You continually hear how today's children are feral and communities are under siege, but have a look at this article and what are your thoughts?

Link-Independent

My thoughts, regardless of reading the article (interesting as it was) is that it's the lack of discipline in families and the 'land of plenty' that we live in that has caused the decline in family values. People have too much and want (and expect) too much. As a young man I saw people struggle through their problems and respect the fact that they vowed 'till death do us part'. Children were happy with the littel they had and appreciated that to get the things they wanted they had to work for it, no unrealistic expectations.

This is a bit of a rant...

I think far too many parents are obsessed with being their kids' friends and forgetting to be parents. That means having the courage to be unpopular because you did what's best for them. Spoiled kids wind up very unhappy when they learn the hard way that the world won't give in to their every demand the way an over-indulgent parent did.

Being a parent and being a friend to your children at the same time, particularly in teenage years, are almost mutually exclusive. Some of the best balanced adults I have met hated their parents as teenagers for being too hard on them yet have later developed strong friendships and respect for their parents as the fruits of those lessons matured and became obvious later in life.

Parents who seek friendship with their kids (a la Brady Bunch parenting, no spanking etc.) assume kids will ascribe a similar value to the friendship as the parent does. The motivation for the parent is ultimately still to have some control over the child. Children aren't stupid and will always seek to reject this control. Parents are perennially uncool so a kid whose parents try the friendship route may become even more extreme in their rejection behaviour towards their parents to preserve their coolness amongst their peers. Every kid is supposed to have parents that don't understand, right ? So trying to be your kid's friend may have exactly the opposite effect than intended.

Pretty much agree with all of the above.

When my daughter was born sixteen years ago, I leant heavily upon my memories of my own childhood (hasn't finished yet ) and used my parents as role-models. This seemed the natural, obvious thing to do as, the usual teen rebellion aside, I reckon they did a bloody good job. You still don't really appreciate your parents though until you have your own children, I think. As for the "parent as friend" perspective, I would say that that can occur but it shouldn't be deliberately sought. In fact, I always used (and will use again very soon) the opposite approach; that is, don't put yourself on their level, rather, treat them as if they were on yours. I always hated adults talking down to me when I was young; I can remember being very sensitive to that even at an early age. My own parents did us the honour of never patronising us and I just grew up thinking that was the norm. Their approach was "These are the rules and within those rules you have complete freedom. Approach the line-in-the-sand if you want, flirt with it if you dare but cross it and watch out." In other words, here's the carrot, here's the stick; the choice is yours. Rights and priveleges have to be earned and, with them, come duties and responsibilities. All good, old-fashioned stuff and, I'm sure, frightfully un-PC. Like I give a toss about that.

Actually, thinking about it, I treat my students here in Thailand in exactly this way. They seem to like it. Well, I think so...