off to the pub with this one

When I first arrived the maid gave me a list of things she needed.

One was a Pot Casket...............................

It turned out she needed a washing up bowl.

After staying at a hotel in Chiang Mai and enjoying the muesli at the buffet, I emailed the chef and asked him how he prepares it. He sent me the following:

Dear Sir thank your very much for you enjoin

our breakfast buffet

provided at rest. we call that home made muesli

first you bay quick oatmeal

1 can, and quick whole wheat 1 pack,

and dries fruit as you like dry banana, raisin, or

dry apple, low fat

milk,

METHOD

boil milk, sugar and salt to test, 420 g.oatmeal,

200g whole wheat and dry

fruits cock 3-5 minutes stir occasionally,

hope you enjoin your cock,

regards, Chef Udom Tan,

hahaha great one, so the guy stirred your muesli with his cock??? and than hopes you enjoy ur own cock as well .... sounds like a nice man, hahahaha .......

My girlfriend loves this cooking show in Australia called "Masterchef", we`d watch episodes we miss online, the other day I come home from work and going through my browsing history I see www.mattersief.com.....I found it so cute! lol!!

My girlfriend loves this cooking show in Australia called "Masterchef", we`d watch episodes we miss online, the other day I come home from work and going through my browsing history I see www.mattersief.com.....I found it so cute! lol!!

That is cute indeed.

I just remebered there is (or was) a show on the Thai television about visiting the houses of Thai celebrities (sort of similar to the MTV show called cribs I guess) called: "the big cock" ... in Thai they use the expression cock-cock-cock when knocking on a door ......

I love how Thai people can`t pronounce "oole" for example Noodle would be nooden, Little to Litten, google to googen.

When my girlfriend says "Chester Grill" its comes out as seter gill!

Numb Prick is my favorite.

you've all seen them on menus etc. just share them here in this topic! These are a couple I still remember:

- 8 years ago on Koh Phangan I saw a small pharmacy with a big sign outside saying: "first AIDS" instead of first AID!

- on Samui I saw a Thai woman named "Nut" (similar sound as in "good" or "food") opening a small massage shop which said on the window: "nut massage", I guess she had a lot of male customers, lol.

- in a menu I once saw: "crap dip" instead of "crab dip"

- the most puzzling one in a menu was: "fired swamp" which turned out to be "fried shrimp"

- and a local minimart in Kanchanaburi had a terrific sign saying: "buy 2 get one 1" (probably forgot to add "for free" hahaha)

hope u guys can share some!!!

Cute

Old classic Samui road sign.

This is a funny thread, hope mine helps. To any Thais reading we are not criticising, it can be very amusing when these mistakes are made but the majority of us find it endearing rather than annoying. I must admit I would have been stumped with the 'whore dust'

Travel agency has a big sign outside proudly announcing 'WE SPEAK ENGLISH'.

Underneath that 'FARANG MELCOME'.

Is there a trades description act in Thailand?

This is a funny thread, hope mine helps. To any Thais reading we are not criticising, it can be very amusing when these mistakes are made but the majority of us find it endearing rather than annoying. I must admit I would have been stumped with the 'whore dust'

Travel agency has a big sign outside proudly announcing 'WE SPEAK ENGLISH'.

Underneath that 'FARANG MELCOME'.

Is there a trades description act in Thailand?

You are absolutely right, it is not to ridicule the Thai people at all. The opposite: it is very lovely!!!

(PS It is the other way around as well: just a minute ago I got laughed at very loudly by my gf, daughter and aunt because I pronounced something wrong)

HA HA HA HA...I simply love this thread

In a pub in Rawaii you can order red label and bad label

Jomtien beach

How about 'heneygen'

Took me a while to work out it was what I actually wanted.

A restaurant in Sukothai offers "sun dried road kill' hmmm sounded yummy, but I passed.

And they also stated a date of the actual " thing " what you are eating?

Great!

There used to be a small restaurant in Chiang Mai that also advertised "lamp chops", but I never got round to trying them.

We used to stop off at a resort on the road to Doi Inthanon for coffee and a snack. One day the manageress proudly presented me with their new "English" menu. All was fine apart from the usual "fired" instead of "fried", etc., until I came to the drinks page, to find that I could purchase a large "Cock" for just 15 baht! How such a common name as "Coke" got cocked-up like that I'll never know! At least I did get my Thai b/f to have a quiet word with the dear lady - the subsequent screams of mirth from the waitresses could be heard for miles!

I guess the ladies won't mind that

Saw some woman with a T-shirt wth Bart Simpson on it yesterday, underneath it read 'The Simsons'...you would have thought the manufacturer would have at least got the spellling correct!

Prehaps she was taking the 'P'

My local ferang restaurant serves New Zealand Lamp ? Very bright

Dave

Hey, good New Zealand lamp is hard to find! Especially nice if it's been left to hang around just a little bit.

It's one of the things I do miss about NZ, export-quality lamp.

What restaurant, please?

/edited for typo.

Hi Noah

I have checked with the owner and he is happy for me to admit here, that it is Gary's Bar/Restaurant& Mini-mart in Presat,Surin.

The new sign was arranged by a German friend and a few things were lost in translation.

The Sunday Roasts & Casserole's with New Zealand Lamp are to die for; the best I've had in Thailand.

Dave

Some good ones.

When I lived in Hong Kong we did have a 'Lei Kee shoes' and also collected business cards of Chinese people that had taken an unusual western name (often Candy, William, etc). There was a 'Hitler Wong', 'Fanny Pong' and 'Robo Kwok Won' ... someone must be on a wind up, like to think they have their tongue in their cheek but not the Hong Kong Chinese style :/

Old classic Samui road sign.

Not sure if I am missing an "in" joke here or just being a spoil-sport but that picture is obviously - badly - "Photoshopped".

The lower part of the "B" has been erased making "Brick" into "Prick" .

Surely there are enough amusing realities here without having to resort to crude techie subterfuge?

Patrick

One of my wife's friends had a t-shirt with the slogan:

"Yo Ho Ho Merry Clitoris"

I asked my wife to ask her if she knew what it said. Her friend had no idea, so I explained a few things to my wife, and she passed it on. The T-shirt hasn't been seen since.

Old classic Samui road sign.

Not sure if I am missing an "in" joke here or just being a spoil-sport but that picture is obviously - badly - "Photoshopped".

The lower part of the "B" has been erased making "Brick" into "Prick" .

Surely there are enough amusing realities here without having to resort to crude techie subterfuge?

Patrick

Actually it was done the old fashion way with yellow paint on the sign.

Sperm bar in CM or CR, and yesterday I see a lady in the Lotut wearing a shirt and on the shirt was printed: I fukc for coke.....

Sperm bar in CM or CR, and yesterday I see a lady in the Lotut wearing a shirt and on the shirt was printed: I fukc for coke.....

Sperm Pub is in Chiang Rai. At first I though that maybe they didn't know what "sperm" meant. But when asked they said they did. So I still can't figure out why they called it the "Sperm Pub" .......

@ toptuan .... that is a really good one!!! hahahaha

Bathroom in Majestic Suites, Bangkok -

Thailand is facing a draught over 30 years

Kindly help us conserve water, please secure the tap after use

Sperm bar in CM or CR, and yesterday I see a lady in the Lotut wearing a shirt and on the shirt was printed: I fukc for coke.....

Sperm Pub is in Chiang Rai. At first I though that maybe they didn't know what "sperm" meant. But when asked they said they did. So I still can't figure out why they called it the "Sperm Pub" .......

@ toptuan .... that is a really good one!!! hahahaha

Maybe the sperm pub was the former Cabbages and Condoms???

I love how Thai people can`t pronounce "oole" for example Noodle would be nooden, Little to Litten, google to googen.

When my girlfriend says "Chester Grill" its comes out as seter gill!

Of course this is because in Thai there are no words which end in the 'L' sound ....and any which actually do end with the Lor Ling letter it takes the N sound...as in the famous Bookstore D.K. Duang Kamol..

The Japanese also have this way of swapping the L and R sounds around..."I rub you bery sweet my darring..."

I love how Thai people can`t pronounce "oole" for example Noodle would be nooden, Little to Litten, google to googen.

When my girlfriend says "Chester Grill" its comes out as seter gill!

."I rub you bery sweet my darring..."