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The Laws An Ass Pt2

Featured Replies

Just to prove that the law IS an Ass...check this one out.

Sorry man's ass thrown in jail

From correspondents in Cairo

September 19, 2008 03:01am

Article from: Agence France-Pressehttp://www.news.com.au/story/

AN Egyptian donkey has been jailed for stealing corn on the cob from a field belonging to an agricultural research institute in the Nile Delta, local media reported today.

The ass and its owner were apprehended at a police checkpoint that had been set up after the institute's director complained that someone was stealing his crops, the state-owned Al-Ahram daily said.

The unnamed ungulate was found in possession of the institute's corn and a local judge sentenced him to 24 hours in prison.

The man who had his ass thrown in jail got off with a fine of 50 Egyptian pounds ($11.40).

He wont come out in one piece. Well known fact first thing lost in prison is the Ass-Hole

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister and one of his first lessons to me about Law was the story of the goat and the cabbages, there are five steps in arguing legal practice and then a final plea should all the first five steps fail, and it goes like this.

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

I would have proved that the donkey was clinically insane (as most donkey's in my experience are) and he would have walked free.

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :o

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :o

That'll be him, great bloke but hates being proved wrong, on anything, I did it once in real life and he didn't talk to me for days :D

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :o

That'll be him, great bloke but hates being proved wrong, on anything, I did it once in real life and he didn't talk to me for days :D

:D

I gave up arguing with him and got my Council Tax reduction anyway :D

Re the argument, you don't use it like that, it is, as you said, a simplified way of explaining the situation.

The defence lawyer will know which stage he is going to argue in court before he gets there, not keep changing stories as he gets proved wrong.

i.e. when the defence consults with his client he should be able to ascertain the existence and ownership of both goat and cabbages, if the goat did eat the cabbages that belonged to the farmer but the farmer can't prove it, you go with the 'it wasn't my goat' defence.

That's the basic reason why all lawyers demand full disclosure from their clients, they need all the information so that they can create the best defence case and the one that is most likely to succeed.

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

Proposal accepted with a caveat. I have a Welsh friend who would love to do the servicing of the Goats, whether said cabbages are found or not.

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

Proposal accepted with a caveat. I have a Welsh friend who would love to do the servicing of the Goats, whether said cabbages are found or not.

Why bother Taffy when we have our own Zpete who can take care of it? :D

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

Proposal accepted with a caveat. I have a Welsh friend who would love to do the servicing of the Goats, whether said cabbages are found or not.

Why bother Taffy when we have our own Zpete who can take care of it? :D

Not possible, I am NOT Australian.

Totally human heterosexual here.

Not into Australian style practices with Chèvre...... or sheep.

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

Proposal accepted with a caveat. I have a Welsh friend who would love to do the servicing of the Goats, whether said cabbages are found or not.

Why bother Taffy when we have our own Zpete who can take care of it? :D

Not possible, I am NOT Australian.

Totally human heterosexual here.

Not into Australian style practices with Chèvre...... or sheep.

Naw problem mate, we can throw another ass on the barbie for yah :D

My best mate in the UK is a Barrister

I think i know who that is Thadd. I had a run in with him on another forum. He was wrong on the point we argued and i can prove it. :D

A farmer owns a patch of cabbages. His neighbour's goat breaks loose and eats the cabbages. The farmer goes to his neighbour and says, "I had a patch of cabbages worth $100. Your goat ate my cabbages. Pay me my $100."

Then the owner of the goat says, "You had no cabbages. If you had any cabbages they weren't eaten. If your cabbages were eaten, it was not by a goat. If your cabbages were eaten by a goat, it wasn't my goat. And if it was my goat, he was insane."

Albeit i am not a lawyer. And i know the tale is a simplification but if i was a judge i would believe the farmer.

The farmer doesn't change his story all the time and is 100% convinced the Goat ate it. However, the owner of the Goat isn't sure of anything. To me he lost all credibility at the first statement. We all know that the Courts take a serious view of telling Porky Pies and the guy might end up paying $100, Court fees and even losing the Goat. Slit it's guts open and hey presto, the cabbages are inside :D

M'lud Council for the Defence wishes to indicate my client's acceptance of the prosecution's proposal. Should said cabbages be found within the goat's stomach the prosecution's client is free to keep the carcase having a market value in excess of the $100. However should there be no evidence of said cabbages in the goat's stomach my client would retain the right to have the prosecution's client take on all the duties currently undertaken by the goat including servicing his not insignificant herd of nanny goats just coming into season. :o

Proposal accepted with a caveat. I have a Welsh friend who would love to do the servicing of the Goats, whether said cabbages are found or not.

Why bother Taffy when we have our own Zpete who can take care of it? :D

Not possible, I am NOT Australian.

Totally human heterosexual here.

Not into Australian style practices with Chèvre...... or sheep.

Can we get a smilie of a fishing line with a very small piece of bait? :D

Can we get a smilie of a fishing line with a very small piece of bait? :D

post-19542-1222241092.gif

Touché! :o

Can we get a smilie of a fishing line with a very small piece of bait? :D

post-19542-1222241092.gif

Touché! :o

Excellent!

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