In Ireland we also have an Irish mile - 2240 yards. How did that happen?!?

Because you started with 2000 yards and, whereas the English deducted 240 yards to make it easier to walk, you added the 240 yards to make the English work harder when in Ireland.

I wonder how he affords to live? The food alone would cost a motza!

He doesn't, we do!

Thats the point.

Sounds like a good script for 'Shameless'

Dave(UK tax payer)

How is he supported by the taxpayer (Medical expenses aside)? I know in Australia you couldn't afford to buy that much food on the dole?

BTW - I'm not saying you are wrong. I just don't understand how he can have such an expensive lifestyle supported fully by the government.

In Ireland we also have an Irish mile - 2240 yards. How did that happen?!?

Because you started with 2000 yards and, whereas the English deducted 240 yards to make it easier to walk, you added the 240 yards to make the English work harder when in Ireland.

That's a good point Humph!

Who cares if you are so fat you can't get out of bed? And and and i shall stop before i get banned

Who cares if you are so fat you can't get out of bed? And and and i shall stop before i get banned

All those people who prefer their taxes to go towards propping up fascist, racist and sexist governments apparently.

I could never work out why a hundredweight was 112 pounds. We had some interesting distance measurements as well: chains, furlongs....

as a boy i was fascinated when we were taught british currency units. the coin we liked most was called "fart-thing" and then there were the Savile Row tailors who charged "guineas" for a suit. my english teacher Ms. Mattheson had huge boobs but could not answer my question why a guinea coin did not exist for a while we had heated discussions why the Brits pronounce two-pennies as "tuppence". later we unanimously agreed that our forefathers did the right thing when they expelled these funny germanic tribes and made them live on a remote island till the Frenchies conquered them and introduced some culture unfortunately the culture did not last. some Brits claim they weigh x stones, they drive on the wrong side of the roads, they eat (YUCK!) steak and kidney pie and their national dish is fish and chips. why they call french fries "chips" is an enigma

Saville Row tailors actually charge in small furry animals called guinea pigs which would explain the misunderstanding.

But then any race that would rather say Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung instead of speed limit is always going to have linguistic problems.

I could never work out why a hundredweight was 112 pounds. We had some interesting distance measurements as well: chains, furlongs....

1. as a boy i was fascinated when we were taught british currency units. the coin we liked most was called "fart-thing"

2. and then there were the Savile Row tailors who charged "guineas" for a suit.

3. my english teacher Ms. Mattheson had huge boobs but could not answer my question why a guinea coin did not exist

4. for a while we had heated discussions why the Brits pronounce two-pennies as "tuppence".

5. later we unanimously agreed that our forefathers did the right thing when they expelled these funny germanic tribes and made them live on a remote island till the Frenchies conquered them and introduced some culture

6. unfortunately the culture did not last.

7. some Brits claim they weigh x stones,

8. they drive on the wrong side of the roads,

9. they eat (YUCK!) steak and kidney pie and

10. their national dish is fish and chips.

11. why they call french fries "chips" is an enigma

Answers (on a postcard please)

1. A Far_thing was only one of several excellent features of the English (nay, British!!) counting system. All our weights, measures and currency units were divisible by multitudinious factors, not likre this crummy metric system. When in my early work days I used to have to calculate how much 12 yards, two feet four inches of 4x2 studding would cost at a shilling and thrupence ha'penny a foot - and do it in my head - then I was clever. Now I just punch it into a computer and can't tell if I have the right answer or not. This is the sort of mental gymnastics that made us rulers of the known universe for a hundred years and more. (Killing off the fuzzy wuzzies was more fun though)

2. At the time of decimalisation a friend of mine owned a dress shop. He used to charge for his frocks in guineas. After decimalisation his gowns were priced in 'new' guineas (1.10 pounds). He went to the Cannes film festival that year, had a great time, all on the profits of his 'new' guineas.

3. Was your English teacher a buxom woman who taught English - or a buxom English woman who taught? She sounds Scottish to me, but then buxom?? No - they're all scrawny North of the border.

4. Because it was 'penny plain, tuppence coloured' when you bought your do-it-yourself cardboard toy theatre. And what about the thrupny bit? Or the tanner? Not forgetting the Bob in bob-a-job week. And the florin, the half-crown, 'arf a nicker, quid, so on. Used to go in the sweetshop for a ha'penny sherbet.

5. Not just funny Germanic tribes - the Celts came originally from Central Europe, the Picts and the Scots were local, as far as I know, we picked up a lot of Danes, Norwegians and asorted Scandinavian riff-raff who tried to beat seven shades of Hades out of these Anglo-Saxon Germanic tribes. That was after the Romans had had their hides whupped by Boadicca and here Icenii, but were stoopid enough to return and steal all our tin and wimmin. The one good thing they did was to build a nice big wall to keep the ravening hordes out.

You other history is a touch screwed - we were never conquered by the French - it was Billy the Conk who came over from Normandy. The reason it was called Normandy? Because it was chock-a-block with Norsemen - more of yer actual Scannies-gone-wild.

We never not 'ad no Froggie kulchur 'ere. But we whupped 'em good evry match we played - until that Mary Stuart gave Calais away, 'cos she didn't want all those duty-free smokes comin' acraws the Channel.

6. Culture is surely an inert gel in a Petri dish - used for propogating extremely nasty diseases.

7. Going back to our Roman residents, X meaning ten - these were called the little people - we exported them to PaddyLand - a theme park somewhere to the west of desolation (also known as Wales).

8. No, no, no, no, no!!! You've got it all wrong!! Left is right - right is wrong. Everyone in Britain knows this simple rule!

9. Nuffink wrong with Kate 'n' Sidney. You just have to squeeze all that smelly yellow stuff out of the kidneys first.

(But I prefer steak and ale pie, or steak and Guiness as a poor second best)

10. Wrong again - the national dish is Balti.

11. Don't blame that on the Brits - we know that the Belgians eat their chips with mayonnaise - it's our colonial cousins from across the pond that dont know the difference between France (the most McDonalds outlets in Europe) and Belgium (the most bureaucrats in Europe).