Maybe the husband can explain to his wife the Olde English custom of the Iron-clad Pre-nuptial Agreement?

The reason why I ask is that my wife shocked me with a very recent un-supported statement that if our eldest daughter who will be going to study in UK 2010 becomes involved in a relationship with a foreigner that leads to wedlock then the groom SHOULD be made aware of this part of Thai culture that is still practised to this very day ....

Maybe its time for Thais to learn some Western culture. Whats good for the goose...

There can be a token gesture made that satisfies the need for "tradition" yet no real amount of cash or gold is handed over. In western society it's not unheard of that the groom or his family give a gift to the bride's parents, but I think the idea of giving cash for a bride looks crass in the eyes of many westerners who equate it to prostitution and slavery. Don't forget, Brits have a culture too, not just Thais. You need to find a compromise that satisfies both.

Hear what you are saying, but what is a token amount...how much would you say?

If the wedding would be in UK:

Do any potential guy a favour and let him know as soon as possible what sort of family he will be marrying into, and what their values are... i.e mother's main interest in marraige is getting a good price for her daughter.

Also explain to mother that in the UK her daughter will be viewed as having been bought, and all the stigmas that comes with: at best mail order brides, and at worst Thai hookers.

If the wedding would be in Thailand:

Sinsod is reasonable.

Oi! Where's the OP gone?

I smell a rat.

You respected Thai culture (apparently) by paying sin sot, but your wife will not respect English culture (if there is one haha).

Yes, in England the brides parents are supposed to pay for the wedding, inform her of that, see how she likes it. HOO HA!

I have a Thai wife and she never asked for Sin Sot. anyhow I will not pay for since Thai wants the good part of Farang culture, by marring into farang but they also want to keep the good part of Thai tradition (all about $$$$). At the same time when they divorce, they also want the legal aspect of Farag law which will divide the asset cumulated during marriage.

Sounds like they want the cake and eat it too

OK when the time comes let her ask for a figure then halve it after all the relationship is only half Thai and she has to respect your culture too.

Not a fair compromise really as the guy will still be under pressure to pay something.

Ok switch to plan2 tell em to F***Off that should sort it all out

The UK is not a free for all. If you are not prepared to integrate, speak English, marry an english person and make english friends dont go there.

The once a year/two years i go back to the Uk seems to show me that it is exactly a free for all. The Bend over backwards PC government lets them do anything they want, while

the poor old brit is getting left out in the cold.

note to mods, sorry I am not trying to hijack the thread, but I had to reply to this.

As others have said in this thread "when in Rome..."

Put your foot down hard and do not tolerate this attitude for one second, tell your wife she should respect the British values and ways of doing things. If she cannot accept that dont send her daughter there. Would she be willing to fork out for the wedding as is traditionally (but optional I must add) done in the uk?? I think she would retract her arrogant sid sod requests rather hastily at the thought of that.......a way of highlighting your point would be ask if an indian or uk person came to Thailand to study and got in a relationship with your daughter would she accept the demand to pay the grooms family or the wedding?? she is thinking of no-one but herself and that her culture and expectations are superior....

This attitude disgusts me - I am sick of having to show deep respect and put other cultural sensitivites before my own in other parts of the world while people think they can move to the UK and pick and choose the aspects of the UK that suit them while carrying on behaving like they are still in their own country. The UK is not a free for all. If you are not prepared to integrate, speak English, marry an english person and make english friends dont go there.

hear hear!

I refused to pay the dowry, as I regarded it as paying for a wife... having said that, British women aren't exactly cheap!

"....having said that, British women aren't exactly cheap! ...."

The ones I've met are....a couple of champagne cocktails usually does the trick.

Still no OP

Don't feed the troll.

Still no OP

Don't feed the troll.

People have lives outside the forum. Keep the troll calling to yourself please.

As others have said in this thread "when in Rome..."

Put your foot down hard and do not tolerate this attitude for one second, tell your wife she should respect the British values and ways of doing things. If she cannot accept that dont send her daughter there. Would she be willing to fork out for the wedding as is traditionally (but optional I must add) done in the uk?? I think she would retract her arrogant sid sod requests rather hastily at the thought of that.......a way of highlighting your point would be ask if an indian or uk person came to Thailand to study and got in a relationship with your daughter would she accept the demand to pay the grooms family or the wedding?? she is thinking of no-one but herself and that her culture and expectations are superior....

This attitude disgusts me - I am sick of having to show deep respect and put other cultural sensitivites before my own in other parts of the world while people think they can move to the UK and pick and choose the aspects of the UK that suit them while carrying on behaving like they are still in their own country. The UK is not a free for all. If you are not prepared to integrate, speak English, marry an english person and make english friends dont go there.

Ono of the best posts i've read on the forum in a long time

I know this his somewhat controversial subject has been discussed elsewhere within this forum but is anybody aware, or had personal experience of Sin Sod being requested offshore, in particular United Kingdom.

The reason why I ask is that my wife shocked me with a very recent un-supported statement that if our eldest daughter who will be going to study in UK 2010 becomes involved in a relationship with a foreigner that leads to wedlock then the groom SHOULD be made aware of this part of Thai culture that is still practised to this very day ....

What would be the immplications civil, and criminal in UK for such a request if things went wrong later.

For the record, I do have personal experience of this when my wife and I married and I paid a UNDISCLOSED amount of Sin Sod in the form of gold purchased whilst working in the Middle East, so I am aware.

Maybe you should discuss with your wife the British culture. i.e. the parents of the bride pays for the wedding. As far as Sin Sod is concerned in England, I would think that would be looked on as purchasing an item from a shop. In this case, the item would be your daughter, so basically, you would be selling your kid and I think you will find that that is illegal in the UK under both Civil and Criminal Law.

Maybe we should ALL be aware of what sin sod is before we contribute to this post.I thought it was to show the parent(s) that you have the wealth to take care of the daughter,not to buy her,that is ridiculous to my understanding as many sin sods are returned.If i am wrong please tell me other wise, instead of insinuating that the husband will be a criminal for purchasing a thai lady,which is typical of a western female view.

As others have said in this thread "when in Rome..."

Put your foot down hard and do not tolerate this attitude for one second, tell your wife she should respect the British values and ways of doing things. If she cannot accept that dont send her daughter there. Would she be willing to fork out for the wedding as is traditionally (but optional I must add) done in the uk?? I think she would retract her arrogant sid sod requests rather hastily at the thought of that.......a way of highlighting your point would be ask if an indian or uk person came to Thailand to study and got in a relationship with your daughter would she accept the demand to pay the grooms family or the wedding?? she is thinking of no-one but herself and that her culture and expectations are superior....

This attitude disgusts me - I am sick of having to show deep respect and put other cultural sensitivites before my own in other parts of the world while people think they can move to the UK and pick and choose the aspects of the UK that suit them while carrying on behaving like they are still in their own country. The UK is not a free for all. If you are not prepared to integrate, speak English, marry an english person and make english friends dont go there.

Ono of the best posts i've read on the forum in a long time

AGREE,Brilliant post and a very good viewpoint too.but wait for the pc brigade mate.

The UK is not a free for all. If you are not prepared to integrate, speak English, marry an english person and make english friends dont go there.

The once a year/two years i go back to the Uk seems to show me that it is exactly a free for all. The Bend over backwards PC government lets them do anything they want, while

the poor old brit is getting left out in the cold.

note to mods, sorry I am not trying to hijack the thread, but I had to reply to this.

Again,a very good post and thats why i am living here,but i keep in reality of the Uk pc brigade by coming on here.

BTW Josky,

Do thai men buy their women too.

The OP has left the building on an unrelated matter and I see little positive discussion coming out of here.