Saddlebags! Sorry this is just too disgusting!

Great though isn't it!

Practice makes perfect Suegha, we'll have you swearing like an ex-pat barfly in no time.

To my shame I can swear with the best of them!

poojabber

tlsw

pissflaps

turd burgler

bum bandit

nut cream addict

sheep shagger

or the ultimate one "pommy bastard"

CB

an oldy, however, most desriptive

buggery or buggering as in "I saw grandpa buggering the goat"

tlsw

an oldy, however, most desriptive

buggery or buggering as in "I saw grandpa buggering the goat"

tlsw

adds a whole new interpretation to calling your grandmother "Nanny"

CB

tlsw butt breath

Shit for brains.

TLSW

fart face

tlsw

dickwad

tlsw

Night pilot of the chocolate runway !!

Cock jockey

TLSW

dickrash

codswallop

**** aussie aboriginal word to desribe a women - "have vulva"

tlsw

asscrackers

boil on the butt of humanity

Sorry, got to get in touch with dad for some of his more colorful ones... I can't remember how they all go

turd

tlsw

Night pilot of the chocolate runway !!

Dickiusmaximus!

barse - the area of skin twix yer b*lls and yer a*se

And all this time I thought that was called a scrotum.

After 20 years as a soldier and 20 years as a cop, I'm afraid I have used every expletive known to man (including Spanish and French and German and Russian cuss words). Now in retirement, I do try to keep my language as clean as possible. But I have had my moments...and my Thai friends wince when I get wound up. When John Kerry was running for President in the USA, I described him as a "limpdicked motherfuc_ker." Accurate but impolite in Thai society.

Gobshite!

tlsw

Often it doesn't take swear words to get across a precise thought. One of my favorites was the description of U.S. Army General William Westmoreland by an old Sergeant Major when we were all in Vietnam. The Sergeant Major said of Westmoreland "He looks like a general. He thinks like a private."

Later on, when Westmoreland was Chief of Staff, he ordered my division, the 1st Cavalry Division, to undergo a readiness test called "TRICAP," which eventually led to the destruction of the division as an airmobile unit and transformed it into a huge slow-moving armor division (which most old 1st Cav vets never forgave him for). That prompted one of our commanders to say of Westmoreland..."The wheel is spinning but the hampster's dead."

Following on from Farang Princes use of "the wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead"

The lights are on but nobody's home

A sandwich short of a picnic

Not the full quid

a few slices short of the full loaf

Taken inadequacy to never before experienced levels

Overcome by delusions of mediocrity

and getting back to the OP - shit for brains

tlsw numb nuts

CB

" Driving the pig skin train into Tuna Town "

Not the sharpest knife in the canteen of cutlery!

Thick as two short planks.

Divvy!

tlsw

As useless as tits on a boar pig

As useful as a tophat full of a*rseh^oles.

Seeking that Ozzydom is reading this topic reminded me to mention that in Australia we have several nicknames involving the folks from Tasmania.

The shape of a woman's pubic region has a remarkable resemblance to the shape of the state of Tasmania hence in Oz bloke parlance a way to smooth talk a woman is "hey show us ya map of Tassie"

Other nicks for Tasmanians are:

Taswegians

Kiwis with water wings

Kiwis who can swim

and when all else fails we simply give a nod of the head in the person's direction and say "well he is from Tasmania so what do you expect?"

Ok just donning my kevlar overcoat - not that it is needed because a Tasmanian thinks a sharp retort is a golf swing

CB

As useless as tits on a boar pig

As useful as tits on a bull

As useful as a hip pocket on a pair of underpants

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

CB

Thick as two short planks.

Divvy!

tlsw

He's one of triplets, there's him and two short planks!

he following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand.

Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole.

Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet.

Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artifact.

Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine.

Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle.

Mateshit: all your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor

Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity.

Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans

Bushwanke_r: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.

Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants.

And for the Kiwi's amongst us:

Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep

I don't think you have to be Austrailian to get these mate!