The Off Topic Thread

[cloudbusting]

i don't know whether to or to

[AlexLah]

Told ya!

Betta does not like to be with other fish specially when is male betta. In very big tank it could work but not in small one like yours.

I forgot to buy coffee again, grmphhh.....

[cashill]

[cashill]

[cashill]

[cognos]

sorry, on-topic posts are not allowed.

let me guess..you listen to " One night in Bangkok" with James 24/7

[AlexLah]

That is very nice, thank you!

Maybe better buy something like this as a pet?

[Zpete]

]

I have not been able to access Bedlam all nite...........

Edited June 14, 2009 by Zpete

[thithi]

argggg thai class tomorrowwwww

plan one - thithi needa bring rubik toy and laptop along to the class just in case : when i yam bored...

plan two - thithi needa buy jelly and some snacks before class cos she will be absolutely hungry before lunch and no time for breakfast

plan three - .......... thithi needa get up by the time the alarmed is set.

hmmmm.....

[AlexLah]

Wash happen?

[cashill]

Evelybody heb porklegs becose of swineflu ??

[BIGTOE3]

Thought you all ought to know this :

When?

AT 5 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS AFTER 4 A.M., ON THE 8TH OF JULY, THIS YEAR, THE TIME AND DATE WILL BE: 04:05:06 07-08-09

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN UNTIL THE YEAR 3009!!!

(I had a deep feeling that you just needed to know this) ;

BT

[BIGTOE3]

TELL OR DON'T TELL really OFF TOPIC

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional,

The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.'

The priest replied: 'That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.'

'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors.

This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'

The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger.. but two people under those

circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.

However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.'

'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.'

'And what is that?' asked the priest.

'Should I tell her the war is over?''

BT

[Ulysses G.]

The Crowded Train and The Poodle

> >

> >

> >

> > BRITISH HUMOUR

> >

> > The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire

> length

> > looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well

> dressed,

> > middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

> >

> > The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

> >

> >

> > The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular

> > 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

> >

> > The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was

> > under that dog.

> >

> > 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

> >

> > She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

>

> >

> > This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little

> > dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

> >

> > The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American

> > should be put in his place!'

> >

> >

> >

> > An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem

> > to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

> >

> > You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong

> > side of the road.

> >

> > And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window

> >

> >

> >

> >

BT

That was a GOOD one!

[thithi]

LOL i like that one.

[BIGTOE3]

REALLY OFF TOPIC -

AN ITALIAN BOYS CONFESSION

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you

May as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say..'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell..'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

Ah the wisdom of youth.

BT

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[BIGTOE3]

Confucius Says:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run in

Front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind

Car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one

Chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who scratch butt

Should not bite fingernails.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many

Prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong:

Man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not

Determine who is right, war determine who is

Left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put

Husband in doghouse soon find him in

Cathouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with

Wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails

To build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like

hel_l, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in

Glass house should change clothes in

Basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in

Other man's well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Crowded elevator

Smell different to midget.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Person who deletes this has no humor!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Have a good day.

BT

[chavy]

I usually come & read this thread when down & confused.....then realise I wasn't so confused after all !!!!!!!

[BIGTOE3]

I usually come & read this thread when down & confused.....then realise I wasn't so confused after all !!!!!!!

Hi Chavy I am pleased I have cleared the confusion for you.

I see big chief back.. at least you have an AV mine has disappeared

BT

[Datsun240Z]

" Come here when you need some love " - > Me love you long time.

[thithi]

LOL

err... me confused now

[BIGTOE3]

LOL

err... me confused now

You are confused ? How do you think I feel with no AV !!!!!! WHERE DID IT GO ????? How do I get it BACK ???

bt

[BIGTOE3]

Still NO AV but - talking about confusion How about this !

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.' She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

Have a good day,

bt

[BIGTOE3]

Always good to get a second opinion...

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hel_l of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tail or eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hel_l of a headache.'

New suit - £ 400

New shirt - £36

New underwear - £ 6

Second Opinion - PRICELESS

Have a good day,

BT

[cloudbusting]

all's quite here

*leaves*

[thithi]

it's getting boring

[AlexLah]

How the fish?

There is some small insect on your screen..........

[thithi]

lol that looks real, i almost hit my monitor!

the fish is good. he bit the last small one till dead now i punish him not to give him food lol

[AlexLah]

I think it needs a bit of its own medicine.

Send in, this baby, she how fishy feels when the roles are reversed, ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!

[Patsycat]

Watch out piranha boy - ve are vatching you!!

Edited July 22, 2009 by Patsycat