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Has The World Gone Completely Mad

Featured Replies

Man who had sex with bike in court

By Richard Alleyne

Last Updated: 1:21pm BST 26/10/2007

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

ubike.jpgAn object of lust?Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

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"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

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He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

print.gif email.gif

:o

I wonder if he had difficulty wondering what crack to go for :D

Moss

Not that I encourage having sex with bicycles but it's hardly like the bike will be emotionally damaged or anything.....

Well... er ..hmm..

I think that if the guy was doing it in the privacy of his own room then why the heck is it a problem? The manager should have had more sense and let it be. Its not like hes assaulted someone. Actually i think its pretty appalling that the man could go on the sex offenders register. Just seems to make a mockery of the register, not to mention that the man is then restricted from working in various professions.

This HAS to be a wind up..right? :o

Was the bike chained up? That would be a bit kinky IMO. f it was kid's bike he should hang IMO.

Man who had sex with bike in court

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

:o:D HOW to perform sex with pavements ?

I'm puzzled...

LaoPo

I suppose the next legal challenge will be whether or not a bike can withhold consent.

Man who had sex with bike in court

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

:o:D HOW to perform sex with pavements ?

I'm puzzled...

LaoPo

You never heard of a manhole?

Man who had sex with bike in court

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

:D:D HOW to perform sex with pavements ?

I'm puzzled...

LaoPo

You never heard of a manhole?

:o:D :D

LaoPo

sex with a bike?

well, I say. That takes it up a gear.

Who was in the saddle?

Hey, that bike has a nice Rack!

Oi! Bike, Show us yer Brakes.

They should chain him up for life.

Coat being retrieved now.

sex with a bike?

its called pedalasty

So, assuming our unfortunate pendalaster is "normal", do you think he fantasizes about having one of these for the evening:

post-25601-1193413496_thumb.jpg

Google search on pedalasty gives this gem in the first few results;

"Pedalasty? God, that's an allegation you wouldn't want to be saddled with....."

I had sex with the local "bike" when i was fourteen.

She was a different type of bike though......i hope :o

My dad had kittens when i was about fifteen because he found out my best friend was known as a bit of a "bike". Furious about my choice of friend in case I would get "tarnished with the same brush" by association.

I did sometimes feel a bit embarrassed for her though...her nickname was 'Flora', as in margarine. ..because ...it 'spreads'. :o

Not that I encourage having sex with bicycles but it's hardly like the bike will be emotionally damaged or anything.....

The bike is now receiving counselling!

Does owning a unicycle mean your a wanke_r ?????

He probably didn't have much trouble getting a bar.

(I got more)

No, you've done enough. :o

I would like to see two bikes getting it on :o

I would like to see two bikes getting it on :D

I hear they like it in groups :o

Bike-pile.jpg

I have a photo of a bike with some linkages and a dildo that pokes up through the seat, it moves up and down as the person pedals.

I wonder if it is a new bike or and old bike would make any difference? can a bike be underage?

can a bike be under age?

Yes , depends on the age of the person sitting on it.

onzestan

can a bike be under age?

post-3636-1193481336_thumb.jpg

It took me a few seconds :D:o

can a bike be under age?

post-3636-1193481336_thumb.jpg

It took me a few seconds :D:D

Well, it is taking me a few minutes. :o

Moss

My dad had kittens when i was about fifteen because he found out my best friend was known as a bit of a "bike". Furious about my choice of friend in case I would get "tarnished with the same brush" by association.

Thought better of it my post, which is unusual.

Moss

I think that if the guy was doing it in the privacy of his own room then why the heck is it a problem? The manager should have had more sense and let it be. Its not like hes assaulted someone. Actually i think its pretty appalling that the man could go on the sex offenders register. Just seems to make a mockery of the register, not to mention that the man is then restricted from working in various professions.

I TOTALLY agree. I wonder what the statute of limitations is on this sort of thing?

Someone might be looking for me for raping my pillow as a youngster a number of times! :o

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