My Ex (or Not)

[OxfordWill]

Very enjoyable thread Steven - particularly liked the FAQs. Remarkable how many people did not realise the tense in which you were writing.

[D+D]

The best thread since slice bread

[boonkan]

Unfourtunatly this is THE TRUTH!

I lived here for 3 years, and I've seen it to often!

BUT....

Realize and ask yourself IF you are in their situation? What would you do?

Ihave seen 65-70 years "boys" who walk hand in hand with their "boyfriends". I call them "customer"!

Its not common that a young guy, about 18-25 are in LOVE with an old man.

Many Thaiguys have been going to Sweden, thats my homecountry, and they are there for about 3 years, then they dont need the farang anymore, they can stay forever if they want to.

So the most relations, NOT everyone, last 3 years!

And this is NOT only THAI who do!!!

recently I have a friend who is 63 years old, 20 years older then me. And he took his Boyfriend who is 19!!! years to Sweden.

And he really think he loves him.

He buy him all kind of presents, gold, and so on.

Ofcourse the thaiboy "love" him for some years, and then he can meet a boy in his own age!

The most thaiboys, and other thais, talk very open about the feelings and what presents they had from their "boyfriends"!

And many times, they also confess to eachother that they only do it for MONEY!!

If you learn Thai, dont tell someone you just meet, just listen, and you will now what kind of guy he is!!

Ihad to learn Thai, to understand the problem.

Im sorry to write it, but it is the TRUTH!

[Ijustwannateach]

^Somehow I think you've missed a lot of the point of this thread....

[Chaz1819]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The best way to keep ex-bar scene boys and girls out of returning to it is to provide them with an alternative.

If the reasons for leaving the village is to earn a living and support the family by going to the bar jobs, a simple rpomise to not return and moral support only will not do the trick.

I think you must be 'fair' and find ways to help him support himself and his family in more ways than moral.

It took me the best part of 3 years to slowly but surely build a new taste for a 'normal' job with some school training and a start-up fund.

The result is great. back into the village community earning a smal but decent living providing needed servoces to the village community.

Good luck

Great advice Jack - Keep up the great work and the good work - good luck in all you do

[Chaz1819]

While I'm here, though, I'd just like to thank the many readers who, though they don't feel moved to post and say so, have made this thread one of the most popular ones in the gay forum and probably among some of the most-read threads in the entire forum. It puzzles me why certain readers feel bound to post here for the sole purpose of describing how boring they find the thread (in some cases, without having posted anything else on the forum for months and months). Of course, one hopes that if the thread is so boring and they are so talented, they would start their own threads to show us just how exciting they are, but that never seems to happen, for some unimaginable reason....

"Steven"

Steven

You write great stuff - I wish had been here from the begining of the sage :-) - I keep bouncing around reading your story out of order - your honesty and ability to write is great! Thanks!

[Ijustwannateach]

Belated thanks to OxfordWill, D&D, and Chaz. I try to do my best.

O. never let up in his interest in me. Even when we had been apart for months, he continued to call and ask if I was free. Each time I teased him about his new boyfriend, but told me his guy was open-minded and knew what he was up to- though I seriously doubt this.

Occasionally I would meet him- he is still one of my best friends and lives near me, after all- and we would go to a movie or dinner, or even a concert. Yes, sometimes we'd wind up spending the night together- it was less intense but more friendly. It's better without the drama, somehow- but O. is still intensely jealous of anyone I meet, and teases me about them.

Recently we ran into each other by accident at the Thai Cultural Center, at a musical performance. He is open-minded and curious, which are really two of the main factors in intelligence- he really does have a lot of potential. He still has his wild side, but it is no big surprise to see him and his German friend as a musical pair together. I thought it was a little bit rude of him to spend most of the intermission with me and my friends, though- he explained that his friend is having foot trouble, so he preferred to remain in his seat.

I had asked him once about his new partner's business.

"So, how much does your guy really make?"

"Oh, not so much. He's quite poor, like you." [O. has picked up this new word, "quite," which he uses "quite" often].

"You're kidding. How many hundreds of thousands of baht does he make in a month?"

"Oh, about XXX,XXX a month. But he's married and has a family. They know about him and his wife did not ask for a divorce. So he has to pay them a lot of money."

"Yes, a lot of men in his generation are like that. I don't know if they are lucky or not."

Oh has picked up "quite" a few new toys recently- a bed, a new (super) computer, other new furniture- and, naturally, an Ipod. I could be jealous of the banker's money [leaving open the question of whether I was jealous of his life], but I'd prefer to be amazed at O.'s atmospheric rise from life in a hut without electricity or running water to dating a wealthy European international banker. And even more amazingly, he's not the only one I know who has done almost the same thing.

I suppose my own fortunes have taken a remarkable rise during my time within the Kingdom, to be fair. I started by teaching at a very poor school outside Bangkok, and now work at a very high-level school, both economically and academically. In a single evening recently I attended a chamber concert sitting a few rows behind one of the most pre-eminent persons in the land, followed by a jazz concert attended by a number of very respectable types, followed by visiting a nice young fellow from the country living in a room the size of my bathroom, above a tiny suburban klong.

No wonder I read Proust.

"Steven"

[boybrat]

honey, 9 out of 10 of my exes white or otherwise, somehow happen to own at least a platinum amex. it just so happens that i tend to snare all of them rich guys. u get them when u dont want them! rich guys are a LOT of work, i tell u that!

btw, i just found out that a night in our suites in zazen and santiburi in samui cost a bucketload of money...and somehow that makes me feel a bit discomforted. who exactly is my date trying to impress? i get scared off my guys who try too hard to impress. gawd, i like being scruffy, dammit!!!

i still remember my london ex who ran out and bought me a prada suit and shoes to go AND silver cufflinks AND a belt when he found out that i dont have a suit to wear to a gala he was attending! and honest to god. i felt very uncomfortable.when we went shopping at harrods one day, he whispered to me that he would get anything i wanted...and was genuinely surprised when i only bought jar or jam, with my own money! money cant buy me, thats why we split up.

i ran away from thechance to live in a glamourous chelsea apartment, from a perceived gilded life. i could have been the arm candy of a young up and coming londoner , not working and doing ######all. but im not like that. i now live in a little rented flat in asia, saving just enough for a downpayment for my own little flat. and though im not poor, there's barely enough for luxuries. but u know what, im happy.

somehow, many boys need to realise that material's not everything. *indignant nod*.

but then perhaps im just a young rather bitter twenty-something asian guy.sigh.

btw, ijwt:o's german friend told him how much he earns?? GAWD that is so tacky. im glad u dont do that. xoxoxo

Edited October 4, 2006 by boybrat

[TopChinese]

When did it all become a contest involving cash, credit limits and cocksizes?

Guess we all wake up from this drunken stupor of cockchasin sometime to realise that these things don't matter at the end of the day when you wake up with him in your arms.

Oh and a nice butt is nice. Don't you agree, Trouble?

[Trouble]

The original post was about where things were going with O because of concerns about his past/present activities, etc.

TC: To get serious here for a moment, you are right about what's important at the end of the day. I personally am more about quality than quantity. Doesn't much matter about one's past, we all have one. How he got in your arms or how it all started is really not so relevant as long as each person has accepted the other for who and what they are, and both truely enjoy the time together. That only comes with the investment of time. No one is ever going to have a decent relationship without investing time. I have found that in my experience with Thais, once they trust you they will tell you sometimes more than you want or should know. In Thailand many of the guys (especially "professional" boys) have had more happen to them in 5 years as far as sex and relationships than I've had in 20 years, but then there was very little quality in that. Isn't trust and honesty between two people what it is all about in the end. There is nothing more important and flattering to me than winning over the trust of someone who is prone not to be trusting because of bad experiences. Quite an accomplishment in my book. When I am six feet under I hope that those I have come in contact with and shared special times with will just stop a minute and think of me as an honest, caring person. I hope to have made a little impact in their lives as they have made in mine. I want no more than that.

Now completely off topic but in response to BB ( I can't resist and I am too lazy to start a new thread and since there is not much going on here right now anyway I don't feel too guilty):

People that must have Platinum cards, throw Prada at people, buy expensive gifts are, in my opinion, quite often dealing with inferiority complexes or other issues. Whipping out the platinum card for all to see is just being showy, after all a credit card is just a credit card. They are trying to be something they are probably not. Sure they may have good jobs, spendable income, etc. but they have this need to let everyone else know it too. AND like you said they are a LOT of work. People who have real money do not need to show it or throw it at people. You never know when you see that guy in the faded jeans and tee shirt on the street, that he might have more money than all your ex's put together. He may not feel the need to show it. Of course the other side of the coin is the cheap charlie who will go out to dinner have three glasses of wine and the expensive dinner while others have had one glass and a moderately priced dinner and expect to split the check . So there you have two extremes neither of which I can't stand to be around. Is it any wonder Thai people often get the wrong impression of farangs?

Finally, TC there is nothing better than having your front side pressed against a nice bubble butt when you go to sleep at night and having your arms wrapped tightly around his body. If only one could sleep that way all night. Nothing more frustrating than waking up with your arm asleep and trying to get it out from under him without waking him up.

Okay everyone, I have one week to go and I am out of here for Hawaii and then BKK and Phuket for Nation VI. So if you see me around say hello.

Bob