Dear Mr Government official,

Because you new law I have big ploblem now.

My falang husband wanted to buy new house on my name but changed his mind after your ridiculous new law. Now my Thai boyfriend I love to mucth is very angry because I promised him house within 1 year, him looking for mianoi now. My life will be no good because have to stay with smelly falang long time. Can you not see that many house Thai have falang before, we very good in this. Why you make ploblem like that?

Please change very quickly!

Have I missed something - what new law????

Dear anon123456,

Tell your farang husband or boyfriend law is not new, just strictly enforced by present officials. Foreigners have not been allowed to own land in Thailand since before I was born, even through nominees.

Anon 123456,

Thank you for your letter.

I am sorry that you will now have to stay with a smelly farang long time.

But as always there is something we maybe can do about it. I will send my secretary along with an empty lunch box and I feel confident we can come to some kind of arrangement.

I will be very very happy to help you,.... in this way that is.

Mr Government official

Dear anon123456,

Tell your farang husband or boyfriend law is not new, just strictly enforced by present officials. Foreigners have not been allowed to own land in Thailand since before I was born, even through nominees.

I know, we all know. But should not write in newspaper him, now him think to mucth.

I think this will attract more 'interesting' replies in the Pub, lets send it there

Dear Mr Government official,

Because you new law I have big ploblem now.

My falang husband wanted to buy new house on my name but changed his mind after your ridiculous new law. Now my Thai boyfriend I love to mucth is very angry because I promised him house within 1 year, him looking for mianoi now. My life will be no good because have to stay with smelly falang long time. Can you not see that many house Thai have falang before, we very good in this. Why you make ploblem like that?

Please change very quickly!

Just about how it is sometimes,

Khun Lek,

Hansum Man Bar Beer Pattaya.

Please ask Kh man daeng if him ok with condo.

Farang have big heart he want love you long time, tell farang sokopop him can still buy condo put your name, no ploblem.

As you are aware, govt work make me very thirsty too much talking, now I hiw nam, like to drink tea.

you get lunch box already? I waiting for you put something for me to put under table, khao jao mai?

Chokdee khrap, Khun govt official.