Was, better now, no booze for more than 2 years, or very little.

Pretty much 90% fruit and veg diet as well.

Was, better now, no booze for more than 2 years, or very little.

Pretty much 90% fruit and veg diet as well.

If you grow whiskers and start to hop, watch out for the Welsh woman in charge !!!!

Well, it is a big place.

IM suprised They could find it 1/3 of the Countrys under water, seems strange me thinks

Now it's 190 cms around the waist?

The added height was in the crazy footwear the young folk wore in those days - they all gained three or four inches.

Of course, these days, those extra 3 or 4 inches would be useful elsewhere...

no, get complaints now.

no, get complaints now.

Skite.

So many girls used to say.... "Omigod, I never see so big, you must give me extra money please".

PUT ON YA BEST THONGS, STUBBIES 'N' SINGLET,

CHUCK A SLAB IN THE ESKY,

FIRE UP THE BARBIE,

GRAB YA SHEILA, TICKLE 'ER TONSILS WITH YA KNOB,

JOBS RIGHT MATE!!!

'AV A RIPPER ORSTRALYA DAY YA MOB OF MONGRELS BASTARDS!!!!!!

I was going to wish my fellow countrypersons the compliments of our national day earlier this morning, but I thought why give other nationals the opportunity to add another couple of pages of bad jokes to this thread.

Day to be nice, partickly to Australians

¯`°º·¤.¸¯`°º·¤.¸¯`°º·¤.¸ ♥ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°

.¤·º° ♥´¨`° I'm proud to be A KIWI .. but °´♥ º·¤.

.¤·º° ♥´¨`° Happy Australia Day!!! °´¨`»♥ º·¤.

¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ¸.¤·º°´¯ ♥ ¯`°º·¤. ¸¯`°º·¤. ¸¯`°º·¤.

Cheers all of you from Australia, OC, Ping, Scuds and all

Happy Australia's Day to all the good Aussies on here! (and ND)

Happy Australia's Day to all the good Aussies on here! (and ND)

That flag looks neat.

First alterative flag I have seen, except for the native flags.

Good one, both OZ and NZ need new ensigns.

Just got back from a week in the Philippines.

Went for a late lunch in my usual sports bar in Saigon, found they'd been redecorating a bit (it needed it) and sat down to watch the tennis and cricket.

Some geezer taking photos - turned out there was a twenty-foot long picture of Bondi Beach behind me.

Then noticed there was a decorative sign blocking some of the telly screens. Asked the girls to move it, so I could watch England winning, the manager came over and told me to read the banner. Said something about Happy Australia Day. 'That don't matter - move it!'.

Ate me meal, went outside to get a taxi home, saw a notice offering free dogs/BBQ/beer. But I went home anyway.

Anyway - you've survived another year (just) so I'd better wish all the Ockers a good year to come.

So many girls used to say.... "Omigod, I never see so big, you must give me extra money please".

I think some of them just say that to ingratiate themselves with you - but it may also be something to do with Thai blokes supposedly having little 'uns. Some people say that there is a correlation between the size of a blokes hands/feet and his dingle. Have you ever noticed that most Thai blokes seem to have small hands?

So many girls used to say.... "Omigod, I never see so big, you must give me extra money please".

I think some of them just say that to ingratiate themselves with you - but it may also be something to do with Thai blokes supposedly having little 'uns. Some people say that there is a correlation between the size of a blokes hands/feet and his dingle. Have you ever noticed that most Thai blokes seem to have small hands?

Could be true - would account for why all us rugby playing fellas who can pick up the oval pill with one hand have it over the cricket and tennis guys with their smaller balls.

Your pills aren't all you rugger buggas like to have in your hand.

Some sporting results:

unfortunately Australia lost the soccer Asian Cup final to Japan. 1-0 in extra time.

But the Oz cricket team has wrapped up the best of seven ODI series with a comfortable win over the Pommy 5 day specialists. tally now 4-1

and the Brit, Murray, was just thrashed in the final of the Australian Tennis Open by some Serb fellow.

Some sporting results:

unfortunately Australia lost the soccer Asian Cup final to Japan. 1-0 in extra time.

But the Oz cricket team has wrapped up the best of seven ODI series with a comfortable win over the Pommy 5 day specialists. tally now 4-1

and the Brit, Murray, was just thrashed in the final of the Australian Tennis Open by some Serb fellow.

And the real ball games will be on later this year - first the NAB cup, then the AFL and NRL, with the Rugby World Cup taking place in your Far Eastern Provinces. Lets see how things go there.

^Yes, bad luck about the Asia Cup, and the ODI victory is really only a consolation prize.

(Ricky who?)

I have just watched the film Australia for the first time tonight. I enjoyed it - Hugh Jackman is rather dishy. I actually cried.

So many girls used to say.... "Omigod, I never see so big, you must give me extra money please".

I think some of them just say that to ingratiate themselves with you - but it may also be something to do with Thai blokes supposedly having little 'uns. Some people say that there is a correlation between the size of a blokes hands/feet and his dingle. Have you ever noticed that most Thai blokes seem to have small hands?

Could be true - would account for why all us rugby playing fellas who can pick up the oval pill with one hand have it over the cricket and tennis guys with their smaller balls.

Yeah, guess that is why OZ Rules balls are smaller than Rugby balls.

Same goes for Gridiron balls.

NOW WE KNOW. RUGBY for eva.

A large area of northern Australia is preparing for what could be one the of the biggest cyclones ever to hit the country.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20110201/twl-monster-storm-bears-down-on-australi-3fd0ae9.html

Bloody hell!

A large area of northern Australia is preparing for what could be one the of the biggest cyclones ever to hit the country.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20110201/twl-monster-storm-bears-down-on-australi-3fd0ae9.html

Bloody hell!

That is going to smart.

This is what the cyclone would look like if it was heading for Thailand.

This is going to hurt, good luck to those in it's path.

Incredible image there, Bags. Oddly, the pics in TV's new format often seem to have the boxes with the little red X in them, although they can be viewed by simply clicking on the box. Is it just me?

Incredible image there, Bags. Oddly, the pics in TV's new format often seem to have the boxes with the little red X in them, although they can be viewed by simply clicking on the box. Is it just me?

Nope.

Happens very often to me, I think it's lack of bandwidth.

With apologies if this has appeared elsewhere in Bedlam's fine corridors (too busy to get around TV too much at the moment)...

Source: Herald Sun, February 17, 2011 12:00AM

My First Vegemite easier to swallow

VEGEMITE has created a mess with its latest version of the black, salty spread.

But after 2009's iSnack 2.0 fiasco, and its name change to Cheesybite, My First Vegemite has proved easier to swallow.

And an 11-strong jury of pirates, fairies and caterpillars have endorsed the spread - eating it, toying with it, even wearing it.

The excited Armadale kids, aged 2-5, poked fingers - and spoons and colouring pencils - into jars. A couple of littlies turned into tiny tar monsters in the process.

"She's embraced it wholeheartedly, covered almost head to toe," two-year-old Matilda Richards' mum Laura said.

"She even requested a spoon to eat it out of the jar."

And the Kraft crew running the launch were even more excitable, describing it as a new arrival in the Vegemite family.

My First Vegemite is aimed at children aged 1-3, has extra B-vitamins and a toned-down flavour.

The selling point is the salt, though, or relative lack thereof - although Kraft staff don't use the word salt.

Old-time Vegemite has 173 milligrams of sodium in every teaspoon serve. The new one has 43 in its smaller half-teaspoon serve making it half as salty.

Kraft hopes the new product will lift overall Vegemite sales by 5 per cent as parents double up in the cupboard.

With Vegemite sales at 23 million jars a year, that's about a million more jars.

Cheesybite, despite its embarrassing beginnings, is now in a quarter of homes.

If you stretched those end to end it would go around the world three times.

[email protected]

Incredible image there, Bags. Oddly, the pics in TV's new format often seem to have the boxes with the little red X in them, although they can be viewed by simply clicking on the box. Is it just me?

Nope.

Happens very often to me, I think it's lack of bandwidth.

I get that too.

Only here TV, given up worrying.

^Perhaps one of the mods/admins could enlighten us and advise whether it can be fixed?

Anyone for up a bit of cane-toad humour ?