad more prople wish to be singles – it works fine in Western countries where there is a poublich health care and ditto for old people – but when a Western man (or woman) is migrating to Thailand, where you are on your own, you mighht however need a live-in younger partner to take care of you; even if you have to pay for it. Some can however manage it with a housekeeper, and keep their freedom – which might even be cheaper than having a spouse...

47 minutes ago, Caldera said:

For me personally, it would be a bad thing. I couldn't stand having someone around all day long, I need some quiet time for myself.

So why do YOU not pi55 off somewhere/

I'd think that she needs/wants some time off from YOU.

8 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

This issue was raised by another member in the past.

Yes, I do take care of all my children.

Raising children here in Thailand is inexpensive.

Early childhood, infants, you have nappies to purchase and formula if the mother is not breastfeeding, vaccinations etc it's all very economical.

Schooling becomes expensive, if you want international or English (bilingual) schooling

Schooling not that expensive,

My kids in a government school Chinese and English class, around 8k/term X2 a year.

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Schooling not that expensive,

My kids in a government school Chinese and English class, around 8k/term X2 a year.

Cheap, as that's about half the price our daughter schooling (Catholic schools), and almost 10 yrs ago, and Chinese wasn't even offered. Uni was about 30k a semester (X2 all in) living off campus.

That was the only expensive part, she spent about 30-35k, monthly living expenses, again, all in. Condo rent being a 3rd of that, and transport, another part of that. Even though we gave her the car (no real parking and 2 major Uturns), and Uni proved shuttle service from certain area, she had to get to. Last condo provided shuttle to Uni shuttle, but anything after hrs and she was on her own.

3 hours ago, KhunLA said:

I tend to only associate with 'normal educated & functioning' people. Sadly, I'm aware of way too many that are not. I know people won't, let alone even could, connect two pieces of PVC pipe. Or folks that would call a plumber to unclog a drain, or hang a curtain.

With YT, the wife won't let anyone do anything, with the exception of AC deep cleaning.

Only 2 gals, the live ins, were a bit helpless, great sex though.

There is a difference between being able to do it and just not even having tried, or it not being worth the time as time is money. It depends on finances too. Anyway yeah, the majority in TH can't even mirror driving a bike let alone something requiring more skill.

1 minute ago, BuffaloRider said:

There is a difference between being able to do it and just not even having tried, or it not being worth the time as time is money. It depends on finances too.

Wife, like myself in the past, prefer to do it ourselves, as usually do a much better job, than subbing out. Especially in TH, though TBH, USA wasn't much better finding craftsman at a decentprice that do a decent job.

Of course, if it's not your thing, or don't have the tools, neither inexpensive, nor space saving. Walk into my 1st house (USA), and the very large foyer, had a radial arm saw in it, with a 2 tap wood bar on the other side of the room

I even routed my own floor & ceiling molding. Made an awesome wood cap for my F150, that got compliments and good money offers if I'd make them one. Broke down from full cover cap to stake body railings, all routed nicely. Definitely my best results of any project.

Having tools makes a difference when DIY or subbing out. Need the time also, those in the corporate world never seem to have time.

Wife is refinishing all the wood surfaces in the house now 🙄 She'll be taking a break soon, as I'm jonesing for an O&A.

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Schooling not that expensive,

My kids in a government school Chinese and English class, around 8k/term X2 a year.

Yes, the government schools and bilingual schools are inexpensive.

This is all a bit difficult for a Farang to understand.
Financially speaking, my wife doesn't have to work at all. But she feels useless unless she has a job, self-employed work of course.
She opened a soup kitchen on our property and she really enjoys this work. She is happy about every customer who keeps coming back and of course about every new customer.
She doesn't make any financial gain from her work, but she is happy. And that is important!

It costs me some money, but it's better this way, than having a constantly unhappy wife in the house.

On 3/10/2026 at 1:20 AM, Hummin said:

That was dry,

Bet she getting dry at 55 lol

16 minutes ago, dirtybirty said:

Bet she getting dry at 55 lol

It was a two sided joke,

Dry joke

Woman getting older as you say, but somehow a couple didn't get it,

My new 58-year-old partner has a small business. She does fairly well at it and I will invest a small sum to help her grow it a bit.

We cannot predict our future together, but at her age, her chances to make a change in her livelihood are sharply diminishing. Shoring her up and improving her financial independence is a no-brainer.

Her long-term goal is to bring on board a family member to do a lot of the grunt work to allow her more leisure time.

That would definitely suit me. We started talking about a future together and then decided to table the discussion for a full year while we get to know each other better.

To the people here who have had a spouse who has not worked for a long time, how do you re-introduce the topic?

23 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Yes, the government schools and bilingual schools are inexpensive.

I pay Bht 1000 twice a year for my 6 year old at local school, Bht 450 for insurance.

They do tend to have random teacher's meetings, hence days off for the kids.